The Athonite elder talks about how to control the tongue. How to control your tongue? Holy Fathers on curbing the tongue

32. Dear Father Vasily! What is your relationship with Archpriest Ioann Lesnichenko, cleric of the Comrat diocese of the Russian Orthodox Church MP (Vladimir Sergeenko)

Dear Vladimir!

As a priest, I cannot have any relationship with Ioann Lisnichenko, because... his actions conflict with the laws of the state and the dogmas of the Church.

\The fact is that Lisnichenko, as well as his colleagues, priests John Kristev and dean Peter Kelesh, are involved in the sale of the building and the destruction of the property of the Kongaz Sunday School, which is the property of the parishioners of the Kongaz Church. The money they received from the sale of the building disappeared without a trace. Such actions are qualified as theft of someone else's property on an especially large scale and are punishable by courts, both secular (put in prison) and church (defrocked).

Consequently, Lisnichenko, Kristev and Keles are defrocked by the Holy Spirit. That is why I, as a priest, cannot have any priestly relations with them.

In dogmatic terms, their violations are even more serious, because they committed sins of sacrilege and violated property dedicated to God. They acted like vandals destroying everything parish institutions that almost all Christians built for their children. Kongaz, since 1990 to 2004 Thus, these people, driven by the spirit of profit and enrichment, create obstacles to the churching of our children and youth.

Due to the fact that the parish institutions of the Church of the village of Kongaz were built by the decision of the Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church and with the blessing of Bishop Vincent (Morar), as well as with the participation and material support Bishop Dorimedont (Chekana), now deceased, therefore, the actions of Lisnichenko, Kristev and Keles also conflict with the decisions of the Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church and the above-mentioned bishops, which even more reliably confirms the fact that they are deprived of the priestly rank.

Answered 09/24/2015

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31. My husband constantly lies. We have scandals on this basis. He repeatedly asked for forgiveness... but did not stop lying. I don’t have the strength, I’m already thinking about divorce. What to do? (Elena)

Dear Elena!

Judging by the question, your husband has a spiritual illness associated with violating the 9th commandment.

The fact that you cannot wean him off his bad habit suggests that you are trying to solve the problem in a mundane way. This is your mistake, because... There are so many worldly reasons for pathological lying that even psychologists cannot fully understand them.

The path to solving the problem lies through the churching of your husband. Therefore, try to truly church him. If you succeed, then he will begin to repent and work on correcting his behavior. If he lies when visiting church, it means that true churching did not happen to him. Tell your confessor about this.

If your husband refuses to attend the temple, then there is another option. You yourself repent that you made a mistake in choosing a husband. Start asking God for his correction, and also submit notes in the temple for his admonition.

If this does not help, then humble yourself and accept him as he is.

Answered 07/28/2015

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30. Trinity Church in the village of Kongaz is very prosperous...do you think this is good? (Vadim Nikolaevich)

Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers

Dear Vadim Nikolaevich!

We see the prosperity of churches not only in Kongaz, but also in other villages of Gagauzia. This in itself may not be bad, but whether it will be justified by God, I don’t know.

In my opinion, today money should be spent not on the external splendor of churches, but on the creation of institutions for the churching of children and youth. A Christian who does not care about his child’s churching commits the sin of sacrificing to Satan, because raises a child not for God, but for the devil.

The situation that we see today in the Holy Trinity Church. Kongaz cannot please, because... Church institutions that functioned in Kongaz before the church coup in 2004 are today liquidated, their property stolen and sold. Therefore, the external splendor of this temple cannot please.

Answered 05/22/2015

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29. Dear Father Vasily. What is your relationship with the Trinity Church in the village of Kongaz? (The question was asked by Vadim Nikolaevich).

Dear Vadim Nikolaevich.

My relationship with the Trinity Church in the village of Kongaz is the most direct.

Firstly, I was baptized in it (in 1951). Secondly, this temple was built by my ancestors (1883);Third, numerous of my relatives, both blood and spiritual, found (and still find) consolation in him;Fourthly, since 1989 I am currently a minister of this temple.

In 1990 I was given the obedience of organizing the work of parish institutions of a catechism and trusteeship nature. In 1994, after my consecration, I was assigned to serve as a priest, and since 2000. the rector of this temple.

In 2004 reprimands were imposed on me (due to slander by the dean), but they are not valid, because go beyond church dogma.Consequently, by God’s determination, I continue to remain a minister of the Kongaz Holy Trinity Church, despite the fact that I am in another church in the village of Kongaz - Pokrovsky.

On a personal level, I would like to step away from the Kongaz church conflict, especially since I am already a pensioner, but this cannot be done until the canonical, dogmatic and legal knots associated with this conflict are untied.

Answered 05/19/2015

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28. I recently read the novel “The Alchemist” by the writer Paulo Coelho. I would like to hear how you see it (I am interested in the part about the “path”). (Peter, Kyiv)

Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers

Dear Peter!

The novel “The Alchemist” by P. Coelho is built on the idea of ​​human “superpowers”. Its essence is that supposedly there are some hidden forces inside a person. Having revealed them, he could solve all the problems of his life himself, without the help of God.

The idea is not new, and does not belong to Coelho. Its true author is the serpent from the Bible.: "... And the serpent said to the woman: ... on the day that you eat them (forbidden fruits ), your eyes will be opened, and you will be like gods..." (Gen., ch. 3, v. 4,5). Having believed the snake, our ancestors, having tasted the forbidden fruits, tried to “become like gods...” We know what came of this from the lives of Adam and Eve.

We also see the idea of ​​“superpowers” ​​in the works of Hitler, Nietzsche, Maigret, Hubbard and others. OnlyThe ways of their disclosure are different for everyone: for the serpent - “Eating forbidden fruits”; in Maigret - “The Merger of Man with Nature” (the Anastasiev movement); Hitler - “Development of a race of geniuses by maintaining the purity of Aryan blood”; in Nietzsche - “Destruction of the creature in man, in order to create a creator (superman) out of him,” etc.

Let's return to your question. The moment “Path” from the novel “The Alchemist” that interests you is a variant of revealing the “superpowers” ​​developed by P. Coelho. In the novel, Coelho wraps this idea in 3 shells: 1st - a sweet, attractive parable; 2nd - esotericism; 3rd - magic.

P. Coelho reveals the essence of “The Path” with a description of adventures young man Santiago, who had a dream that he would find treasures near Egyptian pyramids. He goes to a fortune teller so that she can interpret this dream for him. Then he meets a strange stranger who advises Santiago to hit the road and gives him two stones. And throughout this entire story there is an indoctrination: “everyone has their own path” and “everyone should follow their own path...”, etc.

By revealing this idea, Coelho turns a person into an idol. He wants man to become a god himself, to be able to rule the world, know all its secrets, and perform miracles. He believes that “Every person on earth, no matter what he does, plays main role in the history of the world."

Similar ideas of St. the fathers attributed them to spiritual diseases called “temptations.” They are extremely widespread in the world and extremely dangerous, because in essence they are the main “dogma” of anti-Christianity.

Answered 02/28/2015

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27. Please tell me, is it possible to get married again if the first marriage did not take place and the spouses separated, and what is the right thing to do, and what is needed for this? (Svetlana)

Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers

A second wedding is allowed, but spiritually it is painful. Therefore, to correctly resolve the issue, you need to contact the priest with whom you want to get married again.

The priest must investigate the circumstances to identify and remove canonical obstacles to your second marriage. After this, he will give you recommendations on what you should do next to create a normal family.

Answered 02/13/2015

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26. Please tell me, is marriage with an unloved person a sin? (Konstantin)

Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers

Dear Konstantin!

Marriage to an unloved person cannot in itself be a sin. The fact is that love is an acquired feeling. Therefore, spouses, even if they do not have love for each other, can find this love, and without much difficulty. They just have to want it.The absence of such a desire among spouses is a real sin that should be guarded against, because... it can lead to conflicts and family destruction.

It should be said that the mass culture of the current century instills in people (through television and the Internet) distorted ideas about love. The essence of these distortions is that instead of love, a person is instilled with base instincts (sexual desires), which actually have nothing to do with love. Such a lie is a real tragedy, fraught with dire consequences for all humanity!

Answered: 04/30/2014 .

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25. In “Deuteronomy” it is said that they should not create idols or depict God. Nevertheless, we see how they paint God, pray to icons, kiss the relics of saints, like idols. Is this a sin and similar to paganism? (Vitaly U.)

Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers

Dear Vitaly!

The Second Commandment prohibits the making of images and the worship of objects in which people attach false spiritual meaning. This includes pagan gods (Apollo, Venus, Prometheus, Zeus, etc.); objects of witchcraft, superstition, witchcraft, fortune telling, amulets, talismans, attributes of fenshui, horoscope, pagan beliefs, etc.

Modernpeople canput false spiritual meaning into television programs, films, shows, computer games, virtual entertainment, etc. Such sins are extremely widespread. This is what the 2nd Commandment says.

As for church objects, the prohibition of the 2nd commandment does not apply to them, because they have a sacred meaning (true spiritual meaning is invested in them). These include books with sacred texts, icons, relics, temples, etc. In the Old Testament, these included tablets, unleavened bread, the Ark of the Covenant, images of Cherubim in the Tabernacle of Moses and in the Temple of Solomon, etc.

To make it easier to understand these issues, let us give the following examples: is it possible to compare the image of Christ crucified with the image of Apollo? Or an image of the Mother of God with the Child in her hands with the image of the Venus de Milo? Of course it’s impossible, because... that would be the greatest blasphemy!

It must be said that it is not only the Orthodox who portray God and the Saints. Let's open the books and magazines of Baptists, Adventists, Jehovah's Witnesses and other Christian denominations (almost all!): they are full of images of Christ, prophets, apostles, martyrs and other saints.

Moses, for example, depicted Cherubim in the Tabernacle (which is in Heaven), and Solomon depicted them in the Temple. Can they really then also be considered idolaters? Of course not, because... images and objects that contain true spiritual meaning are an integral part of true religion.

A natural question arises: Why, in this case, do Christians of some denominations attributeOrthodox violations of the 2nd Commandment? The answer is simple: because these denominations reject church history. That is why they themselves are mistaken and they mislead others.

Answered 04/30/2014

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24. How to relate to the opinion of people who claim that religion is the control of humanity? (Alexander)

Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers

Dear Alexander!

From the standpoint of the modern, distorted understanding of the meaning of the word “religion,” these people are right. Such “religion” is indeed an effective tool for controlling people. The mechanism of this control is based on the principle that a person’s behavior is formed through his spirit (the spirit creates forms for itself). Consequently, by shaping a person’s spirit according to a pre-planned scenario, one can control his behavior. This method of managing people is used very widely in the world. People, having believed lies, follow lies and become slaves of lies. Thus, they lose their true freedom, which brings them countless troubles and problems.

The reason for such a sad phenomenon is the totalreligious ignorance.

Answered 11/23/2013

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23. Father, what should you do when you’re so thirsty before Communion?! (I take dehydrating medications). What to do, tell me! (Alexander L., Moscow)

Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers

Regarding your question, it is better for you to consult with the priests with whom you receive communion. This is the best solution to your issue.

Answered 11/18/2013

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22. How and why did the Church of Kongaz village buy the building of the House of Culture? (Nikolai B., Kongaz village)

Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers.

The church in the village of Kongaz did not buy the building of the cultural center. The building was bought by parishioners in 2003. and donated it to the Church. Let us explain how and why this was done?

In 1990 With the blessing of Bishop Vincent, the first Sunday School groups opened in our parish. For their normal operation, there was a need for a special building.

At first, we decided to build the Sunday School building ourselves. We acquired land and bought building materials. However, there were envious people who coveted this land. INIn 1997, in order to steal it, they organized a riot in our parish, amid the noise of which the land was stolen.

In 1999 the opportunity arose to purchase a finished building at the expense of the property shares of collective farmers and parishioners of the Church. At that time, the collective farm was disbanded and its property began to be distributed to collective farmers. The people who stole the land intervened again, and the building was transferred not to us, but to others.

Due to the fact that without having their own building, it is very difficult to conduct Sunday school classes, the parishioners decided to buy the building of the cultural center and transfer it to the Church: the building of the cultural center was put up for auction in 1999. by decision of the Comrat Court.

For complete clarity of this, at first glance, unusual process, we explain its background.

1).In 1968 at The churches took away part of the yard, on which the collective farm built a House of Culture (20 meters from the altar) and a Cinema (40 meters from the vestibule).

2).In 1995 The collective farm took money from the bank (6.5 million lei) and registered the building of the cultural center as an object of collateral.

3).In 1999 K-Z was disbanded, both buildings were put up for sale. The cinema was bought by a private owner. There was no buyer at the DC, so it was handed over to the bank as an object of collateral.

4). In 2001. we came to an agreement with the bank and began to use the building of the cultural center for the needs of the Church (until a buyer appeared). At that time m No one except the Church held major events in the cultural center.

5).In 2003 the cost of selling the recreation center was reduced. The parishioners found money to borrow, bought it and donated it to the Church.

At the time of the purchase of the recreation center, more than 20 institutions for children and youth operated in the Kongaz Church. With the acquisition of the building, we resolved the issue of their compact placement.

Answered 08/15/2013

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21. Why do you throw mud at the Church in which you were ordained? (Pavel, Kongaz)

Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers.

Dear Pavel!

The tone of your questions gives rise to counter questions to yourself. Try to answer them for yourself, only according to your conscience.

1.Where did you see, hear, or read materials in which we slandered the Church? Could you show us one of these materials, or name a witness who would confirm this?

2. Did you yourself guess that the second parish of the Church in Kongaz was wrong, illegal, or did someone tell you about it?

Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers.

Dear Pyotr Kirillovich!

Based on the details of the question, I can guess who exactly you are talking about. I am well acquainted with the woman and the priest to whom you attribute such grave sins.

I am very touched by your zeal for the purity of church life. However, I testify that the relationship between the characters in your question is absolutely pure, as the relationship between a spiritual father and a spiritual daughter should be. That’s why I conclude that your alarm is false and not from God.
Archpriest Vasily Ikizli answers.

According to the Bible, man is saved only through Christ (“I am the door: whoever enters through Me will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture” (John 10:9). However, there is no direct information that only those who recognize Christ will be saved, and those who do not recognize Him will certainly all perish. We cannot know what the fate of people who are not baptized is. Most likely, this is a sacrament known only to God.

Also, we cannot unambiguously answer the questions about who is closer to God: a baptized bandit, or an unbaptized person of good behavior?

Answered 03/11/2013 Not you and I, but only God’s Court can determine who is more right: people who did not agree with the atheistic government, or people who agreed to peacefully coexist with it. Moreover, they not only agreed, but even served this government: they worked for it, praised its leaders, accepted its rules and culture...

I would not advise you to make hasty conclusions about ROCOR and the events that took place at that time.

Answered 02/18/2013

Our reader Allinas answers

"The Russian Orthodox Church Abroad, consisting of dioceses, spiritual missions and churches located outside Russia, is an inextricable part of the Russian Orthodox Church, temporarily existing on an autonomous basis." There have never been any dogmatic differences in the doctrine and practice of the ROCOR, which is due to the fact that its leadership has always seen as its primary task the preservation of Orthodox doctrine and practice in immutability and purity. In view of such a conservative line, the ROCOR always harshly condemned everything that she considered as deviations from the purity of Orthodoxy, such as Sophianism, “Sergianism,” ecumenism. She was always hostile to “Latinism” (Catholicism). Therefore, before throwing such accusations..."cowards who fled from the country." I would have read history first, then I would have learned that part of the Russian clergy and monasticism were expelled from the country after the revolution of 1917..

Answered 02/23/2013

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The greatest need lies with us to control our tongue as it should and to bridle it. The engine of the tongue is the heart; What the heart is full of, it pours out with the tongue. But, conversely, the feeling of the heart poured out through the tongue strengthens and takes root in the heart. Therefore, language is one of the significant figures in the formation of our character.

Good feelings are silent. Outpourings through words are sought by more egoistic feelings, in order to express what flatters our pride and what can show us, as we think, from the best side. Verbosity in large cases comes from a certain proud conceit, according to which, imagining that we are too knowledgeable and that our opinion about the subject of speech is the most satisfactory, we feel an irresistible compulsion to speak out and, with copious speech and repeated repetitions, imprint the same opinion in the hearts of others, imposing such Thus, they unsolicited teachers and sometimes dreamed of having as students such persons who understand the matter much better than the teacher.

What has been said, however, applies to such cases when the objects of speech are more or less worthy of attention. For the most part, multiplicity is unambiguous with idle talk; and in this case there are no words to fully describe the evils that arise from this bad habit. And in general, verbosity opens the doors of the soul, through which the warmth of the heart of reverence immediately emerges, all the more so does idle talk.

Verbosity distracts attention from itself, and in the heart, thus not observed, ordinary passionate sympathies and desires begin to creep in, and sometimes with such success that when the idle talk ends, in the heart there will be not only permission, but also a decision to do passionate things.

Idle talk is the door to condemnation and slander, a carrier of false news and opinions, a sower of discord and discord. It suppresses the taste for mental work and almost always serves as a cover for the lack of thorough knowledge. After verbosity, when the fumes of self-satisfaction pass, a certain feeling of melancholy and laziness always remains.

Doesn't this indicate that the soul then reluctantly recognizes itself as having been robbed?

The Apostle James, wanting to show how difficult it is for a talkative person to refrain from doing anything unhelpful, sinful and harmful, said that keeping the tongue within proper boundaries is the property of only perfect men: “If anyone does not sin in word, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body.” (Jacob 3, 2).

The tongue, as soon as it begins to speak for its own pleasure, runs in speech like an unbridled horse, and blurts out not only what is good and appropriate, but also what is bad and harmful. That is why this apostle calls it “uncontrollable evil, filled with deadly poison” ( Jacob 3, 8). In agreement with him, Solomon also said in ancient times: “You cannot avoid sin by talking too much” (Proverbs 10, 19). And let us say with Ecclesiastes that in general, whoever speaks a lot exposes his own madness, for usually only "A madman multiplies words" (Eccl. 10, 14).

Do not ramble on in long conversations with someone who does not listen to you with a kind heart, lest, having bored him, you make yourself abominable to him, as it is written: “If you multiply words, it will become vile” (Sire. 20, 8). Beware of speaking harshly and in a high-toned manner, for both are extremely hateful and make one suspect that you are very vain and think too much about yourself.

Never talk about yourself, about your affairs or about your relatives, except in cases when it is necessary, but also speak as briefly and quickly as possible. When you see that others talk about themselves in excess, force yourself not to imitate them, although their words seem humble and self-reproachful.

As for your neighbor and his affairs, do not refuse to speak, but always speak briefly, even where and when it would be required for his good.

While talking, remember and try to fulfill the commandment of St. Thalassia, which reads: “Of the five kinds of subjects of speech in an interview with others, use three with prudence and without fear; use the fourth not often, and completely abandon the fifth” (“Philokalia”, 1st hundred, chapter 69).

One of those who write the first three understands this: yes, no, by itself or obviously; by the fourth he means doubtful, and by the fifth completely unknown. That is, about what you know for sure, that it is true or false and that it is obvious by itself, speak about it with decisiveness as true or as false, or as obvious; It is better not to say anything about what is doubtful, and when there is a need, speak as if it is doubtful, without prejudging; Don’t talk to you about the unknown at all.

Someone else says: we have five techniques or figures of speech: vocative, when we call on someone; interrogative, when we ask; desirable or supplicant, when we wish or ask; definitive, when we express a decisive opinion about what; imperative, when we command with authority and authority.

Of these five, always use the first three freely, the fourth as rarely as possible, and do not touch the fifth at all.

Speak about God with all your affection, especially about His love and goodness, but with fear, thinking about how not to sin in this too, by saying something unspeakable about the Divine and confusing the simple hearts of those who hear. Therefore, love more than ever to listen to the conversations of others about this, putting their words into the inner repositories of your heart.

When they talk about something else, let only the sound of the voice reach your hearing, and not the thought to your mind, which should stand unwaveringly directed towards God. Even when you need to listen to someone who is talking about something in order to understand what is going on and give the proper answer, and then do not forget, between the speech heard and spoken, to lift the eye of your mind to Heaven, where your God is, thinking moreover about His greatness and the fact that He does not take His eye off you and looks at you sometimes favorably, sometimes unfavorably, according to what happens in the thoughts of your heart, in your speeches, movements and deeds.

When you need to speak, think well in advance about what comes into your heart to say before it comes to your tongue, and you will find that much of it is such that it is much better for it not to come out of your mouth. But at the same time, know that even though it seems to you to be a good thing to express, it is much better for others to remain buried in a coffin of silence. Sometimes you yourself find out about this immediately after the end of the conversation.

Silence is a great strength in our invisible battle and a sure hope of achieving victory. Silence is very kind to those who do not rely on themselves, but rely on God alone. It is the guardian of sacred prayer and a wonderful helper in the exercise of virtues, and at the same time a sign of spiritual wisdom. St. Isaac says that “keeping the tongue not only makes the mind rise up to God, but also in obvious deeds performed by the body, secretly provides great strength to accomplish them. It also enlightens in hidden work, if only one maintains silence with knowledge” (“Philokalia” in Russian translation, verse 31, p. 208). In another place he praises him like this: “When you put all the deeds of this hermit’s life on one side, and silence on the other, then you will find that it outweighs on the scales. There is a lot of good advice for us; but when someone becomes close to silence, it will be unnecessary for him to keep them” (“Philokalia” in Russian translation, verse 41, p. 251).

In another place he calls silence “the sacrament of the future age”; words, he says, “are the instrument of this world” (ibid., verse 42, p. 263). Saint Barsanuphius puts it above theology, saying: “If you are almost theologizing, then know that silence is more worthy of surprise and glory” (ibid., answer 36). Therefore, although it happens that “Some are silent because they don’t have what say; different... because waiting for the right time to speak" ( Sire. 20, 6), some for other reasons, “for the sake of human glory or out of zeal for this virtue of silence, or because he holds a conversation hidden in his heart with God, from which the attention of his mind does not want to depart” (St. Isaac, f. 76, p. 546), but in general we can say that whoever is silent shows himself to be prudent and wise ( Sire. 19, 28, 20:5).

In order to get used to silence, I will show you one very direct and simple means: take up this task - and the task itself will teach you how to do it and help you in this. To maintain zeal for such work, think more often about the harmful consequences of indiscriminate talkativeness and the saving consequences of prudent silence. When you come to partake of the saving fruits of silence, then you will no longer need any lessons in this regard.

Venerable Nikodim Svyatogorets

"Invisible Swearing"

One of the most difficult challenges a person faces is to control his tongue. Sins are also committed with the tongue - slander, gossip, lies, hurtful words... Probably everyone knows when, in a fit of anger or malice, we speak and shout out the first thing that comes to mind, and then bitterly regret it. Is it possible to somehow avoid this? How not to be a victim of your words? How to protect yourself from this?

Think before you say anything. No matter how difficult it may seem, especially when emotions get the better of you. Most the right way To protect yourself from the dire consequences of your words is to think before you speak. We are used to speaking without thinking, that words have lost at least some value, and fly out of us right and left without much significance.

Imagine that for every thoughtless word you say, you will have to bear punishment. Just for yourself, imagine that you will be hurt if you say something hurtful to another person, this will force you to think before you speak.

2. Ask for forgiveness

No matter how difficult it may seem, if you have hurt another person with your words, just ask for forgiveness. Even if this person brought you pain, offended you, or in your opinion deserved it, do not be the one who returns evil for evil. There is nothing good in this. Our religion calls for restraint, humility and patience in all situations. In addition, asking for forgiveness itself will force you to show restraint next time in advance, so as not to ask for forgiveness later.

3. Surround yourself good people

If you notice that your environment makes you prone to gossiping and talking about others, change it. Surround yourself with good people who see only the good in people and will teach you the same. Good friends bring out only the best traits in us and force us to give up bad habits.

4. Give a reminder

Gossip, lies - all these are sins committed by the tongue and are forbidden in Islam. This is stated in both the Koran and the hadiths of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). Study this topic in the hadiths, the Koran, make a reminder for yourself, study the punishment that follows for committing such sins. Just visualize these punishments for yourself and make these sins something very terrible for yourself. Remember the angels who every second record your every deed and word...

5. Reward yourself

Every time you can restrain yourself or remain silent, when you could say something offensive and bad, reward yourself with some kind of gift, praise yourself for doing what you should!

Everyone has probably heard the expression My tongue is my enemy. And it is true. Sometimes we happen to say things that we later bitterly regret. We get angry at our own language and think about how to curb it. In the series of lessons "My language..." we will talk about how to stop fighting with own language how to turn him into your best friend, how to find mutual language With different people regardless of gender and temperament.

“A word spoken from the heart goes straight to the heart.”

Lesson 1. How to make friends with your own language.

Today we will understand the nature of language. First, let's remember Chekhov's "Chameleon". The circumstances are quite curious - a certain dog bit the foreman’s finger (he poked it in the nose with a burning cigar), and they do not change, the situational coloring of the circumstances changes (the dog can either be someone else’s or a general’s). So what should poor police warden Ochumelov do?

Hm!.. Okay... - says Ochumelov sternly, coughing and wiggling his eyebrows. - Okay... Whose dog? I won't leave it like this. I'll show you how to loosen dogs! It's time to pay attention to such gentlemen who do not want to obey the regulations! As soon as I fine him, the scoundrel, he will learn from me what a dog and other stray cattle mean! I’ll show him Kuzka’s mother!.. Eldyrin,” the warden turns to the policeman, “find out whose dog this is and draw up a report!” But the dog must be exterminated. Don't hesitate! She must be mad... Whose dog is this, I ask?

This seems to be General Zhigalov! - says someone from the crowd.

General Zhigalov? Hm!.. Take off my coat, Eldyrin... Horror, how hot it is! Probably before the rain... There’s only one thing I don’t understand: how could she bite you? - Ochumelov addresses Khryukin. - Will she reach her finger? She's small, but you look so healthy! You must have picked your finger with a nail, and then the idea came to your head to rip it off. You are... famous people! I know you, devils!

My tongue is my enemy! Martin Luther was right, oh, how right he was when he said: “To find out what kind of fruit is on a tree, you need to shake it.” In moments of shock, language is an especially clear barometer. Stop-stop-stop!!! From this point on, in more detail... What kind of barometer, what are we even talking about?

OK. Let's go in order.

So, the principle of the language. It is described best and in more detail in the Epistle of the Apostle James. I will not quote the entire biblical text - anyone can open the Bible and read it (James 3:1-12). But I advise you to pay close attention to the eighth verse: “but none of the people can tame the tongue: this is an uncontrollable evil.” Wow! Yes, this is great news! Since this activity is impossible (Jacob says this twice), therefore, it is worth stopping doing a useless activity, because repeating the same actions with the hope of a different result is a sign of madness. Take a deep breath and feel good - no need to fight your tongue! Due to inappropriate actions.

Jacob gives examples of horses and ships as illustrations, but we will not analyze these examples, because most people have little understanding of the management of ships and horses. Therefore, we will transfer everything to a more modern basis. KAMAZ! Great example! Modern Jacob would say this: “KAMAZ is a very heavy machine, it is impossible to stop or try to hold it. But KAMAZ is not independent! Its behavior on the roads depends on the driver. If the driver is normal, sober and respectable, everything is fine, KAMAZ is nobody’s business.” It won’t cause any harm, but if there’s a drunken maniac driving... Everyone, hang out!”

Gold words! And why does no one read them literally, just like other words of the same James: “Does sweet and bitter water flow from the same spring?”

Let's look at the sources. First, what is a source? As a geologist, I would say that this is a natural outlet for earth's surface groundwater. Those., what is inside under pressure pours out, as soon as he finds a suitable hole. Or a suitable occasion.

In other words, trying to curb the language, we are, as it were, trying to plug a hole in earth's crust. Meaning? What is under pressure inside will find another reason to come out. Therefore, it makes sense to pay attention to what is under pressure. Sweet or bitter water?

The question, therefore, comes down to replacing the internal content or state, as you prefer. What about the language? And language is not the enemy, it is just the voice of what is inside.

It’s simple - don’t struggle with the language, it’s better to take care of your brains, your worldview, your relationship with God, finally.

After all, words are secondary to thoughts. And man himself is what his thoughts are. And all our failures and misfortunes are nothing more than a signal that we are in disharmony with the world around us, and the reason for this is negative or simply useless thoughts wandering in our minds. And if we want to change our lives for the better, then we must first change our thinking. By changing our thinking, we will change ourselves, and as a result, the world around us.

What do we have to do? Listen to wise people:

1. Apostle Paul “Finally, my brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report, think about these things.”
2. Moses "Beware lest any wicked thought enter into your heart"
3. Yogis Beware of intemperance in thoughts. Watch your thoughts strictly. Having rejected everything bad in your thoughts, strive with pure thought for perfection."
4. I don’t know who, but it was very correctly confirmed: Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they turn into . Watch your habits, they shape your character. Watch your character, for it determines your destiny."
5. Marcus Aurelius "Our life is what our thoughts make it"

How can this be put into practice?