What is love for the opposite sex? Arguments from science and life. What is love - in your own words? What is love briefly and clearly

Throughout human history, people have asked the question: “What is love?” Many bright minds have tried to define a subtle ephemeral feeling. It can be considered to be a deep attachment to another person, being or thing. However, there is no clear formula that describes in detail its components and methods of expression. Philosophers and psychologists are still debating, trying to understand the essence of this mysterious feeling.

Everything is very serious

You can love everything: parents, friends, pets, food or weather. How often is this word pronounced? It has become so firmly entrenched in our minds that it has become quite natural to confess our feelings. At the same time, this is a rather serious concept that should not be devalued by a dismissive attitude towards it.

Love can be completely different. Everyone feels and manifests it according to their own inner world. Just as there are no two absolutely identical people, there cannot be a single definition of this feeling.

At the same time, it is simply vital. A person who is unable to treat loved ones with care and does not enjoy the joys of life cannot be considered a full-fledged person.

From happiness to despair

Each person perceives love differently and expresses it individually. Sometimes it brings suffering, sometimes happiness and unearthly bliss. Love is such a vivid feeling that it cannot manifest itself quietly and imperceptibly.

This feeling can be divided into several categories, in accordance with the objects for which strong feelings are experienced.

Types of love

Love of parents and children

It is unconditional, any parents love their child for who he is, regardless of his personal qualities. It is impossible to logically explain the strong bond between mother and child.

Love for the opposite sex

The feeling literally blinds and knocks you down. The brain ceases to logically perceive information regarding the object of passion. A person in love sees only countless advantages, endlessly admires and literally dissolves in his partner. This behavior is explained by a surge of hormones. However scientific theory does not explain why this particular person and not another evokes strong feelings.

For some, love moves forward; it’s as if they grow wings. Others are in constant anxiety and are painfully afraid of losing their other half, while they suffer terribly and do not enjoy what is happening. Unrequited love is perceived as especially tragic. It would seem that just recently you did not know this person and existed perfectly well; now life without him is of no value.

Painful relationships can lead to serious problems, sometimes requiring the help of specialists. Some people, especially at a young age, attempt suicide, all because of unrequited feelings.

Love for loved ones and friends

It arises in the process of life, communication, and interaction in a team. A person urgently needs to experience warm feelings and feel support from others. People related by blood and with common interests are able to become deeply attached to each other. Their relationship will be no less strong than love passions between representatives of the opposite sex. A person who has no friends is truly deprived of something serious and real; one can only feel sorry for him.

Love to motherland

People are capable of having deep feelings for the place where they were born. It cannot be vaccinated; a person simply feels the need, it is vital for him to be in an environment that is dear to him, where everything is familiar from childhood. People are capable of much if there is a real threat to their established world. History knows many feats performed in the name of the Motherland.

So what is it?

It is impossible to give a clear definition of love, no matter how much scientific works no matter what has been written, everyone decides for himself what this feeling is for him personally. You can be skeptical, disbelieve, and even laugh at people who show strong emotions. One thing can be said with confidence - love is present in life, it is simply necessary for normal existence. Feeling gives strength and brings out the best in a person.

However, there is a danger of a reverse process if it is rejected. All the same, this feeling is a manifestation of the best human qualities; it illuminates everything around with the light of goodness and happiness. It is necessary to take care of love, try to treat the world around you as best as possible, and it will definitely reciprocate, playing with bright colors.

Hello, dear readers!

To the question “What is love: briefly and clearly?” Most people expect to hear that love is a disease, a poison, an inexplicable attachment that passes over time. But from the height of 29 years of love, I want to say that I categorically disagree with this.

True love is, first of all, selfless service to your loved one and daily care. True love does not pass away, but grows over time, like a snowball that two lovers roll in front of them through their lives.

Over time you begin to understand that you you love your loved one, not because he has blue eyes or because he drives a car cool, but because he tenderly takes care of you and your children. AND “tenderly cares” just sounds so cute, but in fact this is a lot of difficult work.

And this is not just my opinion, based on my experience. In ancient times, people had a different understanding of what love is. Namely: by love they understood selfless service, and not the romance of relationships. That's why they missed many stages of love characteristic of our egoistic society- stages of grinding in, quarrels, self-affirmation . They immediately moved from the romantic stage to the service stage, and then, to the stage of true love.

To make my point clearer, let's consider what What is love from a psychological point of view? modern world . Let's consider 7 stages that every love goes through. Read this short article to the end and you will learn something new about love.

The 1st stage of love is falling in love.

Everyone knows the 1st stage for sure.- this is the so-called "candy-bouquet period." During this period, you do not notice any shortcomings in your lover. He seems perfect to you.

Stage 2 of love - addiction.

Some time passes and you are no longer so worried and do not admire your loved one so much. You begin to perceive it more adequately.

3rd stage of love - grinding in.

I will not be discovering America if I say that during the grinding process, most lovers begin their first quarrels. You yourself have probably gone through this stage. Here, I think, everything depends on the size of the ego of each of the lovers.

As you know, there are no people without shortcomings. It is at this stage that many begin to see only the shortcomings of their partner. There were shortcomings before, but simply at the stage of falling in love, thanks to the physiological and hormonal state, the lovers did not notice them.

It is at this stage that lovers most often break up. without ever knowing that the most interesting and most important stages of their love await them ahead. And a whole life ahead!

The 4th stage of love is the stage of patience.

Thanks to the patience stage (which can last several years for some), enduring to the end All inconveniences and even pain, lovers receive a reward - they move on to the next stage. The stage of service, when you understand that there is something more important than proving that you are right and defending your opinion.

The 5th stage of love is service.

At this stage, you get pleasure from selfless service, selfless care for your loved one. True love is not the desire to RECEIVE something from a partner, but the desire to serve each other.

The 6th stage of love is friendship.

The stage of service moves into the stage of friendship, when they have undergone all the adjustments, they feel good and comfortable together, they speak the same language, understand each other perfectly. You will be surprised to know what the next stage of friendship goes into.

Stage 7 - REAL love.

This is a real reward for those who have overcome all previous stages. You become one. It's as if you are connected by an invisible rubber band. Many studies show that people who have lived in love for many years even have synchronized heart rate, blood pressure, etc.

Such love is especially bright manifests itself in trouble when you are ready to give everything, even your life to save your loved one.

I assure you, this is not just my opinion based on my experience. Many famous philosophers and writers talk about this. Here are just a few quotes:

In ancient times, people did not spend so much time on the stage of quarrels, grinding, patience, because they understood love differently. Namely: as selflessness, as selfless service to each other, as friendship. This is true love. This is precisely what Cicero said above.

And if someone asks you what love is from a scientific point of view (philosophical) and what love is from a psychological point of view, you can safely answer that it is, first of all, tender friendship, the joy of daily service and caring for each other.

Write in the comments what do you think about these thoughts? Share your love story.

See you again on the blog pages. I wish you all love and joy!

Check out this awesome video. This simple secret needs to be passed on to children. Life is not like a journey, but like a dance! Fragment of a lecture by British philosopher Alan Watts “Why life is not like a journey”

Most poets, musicians, and artists created their brilliant works under the power of this serious feeling. Love does not obey the laws of reason and cannot have an empirical formula, but it undoubtedly exists. Let's try to understand this concept in more detail.

What distinguishes true love?

Love implies a storm of emotions and a vivid expression of feelings, so it is easy to confuse it with passion, addiction, habit, or strong sympathy. When consciousness is clouded by experiences, it is difficult to understand for sure what you feel for a particular person. Certain signs distinguish sublime feeling from all others. So, love is when you:

1. You want not only to receive, but also to give in return. That is, you enjoy giving your tenderness and affection to your partner, just as much as you enjoy receiving it.
2. You sincerely worry about the sorrows and failures of your other half, trying in every possible and impossible way to help. Flying in in the middle of the night with an armful of medicine when your loved one is sick is what love means.
3. You feel the need not only for intimacy, but also for spiritual intimacy. If, in addition to the desire to drag your partner into bed, you want to talk with him about intimate things and get his opinion on secret, exciting issues, do not hesitate - this is it.
4. You don’t pay attention to your partner’s financial condition. It’s not for nothing that a popular proverb says that with a sweetheart there is heaven in the hut.
5. You trust your other half as you trust yourself. Suspicion and hiding problems cannot be an indicator of sincere feelings.
6. You respect a person without trying to make him fit your standards. On the contrary, you admire his excellent views on life and try to understand his inner world.
7. You strive to please. If, when buying a cake in a store, you think that it would be nice to take a second one to treat your partner, most likely you love your other half.
8. Making joint plans for the future. What kind of love can there be without dreams of a wedding and children, or at least a last minute trip to the sea?
9. You don’t focus on a person’s shortcomings. What is love? It's not just about being content positive qualities partner, but also accept him as he is.
10. You want happiness, regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not. Selfless love is what this feeling is. One can only dream of such an attitude towards oneself.

If you briefly describe in your own words what true love for a person is, the definition will surprise you with its simplicity - it is a feeling of deep heartfelt affection. Sounds very warm, doesn't it? Psychology interprets the definition of love scientifically. This is a happy relationship based on three aspects - moral, emotional and physical.

In general, if a person truly loves, then he is unlikely to ask questions about how to understand it. He will simply begin to experience this deep feeling and realize that he has fallen in love.

5 stages of love development

Many people idealize love, thinking that if they have found their soul mate, then there should be no problems. And when difficulties arise in a relationship, they run away from them, perhaps forever losing the chance to be truly needed. Such mistakes can be avoided if you know the main stages of true love:

1. Developing sympathy. You just met, and plump Cupid flew over you, making a well-aimed shot. This is where the big feeling begins. At this time, you fly without wings, even gloomy weather seems incredibly romantic to you, and a smile never leaves your lips. Endorphins in the blood do not allow you to think with your head, and your heart beats faster.
2. Making a pair. You have already gotten used to each other slightly and feel comfort and tenderness while spending time together. At the same time, you begin to understand your partner well, literally at a glance.
3. Addiction. You already feel your soul mate, as they say, in your heart. Can't imagine life without her. Your status has long been known to all friends and family. Everything goes smoothly and as usual. Often at this stage the decision to start a family comes.
4. Disappointment. It is possible that you are already a family or have just been together for a long time. Eyes are opened to many nuances of the character of the second half. As if under a magnifying glass, shortcomings increase to unrealistic sizes. You don’t understand where the person you were so in love with went to, and you think about the correctness of the choice you once made. Not all couples can maintain a relationship while in this phase of development.
5. Conflicts. Patience runs out, and the participants in the love relationship begin to make claims against each other. In such difficult times, partners often decide to divorce. But then they can walk along the rake all their lives, never skipping over the difficult stages of relationships in the name of the cherished happy apotheosis.
6. Work on mistakes. Heroes who have experienced the fourth and fifth stages of love begin to understand that nothing is given in this world for nothing. And they try to change, adapt, smooth out rough edges. The wisdom of the years lived together brings the participants in a love relationship closer to their most important stage.
7. Unconditional love. At this stage, having gone through all the thorns and obstacles, you will finally find what all couples in the world strive for. Your relationship has become strong and tempered thanks to all the difficulties. Together you went through fire and water and became one. Even if for some reason one of the participants did not want to stay in the couple, the other one can easily let go of love. After all, the last stage assumes that the partner is happy. Whether with you or not, it doesn’t matter anymore. The main thing for him is that you are happy.

What kind of feeling is love? There is so much one has to go through to reach romantic nirvana. Indeed, the more difficult the test, the sweeter the reward. But this is not all that can be said about love. This blissful feeling can have varieties that are very interesting to observe in everyday life.

What kind of love is there?

In the world, it is customary to classify and put everything into shelves. Even such a conventional concept as love has been subject to analysis since the time Ancient Greece. The well-known philosopher Aristotle divided this feeling into six types:

1. Eros is sensual love that evokes romantic feelings and attraction in partners. Often, against the backdrop of such sensations, partners are capable of reckless actions.
2. Ludus is love-game arising from animal instincts. Roughly speaking, this is simply a mutual desire for sex, flirting, reminiscent of frivolous infatuation.
3. Storge is family love, based on care and devotion. TO this species The strongest feelings on earth include the affection of parents for children, warm relationships between brothers and sisters, as well as close friends.
4. Pragma is lasting love, tested over the years and through everyday adversity. Here, mutual respect and care come first, and only then everything else, like physical contact.
5. Agape is a selfless, selfless feeling. This is what the well-known sacrificial love is. The partner gives himself completely to his soul mate. It's great if this affection is mutual.
6. Mania is a feeling of obsession. An unhealthy attraction to a partner completely turns off the common sense of the lover. It's scary to think what a feeling like sick love can do to the victim of this situation. Without finding reciprocity, people sometimes do crazy things.

This is the fundamental classification of love. But each feeling is unique, thanks to the participants in the relationship, the prevailing circumstances and outside influences.

In a more modern interpretation by the German sociologist and philosopher Erich Fromm, love could be like this:

• erotic – between a man and a woman;
• fraternal - the ideal of relationships based on mutual respect and care between people;
• maternal - with her desire to give;
• egoistic - self-love, which is certainly necessary for building rational relationships;
• love for God.

Fromm argued that the ability to experience this deep feeling is not given to us a priori. Love must be learned, and acquiring this skill is a sign of maturity.

In addition to philosophical categories, there are also exciting concepts. For example, first love - what is it? Everyone who experienced this amazing feeling still remembers those moments. But most often, first relationships do not last long. What is unrequited love? Why does she come into our lives? How painful it can be to see the object of your desires who doesn’t even look in your direction. So, nothing comes into our lives by chance, especially the most sublime feeling in the world. Of course, we need to strive for “Agape” or “Pragma”. But you also need to go through all the other steps and thank fate for the lessons taught. Everything that happens makes us stronger.

Love is a subject of debate among scientists from the fields of philosophy, psychology, physiology and other sciences. This is a question that has not lost relevance over the years for experienced married couples.

If you conduct a survey of the population regarding this phenomenon, then, most likely, the majority of answers will be from the category: "Love is when..." That is, when talking about her, we always turn to the heart, describing the different sensations that we experience when we love. How else? After all, no matter what they say, love is a feeling, and certainly no one will argue with that. Let's try to further explain what love is in our own words.

Love in different sciences

In short, love is a feeling of deep sympathy for another person or object. There is always an interest in who (what) you love, a desire to take care of him, to give something to him and devote his time.

Biological interpretation

Each science has its own approach to the study of love. Chemists and biologists claim that it is based on ordinary processes occurring in the human body. In particular, anthropologists have found that during the period of passionate love, dopamine is produced, which allows one to experience pleasure and gives a feeling of satisfaction. In addition, being in this state reduces the feeling of fear and suppresses negative emotions due to the impact on the corresponding areas of the brain.

There is also a theory that we are attracted to each other by smell, which we are not consciously aware of.

The evolutionary concept indicates that love acts as a survival tool because it helps maintain long-term relationships, unite and support each other, and resist threats.

Psychology

In psychology, there are several definitions of love and concepts regarding its nature that try to explain what love is.

Love, from the point of view of this science, is highest degree an emotionally positive attitude towards the object, placing it at the center of one’s own interests and needs. It is also a strong, persistent feeling caused by sexual needs. A loving person strives to take a key role in the life of the object of affection in order to arouse his interest and reciprocal sympathy.

According to the psychologist R. Sternberg, love includes three components:

• passion(sexual attraction);
• intimacy(closeness, emotional support, help, trust);
• obligations(loyalty to each other).

And Freud answered the question, what is love? In classical psychoanalysis Z. Freud love reflects exclusively sexual attraction, which is a powerful stimulus for human development.

E. Fromm distinguishes two types of love: fruitful And unfruitful.

• The first is expressed in the manifestation of interest, care, and involves inspiration, pleasure, knowledge of each other and self-development. This is mature love based on mutual respect.
• The second - unfruitful love - is associated with the presence of strict control over another person, the desire to completely possess him. This is immature selfish love. It does not lead to mutual development, but, on the contrary, destroys it. Such relationships are usually filled with various negative feelings.

According to A.V. Petrovsky, love is based on intimate attraction and is characterized by external manifestations of this feeling in relation to another person, the desire to evoke reciprocal love for oneself. It must contain openness and trust. There is no place for lies in it.

E. Hatfield highlights passionate love(sexual desire and emotional outbursts) and compassionate(based on common interests and values, friendship, pleasant joint communication and mutual support). The ideal development of relationships is the transition of passionate love into compassionate love.

From the definitions listed above, we see that everyone has a different answer to what love is. However, all the answers complement each other and have something in common.

Love, infatuation, passion, affection: what are the differences?

Of course, all these concepts are intertwined and it is not always possible to set clear boundaries between them. But there are still significant differences.

Love and passion

Passion involves a sudden onset of sexual attraction to a member of the opposite sex. It proceeds violently, is filled with strong emotions and requires immediate release. Passion is often initial stage love relationships, but can also accompany them for a long time, flaring up in certain situations.

Passion is possible without love; it arises only between sexual partners with the aim of satisfying sexual desire.

Love is a broader and more multifaceted phenomenon. It can be felt towards a husband (wife), a child, a parent, a friend, a pet, a country, and humanity as a whole. Therefore, love without passion is also quite common.

Love and infatuation

When asking the question what love is, one must not forget about falling in love. Falling in love is almost always the beginning of a romantic relationship. It involves the rapid emergence of feelings and sexual desire. Very often falling in love is based on external attractiveness. Unlike passion, it may not be as intense and all-consuming and is usually longer lasting and more sublime. This is what first love is usually like, which often ends at the stage of falling in love.

Falling in love is more superficial and less conscious than love. There may still be no community of interests, mutual support and respect. Ideally, as the relationship develops, falling in love should smoothly turn into love.

The significant difference between these phenomena is that when we fall in love, we idealize the image of the object of our sympathy, unconsciously strengthen the aspects of his personality that we desire, and do not notice his shortcomings. We love in it what “hooked” us and what we came up with ourselves. Over time, this image changes, and if we are disappointed and do not find other values ​​in a person, then the relationship ends. If we find new interesting sides in each other, get closer spiritually, then a new stage in their development begins - love.

Unlike falling in love, love does not imply idealization of each other and self-deception. By loving, we accept another person as he is, with all his strengths and weaknesses.

Love and affection

Love and affection are quite often in a close union, and the longer the relationship lasts, the stronger this union. But they should not be confused, since it often happens that there seems to be no love between a man and a woman, but the attachment is strong.

A loving person always feels freer than someone who is simply attached to someone. Attachment is distinguished by such features as: dependence on another person, fear of losing him, the habit of being close to him, which is expressed something like this: “I absolutely cannot imagine life without him.”

Attachment is a more passive phenomenon than love. People may not show their feelings in any way, they are simply ready to be there and tolerate each other. Love presupposes active relationships: spiritual and physical intimacy, care and mutual support, joint leisure, personal development of each other.

In attachment, personal boundaries are often erased; a person seems to dissolve in his partner. And the one who loves never loses his “I” and inner freedom. Loving people respect each other's personal space and interests.

How to distinguish love from affection? What is love and dependence.

It is the union of love and affection that always has a positive effect on relationships, giving both a feeling of security, reliability and calm. The main thing is that everyone experiences true happiness when being around each other.

Types of love

Since ancient times, love has been divided into several types depending on how and in relation to whom it is manifested.

Who do we love?

• Love for a romantic partner (boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife) suggests falling in love and passion as components of sexual satisfaction. Over time, they cease to dominate and give way (but they themselves do not completely go away) to other qualities of love: respect, mutual support, devotion, empathy. Romantic love is important biological significance, creating and maintaining favorable conditions for procreation.

What is love for a man? First of all, this is a guarantor of a stable relationship, the opportunity to take care of a fragile and sweet chosen one, to be a knight next to her, to admire her and the fear of losing her. Also, love for men is expressed in a comfortable and cozy atmosphere in the family, regular and interesting sex and respect for personal space.

• Self love is expressed in self-understanding, self-acceptance, adequate self-esteem and satisfaction with one’s own personality. Self-love serves as the basis for other types of love, because if we are constantly dissatisfied with ourselves and experience internal discomfort, then we cannot fully give sincere love to others and attract people to ourselves. Therefore, one of the most universal tips for creating and improving various kinds of relationships is to establish, first of all, contact with yourself and begin to respect yourself.
• Love for children based on mutual affection, caring, tenderness towards the child, the ability to sacrifice one’s interests for the sake of his health and development. The stronger the contribution to upbringing, the more trusting and warmer the parent-child relationship, the more harmoniously the child’s personality develops.

Mother's and father's love are different. Mother and child are connected biologically and socially (as they were one before birth). Father and child have only a social connection. In this sense, the mother has greater experience in knowing and understanding the baby. It is usually more difficult for a father to grasp his needs; he tends to use his mind (but this tendency is by no means characteristic of everyone).

• Love for parents is based on attachment, which was formed in infancy, and on gratitude for care and upbringing.
• Love for people, which in action is called altruism. This is selfless help to everyone around, self-sacrifice for the sake of others. A person experiencing such love is always ready to do charity.

Stages of love

This feeling is always in development and goes through a number of stages from the moment it arises.

Signs that a person is in love

How do you understand that this strong feeling has come? Usually a person changes both physically and psychologically.

1. He begins to pay more attention to his appearance, because he wants to look more attractive in order to provoke a response from the object of his love.
2. He smiles and tries to maintain eye contact with the person he is in love with.
3. When meeting a loved one, you may experience anxiety, which is sometimes difficult to hide (redness of the skin, trembling in the limbs, etc.)
4. When communicating, he tries to shorten the distance and wants to touch.
5. The desire to constantly be near the beloved: looking for a meeting, writing, calling. He tries to remind himself in any way.
6. Behavior can change dramatically. A person can suddenly change habits, become interested in new activities, etc.
7. He strives to take care of the one he loves: he sacrifices his own interests and time, he wants to do something nice.
8. Ready to constantly talk about who he loves among friends and girlfriends.
9. He is interested in everything that his love object lives (facts from the biography, hobbies, preferences, etc.)
10. She sincerely shares her thoughts, emotions, and talks about herself.

Love is always interesting in all its aspects and manifestations. But no matter how much we talk about it, we can understand what it is only when we ourselves experience this feeling. Love and take care of your relationship if your inner voice tells you that “here it is - true love has come!”

Is it possible to love two?! Polygamy. Monogamy.

The fact that in the history of humankind no one has been able to find a formula for love says a lot. Why do people fall in love? Is it possible to calculate feelings and make someone truly love you? Of course not. Love is something that happens. It has many flavors and shades.

It is difficult to determine exactly what this feeling is. One thing is clear: it manifests itself differently for everyone. For example, men and women experience reality differently. This means that each of us puts our own understanding into the word “love”.

Explanation for men

For a man, this is admiration for his woman, the desire to protect her and protect her from problems. This is why your loved one, upon hearing a complaint about a problem, will want to solve it immediately. There is a request - there must be an answer. This is a man's position.

In addition, love for a man is not the limit of the world. He can calmly build a career or achieve success in society, without thinking at all about the need to create relationships.

Explanation for women

For a woman, this is her whole world. She strives to be closer to her chosen one, bask in his attention and constantly feel the world through the prism of their relationship.

Such “intrusiveness” can bore a man, therefore, it is important for a woman to be able to keep her distance, showing love the way her loved one wants to receive it. Through acceptance and faith in him.

For children

Children see the world much more simply than adults. They look around carefully, sometimes revealing things that adults don’t think about.

For example, about the importance of taking care of each other (Mom loves Dad, so she irons shirts every day) or acceptance (I don’t have enough teeth in my mouth, but I’m not embarrassed to smile because my friends still love me). Simple truths, but how interesting they sound from children’s lips!

Brief and clear examples (reasonings) from life

There are many examples of real feeling in life:

One man came every day to his wife, who had lost her memory, to get to know her again and again. When he was asked: “Why are you doing this, she doesn’t remember you?” He replied: “But I remember her.”

The girl stayed with the guy, despite the fact that he was seriously injured and the doctors promised him an existence confined to a wheelchair. However, his beloved’s faith gave him strength, and he overcame his illness.

And there are quite a lot of examples. But these are global stories. Much more often love manifests itself in small things:

• brewed coffee and a warm bun early in the morning;
• bringing an umbrella in the pouring rain;
• call late in the evening and one single question: “How did you get there?”;
• meeting late at night at the airport in another city.

It's the little things that make up true, lasting love.

Does it exist at all? - Love?

If such a question has settled in your heart, then you have been burned in a relationship. Think: maybe what you took for a real, strong feeling was a hobby? So is it worth giving up everything because of him?

Love exists! And it permeates the history of mankind. How many films have been made about it, how many books have been written... This topic never leaves people’s lips. Which means it is true.

Don't close your heart

Let Love happen... And when this feeling fills you again from your heels to the top, surrender to the flow, feeling the fullness of life! And then real happiness will come to you.

Be happy!