Do you want your wishes to come true? Then we reduce the importance. What is over-importance and how can it be reduced? Fulfillment of desires in love and reduction of importance

Before we move on to the actual ways to reduce importance, let's define what it is. As life shows, everyone suffers from overestimation from time to time, but not everyone knows WHAT it is, not to mention the fact that everyone has the opportunity to reduce this importance on their own and get the desired results faster and without wasting nerve cells.

So, IMPORTANCE- this is how important (significant, weighty, significant) something seems to you.

When we place too much importance on something, it causes imbalance. It appears in the form:

increased nervousness, anxiety, worries, doubts about the result;
constantly scrolling through thoughts of various outcomes of an event (and, surprisingly, negative outcomes significantly prevail over positive and desirable ones);
impatience;
vanity (meaningless and annoying in itself);
uncertainty about a successful outcome, although you did everything right;
underestimation of one's capabilities;
and ultimately, unconscious acceptance of failure.

In such cases, life itself will reduce this importance in any way. For example, if you have a goal, and you “run around like crazy” with it (that is, it is very important to you), life itself will prevent you from achieving it. In these cases, those around you say: “Don’t worry, let the situation go.” But it’s easy to say, but here’s HOW to do it. It turns out it’s also simple, you just have to learn it. Therefore, a person who wants to achieve his goals, be confident in success and be able to remain calm, simply needs to have a few simple and effective ways decreasing importance. (You can find out more about the importance on the internet, ask a question in a search engine).

In fact, there are many such ways. Below are all the methods that I have been able to collect to date. There are many of them and they are very different. Therefore, you can choose those that you like and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, will really help you reduce your importance. I think that, over time, the piggy bank will be replenished.

So save the link to this page - in case you feel that your importance is raising its head or rising to its full height, go straight here. With such an arsenal of ways to reduce importance and let go of the situation, no importance will even dare to peek out from under the plinth.

And by the way, if you have your own way of reducing importance, send it to my mailbox. I'll definitely post it here. This will be your contribution to this piggy bank and to the peace of all humanity.

Method 1. Backup option.

In any situation, you must have a “plan B”. It's easy to do. It is enough to answer the question: “What will I do if I do not achieve this goal or the event does not happen?” Having a backup option greatly reduces the importance. And if you also stock up on “plan C” and “plan D”, then this will completely squash the importance of the moment.

Method 2. Switching attention I.

Thinking about the results greatly increases the importance, because turning over possible options in your head will inevitably lead to doubts and worries. Even simply thinking about a future result significantly delays the time for its implementation. This method is very simple - DO NOT THINK about the result, throw any thoughts about it out of your head. Switch to something else completely. It could be interesting books or movies, pleasant communication, physical or intellectual activity and much more. If you still can’t escape your thoughts, use the following method.

Focus on WHAT needs to be done to achieve the desired result, and on the actions themselves. Constantly control your thoughts and don’t let them jump to the result. Your entire consciousness should be occupied only with what and how you need to do.

Method 4. Modeling and analysis of complex situations.

If the inflated importance is associated with your behavior when communicating with other people, then you can reduce it with simple mental modeling. Imagine a future situation and play it out in your head - how you will behave there, what you will say and respond to the other person, what you will do in case of surprises, etc. Pay special attention to the moments where difficulties begin for you, and analyze why they arise. Think over different options for your behavior and play the situation several times until you find an option that suits you completely. When we do something for the first time, the importance can be overwhelming due to the novelty of what is happening. Think about examples from your life. When we do what is familiar and familiar to us, and are confident in the result and in our abilities, no anxiety arises.

Method 5. Magic ritual of letting go of the situation.

I’ll make a reservation right away. There is no magic in this method. But despite its simplicity and peculiar “childishness,” it can be called magical because of its high efficiency. It can be used in several ways.

Ver.1. - Visualization.

Close your eyes and imagine filling a balloon with the energy of your goal, desired outcome, or desire. Color and size - choose as you wish. Tie the ball with a nice ribbon and release it. Watch as it flies higher and higher, turns into a dot and disappears. Know that he went to meet opportunities.

Var.2 - Real actions.

If you don't like to visualize, or want real sensations, buy a balloon filled with helium. Write your goal on a piece of paper and attach it to the balloon. Next, do the same thing in real life as in the previous version it was suggested to do it in your imagination.

Ver.3 - Ritual(for those who need it thoroughly and with 100% success)

Success Balloon:

This magical rite came from China. It has a magical aura that will help you achieve success in whatever you want. In China, wishes were sent by air in the hope that the message would reach the deity. This magical atmosphere is aimed at personal success, fortune and happiness.

What should be done:

Wait for a windy day.
Find a hill or other high, open area.
Take a green ball and tie a long ribbon to it.
When you walk out onto the hill, grab the end of the ribbon and think about the changes in your life and the desires that you want to achieve through this ritual.
For each wish you make, tie a knot on the ribbon.
Imagine that your energy is passing into the ball through the ribbon, and from there into the open sky.
Run around with the ball, thinking about your desires.
Stop at a place where you feel comfortable and walk six circles clockwise.
When finished, untie the knots you tied and release the ball, watching it until it disappears from sight.

Soon your dreams of achieving success will come true.

Method 6. Literal actions. (Simoron)

This is rather not a method, but a group of methods based on the literal understanding of the words “reducing importance”, “removing importance”, “letting go of the situation”. Despite the apparent absurdity, their effectiveness is sometimes much higher than that of the above methods combined.

You can remove importance by actually taking something off yourself: a ring, a headdress, a scarf, shoes... Tested - it works, especially when communicating with the opposite sex)))))
You can get yourself an envelope or box to reduce the importance. Take an envelope, sign it “FOR REDUCING IMPORTANCE” and put everything there that needs to be reduced in importance (you can write your goals on a piece of paper, you can take photographs if the goal is material). Be creative as you please, the main thing is that it works.
Take a ruler (an ordinary school ruler), or make an Importance Scale yourself out of cardboard, write the word “IMPORTANCE” on it, attach to it an indicator of your importance at the very top. great importance scales (for example, a clothespin). Then you begin to gradually move the indicator to lower values ​​until you reach “0,” saying something like “My importance is decreasing and now its value is 20, or 15, or 5.” When you reach zero, say “The importance of [your event] to me is zero.” Listen to yourself. You must internally agree with yourself. If not, it means you were in a hurry somewhere, set the indicator to a value you can agree with and continue the gradual decrease. Only gradually, if you hit zero right away, it may not only not decrease, but even go off scale.
You can take pictures of importance with a camera or camera. Use the zoom in/out feature.
Write “Importance of (your event or goal)” on a piece of paper and place it in a candy or shoe box. You can first decorate the box in the style of your desire (relationships - hearts, finances - images of coins and banknotes). Now bring your importance down to the floor. Below the baseboard!))) Calm down and get it out of your head. And if you look at the box, say to yourself: “The importance has been reduced to below the plinth.” Your smile is guaranteed. And these are the most main way decreasing importance.

See below.

Method 7. The most important and serious method is HUMOR.

Humor is the very denial of importance, a caricature of importance. If you are able to laugh KINDLY at yourself, your goal, your life and at others, then no inflated importance threatens you.

An alternative to this method is to bring a goal or situation to the point of absurdity. Exaggerate it so much or add such elements that the picture ceases to be realistic, but becomes comical. The successful use of this method will be indicated by a feeling of lightness and confidence in the result.

Method 8. Purely mechanical.

Very often, excessive importance is expressed on a physical and emotional level in the form of tension. This method helps to remove stress and relax.

Take a pen and paper and write down your desire or your goal, repeating it many times. For example - “I want a house in the village, I want a house in the village, I want a house in the village, I want a house in the village, etc., etc.” Write until you feel a release of tension within yourself. Often it becomes somehow calm, you may even want to sleep, sometimes it’s as if something is “burning out” inside. All this is very clearly felt - I just don’t want to write anymore, that’s all. Or suddenly you want to do something, eat, sometimes cry, or just get bored...

Don’t throw away the leaf, don’t burn it, just hide it out of sight. One subtlety is important here - to stop in time, not to reach the feeling of nausea. This is very important, if you feel unwell, it means you went too far with prescribing, you deleted not only your emotional stress, but also desire itself. In this case it may not come true. As soon as you feel a decrease in tension and feel lightness, stop writing!

(I tested this method on myself (like everyone else) and I can say that with its help, not only the importance is reduced, but also fresh ideas for achieving the goal appear much easier and faster. Moreover, the feeling is that these ideas were on the surface, I looked at them, but didn’t see them. This is quite understandable. Tension and importance distract from the goal, obscurities clog up thinking. If only for this reason, you need to be able to get rid of them).

Relationships with your beloved man will fail if you attach too much importance to them. This is the law. If a crack has already appeared in feelings and relationships, then in order to preserve them it is worth reducing the importance of what you want, that is, letting go of the situation and not thinking about the bad. “Popular about health” will tell you how to do this in practice.

Why you shouldn't think about bad things?

Just recently you were happy, love completely absorbed your entire being, but now everything has changed - a chill, understatement, discontent, and resentment have appeared in the relationship. The situation is heating up every day, a break is close. If you feel this way, then it's time to stop thinking about the bad.

Negative thoughts certainly materialize, that is, they turn into events that happen to us. Thinking about breaking up brings it closer. Experiences, according to the theory of reality transurfing, are pendulums that bring chaos into our lives and prevent us from being happy. We fuel their hesitation with our emotions. The more we think about the bad, worry, suffer, the more the destructive pendulum swings. If your goal is to maintain a relationship with a man, stop thinking about the bad and feeding the pendulum.

How to stop worrying and worrying if bad thoughts constantly creep into your head? Use a simple but effective method - talk to your chosen one. It may be possible to find out who is dissatisfied with what or dispel doubts. If this option is not possible, write your experiences on a piece of paper, putting your energy there, and then burn it. After this, it will certainly become easier, because bad thoughts will be destroyed before your eyes.

How to reduce importance in a relationship with a man?

Vadim Zeland recommends reducing the importance of our desires so that they come true faster. This rule applies in any area of ​​life. Surely you have noticed that what we strongly desire, we impatiently wait for, are in no hurry to be fulfilled, various obstacles arise, etc. If we attach too much importance to something, then most of the energy is wasted on experiences, and therefore on swinging the destructive pendulum. It will never be possible to achieve the fulfillment of a desire if the importance is too high. The same is true in a relationship with a man - impatience, irrepressible passion, too strong a desire to be near him, to possess him will certainly lead to a deterioration in the relationship.

* You will die?
* Will you get an incurable disease?
*Will you feel calm?
* What will you do without this man?

Usually, after such tricky questions asked to oneself, it becomes obvious that a specific person is not so important, because life without him will continue, nothing will happen. As soon as you manage to realize that the main thing in your life is you, and not him, the importance in the relationship will decrease a little. This will allow you to direct your energy in the right direction - to maintaining valuable relationships, and not swinging harmful pendulums.

The same advice applies to women who are trying to find the man of their dreams. Passionate desire and constant thoughts about where to find it will not lead to the desired result, they will only get in the way. Thoughts about bad things - about loneliness, for example, also do not bode well. They will certainly materialize. How to be? Focus on yourself, setting the goal of getting married successfully. By engaging in self-improvement and your appearance, you will not only distract yourself from negative thoughts, but also let go of desire and reduce its importance. Then it will certainly come true.

How to let go of a situation in a relationship with a man?

What to do if the relationship is not going well, and the man is about to leave? Let go of the situation. Let's give an example. Imagine that you grabbed a man by the throat, not allowing him to even move. Is this approach really going to help keep him?

On the contrary, this situation will lead to the victim starting to defend himself, break free and fight back. The same thing happens in relationships. Persuasion, persecution, restriction of freedom will have the opposite effect.

If you want to improve your relationship, you should show love, but not put pressure on your loved one or limit his freedom of action. Let go of the situation, in other words, trust the Universe, give the solution to the issue to it, being confident that everything will work out in the best possible way. Having learned to let go of problems in relationships, you will become free from worries, resentments, disappointments, and everything in your life will work out in such a way that you will be happy.

What conclusions can be drawn from our discussion?:

* You cannot attach too much importance to relationships and your loved one.
* It is unacceptable to focus on the bad - on separation, fear of loneliness, misunderstanding, resentment.
* You need to learn to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man, trusting the Universe.

Tafti the priestess is a bright character with strong charisma, not fictional, but in fact existing in one of the realities, of which there are a great many in the Universe. If you are not yet familiar with her and the Knowledge of the New Time that the priestess carries, we invite you to learn more about Tafti.

Tafti is at the same time strong and feminine, beautiful and unusual, daring and flirtatious, straightforward and sometimes playful - and this is her uniqueness. Her image attracts precisely with its contrasts, powerful energy and sincerity. She combines all those qualities that have been inherent in real women for centuries, the ones whom poets sang and at whose feet the most powerful men of the era laid down kingdoms, palaces and hearts.

Some people categorically dislike Tafti, others admire her - but she does not leave anyone indifferent. Tufte teaches us to set absolutely any reality for ourselves, but today we won’t talk about that. Are you wondering what Tufte would say to women? What advice would you give to those who want to be as bright and attractive as her?

WHY DO SOME WOMEN LOOK TIRED AND ANNOYED, WHILE OTHERS LOOK FULL OF STRENGTH, BEAUTY, ENERGY AND LIGHT?

Often the same reality becomes completely gloomy and joyless for one woman - and a holiday for another. Even under other equal conditions and circumstances of life, one girl is always in high spirits, in harmony and at peace with herself. And the other one complains about life, blames others for her problems, is always nervous, irritated and pushes herself into limits, completely exhausting herself both mentally and physically.

What is the reason? In your inner state. The truth is that reality can be both aggressive and unfriendly for you, and “okay”, bright and warm. In the same desert, some suffer from thirst and sandstorms, while others enjoy cool, clear water from a spring and juicy tropical fruits in an oasis.

Only you can choose whether to live among the sand dunes or in a paradise oasis. Everything is determined by your mood and state. Tufti calls it a new term - “Lada”. Lada, says the priestess, is, first of all, harmony. Pleasure, delight, life in peace and harmony. If you love life, life will turn its best side towards you and become Lada. If you love yourself, you will begin to live every day with pleasure.

Think about it: what attracts you to your idols, movie or music stars, people you admire? Most likely, it is this state of celebration, success, beauty, charm, pleasure. Experiencing these states, you yourself begin to emit inner light and become a magnet for those around you, who are subconsciously drawn to your energy and to the holiday around you. They are attracted to Lada.

And our Reality itself also reaches out to Lada. With those who radiate it, she becomes kind and generous. But she doesn’t like people who often feel dissatisfied and irritated.

PRINCIPLE OF FRAMES. VIDEO WITH TATYANA SAMARINA

HOW TO RADIATE LADA?

Being in a state of Lada is just a habit that you can consciously develop day after day. As Tufte advises:

“Look for pleasure in any little things, and you will find it. Arrange a holiday for any occasion, and you will have a holiday. Create a fertile, light atmosphere in yourself and around you” (“Tafti the priestess. Walking live in a movie”, Vadim Zeland).

A holiday is something that is inside of you. It starts with the little things. From a leisurely breakfast and a cup of aromatic brewed tea while reading a good book. With a friendly smile for a random passerby. The enthusiasm with which you take on your work. Yes, from anything! If only the sun shines inside you, the birds sing and the roses bloom. Gradually this will be reflected in both your appearance and your reality, transforming them for the better!

Love yourself. Love the people around you and treat them kindly. Treat your world with the same kindness, no matter what it looks like for you now. Even if it is still gloomy and cold. This is the only way you can win him over and make him more pleasant and friendly for you, full of love, surprises and gifts!

Create a positive atmosphere intentionally, consciously. Get yourself into this habit. Tufti claims that this is generally one of the most good habits for everyone who wants to control their reality or set it for themselves.

“By radiating pleasure, love, comfort and celebration, and in general and more precisely Lada, you attract people to you, and at the same time a successful reality. People are drawn to the lucky ones who know how to radiate Lada” (“Tafti the priestess. Walking live in a movie”, Vadim Zeland).

Publisher: Gaya - June 24, 2019

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Everyone knows what ordinary strength is - willpower and physical strength. This is what allows us to achieve goals and get what we want, moving on internal intention. This is the most difficult, resource-intensive and long path, far from the principles of Transurfing and Tufte, however, for those who are especially persistent and purposeful people, not sparing themselves and their strength, he works. Such a force acts exclusively from the material side of the mirror, which we see and which many consider the only possible reality.

WHAT IS THE META-POWER THAT TAFTI MENTIONS SO OFTEN?

However, you and I know that our world is dual, and in addition to its visible part, there is also a reverse side - immaterial, metaphysical. So Metaforce is, in turn, the reverse side of force, its antipode, which acts precisely in this immaterial reality.

Metaforce is difficult to imagine, difficult to describe in words, but as soon as you feel it, feel it inside yourself, everything will immediately become clear and very simple. The only question is to awaken, feel and develop this power in yourself. The braid of intention will help us here - the weapon of Metapower. And the algorithm for highlighting the target frame itself is a powerful exercise for the development of Metapower.

HOW TO AWAKEN THE METAPOWER IN YOURSELF?

Firstly, work with the intention braid as often as possible and highlight target frames, at least 2-3 times a day.

Secondly, when everything works out for you, when you realize your goal and get what you want, catch this feeling of victory, remember it and keep it inside yourself. This feeling of “I can create anything!” – and there is the presence of Metaforce.

Thirdly, you can carry out a special internal adjustment, for example, through working with energy messages and thought forms: “I can do anything!”, “I create a new reality for myself”, “I rise into my Power!”, “I am a luminous creature".

Unfortunately, many “normal” people have blocked access to Metapower, and they do not use their birth-given ability to define reality. Only a few are able to use the knowledge of Transurfing and Tufte intuitively, without special techniques and preparation, realizing their intentions “as if by magic.”

But if you are not one of them, there is no need to be upset: this is exactly what we are here for: we practice, perform techniques, learn to control attention and work with a braid, awaken Metapower in ourselves and gradually regain our lost abilities - the ability to move reality !

Access to Metapower can be unlocked through daily practice with the braid of intention. You can highlight target frames not only from your global goals, but also set “everyday” reality, for example, a free parking space, successful negotiations, or the availability of the desired goods in the store.

THE MAIN PRINCIPLE OF HOW TO FEEL METAPOWER

“The secret is that it (Metapower) should not be applied, but connected. You do not directly do anything, but only indirectly contribute and watch how it is done. You don’t force it, but you allow it to do itself.”

Indirectly, the author of the book “Tafti the Priestess” clarifies. Walking around live in a movie” means indirectly, with the help of a braid. Metaforce turns on as if apart from you, on its own. You don't have to make an effort and act on your inner intention.

All you need is detachment and concentration at the same time. There should be no excessive volitional efforts. You focus on the target frame from a relaxed state. Like a surfer who rides the waves: he is at the same time collected, but not pinned, he does not make much effort, he simply chooses the waves and stays on them.

“You need to activate the braid and enter a kind of trance, where you are focused, and at the same time relaxed, detached” (Vadim Zeland).

This works on the same principle as the Zen one-palm clap. You are present and absent at the same time. You are here and you are not. You want, but you don't crave. You have the intention, but you don’t demand it. You are the initiator and you are a bystander. You don't so much do it as watch how everything happens on its own. You don't force reality into submission, you simply allow it to happen.

When you manage to achieve such a state, to catch this feeling, your access to Metapower will be unlocked, and you will awaken it in yourself!

PRACTICE TO ACTIVATE THE METASOWER “STAND INTO YOUR POWER!”

The power of your Soul should not be wasted. You are able to regain your Power, here and now. How to do it? There is a very simple but effective practice. Its main secret lies in proper configuration. You must first of all feel 100% knowledge, firm confidence that you CAN do it.

It all begins with deep confidence in one’s own Power, in one’s right as the Creator. However, many people, being in the tenacious clutches of the System, under the pressure of the current scenario, driven into rigid boundaries, experience great difficulties - they do not believe in themselves, do not believe in their success, they say: “I can’t do anything and won’t succeed!” .

"Nonsense. You can do anything. Absolutely everything,” Tufte objects.

So, as soon as you believe that you are capable of this, you can begin to practice.

Be alone with yourself, sit on the sofa or in a chair, but so that your back remains straight. Take several deep breathing cycles, close your eyes and tune in with yourself, with your Soul, and also feel your body. Make a few backward circles with your shoulders.

Take another deep breath and exhale. Open your eyes and stand in your Power! Literally and figuratively. With a sharp and confident movement, rise to your feet and take a decisive step forward.

Close your eyes again. Feel this moment. Right now you are regaining your Strength and the Strength of all your previous incarnations. It's simple. This is done on intention.

Feel the elation, energy, and confidence within yourself. Take it one step further. You are stepping into your Power right now! Say it out loud, proclaim – “I am taking back my Power. I return the power of all my previous incarnations!”

Watch it come back to you. Your power. She is with you.

From now on everything will be different. From this moment your life will begin to change. Just know and remember this, even when you “fall asleep” again, fall into unconscious sleep. This is fine. The main thing is to wake up on time, be aware of yourself and manage your reality.

You are capable of much more than you think, than you used to think. You can do anything.

Within the script, of course. And in order to get out of this scenario, you must specify the upcoming frame. And then he himself, or rather, the film, will take you to another scenario. And it is he who will lead you to your goals! This is why we practice.

Publisher: Gaya - June 24, 2019

We tend to absorb the energies of the people around us. This explains why some individuals feel uncomfortable in the company of others. This conclusion was made based on the results of a study conducted by the University of Bielefeld. Scientists have been able to prove that we are always influenced by the energy of the people we live and work next to.

Flowers require water and light to grow. People are built in a similar way. Our physical bodies are like sponges, absorbing part of what floats around us. The human body uses the energy that other people give off to fuel its emotional state.

Surrounding each of us there is that person who is able to suck all our energy to such an extent that we can barely drag our feet. There are also complete opposites of this - those people whose presence inspires us.

In addition, there is an opinion that people can also absorb energy emanating from representatives of flora and fauna. It is for this reason that weekend trips to nature allow people to recharge their energy for the entire work week.

In addition, zootherapy has recently become widespread - treating people with the help of pets.

“The energy of the mind is the essence of life,” Benjamin Franklin.

The connection between our mood and energy levels

Energy is the force that the body has to perform a task. Our bodies can store energy to change themselves and parts of the world around us. In fact, any type of our activity is a transfer of energy.

All living things need various types energy, many of which we obtain through food and drink. We can also get this energy from nature, specifically from wind, water, heat, light, etc.

Without a doubt, energy is an integral part of our life. In its absence, we are deprived of the opportunity to carry out many of our daily functions and activities. For example, walking, taking care of yourself, working or playing sports.

The energy in our body affects our mood. According to some psychologists, such as Robert Thayer, a person's mood is a reflection of the connection between his energy states and emotions.

Our mood depends on two factors: energy state (from exhaustion to energy) and neuropsychic state (from calm to tension). And it is believed that the “best” state is calm and energetic, and the “worst” state is tense and exhausted.

A person strives to become who he thinks he is

How can you increase your positive energy level?

When a person's energy level is low, life becomes much more difficult for him and difficulties multiply. In this case, he needs to ask himself what actions, events or people will provide him with the necessary level of positive energy. Actions and people that fill us with positive energy help us move more actively along our life path.

In addition to surrounding ourselves with positive people, we have to do some work ourselves. To achieve an optimal energy state, we need to follow the following recommendations:

• Stay focused on your goals to avoid dissipation of energy.

• Live in a state of non-resistance. What we resist sticks to us.

• Be aware of your limitations without judging yourself for it.

• Focus energy on tasks we can control.

On the other hand, you need to find something to do that will allow you to stay motivated and lead an active lifestyle. For some people, this is enough to do sports, go outside, do working together or change your habits from time to time.

You need to find an activity that can make you more mobilized. In addition, it will also be useful for this to communicate more often with people with similar approaches to solving problems and the goals that they set for themselves. This way, you can constantly exchange with them the energy that you emit.

The right choice of daily living environment, friends, activities and, of course, our life partners has positive influence to our mood. By surrounding yourself with friendly people who radiate positive energy, you can provide the best care for yourself.

Publisher: Gaya - June 24, 2019

How often do you take what happens to you too personally?

If you're like most people (which is quite normal), you probably do it too often.

But why? Why are we so inclined to perceive everything that happens to us as aimed specifically at us, as something personal?

There are many answers that can be given to the question of why we so easily take things too personally, and most of them will be quite true. You see, the fact is that we are all human, we all have a fair amount of egocentrism, and that is why we all tend to place ourselves at the center of the universe. And then look at everything that happens in this world - every event, conversation, life circumstances, and so on - as something that in one way or another has something to do with us, even if this is not the case at all.

And this has a rather strong and completely unfavorable effect on our lives. For example, we feel resentful when we deal with rude people (even if their rudeness is directed at everyone without exception). Or we feel too sorry for ourselves when something doesn’t go as planned (even if you had no influence on the circumstances that led to it). Or we doubt ourselves when life makes us realize that we are imperfect (like everyone, without exception, the people around us).

Of course, we are not at all at the center of the universe. It’s not structured like that at all, it just often seems that way to us. Let's look at some simple examples...

Imagine that you are sitting in a room, and, say, reading a book, when someone in a very bad mood bursts in and very rudely and tactlessly asks or demands something from you. It gives you an instant – and quite dramatic! — reaction. You start to think something like: “What happened? I absolutely do not deserve to be treated like this! How dare he!”

And instead of at least trying to understand why that person behaves this way, and whether his anger and rudeness are really directed in your direction, you yourself boil like a kettle put on fire and leave the room in an irritated, agitated and angry state . But the truth is that, most likely, this person's behavior has virtually nothing to do with you.

He was angry about something that happened outside of this room, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. And if someone else were in your place, he would take the blow upon himself. No, I don’t want to say that this reality justifies rude behavior, because it doesn’t. But this must be accepted as reality, so as not to waste your mental energy on perceiving everything that happens as directed specifically at us.

Now let's just imagine for a moment a situation in which the words and actions of another person really have something to do with us - that we, consciously or unconsciously, did something that caused him great irritation, and now he behaves extremely rudely and rudely towards us. impolite.

At first glance, this situation may seem really personal and focused on us, but is it so? Are your interactions and even the action that caused the negative reaction commensurate with the strength of that reaction? Most likely no.

In most cases, this reaction is caused not so much by what we did, but by the inner world of that person, hasty value judgments, problems with emotional control and unfulfilled expectations. As in the previous case, we find ourselves just a tiny episode of a much larger and longer story.

When someone refuses us, ignores us, doesn’t call us, even when they promise to do so, pretends that they don’t care about us, and so on... All these reactions have much less to do with us than with our personal life or inner world the person who shows them to you.

But because we see everything around us through the lens of how it affects us—a lens that makes it extremely difficult to try to see the world as it is—we tend to react to other people's words and actions in such ways. , as if they are all, to one degree or another, a personal, personal judgment or opinion regarding us. And therefore the anger of others causes anger in ourselves. Lack of respect from other people makes us feel unworthy. Other people's unhappiness makes us depressed. And so on…

And therefore, if you agree with what you just read above, then it’s time...

It's time to remind yourself of the truth!

The words and actions of other people, and their attitude towards you in general, in most cases have practically nothing to do with you. Rather, they have to do with their perspectives, emotional traumas and life experiences - but not with you.

And when someone treats you as if you are the most wonderful person in the whole world, or as if there is no one worse than you... Again, this does not say much about you, but it says a lot about them, and how they look at the world around them.

I am not suggesting that you completely ignore the opinions and judgments of others, because sometimes they can turn out to be very valuable and useful. I just think that a fair amount of the emotional pain, disappointment and sadness that fill our lives is often caused directly by the tendency to take things too personally.

In most cases, in order to make our lives happier and healthier, we need to stop focusing on other people's beliefs and behavior, and instead start being guided primarily by our own intuition and wisdom.

And this requires practice. Lots and lots of practice.

The key to this skill is a constant reminder that we should always try to gracefully deflect the aimless negativity flying at us. When you feel that another person's negative word or action is about to enter your heart or soul, simply push it away with a thought like: “In fact, these words or actions, if they say anything, are not about me.” , and about you."

Remember that all people (including you) have their own emotional problems, which they cope with to the best of their ability. This at times makes them rude, brash, or even temporarily robs them of empathy. And they either cope with this situation as well as possible or do not even notice that their behavior causes offense among others.

But in any case, you can learn to view their behavior not as personal attacks on you, but as impersonal incidents (like a dog barking on the next street or a bumblebee flying past), to which you can either respond with dignity or not react at all. .

But, again, this skill is not innate - the ability not to take things too personally needs to be carefully and persistently honed.

To make your practice easier, I recommend re-reading the following reminders every time you catch yourself taking what is happening to you too seriously.

1. Calmness is a real superpower. The ability to keep your reactions within limits helps keep your mind clear and your heart calm.

2. Even when people's words and actions seem to be aimed at you personally, in most cases they say or do it not because of you, but because of themselves.

3. You simply cannot control all (or even most) of what others say and do about you, but you can decide how it will affect you.

4. When you remove the shackles of other people's behavior and beliefs, you gain incredible freedom. You understand that how people treat you is their problem, and how you react to their behavior is yours.

5. Often people say and do things only out of habit, and not because they really want to do or say it.

6. You cannot control how other people will perceive your words or actions - even the most seemingly innocent ones. How other people perceive them, or what meaning they give to them, has in part to do with the problems they have to deal with.

7. Treat constructive criticism with attention, but do not take it as a personal insult. Carefully weigh the words of others, and compare them with what you know deep down in your soul is true.

8. If you begin to view other people's behavior as an indicator of their problems, sooner or later you will inevitably begin to take their words and actions less personally.

9. If you really want to improve your self-confidence, self-esteem and self-esteem, stop placing responsibility for it all on other people. Stop letting other people control your emotions.

10. Even the rudest, toughest and most unprincipled people were once sweet and innocent children, and only then became what they became. This is the tragedy of our entire lives, but we can’t escape it. And therefore, when faced with someone else’s rudeness, be attentive, be yourself - and try to show the best that is in you. Give those around you the very respite that you yourself expect from the world on busy days. Believe me, you won't regret it.

Publisher: Gaya - June 24, 2019

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“I won’t forgive,” She said. - I will remember.

“I’m sorry,” the Angel asked her. - Sorry, it will be easier for you.

“No way,” She stubbornly pursed her lips. - This cannot be forgiven. Never.

- Will you take revenge? – he asked worriedly.

- No, I will not take revenge. I'll be above it.

- Do you want severe punishment?

“I don’t know what punishment would be sufficient.”

“Everyone has to pay for their decisions.” Sooner or later, but everyone...” the Angel said quietly. - It's unavoidable.

- Yes, I know.

- Then forgive me! Take the weight off yourself. You are now far from your offenders.

- No. I can not. And I don't want to. There is no forgiveness for them.

“Okay, it’s up to you,” the Angel sighed. – Where do you intend to store your grudge?

“Please be careful,” the Angel asked. – The poison of resentment is very dangerous. It can settle like a stone and drag you to the bottom, or it can give rise to a flame of rage that burns all living things.

“This is the Memory Stone and the Noble Fury,” She interrupted him. - They are on my side.

And the resentment settled where she said - in the head and in the heart.

She was young and healthy, she was building her life, hot blood flowed in her veins, and her lungs greedily inhaled the air of freedom. She got married, had children, made friends. Sometimes, of course, she was offended by them, but mostly she forgave them. Sometimes she got angry and quarreled, then they forgave her. There were all sorts of things in life, and she tried not to remember her offense.

Many years passed before she heard that hateful word again—“forgive.”

- My husband betrayed me. There is constant friction with children. Money doesn't love me. What to do? – she asked the elderly psychologist.

He listened carefully, clarified a lot, and for some reason kept asking her to talk about her childhood. She got angry and brought the conversation back to the present, but it took her back to her childhood. It seemed to her that he was wandering through the nooks and crannies of her memory, trying to examine and bring to light that long-standing resentment. She didn't want this, so she resisted. But he saw it anyway, this meticulous guy.

“You need to cleanse yourself,” he concluded. – Your grievances have grown. Later grievances stuck to them like polyps on a coral reef. This reef has become an obstacle to the flow vital energy. Because of this, you have problems in your personal life and things are not going well with your finances. This reef has sharp edges that will hurt your tender soul. Various emotions have settled and become entangled inside the reef, they poison your blood with their waste products, and this attracts more and more settlers.

“Yes, I feel something like that too,” the woman nodded. – From time to time I become nervous, sometimes I feel depressed, and sometimes I just want to kill everyone. Okay, we need to clean up. But as?

“Forgive that first, most important offense,” the psychologist advised. “There will be no foundation and the reef will crumble.”

- Never! – the woman jumped up. – This is a fair insult, because that’s how it all happened! I have the right to be offended!

- Do you want to be right or happy? – asked the psychologist. But the woman did not answer, she simply got up and left, taking her coral reef with her.

Several more years passed. The woman was again at the reception, now with the doctor. The doctor looked at the pictures, leafed through the tests, frowned and chewed his lips.

- Doctor, why are you silent? – she couldn’t stand it.

- Do you have relatives? - asked the doctor.

— My parents died, my husband and I are divorced, but there are children and grandchildren too. Why do you need my relatives?

- You see, you have a tumor. Right here,” and the doctor showed on the photograph of the skull where she had the tumor. – Judging by the tests, the tumor is not good. This explains your constant headaches, insomnia, and fatigue. The worst thing is that the tumor has a tendency to grow rapidly. It's increasing, that's what's bad.

- So what, am I going to have an operation now? – she asked, growing cold with terrible forebodings.

“No,” and the doctor frowned even more. - Here are your cardiograms for Last year. You have a very weak heart. It seems that it is squeezed on all sides and is not able to work at full capacity. It may not survive surgery. Therefore, first you need to treat the heart, and only then...

He didn’t finish speaking, and the woman realized that “later” might never come. Either the heart won’t stand it, or the tumor will crush.

— By the way, your blood test isn’t very good either. Hemoglobin is low, leukocytes are high... I will prescribe medicine for you,” the doctor said. - But you also have to help yourself. You need to put your body in relative order and at the same time mentally prepare for the operation.

- But as?

— Positive emotions, warm relationships, communication with family. You will fall in love eventually. Look through the photo album and remember your happy childhood.

The woman just smiled wryly.

“Try to forgive everyone, especially your parents,” the doctor unexpectedly advised. – This greatly relieves the soul. In my practice, there have been cases when forgiveness worked wonders.

- Oh really? – the woman asked ironically.

- Imagine. There are many auxiliary tools in medicine. Quality care, for example... Caring. Forgiveness can also be a medicine, free of charge and without a prescription.

Forgive. Or die. Forgive or die? Die but not forgive? When choice becomes a matter of life and death, you just need to decide which way you are looking.

Surely this is happening to you: because of the high importance of a person, you do some rash actions. It is difficult to reason soberly about this person. Why is this happening? Why does it happen that a person’s importance soars to the skies? Is it good?

If you want to reduce the importance of a person, then there is little good from high importance. The importance of a person is rather a disadvantage for you. What to do?

In a situation where our hero needs to reduce the importance of a certain person, we need to work in two directions: 1) increase the importance of our hero. 2) reduce the importance of another person.

1. Perhaps you consider yourself undeserving of another person's attention. In this case, the other person may be an ordinary guy or girl who has turned her attention to you. You experienced this feeling and want to continue. This smells of low self-esteem in our hero. Here you need to hammer into your head “You fully deserve this person’s attention.” How? Improve yourself. Keep the development bar and you will stop feeling inferior.
2. Maybe you are doing well with your self-esteem, and you just (!what do you think) drew a lottery ticket by becoming friends with such a great person.

The principle of importance is importance. What you get from such a person is very important to you. Most likely you have only one such person. Therefore, everything is simple: try to get “this very thing” from another person and you will see that your person is not that special. Or maybe you will like a new person? Because because you only have one person, one option, you have the fear of losing that person. You don't have a backup option, a backup parachute.

Why do different pick-up artists advise boys to date two girls at once? Because he will stop being afraid. “If it doesn’t work out with one, it will work out with the other” - the lifeline of inevitable success allows you to be liberated, to be yourself.

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Any emotion you have is just a consequence. The reason is the same importance. You also shouldn’t go too far, delving into neglect and underestimation, humility or repentance. After all, this is also important, but from the other side.

So what needs to be done to remove the importance and restore balance? First of all, realize that if you have some kind of problem, then its cause was initially overestimated. Find her, bring her into the light. And start working to reduce excess potential

Methods to reduce importance:

There are many different options for reducing importance. Let's look at some of them. Choose the ones that are most interesting to you, and always use them as soon as you feel that the balance point has been lost

When striving for a goal, always have a backup plan.

Or better yet, several. Answer yourself the question: “What will I do if I can’t achieve this?” Knowing the alternatives, the importance will no longer be so overwhelming.

Focus on the process.

Let go of your desire to achieve results faster. Learn to enjoy the process, path, activity itself.

Have fun with it.

And don’t think about what will happen in the end. Don’t think. Stop thinking about your desire, your goal. Throw away any thoughts about it. And the best way is to distract attention. For example, books, movies, computer games, work, current affairs, sports. Any other activity that will allow you to forget about desire and get carried away by another process completely.

Visualization.

Close your eyes and imagine filling a balloon with the energy of your goal, desired outcome, or desire. Color and size - choose to your taste. Tie the ball with a nice ribbon and release it. Watch as it flies higher and higher, turns into a dot and disappears. Know that he went to meet opportunities.

Modeling.

If you are facing some difficult meeting, then in order to remove the importance from it, thoroughly imagine how everything will go, what you will say, how to speak, how to behave. Play out the situation in advance. This will allow you to gain confidence and remove excess potential.

Write.

Take a pen and paper and start writing your wish, repeating it many times. For example: “I want a red car, I want a red car, I want a red car...”. And so on until you feel that the tension has subsided and you have become calmer. This method helps to free yourself from excess potential and will contribute to the emergence of new interesting ideas. But here, the main thing is not to overdo it. So that the desire does not disappear completely.

Humor.

And the most important way is humor! If you are able to laugh at the situation, then half the battle is done! Humor relieves the situation well and removes any importance.

And remember - never, under any circumstances, boast even of what you have rightfully deserved. And even more so those that have not yet been achieved. This is extremely unprofitable, because in this case the equilibrium forces will always act against you.

Letting go of desire means stopping tugging at yourself and the Universe with your doubts and questions.

Letting go means calmly sending it off for execution and moving on to other things. This can be compared to ordering in an online store. After sending the request, we wait until the product is received from the warehouse, processed, or perhaps manufactured, if it is tailoring or manufacturing something. You are calm and confident that the order will come, you mind your own business. It’s the same with desires. The only difference is that in an online store we know the approximate deadlines, but here everything is very individual. The more global the desire, the more time it takes to implement the project.

As a rule, money flows faster to those who are not obsessed with it. Who does all the exercises easily. It's like a game! You develop in yourself a new feeling of a rich and successful person, learn to see money around, feel it, even when there is only 50 rubles in your pocket. Of course, you don’t lie on the sofa like Ivan the Fool on the stove and dream, you act! At the same time, your thoughts, your feelings, your perception are aimed at prosperity.

Don't worry that it won't work out. After all, if it doesn’t work out, what do you have to lose? Nothing!

What if it works? You will have income or dividend! You will see how money appears in your life and learn how to make your desires come true!

Therefore, I strongly advise you to approach each technique with the attitude “If it works out, it’s great, but if it doesn’t, then I’ll get something different, better.”

This is what is called “letting go of desire.”

Complete trust. As a rule, there are always results. If you notice, small desires that we treat easily are easily fulfilled. For example, “it would be great to receive a rose as a gift.” And if you don’t receive it, you’re unlikely to be particularly upset. And if you make a wish and forget, then after a while you will definitely receive a rose!

But with global desires everything is different, we are so afraid of their non-fulfillment that as a result this happens. Trust is very important.

Why do I recommend not giving up exercise during marathons? The topic of money, love and relationships are very deep and important topics. It’s not enough to limit yourself to a banal desire: “I want an apartment!” dream, draw, make techniques and forget! We need to do something, pay attention to opportunities. And the main thing is to believe and not doubt!

To increase your income, it is important to constantly focus on wealth, to imagine that you are becoming richer every day. Feel abundance and experience joy from it.

After finishing the marathon, many participants, inspired by happiness, soon give up everything and relax after two months of hard work. The first obstacle in life brings everything back to the old way of thinking. Attention is again concentrated on the lack of money, on the inability to earn it, the former confidence disappears! And thoughts revolve only around the lack of money! Sadly. This is how over-importance manifests itself. All the sense of the work done is lost.

And if you think about money, and at the same time there are thoughts in your head, supported by positive emotions: “Everything is great, there is an incredible amount of opportunities around! I deserve a prosperous life. I have so much. And how many more will there be! And there is always enough money.” In this case, you are moving forward on the right course and are sure to get incredible results!

Learn to look at your desires without regret and annoyance, but with confidence in their fulfillment.

Stop doubting! All wishes will come true and dreams will come true!