How to get rid of spiritual emptiness. How to fill the spiritual emptiness after a breakup. Psychological causes of emptiness in the soul

It happens in life that a person is consumed by a feeling of loneliness and apathy towards everything and everyone. Such spiritual emptiness may arise once or twice, and quite often it can prevent you from living life to the fullest. Without a timely response, this condition can even develop into depression, which is considered a serious psychological illness. The information presented below will help you recognize the characteristic symptoms of this phenomenon in time or avoid their occurrence.

Causes

The state of emptiness can appear completely unexpectedly. A person may not even notice what influenced it. Just at one point you stopped feeling happy. Life, of course, goes on, but it no longer brings joy. Those around you may have no idea about your problems, and you, in turn, will wonder: why did the emptiness appear inside me?

Among the reasons for the onset of such a crisis period are the following:

• Banal fatigue. Every person at some point gives up and no longer wants to endure a constant routine, unloved work, eternal bustle, etc.
• Stress. A feeling of emptiness is often observed as a reaction to the loss of a loved one, major changes in life, etc.
• Shock. Something similar to a stressful situation, but it can be caused by betrayal, betrayal, destruction of the usual picture of the world, etc.
• Loss of life guidelines and goals. Every person has some kind of aspiration in life. It can be easily realized or very long-term, but its loss or achievement can create an emptiness in the soul.
• Any difficult life situation can break a person. Inner emptiness is a natural result of such circumstances.

Symptoms

People suffering from this disease are distinguished by great indifference to the world around them. They withdraw into themselves, on their own problems, which are often simply far-fetched. When there is emptiness in your soul, you don’t want to do anything: take care of your own appearance, the situation in the house, leave your beloved four walls. In such a situation, a person is often left alone, because he ceases to be interested in communicating with friends and acquaintances. It’s very good if you have a family that won’t abandon you. difficult situation and will pay attention to this condition.

There is often a feeling that one's soul has been put on display. This is especially observed among people who have been betrayed.

Spiritual emptiness clouds everything around. The events around you simply fade away. This painful state quickly drags you into the abyss of loneliness and darkness, devaluing previously significant things. Such a condition, as is believed in psychology, can even lead to physical pain. Many people, when a feeling of emptiness appears, begin to suffer from migraines. In this situation, medications may not be effective.

If you do not respond to this condition in a timely manner, do not pull yourself together, or do not seek the help of a psychologist, you can lead yourself to a real disease - depression. The result of the latter, as many people know, is often suicidal behavior.

What to do first?

Inner emptiness requires serious attention from a person and, preferably, his loved ones. It is quite difficult to fight this phenomenon on your own without support, but it is possible. It will take a lot of willpower. In this case, be guided by one point: who would you really like to be, a weak, weak-willed creature or a person who knows how to rejoice, love and live? If you chose the second, then here is a list of completely simple emergency measures:

• Start complaining. Yes, yes, exactly complain! This, like nothing else, will help you look at yourself from the outside, voice everything that is boiling in your soul. All that’s left is to find someone who can just go and cry.
• Trust people. This may be very difficult for people who have just been betrayed, but take a closer look at your surroundings. Surely there will be someone to whom you can speak without fear, and who will help with practical advice.
• Look for the cause of your condition. Self-digging in this case is only beneficial. Think about whether your work or a certain person may be to blame. You will have to eliminate this reason: find something you love or say goodbye forever to the culprit of your inner emptiness.
• Stir up your emotions. Here it is not particularly important what emotions they will be, the main thing is to get rid of the indifference with which you have been looking at the world lately. Get adrenaline pumping into your blood. Extreme sports will help with this. Read a dramatic book, watch funny movie or just enjoy the sunset. There are many options, just choose something you like.

Another question is what and how to fill the emptiness in the soul. There is a lot of information about this in psychology. Below are just the main points.

How to fill the spiritual emptiness?

It is very easy for a person to think about this in his usual state, not subject to emptiness outside and inside. It is more difficult to perceive this information when you don’t want anything and the meaning of life disappears.

Having noticed a kind of emptiness in yourself, you need to try to pull yourself together, no matter how difficult it may sound at the moment, or ask your loved ones for help. You can get out of this state; to do this, you just need to figure out how to fill the resulting emptiness in life. Several options can be offered in this regard:

Personal life

This is precisely the sphere that absorbs a person headlong and in all serious ways. Plunge into the world of feelings, find a place for them in your heart, and you will feel alive again. If you have a loved one, then let him take care of you. If you have children, take care of them. They probably don't have enough attention right now. Find a point of support for yourself: in the form of a person, a group of people or an event. In fact, real life is in full swing next to you. Don't let her bypass you!

Job

Perhaps it's time to change your profession or place of activity. Have you ever wondered how much energy your work takes from you? Maybe it's time to turn your favorite hobby into one that brings profit? Activity itself gives us room for maneuver: new acquaintances, employment, goals, etc.

Hobbies

It's time to occupy yourself with something interesting and unusual. Agree to any offers; perhaps something will interest you right now. If you have long wanted to sign up for dancing or going to the gym, now is the time. Get yourself involved in something new, and you simply won’t have time left to think about how to get rid of the emptiness in your soul.

Think positively

If there is emptiness in the soul, it means that a lot of space has been freed up for something new and unusual. Now is the period in life when you can start everything from scratch, with new emotions, feelings and friends. There is now a space in the heart that requires filling with completely new information. While you are filling it out, try to find support from your loved ones. You need communication now more than ever.

In cases where you cannot get out of this state on your own, psychology or psychotherapy comes to the rescue. Contacting a specialist should not be regarded as something shameful. For many people, the state of emptiness leads to more serious phenomena. To avoid this, it is better to undergo several sessions of psychoanalysis at this stage.

One day you find yourself in the middle of a scorched steppe, where everything is calm but lifeless. And nothing reminds us that a blooming garden once grew here. It’s a strange feeling, because this lifelessness is inside you. What to do if your soul is empty and cold? Let's figure out where this abyss came from and how to fill it in order to feel the joy of life again.

Where do “black holes” come from?

Perhaps you yourself did not notice when and how this happened. At what point did your inner Universe fail, and a frightening “black hole” formed in it?
You continue to live ordinary life, and those around you don’t even realize that you live as if inside a black and white silent movie.

At what point did the cup run dry? This is the first thing you need to understand for yourself when you decide to understand the problem of your inner loneliness.

Here are the most common causes of this condition:

The acute period will be survived. But now inside you hear a frightening echo of emptiness.

What's next?

Really, what? NOTHING. A terrible word, which in our case can mean indifference, melancholy, apathy, depression. All the “delights” that can make life look hopeless like a straight line of a heartbeat on a monitor. If nothing is done, everything can turn out to be more than just a lack of mood.

A person not only ceases to be interested in what is happening around him, but also to take care of himself, communicate normally with loved ones, and withdraws. Due to desolation in the soul, desolation in the house also increases, sloppiness and chaos arise. Indifference and lack of interest can alienate friends.

In order to prevent such a development of the situation, it is important to understand that scorched grass in a spiritual vacuum is nothing more than past experiences that seem to have already dried up, but cover the soil of the soul very tightly, preventing seeds from the outside from reaching the fertile layer. And even the most persistent seeds cannot germinate through a thick layer of withered grass.

Correcting the situation: digging up the field

What to do? The answer is obvious: empty – fill it in!
– Fill it out... It’s easy to say, but difficult to do. – You will object with the usual indifference. And you will be absolutely right. But, like almost everything in the world, it is doable if there is a desire.

“You forgot, I haven’t had any desires for a long time,” you wearily continue the debate.

No, I haven't forgotten. That's why we'll start with desire. From the desire to change existence to a spiritually fulfilling life.

Answer, what is better: to remain in the same state of a soulless robot or to rejoice, be nervous, love, suffer and be happy from this living movement of the soul? Hint: because for some reason you decided to read these lines, it means that not everything is hopeless. If the desire has not yet arisen, just force yourself, overpower your personality or what’s left of it. Finally, get angry: how could a multifaceted person have an empty tank inside?

A few first steps to help begin the “rehabilitation” process:

Complain. Have a good cry into someone's vest. Yes, yes, many people think that complaining is bad. But fading away while gritting your teeth is even worse.

Trust. Don't be afraid to ask your loved ones for help. Do not doubt, they love you and therefore will understand, listen, and console you.

Understand the reasons. Take a break. Leave. You need to be alone with your inner loneliness. Before you sow something and wait for fresh sprouts, you need to dig up the soil, remove weeds and dry turf. Get rid of scorched grass.

Shake up frozen emotions. For some, extreme sports and adrenaline will help. For some, heart-warming films and books. For some, contemplation of Niagara Falls or the sunrise over Lake Baikal. And for some - new love.

Have you prepared the ground? Now - sow!

Emptiness affects all aspects of life. Fill your soul with a variety of seeds and food, create a healthy, tasty and balanced “diet” for it.

Personal life and the world of feelings. Love, tenderness, passion... How long do you keep all this on the surface of your “dead lake”? Now that the water is becoming alive, it’s time to measure the depth. Give your loved one the opportunity to warm you up; he has long tolerated your detachment. If there is no such person, you need to open your soul wider and look around. In fact, it exists, you were just so detached from everything that fate decided to save an important meeting until better times.

Text: Irina Bekova, psychologist

Time may not be a very good cosmetologist, but it is an excellent healer. Start off new life best in harmony with yourself.

Time to think

Repeat the words “Everything that is not done is for the better” as often as possible and do not rush to knock out a wedge with a wedge. It’s stupid to spend the rest of your life worrying about a breakup, but it’s also a rush caused by the desire to prove that someone needs you, to have new novel“out of spite” can backfire, poison a new feeling, ruin a new relationship.

• If he left you, allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, grief, despair, and whatever you want. Only your actions affect those around you; only actions can be wrong. inadequate, inappropriate, but you can think and feel absolutely anything.
• If you said “adju” to him, remember that regrets and doubts on the topic “Even though he was inferior, he was” sometimes overcome any woman - you just need time to come to your senses.

Maybe later you will be convinced that you can be alone and live happily, but that will happen later. Now your task is to adapt to new life circumstances.

There are at least two very popular, but no less destructive ways to fill spiritual emptiness: alcohol and food. Under no circumstances do we recommend checking for personal experience whether female alcoholism is really incurable. At a minimum, your figure will suffer from the green serpent. And eating stress is fraught with very unpleasant consequences. It is not far from the sister of anorexia - bulimia.

9 ways to fill a void without sacrificing your health

• 1 Books
  If you like to read, this is a great way for you to cry with the hero, who, like you, is going through a breakup, and find some kind of solution and way out with him. If you feel that the book you have started is depressing you, put it aside and return to it in a more even mood.
• 2 People
  Surely there are people in your environment who, by their mere presence, set you in a positive mood. And there are those who love to teach how to live. It is obvious that you need to communicate with the former as often as possible, and postpone philosophical conversations with the latter until better times. If you need to talk it out, go to a professional psychologist. Among your friends, there is hardly a person who can really just listen and silently empathize with you, and not give unnecessary advice.
• 3 music and dancing
  Use music and dance as a cleansing ritual. Try “dancing the music.” Even if you don't know how to dance at all, it's okay, all you need to do is close your eyes, let go of your body and move to the music as it asks. The music can be “relaxing” or even somewhat aggressive, but not depressing.
• 4 Children
  Having children means that your soul will no longer be completely empty. And the question of where to put yourself and what has appeared free time will not stand in front of you. Don’t forget that love for children and love for a man are completely different feelings and trying to replace one with the other is not only wrong, but also harmful for children and your relationship with them.
• 5 Case
  There is no need to die even at your favorite job, you don’t need to turn into a workaholic. But now is the time to take on a new interesting and complex project. Just don't forget to rest.
• 6 A pet
  If you have no children and no pets, it's time to get some kind of affectionate animal. Even “unkind” fish in an aquarium will do. The need to take care of someone every day helps you “not get hung up” on your experiences.
• 7 Hobby
  Something “for the soul” helps you switch gears: calm your nerves, make new acquaintances, make money if your professionalism in this area grows. And most importantly, it allows you to easily track progress specific tasks. Achieved goals increase self-esteem.
• 8 Change of image
  Changing your appearance means feeling renewed. For women, this method works no worse than antidepressants. Your task is to “feel, sensibly, and carefully” work out every detail of the new image - from the length and color of the hair to the gait, new manners and gestures. During the transformation process, you will probably feel happier thanks to the production of serotonin - one of the hormones responsible for female mood.
• 9 A brave deed
  Doing what you have wanted for so long, but still haven’t dared to do, is another good tactical move. A feeling of deep moral satisfaction is guaranteed, if only because you found the strength within yourself and took a risk.

Surely there will be those who will say that it’s good for those who love to read, or music, or communicate, or travel, about the lucky ones who have a favorite job and there is nothing to say at all and they will ask: “What should I do? I have no interesting hobbies, no friends, I work purely for money, and here I don’t even have a man. What should I do with myself? There is no answer to this question, but there is an understanding of why the man left you - he just got bored with you.

If you feel empty and sad about yourself, then falling in love, of course, will dispel this melancholy for a short time, but very soon the euphoria of the beginning of the relationship will end, you will tell each other all the interesting stories and biographical data, and then everyday life and deeper recognition of each other will begin.

And therefore, you have nothing to learn more deeply about “born-studied-worked”? This means you are being lazy. You have to look for interesting things, invent them, create them; this requires certain expenses, first of all, energy and mental ones. Some things lie on the surface, but most often it’s like the joke “Why is everything pleasant in life illegal, immoral, or leads to obesity?” No one will do this work for you. You have to work hard to acquire “other” interesting and pleasant things. It's a shame, but no one promised that it would be easy.

Where does emptiness in the soul come from and what does it mean? Why doesn’t anything really fill you up or make you happy? To answer these questions, you need to understand the mechanisms of the human psyche. Using system-vector psychology, we will show why the feeling of emptiness arises, what people say about it and how they overcome it.

The fading evening hour
River and palisade in the fog...
What connects us? All of us?
Mutual misunderstanding.
G. V. Ivanov

In this world we are surrounded by three types of people:

- some just pass by;
- others bump into us and leave painful bruises;
- still others stop nearby, and you feel that something important connects you.

This connection is like the “road of life”: in difficult moments you receive support from another, and in moments of strength you share with others. The more such connections a person has, the stronger and happier he is.

What connects you to others depends on your values ​​and desires. They are innate. The connections of many people are intertwined, spreading from one to another. The main thing here is not to get confused and hold your strings tightly in your hands, to be able to see your place in this large “network” of relationships from which happiness, sadness, fullness or emptiness are created.

The absence of what connections creates emptiness in the soul?

Man with visual vector. Emotional connections with others are simply necessary for him. If he is in love, he shines brighter than a star. If there are people, emotions, warmth nearby, he is happy. But it happens that connections do not work out: “dry” professional activity, lack of emotions, breakup of relationships. This brings pain, loss of strength and a feeling of loneliness.

“My soul is sad and empty, loneliness eats away. I do not have anyone to talk to. I’m so tired of the emptiness, I want light and warmth in my soul, to have a loved one nearby.”

Man with anal vector. For him, the value is family, future generations. Family and blood ties are paramount for such people. How happy a mother is when her children are doing well. What great success can a man achieve if he is loved and supported by his family. Seeing the success of his students, the teacher feels full and meaningful in his life.

Missing or broken family connections brings emptiness to the soul of the bearer of the anal vector.

“I lived the life of children for many years. Now they have grown up, they have their own paths. And in my life there was only emptiness. Nothing can fill it. They left, and now I’m nobody.”

A person with a sound vector is completely different. He is bored with being content with what he offers material world, his request is related to the spiritual, he is interested in getting to the bottom of the root causes. Why does he want to comprehend the secrets of eternity? To change the world - the lives of all people at once. This desire is often not realized; it bubbles like an amorphous compote in the brain. It is so voluminous that it is not clear how to implement it. People around them often do not understand these desires; they shake their heads and say: "Weirdo, get busy".

The carrier of the sound vector remains restless, without connections with others, alone with internal emptiness.

“Sometimes you walk down the street or talk to people, but it’s like you’re not here. Everything seems meaningless, and there’s such emptiness inside.”

Mutual influence of vectors

A person often has several vectors at once; their properties and characteristics can be intertwined, influencing each other. For example, in the visual vector he wants to exchange feelings with people, but the anal vector generalizes bad experiences and “warns” him. A person begins to avoid new acquaintances, thinking that all people lie and betray, or quickly ends friendships due to a tendency to be offended.

The skin vector has the property of limiting. Such a person often limits himself in expressing feelings and does not give free rein to his emotions. This is especially noticeable among women who, under the influence of circumstances or society, put everything on their career and making money. They often achieve success and at the same time experience difficulties in matters of family and friendship.

“I occupy a high position and cannot talk to my subordinates about personal matters. For them, I am a strict boss, always in order and in shape. No one cares what's in my heart. I work day and night and have no time for friends and family. Sometimes it’s so sick of loneliness.”

System-vector psychology reveals in full the variety of psychological reasons that influence the ability to create love and relationships.

The spiritual emptiness of a spiritual person

But the need to feel remains. There is a lack that accumulates over the years and causes a feeling of spiritual emptiness. In addition, the unexpressed feeling remains in the soul in the form of fear. This further complicates the situation. It’s scary to approach, it’s scary to trust, it’s scary what they’ll think of you.

How to relearn how to feel love for someone, how to give your feelings, how to realize the desires given by nature in the visual vector?

If the property is given by nature and there is a desire, it means that there is also the strength to fulfill this desire.

You need to start with the deepest possible acquaintance with the visual vector, its properties, and desires. This will help you understand what is happening in your soul. And at the same time, get rid of false attitudes that imperceptibly control your life and interfere with your path to yourself. At the training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan, all this elaboration will happen unnoticed by you. And then it’s a matter of practice.

Sensual fulfillment

It is very pleasant to watch a person who realizes his visual properties: he is so warm, smiling, and kind. And where to start?

When Dina Korzun was asked a question about how to start their journey in charity for those who are afraid, she answered like this:

“If you are afraid to do charity work in the field of pediatric oncology, help environmentalists, volunteer firefighters, and shelters for abandoned animals. After all, you may not want to join any social movement, you can simply clean up the trash in a nearby park, help a disabled person get on the bus, not walk past a person who has fallen on the street, and all this will also be charity.”

These words are very accurate and they relate not only to charity, but also to emotional inclusion in other people in general. Realized visual feelings are a more attentive look, a warmer handshake, the ability to stop and show participation, the courage to hug, listen, smile. As long as there are internal barriers, it is an overcoming every time.

“Give me your hand! Here is the chest." V. Mayakovsky

While you are only on the path to victory over internal barriers, try to open up your possibilities and feel the pleasure of focusing on people sensually, with your heart. Look closely at people, notice those who need help, support, and just listen. Don't be afraid that it will hurt, don't be afraid of tears, don't be afraid of looking stupid. Just listen and try to feel what is happening.

In such a situation, you are unlikely to need anything more than a look or a phrase of sympathy. But you will feel how attentive, compassionate communication different people fills you up. This is how you create the skill of building emotional connections.

After completing the training, unconscious barriers will go away, and emotional contact with people will begin to bring more and more joy and will make up the story of each new day.

“...This world is here. He is real! And the meaning of life is also here, and you need to look for it only here! Not alone, but among other people! It is in us, and it is different for everyone! And everyone has their own search. I think I'm where I need to be. I want to enjoy this life, hear the sounds of birds, hear how this earth rotates and know that everything is here for a reason. That we all walk and live for a reason. That everything and everyone has its own purpose and meaning in the existence of everyone on this earth! Maybe this is the very answer about the meaning that you are always looking for? How do you think?.."
Sergey A., Samara

“...Getting rid of the fear of people, which I could not achieve during many years of “training”, happened by itself already when passing the first level of SVP. I suddenly discovered that I began to receive great pleasure from contemplating people, unknown to me before. I look at strangers on the street and in public transport completely fearlessly. It became very interesting for me to look at them. And I feel contact with them. I learned from experience that simply making eye contact with a stranger can become the “event of the day” and bring pleasure. Now I have no hostility or condemnation towards anyone. Communication has become easier, without the former terrible tension...” Feb 15, 2018

Every age has its own problems, its own tears, pain and misunderstandings. And if in childhood we are always cheerful, and are sad only because of unshared candy, toys or a broken knee, then in youth and adulthood this state of mind becomes very common. There is emptiness in the soul... there is no person who has been spared such pain. Why is it so painful, sad, so empty? Consider this feeling at every age.

Oh, this fleeting youth...

In youth, life is in full swing! Friends, noisy companies, new acquaintances, discoveries, emotions, first love, joy, kisses, recklessness... And, unfortunately, the first disappointments, the first betrayals, tears, depression. In general, it is at this age that young people are susceptible to such a feeling as emptiness in the soul. As a rule, it is a consequence of disappointment, enormous pain, and constant stress. It often happens that after severe pain or monotony, the body wants one thing: to forget the traitors, the feeling of pain, tears or monotony. At such moments you don’t want anything. There is emptiness in the soul, disappointment. This feeling can only be described this way... As a rule, young people find solace either in friends or in studies. Time passes, things get better, new interests and new feelings arise...

Family life in the early stages is cheerful, varied, colorful. But the further you go, the more difficult it becomes: a lot of misunderstandings, quarrels, lack of attention, let it be trivial, but lack of money. All this leads to quarrels, scandals, resentments and tears. But this is completely different. There are no more youthful flights of dreams, no fantasies. Adult life is responsibility. Because of a thoughtless word or deed, a person may experience that same emptiness in his soul. And then it is almost impossible to melt the ice in the heart, because if in our youth we could lose ourselves with friends, then family life this will not be tolerated. In addition, many people are burdened with the burden of work and dull everyday life...

Balzac age

As a rule, women most often encounter such unpleasant feelings during this period. It’s not for nothing that they say that after 30-40 years it becomes more and more difficult to accept the inevitable. This may be due to monotony, problems in the family or the inability to realize oneself...What is accompanied by such emptiness? The worst enemy is apathy, sadness and depression. This moment at this age is the most difficult to survive! You can turn to psychologists, or you can find the reason yourself. After that, fight. Fight with all your might for your happiness, for your former joy, because life should in any case be in full swing!

How to fight?

As a rule, such a period is cyclical. Depending on the person, it can be long or it can be short. At first we get carried away by something, get excited, and then over time we can become disappointed. What was everything to us can collapse in one second. Such a sudden change to a person, thing or attitude can cause a state of emptiness. Mental emptiness is the same habit, autopilot, dullness... What needs to be done? The main thing is to find an opportunity to release adrenaline. After all, if you let everything take its course, it can lead to the worst. So, if your soul is empty and requires something new, then you must pull yourself together. Start a new business, take up a hobby, go on a trip with your family or alone, relax somewhere in the countryside. Psychologists also recommend spending time with friends and family outside the home: barbecue, fishing, a trip to the mountains or forest! All this will diversify your time. And as a last resort, change your job, change your place of residence, meet new friends. Is there emptiness in your soul? Gather all your will into a fist, and you will see that the world is filled with bright colors and emotions!