How to determine which one it is. How to determine a person's character by his appearance and behavior. What facial expressions and gestures can tell us

Or character, work characteristics, lifestyle.

If it is important for you to understand another, which equally means understanding yourself, developing and improving your ability to “see people through”, you will be interested in learning about the secrets of “understanding” people.

People who understand others well understand themselves first and foremost, trust their instincts and have a lot in common.

Here are some character traits, behavioral characteristics, and communication techniques of experts in this field, knowledge of which will be useful. And it is within the power of any person to develop these qualities in themselves.

But first, a little introspection that will complement the picture of our strengths and weaknesses in understanding of others people and yourself, Certainly. Answer the following ten questions in your mind as honestly as you can:

1. How do you feel about your past?
2. Do you listen carefully to what is being said to you?
3. Do you pay attention to details or try to form a general idea about someone or something?
4. How do you express your feelings, openly or reservedly?
5. How do you behave in an unfamiliar situation?
6. Are you afraid of difficulties and how do you cope with them?
7. Do you know what can make you happy in everyday life?
8. What is your memory?
9. How often do you make the right decisions at work?
10. How do you make decisions - do you trust advice or listen to yourself?

What answers say about your insight, the ability to understand oneself and others:

1. People understand others when they perceive their past as necessary experience. They tend to use different ways and techniques to achieve their goal. Moreover, they look at failure like the inventor of the light bulb, Edison: “I found a thousand ways to make a light bulb.” And I didn’t make a mistake a thousand times, even if it was different each time. Ideally, all that is required is not to repeat mistakes. People who are able to understand another remember very well how they felt when they had serious problems. They react very sharply to troubles, so they do everything to ensure that they never happen again.
2. They pay close attention to everything people say, how they say it, and how they look. This makes it much easier for them to remember exactly what others say.
3. They constantly monitor a person's reactions - his movements, gestures and facial expressions - and therefore know how they act on others and how others act on them.
4. They are not afraid to openly express all their emotions - from anger and fear to love, because they always know how they feel in any given situation.
5. They are so susceptible to everything that happens around them that they easily avoid the threat of becoming a victim in situations that are potentially dangerous to their health and life.
6. They are confident. They know that they will not only survive, but also win, because they know how to surround themselves reliable people.
7. Paying great attention to even minor details, they simultaneously see the big picture and are able to enjoy the small joys of life.
8. They have a good memory, which they develop by carefully monitoring what is happening around them and studying the people with whom they have to deal.
9. In their business, they make good decisions more often than bad ones. If they take risks, they carefully weigh the pros and cons, because they know a bunch of nuances and possible approaches to solving the problems they face.
10. They trust their intuition and their personal experience and do not succumb to the influence of others. Thanks to their broad outlook, they rarely choose as friends and comrades people who can cause them nothing but grief and trouble.

By doing this, you will find that you have an immeasurably better understanding of what others really meant and what they really are. And the more actively you apply your knowledge in practice, the sooner you will learn to distinguish decent people from those who are capable of causing more trouble and problems.

Before starting any business or personal relationship, it is worth stopping, pausing for a minute or two, taking a closer look at the facial expression and gestures of the other person, listening to what and how he says, and most importantly, understanding how he likes us impressive. For example, you realize that you should not have anything to do with a person, because he is completely contraindicated for you, but you still go for it. In this case, you just need to remember that relationships with such people will not only cause you anxiety, but will also undermine your health. Once you realize that because of someone your life could literally be in danger, it will become much easier for you to say “no” to such a person, because health and well-being, of course, come first. By making it a habit to stop, look around, and listen whenever you meet someone new, you will develop incredible insight into other people. And when you need to make a fundamental decision regarding a person, you will make the right and accurate choice.

To " see right through a person", it is necessary to decode correctly and in a timely manner all information that he conveys through his entire behavior, and not just the meaning of the words he speaks. Deciphering another person's behavior is easy to do based on four sources of information:

Deciphering the speech code.

A person's voice gives only part of the clues to his inner world; Just as important is the words he uses and what he actually means. What do people really mean by what they say? How sincere are they? Do they give dubious compliments, are their pleasantries, in fact, disguised barbs? Are they spreading gossip about you? Do they have a habit of constantly talking only about themselves? What are their lexicon and do they follow the rules of grammar? What are they really talking about if you listen to what is “between the lines”?

Your voice can say a lot about your condition. This is especially evident when you are talking on the phone. In an instant, you determine the mood of the person on the other end of the line. The voice code is determined by the tone of the voice. Many elements of this code are familiar to you, but you may not have paid enough attention to them. These include the range of the speaker's voice (high or low voice), his distinctive features(the person mumbles, speaks more and more quietly, the voice is plaintive, harsh, serious, hoarse, hoarse, melodic, low, sonorous, dull, lifeless, enthusiastic, excited, aggressive, sugary or monotonous), as well as the volume of the voice and the pace of speech, which primarily depend on the speech technique of a particular person.

Looking closely at the body language code.

The body language code is a kind of tracing paper of a person that shows how he walks, sits and stands. How a person holds his head is no less important when analyzing the body language code than what movements he makes with his arms and legs. Observe, for example, what space a person takes up when he sits, or what distance from you he usually tries to stay.

The face of every person expresses something, and it is by the face that we understand what is in his soul. The facial expression code shows how someone's face changes when they listen to others or speak themselves. At the same time, the expression of the eyes is no less important than the facial expressions of the mouth. How does a person listen to you: with an open mouth or with clenched teeth? Maybe he frowns, looks around, looks away? By carefully looking at the expression on your interlocutor's face, you can evaluate in a completely new way what he actually said. Every detail of a person’s facial expression can tell a lot of interesting things about him.

How does a person who is able to understand others and understand himself behave, applicable to the above four codes, i.e. someone with whom you want to deal, make friends, become close acquaintances, make a part of your life, and who, among other things, has something learn. Let me say right away that this description is average, it does not mean that you need to copy it and abandon your own individual characteristics. The best thing to do is to preserve your personality, but what you like and suits you can add to your collection of useful habits.

Speech code. Understanding, or as they are also called reliable, people willingly enter into conversation and speak politely and kindly. They tend to think before they speak, keep their word, and know what they are talking about and what they are doing. They do not skimp on compliments and say them from the heart. Understanding people are not inclined to talk about bad things and find the good side in any situation. With all this, they are sincere and honest, wherever possible.

Trustworthy people take responsibility for their actions and speak and act accordingly. They accept people as they are and do not try to judge anyone. Understanding people willingly share information with others and always make sure that the conversation is useful for all its participants. Their manner of communication speaks of modesty, simplicity and lack of self-importance. They have a good sense of humor, but do not make fun of others or try to say things that might humiliate another person. They speak to the essence of the conversation, directly and clearly, trying to avoid ambiguity. They are excellent listeners, helping the other person to show their best side. Understanding people value communication and sincerely show their affection to people.

Voice code. The manner of speech of understanding people allows them to express a variety of feelings. When they discuss something, their tone expresses the emotions appropriate to the occasion. If they are upset, happy, scared or worried, it will immediately show in their voice. The timbre and volume of their voices change depending on the topic being discussed. Reliable people pronounce their words clearly and clearly and have an expressive voice. You can hear cheerfulness and optimism in him, and in his manner of speech you can feel the strength that forces your interlocutors to listen carefully.

Body language code. Trustworthy people move freely and carry themselves in a way that allows people to see their willingness to communicate without feeling awkward. When talking, they often lean towards the interlocutor and are not afraid to touch him. They like to nod to encourage a person and show him their interest. Trustworthy people always adopt a comfortable posture, but also maintain good posture, holding their heads high, shoulders back, and not hunched over. With hand movements they know how to show their interest or emphasize a particular idea. When gesturing, they show their palms to the interlocutor and keep their fingers straight, demonstrating that they have nothing to hide. When sitting, understanding people spread their legs freely or place them one on top of the other, which also indicates their openness. The feet are pressed firmly to the ground and look towards the interlocutor.

Facial expression code . When talking, understanding people are happy to look a person straight in the eyes and not look around. Their interlocutor feels that for them in the whole world there is no one more important than him. Trustworthy people usually have a calm and open facial expression, indicating their willingness to communicate. They have lively facial expressions, a slight smile on their face, and the lower part remains relaxed when they talk and listen. If they smile, it is only sincerely, because when they smile, the tips of their lips rise, and wrinkles appear around their eyes, and they infect those around them with their fun. The facial expression matches what they are about to express in words. If they are upset, you will immediately feel it not only in their tone, but also in their facial expression. When reliable people like someone, their pupils dilate and they start smiling all the time.

(Based on materials from the book Lillian Glass "I Read Your Mind")

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Does it seem like your interlocutor is from another planet? Do you want to get to know your new friend better? Or maybe they stopped understanding their old friend? There are ways to approach others and find out what they really want. We won't teach you how to read minds, but we will tell you how to understand a person

Put yourself in his place

If people put themselves in each other's shoes, there would be no conflicts, misunderstandings, or wars in the world. This sounds, of course, utopian, because is it possible to think about others in all situations? The answer is clear and truthful - no. But, if we want to know how to understand a person, we will have to put ourselves in his position. You need to ask yourself questions:

What would I do in his place?
What influences my actions and decisions?
What feels good to me and what doesn’t?

If we manage to see the world through the eyes of another, we will learn not only how to understand it, but we will also be able to predict subsequent actions.

Trust your intuition

It happens that the heart, contrary to reason, is disposed towards another. He seems close, pleasant, “one of us.” Sometimes, on the contrary, external signs characterize a person as an ideal person, but being near him is torture. Trusting your intuition is how to understand a person if practically nothing is known about him.

To make an unconscious conclusion, you need to turn off logic and listen to the emotions that arise when you see a person.

Find out the maximum

The “Iceberg Theory” finds its practical adaptation in each of us. Its essence is this: the tip of the iceberg above the water is what we see and know about a person. And the rest of the ice block is at the bottom of the sea depths. In it - hidden meaning, past, going into subtext. The underwater part of the iceberg contains the answer to the question “How to understand a person?” If we see it, we will solve it.

To grasp the connection between actions, to understand ulterior motives, you need to try to fill out the form. It will become the dossier of the person of interest.

Biographical facts
Field of activity, place of work
Hobbies, interests
Details of personal life
Reading, musical interests
Weaknesses, secrets
State of health
Circle of friends
Relationships with parents and relatives
Habits, addictions

Observe behavior

To find out how to unravel and understand a person, you need to take a closer look at his usual behavior. Facial expressions, manner of voice, style of clothing will tell a lot about him.

Speech

Words and facial expressions must match each other. If something is wrong, dissonance will appear. You should trust the facial expression more than the meaning of what was said. It is necessary to take into account intonation, slips of speech, tempo of speech, and confidence in the voice.

Facial expressions

How to understand a person and find out how he feels? Carefully watch how the muscles on his face contract. For example:

The eyelids are slightly lowered, the lips are restrained - sadness.

The eyes are squinted, the cheeks are slightly red - pain.

The nose is wrinkled, the edge of the lip is raised - disgust.

The jaw is clenched, the cheekbones are “playing” - irritation, anger.

Eyes downcast, cheeks pale - uncertainty, fear.

Having studied the prevailing emotions, we can draw a conclusion about the emotional-volitional state.

Gait

A self-confident person is easily recognized by his even gait and forward-looking gaze. Secretive people put their hands in their pockets in any weather.

Constantly looking around and fussiness indicate fear, timidity, and pessimism.

If someone aggressively imposes his walking pace on us, it means that he does not intend to give in or compromise. Those who seem to push their companions in one direction are accustomed to imposing their opinion.

People walk with their heads down, trying to hide their excitement.

Sight

Numerous studies have proven that the reaction of the pupils, unlike, for example, a smile, cannot be controlled. They, receiving a signal from the brain, expand independently when we feel joy, delight, fear or sexual arousal. Our pupils constrict if we feel anger, hatred or irritation.

Posture and gestures

If the interlocutor, without noticing it, copies our pose, it means he respects us and is ready to fulfill the request. Tilt of the body and head forward indicates the interlocutor's interest. Crossed arms or legs indicate reluctance to communicate, internal discomfort, and closedness.

Hairstyle, condition of shoes and clothes will tell about cleanliness, neatness, style, and financial condition.

Check

Vladimir Vysotsky knew how to understand a person. He offered to take a friend to the mountains to test his stamina, endurance, friendship, and human qualities. After all, the best way to get to know another is to find yourself in an unexpected or difficult situation with him, to spend a long time on the road, or to encounter some kind of force majeure.

The ancient sages, to whom brides and grooms turned for opinions about their chosen ones, recommended going on a long journey with their loved ones. They said that if the relationship remained warm after him, it was worth getting married. And if a quarrel replaces a quarrel, then it is better not to rush into marriage.

You can find out what kind of person a person really is if:

Seeing how he communicates with the staff - intelligent people control themselves, selfish people and those who have complexes, shows arrogance.
Lending him money is the definition of punctuality.
Throw a cup of coffee on him and he will be surprised to show his real self.
Gossip about his friends - if he supports the gossip in order to please him, then it is possible that you will be the next object of discussion.
Telling a secret - as you know, the ability to keep secrets is more valuable than gold.

Sometimes you can, after living with a person for ten years, realize that we don’t understand him at all. What then? Break up because they turned out to be strangers? Moving away without trying to change anything? Or still find out how to understand a person you have known for 100 years? We will tell you how to maintain a warm relationship, and you can always have time to break pots.

Learn to listen

It happens that behind our voice, instructions and problems, the quiet whisper of those around us turns into silence. Sometimes just listening is enough to understand. Without interrupting, without blaming. Words can be confusing and cause misunderstanding, but you need to absorb them like a sponge. Later, like chaotically scattered puzzles, they will fit into one picture.

Look objectively

Towards compilation psychological portrait you need to approach with an open mind. After all, how can you truly understand a person if you have a long-established image before your eyes? Thus, parents of excellent students cannot believe that their son smoked during recess, because they know how many diplomas their child has received and how neatly he organizes his briefcase.

Soviet psychologists asked two groups of people to describe a person from a photograph. The first group was casually told that there was a killer in the photo. And the second group of subjects believed that they were describing a valiant hero. In fact, everyone had their point of view imposed on them. This is proven by the result, because the first group saw a proud and arrogant person, and the second group saw an honest and courageous person.

Don't give in to stereotypes

We do not know how to understand a person if his actions do not fit within our own framework of worldview, a moral boundary. But all people are different and their views on life are also different. Boys don't have to like fighting, and girls don't have to like baking pies. The same applies to the gap between generations, because misunderstanding almost always stands between fathers and children.

Don't push

Reproaches like “I can’t understand you” or “How to understand a person who doesn’t give you such an opportunity!” we will only make it worse. Not only will they not want to open up to us, but they will avoid talking to us for a long time, veiling their real feelings.

It is better to communicate your efforts to share other people's feelings.

Compare

Comparing people with each other is not always useful, but comparing a person with himself in the past and present is a good method. To understand another, you need to track changes in him. By observing new habits, learning about your current social circle, listening to music in his player, you can at least guess what the other person is feeling now, what his thoughts are.

We told you how to understand a person, find out the hidden motives of his behavior and test his strength. Remember that your loved ones should be given time, and new acquaintances should be examined. At least before opening. Follow our tips to make understanding a habit in your relationships with people.

Instructions

Pay attention to words and intonation. Of all the components, they are the most obvious and intuitively perceived by the interlocutor. However, despite their apparent simplicity, these components of behavior are the most insidious. Very often what is said does not correspond to what a person really feels.

Study the facial expression of your interlocutor. There are many nuances of facial expressions that help determine a person’s mood. Raised eyebrows are an expression of surprise, and their sharp reduction speaks of aggressiveness, tension, and thoughtfulness. Facial asymmetry often indicates skepticism, doubt, and in some cases expresses over the interlocutor.

See how the other person looks at you. Avoidance of the visual may indicate embarrassment, or the person feels when speaking in this topic. On the contrary, excessively long eye contact indicates possible anger, aggression or an attempt to use psychological protection. People tend to look into the eyes of their interlocutor when they listen to him, and not when they speak. If a person tries not to look at you at all, it is quite possible that he is hiding something.

Watch your hands. Open hands indicate trust and openness between interlocutors. On the contrary, crossed arms or legs, clasped fingers are an attempt to defend, a closed position. Arms crossed on the chest is a strong position that emphasizes the unshakability of a person’s opinion. Remember, this is exactly the gesture that teenagers choose when they listen to the moral teachings of their elders.

Take a closer look at your gait. A person who walks quickly and at the same time gestures with his hands has a clear goal and feels enough strength to realize it. If a person keeps his hands in his pockets, even when it’s warm outside, he is secretive and likes to suppress others. An unbuttoned jacket speaks of openness and complete trust. The position of the hands while walking on the hips will indicate a person prone to impulsive actions. A shuffling gait is an expression of uncertainty and confusion.

Human pose. You should not perceive your interlocutor as a combination of individual elements of facial expressions; take a closer look at how pronounced the correspondence of individual gestures is to each other and general situation the interlocutor's body as a whole. For example, locked arms and a crossed leg indicate the subject’s critical attitude towards what is happening. Flirting poses are also easily recognizable - for men, these are legs wide apart in a standing position, index fingers tucked behind a belt. For women, this is a hand resting on a leg, a gracefully arched back.

note

Human psychology very complex and mysterious. People don't always say what they really mean.

They are forced to hide their true feelings various conditions: fear of losing a job or friendship, desire to gain benefits, etc.

In order to understand the true intentions of an individual, it is enough to study the basics nonverbal communication, that is, the language of gestures and facial expressions.

You will find basic NLP methods of influencing people with examples in ours.

What it is?

Body language, gestures and facial expressions refer to means of nonverbal communication.

It has been scientifically proven that a person can speak up to 40 thousand words every day.

However, it is very difficult to communicate only with words. Gestures and facial expressions reinforce human speech, and sometimes completely replace it.

Nonverbal communication is involuntary, it cannot be controlled. Therefore, an attentive interlocutor will always be able to notice falsehood in communication. Gestures and facial expressions contain the following types of signs:

Physiological. This is redness, trembling, excitement and other reactions that are not subject to consciousness.
Unconscious gesticulation: shaking the leg, rubbing the face, etc.
Conscious signals: gestures, facial expressions used to convey information.

Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication in psychology is called non-verbal communication, that is, communication using facial expressions, gestures, intonation, and body movements.

Knowledge of nonverbal language allows you not only to better understand your interlocutor, but also to find out his attitude to what was said even before he expresses it in words.

Thus, non-verbal communication performs the following functions:

Nonverbal communication is of the following types:

Kinesic. This is a unique set of gestures, poses, and facial expressions that must be interpreted unambiguously. These signs are an expression of a particular culture.
Tactile signs. These are touches that are used in fairly close communication (friendly, loving, professional).
Sensory perception. Communication is based on the perception of smells, tastes, colors, etc.
. Involves the expression of voice timbre, intonation, and rhythm of speech when communicating.
Proxemics. Communication is assessed in terms of the distance between interlocutors. Distance can be personal, professional and public.

In everyday communication, a person tries to understand his interlocutor, first of all, by gestures and facial expressions. The science that studies such communication is called physiognomy.

Ambiguous body language

Why is body language ambiguous?

In the process of communication, a person perceives not individual words or gestures, but complete picture.

What the interlocutor is not saying can be understood by his facial expression or movements.

However, sign language not always clear. For example, crossed arms in psychology mean secrecy and distance. But a person can simply freeze, so he wraps his arms around himself.

If a person rubs his nose or forehead, this is interpreted as him lying. But he may just have a headache or an itchy nose. Yawning is not always a sign that you are bored. Perhaps there is simply not enough oxygen in the room.

Also, many scammers have learned to use nonverbal means to deceive. A sincere and open look, a smile bribes the victim and misleads him.

At the same time, a person in an unfamiliar environment may behave stiffly and strictly, and may hide under arrogance, but this does not indicate his bad attitude towards others.

The meaning of gestures

Interpret gestures and facial expressions correctly you can learn.

This will require some experience and theoretical knowledge.

If we discard some nuances, then in psychology there is a certain interpretation of gestures and facial expressions, by which one can draw conclusions about the interlocutor and his attitude.

Human leader

A leader can always be identified by his non-verbal characteristics. His gestures are always unambiguous, precise and expressive.

Basic psychological signs of a leader:

Firm handshake. Hand confident person always ends up on top, he is the first to finish the handshake.
Various attributes. Leaders very often hold a pen in their hand with which they point.
Gestures of dominance. If a leader crosses his arms, his thumbs will always point up. This is a testament to his leadership position.
Clear and monosyllabic gestures. A confident person never picks his nose, rubs his forehead, or straightens his clothes. His movements are clear and monosyllabic.

Signs of deceit

How to detect a lie by facial expressions and gestures? That the interlocutor is insincere, certain signs indicate:

Rubbing your nose and eyes while talking.
Relaxation of scarf, collar.
Averting your eyes to the side. A sincere interlocutor always looks another person in the eye.
A trembling, uncertain voice or, on the contrary, rapid speech, as if in a rote manner.
An involuntary smile is out of place, which betrays excitement.
Fussy movements, shifting objects on the table.

Communication between a man and a woman

Perhaps most often, nonverbal means of communication are used in communication between a man and a woman. This happens unconsciously, because people liking each other, express it in words.

Some gestures and facial expressions are innate; they were used by distant ancestors to attract the opposite sex.

Ways to express male sympathy

What are a man's gestures if he likes you?

Men are secretive and shy creatures. Often they do not express their sympathy for a woman out of modesty or fear of rejection.

A woman can understand that she is by the following non-verbal signs:

Constant presence nearby. In some incomprehensible way, he finds himself in the right place at the right time to help.
Smile when meeting. If you like a girl, then a man cannot contain his joy when he sees her.
Observation. Men love with their eyes, so they constantly look at the object of their affection. However, upon seeing that he is caught, the young man looks away out of embarrassment.
Changing speech. A person in love will speak hesitantly, stammer or speak out of place.
Nervous behavior. When communicating, a man will fidget with his tie, rearrange objects on the table, and straighten his clothes.
Reduced voice tone.
Violation of personal space. A man tries to be closer to a woman, to touch her. He strives to help pack things and give coats.

Reading Women's Secrets

Women are much more likely than men to use body language and facial expressions. This happens due to the belief that a girl should not be the first.

Therefore, they often send various signs, provoking young man for the first step. She sends some signs unconsciously, while others quite consciously.

However, especially shy girls will hide your attitude in every possible way. You can understand that they have warm feelings for a man by some signs:

avoiding meetings, looking away;
deliberate rudeness, demonstration of indifference.

Examples of signs

Why does a person gesture when talking? To understand people and establish interpersonal relationships It is important to know what gestures mean. If an individual during a conversation gesticulates vigorously, this means his emotional mood.

He is trying to enhance the meaning of his speech, to convey information to people's consciousness. Gestures are usually used when words alone are not enough.

Arms open for a hug signal a joyful mood. Aggression expressed through sharp short movements.

Basic speaking gestures used when communicating:

Sign language very versatile and interesting. It helps to better understand your opponent, build trust, or prevent danger.

After analyzing the movements and facial expressions of an individual, you can easily calculate his next actions. Non-verbal communication is often used by scammers and swindlers.

However, everyone can apply the acquired knowledge in ordinary life. You should also reconsider your own habits. Perhaps the manner of keeping your hands in your pockets does not mean anything, but the interlocutor can interpret it incorrectly.

Have you ever wondered why it is pleasant and easy for us to communicate with one person, while he may turn out to be a complete stranger, a stranger, a simple stranger, and with another it can be tense? There is a desire to quickly leave or turn away. Despite the fact that this may be your old acquaintance or a neighbor whom you have known for many years, who is always polite and courteous.

However, at some instinctive level we understand that this person is insincere. That is why we experience conflicting feelings: on the one hand, nothing bad was done to us and we have no visible reasons to feel hostility, on the other hand, all our feelings say that we should stay away from this acquaintance.

The described phenomenon in human relationships is explained by such a field of knowledge of practical psychology as the psychology of behavior, which allows one to interpret non-verbal behavior - gestures, facial expressions, intonations and other external manifestations of another person and, based on an assessment of the totality of these factors, draw a conclusion about how truthful it is, sincere, open, confident, etc.

Sometimes we make such an assessment unconsciously, and it is then that we may not feel very comfortable and even feel guilty towards our friend for avoiding communication. However, in fact, we evaluate his non-verbal manifestations, which signal to us that the person does not think about us, how he treats us, although his words can be completely neutral and even friendly.

The psychology of human behavior has a number of ways to assess a person’s true intentions, his level of self-esteem, and the emotions he experiences. As we have already said, the set of his movements, facial expressions and other features reveals his subconscious attitudes, fears, complexes - everything that we catch on a subconscious level or, with the appropriate knowledge and experience, can evaluate quite consciously.

Usually we perceive the communication process not as a set of sequential individual moments, but as a whole picture. Sometimes during communication we may not notice what the interlocutor is wearing or what he is saying, but we react to how he speaks, how he expresses himself, what words he uses, what position he sits in, what he holds in his hands. Sometimes some small, seemingly inconspicuous detail firmly and reliably “sticks” into our attention (consciously or not): smell, defects or peculiarities of speech, accent, inappropriate laughter, slips of the tongue, etc.

It is precisely such small and sometimes unconscious nuances in people’s behavior that reveal their true intentions and thoughts, what they want to hide or embellish, that the psychology of behavior helps to explain, systematize and decipher.

What facial expressions and gestures can tell us

Facial expressions and gestures play an important role in the conversation process. However, despite the apparent simplicity and ease of memorization of “decodings” of certain gestures or postures of a person, they can have a completely direct meaning and not talk about anything that we can suspect our interlocutor of based on our “knowledge”.

Many have heard and know more than once that if the interlocutor touches his nose and does not look into his eyes, it means he is lying or hiding something. However, a person may touch his nose because it itches, for example.

Behavioral psychology can interpret crossed arms and/or legs as closedness, tightness, and mistrust. However, a person may simply be cold, so he wraps his arms around himself and crosses his legs.

Popular advice on interpreting gestures and mannerisms can often lead to dead ends and even put a person in an awkward position. Behavioral psychology, like any other type of knowledge, implies the ability to correctly assess, analyze and interpret people's behavior on the basis of deep theoretical knowledge, as well as good practical skills.

Otherwise, after reading about an open posture, a sincere look and a confident and calm voice, you may mistake a person with fraudulent intentions for an honest one: after all, criminals of this kind are excellent psychologists and know how to find the key to almost any person. And how sincerely and truthfully they can speak! Or the so-called pick-up artists: so much charm and sincerity, wit, gallantry - and all just to assert themselves in their masculine abilities.

Of course, calm, confident, broad gestures can speak of a person’s openness, strength, and self-confidence, while shifting eyes and covering one’s mouth with one’s hand when speaking can indicate dishonesty, anxiety, etc.

Facial wrinkles in the mouth area or the shape of the lips may indicate that such a person is cheerful, smiles very often, and therefore the corners of his mouth will be raised upward.

Speech - its speed, rhythm, volume and intonation - is also an object that behavioral psychology views as significantly influencing communication.

It helps to perceive emotional condition interlocutor. A calm, reasonable person speaks slowly, rhythmically, in a voice of medium volume. An emotional, impulsive interlocutor speaks quickly and animatedly. A person who is insecure and withdrawn has quiet, weak, and sometimes confused speech.

Often words are not as important as the intonation with which they are pronounced. Words can be completely neutral, even banal. But how a person says them, in what setting and in connection with what events, can tell a lot to an attentive observer.

However, it should be understood that any person who finds himself in an unfamiliar environment can behave completely differently than in a familiar environment. The psychology of human behavior makes it possible to determine many hidden factors that actually guide a person, but for this you need to be sufficiently “savvy” with knowledge and be attentive to people.

If behavioral psychology is an opportunity for you to learn to understand people, then, of course, you can start with yourself. After all, no matter what knowledge you have in this area, if you yourself are not self-confident, emotionally unstable, suspicious, suspicious, you are unlikely to be able to correctly apply your knowledge in practice. It is human nature to project our thoughts, feelings and motives onto the actions, feelings and motives of others. We all do this to one degree or another; projection is one of the common personality defense mechanisms.

Therefore, if you are interested in the psychology of behavior, then you should learn to be impartial in assessing people, to be able to separate your projections on them from what they actually do and think.

We can certainly say that behavioral psychology will become accessible and effective for you in your relationships with others when you gain self-confidence, get rid of fears (of communication, relationships), work through your subconscious beliefs about yourself and others, learn to be attentive to others and find inner balance. Then you will truly be able to objectively judge others and what lies behind their outer appearances.