How to respond to a person if he insults you. React to rudeness correctly: non-standard behavior and phrases that will confuse the boor. How to replace obscenities with smart words

When faced with rudeness, you always want to respond to the offender. In a fit of anger, we often do not control our feelings and emotions. This can cause a number of negative consequences. The simplest outcome of them is a quarrel, and the most negative is a fight. But, you must admit, to suffer yourself and humiliate yourself to assault just because your interlocutor is in a bad mood is, at the very least, stupid.

The most correct thing in such a situation is to answer the offender calmly and confidently, but in such a way as to put the boor in his place. To do this tactfully, without spending extra effort and energy, there are special preparations - daring phrases.

Who is this boor?

This is an aggressor who attacks and violates your personal boundaries. He tries to hurt the most painful places and at the same time avoid revenge. Scientific information indicate that such a person is, in fact, a pitiful person with low self-esteem who wants to assert himself at the expense of those who have been offended or ridiculed by him. Here's what you need to know when faced with a boor. Understand and forgive, or even take pity on an insignificant person, or respond with a witty phrase, smiling good-naturedly (not sarcasticly!).

Examples of situations when anger cannot be contained

A decent-looking person who is a boor can be found today at every step. Often the most common places where it is located are the following:

1. Trading platforms. The favorite place of a bored, angry person is, of course, a market or a supermarket. In some cases, a pharmacy is popular. Firstly, you can go there as an excursion and be outraged to your heart's content, studying the prices on the shelves. Secondly, hanging out in the crowd is also a nice thing for them. And all this, of course, is accompanied by unpleasant comments addressed to passers-by. By the way, store sellers also like to be rude.

2. Public transport. The favorite place of all boors is the crowd. And where else can you enjoy disturbances as much as in the crush of traffic during rush hour? There you pushed, here - you. And as a result, for example, we have a heatedly screaming woman who throws out her anger at everyone who tries to argue with her. And God forbid you surpass her in this honed skill.

3. Clinic. Government agency, where you absolutely have to stand in line, also knows daring people. This could be an impudent person who will try to skip the line. But then he will receive a good verbal thrashing from the people waiting in line, among whom boors may also be hiding.

4. Places of study. Adolescence is famous for the “painful” growing up of children. How is it shown? Impudent phrases addressed to teachers, bickering in lessons at school, lyceums. Teenagers cannot give an objective assessment of what is happening. It seems to them that they already know everything, and adults are a little behind them. Unfortunately, rudeness and impudent phrases in the lessons of high school students are quite commonplace. The teacher can put the student in his place, gaining authority in his eyes, or not pay attention to what he “outgrows” by itself.

Daring phrases and expressions: examples

And it’s true that we are all interested in speculating on topics that don’t concern us at all.
You shouldn't expect any good from a person who is difficult to cheer up.
I know that crooks achieve success, but not because of their own intelligence, as they believe, but because of the gullible people around them. And to lie, you don’t need intelligence. Working honestly is a skill.
I’m terribly embarrassed to tell you this, but I’m not at all interested in how I look in your eyes, forgive me. I look great in mine, and that's enough.

What is the level of development, so are the interests.
You are so low in communication that, frankly, you are not even visible on the horizon.
Please continue. When you say things like that, I feel so smart.
Sorry, but you smell a bad odor coming from your mouth.
Maybe I can bring you another drum?
With such tirades you can only stand in the corner.
If you are angry, then you yourself know that you are wrong.
IN in this case your emotions are not identified with the conclusions of your thinking.
If you don't like me, I allow you to go underground.

Sassy phrases for girls

If a girl does not want to communicate with a guy, but cannot get rid of his pestering, or vice versa, she is struggling with his rudeness, perhaps she should use some phrases.

For example:

Your time in my life is over. Hand in your pass and head out.
If you fell in love with me, it's your mistake, all you can achieve is my smile.
Dear, you are right - there have never been people like you, there are no more and there is no need.
What I should do, I know, it’s written in the Constitution. The rest is up to me as I want.
I'm doing great, so I have nothing to please you with.
Aren't you the one who starred in the movie "Clowns"?
I'm not picky, just the best is enough for me.

What about the guys?

Not only girls suffer from annoying boors. Let's look at some sassy phrases for guys. They can use these statements in response to the rudeness of their peers:

You're not beautiful enough to be rude to me.
If you say that, then most likely you have a spare jaw in your pocket.
Kiss me on the run, I'm standing behind a tree.
You may be the most beautiful girl in our area, but I’m also interested in communicating with smart people.

So, the first foundation has been laid. Now you know how to respond to rudeness. But under no circumstances should you parry these statements in front of an innocent person. Otherwise you will find yourself in the role of a boor.

Each of us faces rudeness from time to time. Some people observe its manifestation from the outside, while others constantly have to listen to rude and offensive words addressed to them.

OFFICEPLANKTON understood how to effectively respond to rudeness and respond to rudeness in general.

It's not such a shame to forget at home the right thing How offensive it is to hear rude, unfounded words addressed to you. It is not as hard to complete a new task as it is to work in a scandalous atmosphere where everyone is shouting and being rude to each other.

It is known that someone else’s aggression is always transformed into self-aggression, hence the bad mood, decreased self-esteem, performance, etc.

How to protect yourself from foreign aggression and react correctly to rudeness?

To answer this question, it is necessary to understand the reasons for rudeness. There are several of them, and for each of them you can offer different response options. So let's start with the first reason.

Weak psychological constitution of a person

You've probably noticed that almost no one is rude to some people, while others constantly get bullied? Many boors have remarkable intuition and powers of observation. They choose their victims according to the principle of strength and weakness: “This one has a sharp tongue, it’s better not to mess with him, but you can have some fun with this one. He’ll probably say something absurd in response.”
The last category includes people with low self-esteem, overly cultured and educated people, people with an increased sense of guilt, who are afraid of accidentally offending another, as well as people who avoid conflicts and conflict situations.

How to react correctly?

Before getting into fights with offenders, you need to work on your self-esteem, self-confidence and inner strength. After all, it is almost impossible for a strong person to be rude.

Calm Method

When dealing with such offenders, never show that you are confused. Express your point of view honestly, firmly and openly. Don't be defensive or defensive! Speak calmly and relaxed. Boors are cowards, they are not used to frankness and calmness. They need to piss you off in order to feed off your energy. Don't give them such joy.
How to respond to rudeness: responses to offensive phrases

Example:
The conductor on the bus: “Why are you giving me 500 rubles? I don't have any change! I’ll drop you off now!”
The opponent, in a serious but calm tone: “What, excuse me?”
Conductor: “No change!”
Opponent: “I have a long way to go. I would be very grateful if you are able to change the bill."

Method "Psychological Aikido"

It consists of using the enemy’s energy against himself. It is necessary to agree with the “criticism” of the enemy (sometimes this needs to be done several times), as a result of which the situation is brought to the point of absurdity or becomes very funny. And don’t forget to praise the boor – it will pay off in spades!

Example:
A nervous patient (NP) in the clinic to a second patient (VP): “What, no eyes? Don't you see, there's a queue! Where are you going? The smartest one?"
VP: “I really don’t have eyes. How attentive you are. And I, being the smartest one, jumped in without waiting in line.”
NP (taken aback): “I’m standing like everyone else...”
VP: “Yes, you are standing like everyone else. It’s not like me – I jump in line.”

Usually two or three evasions from an attack are enough. Ham falls into a state of psychological grogginess - he is confused and disoriented. If by this time the audience is already dying of laughter, it will be easier for you. The boor retreats faster and will no longer take risks.
The peculiarity of the method is that it requires a lot of practice and effort, as it requires breaking one’s own patterns of behavior.

Method "Humor"

When a person wants to say something bad, he takes in air into his lungs. If you make him laugh at this moment, he will relax. Accompany your joke with a smile, you can even praise your opponent.

Example:
The secretary came to the director during a meeting to bring tea. But she failed. Her heel caught on the carpet and she slammed to the floor, knocking over all the cups. Seeing the director’s face turning purple with anger, the secretary blurted out: “You are so stunning!” Everyone in the room immediately laughed.

Method "Statement"

Sometimes a simple statement of the fact “You are a boor” is enough to silence the interlocutor. But you can approach the situation creatively.

Example:
Buyer: “Please give me some vitamins... I forgot what they are called. These are these,” he points to the display case.
Seller: “Do you, by any chance, need memory pills?”
Buyer: “What about you? From rudeness?

"Sneeze" method

It is suitable as a response to a long, rude monologue.

If your opponent is letting off steam on you for a long time and tediously and cannot stop, help him with this. Listen to him with a calm look until the boor is convinced that he is the master of the situation, and you will remain silent. And then sneeze loudly and demonstratively. And into the pause that arises, insert the phrase: “Sorry, I’m allergic to nonsense.” And with an extremely polite look, ask: “So where did you stop?”

Other effective responses to offensive phrases:

"This is all?" or “So what?”
“I had a better opinion of you”
“Should I answer politely or tell you the truth?”
“I thought that artistry doesn’t suit you”
“Why do you always try to look worse than you really are?”
“I have absolutely no time to cherish your complexes”
"I'm sorry, what? You probably misspoke?”

This is another common reason for rudeness and rudeness. Despite the fact that we live in the 21st century, many people prefer communication that is not typical for a civilized person. Such people are accustomed to constantly being rude, and other models of behavior are of little interest to them.

Method “Persistent politeness and angelic patience”

The main rule of dealing with such boors is politeness, goodwill and patience. You cannot be provocative, be charged with the energy of a boor, or become a follower. Do not forget that a rude person is waiting for retaliatory aggression, and when he does not receive it, he falls into a trance. Politeness and a smile unsettle him, force him to communicate in a different, unusual scenario for him. This gives you the opportunity to control the situation. Sometimes a boor is fixated on the negative, then you can speak to him just as politely, but louder than usual. The non-standard nature of the situation will also silence the boor.

Example:
Seller: “Man, why are you digging around for so long? Will you take it or not?
Buyer: “Please show me that mug over there.”
Seller: “You’ve been standing here for half an hour already. I’m not your errand girl!”
Customer louder than usual: “Please show me that mug.”

The Boring Method

It is suitable for administrators of forums, groups on social networks, etc. It is known that many community members, knowing full well general rules, deliberately violate them, and then blow up the administrators’ personal accounts, expressing sincere disagreement with the fact that they were banned. When the arguments end, the rudeness begins.

Of course, you can ban a dissatisfied person in a personal message, but if you need to defend what’s right, try, without emotion, to describe in detail all the flaws of the offender. At first the interlocutor will let off steam in the hope of having fun, but when faced with dry official language, he will get bored and fall behind.

Example:
Participant: “Why was I banned? This is arbitrariness! Then write on the page: “We do what we want, we ban whoever we want!”
Administrator: “You violated paragraph 2 of such and such’s rules. According to the forum rules, you have been banned for 2 weeks.”
Participant: “I didn’t violate anything and my photos are normal! You’re the one nitpicking there, you don’t understand anything about photographs, so don’t interfere!”
Administrator: “For insulting the administration, your ban will be extended for another 2 weeks.”

“Shocking” method (for an amateur)

To combat stereotypical rudeness, the method of breaking patterns is well suited, and speaking in simple language– shocking. You can prepare a couple of phrases in advance that are completely irrelevant to the matter. And in order to shock the interlocutor, in response to the question “Will you buy or not?” you can ask: “Can you tell me how the series ended yesterday?”

The methods described above are also good: “Psychological Aikido”, “Humor” and “Statement”.

“It’s a pity that you can’t respond to this with originality.”
“For some reason I don’t want to talk to you”
“I don’t like the people you’re trying to portray.”
“I appreciated the depth of your thoughts. Thank you"
“I appreciated your joke. Thank you"
“Thank you for being so attentive to my personality”
“Not exactly witty, but something”
“Witty and funny” (after moving on to another topic of conversation, getting distracted by something or someone, leaving the room)

The offender's fear of you

Most boors are weak people with low self-esteem and pronounced envy. As soon as they realize that you have achieved more in life than them, their fear of competition immediately awakens in them. They mask this fear with an excellent ability to be rude.

Method “Taking care of the hedgehog”

Imagine a hedgehog that released its thorns out of fear. On the one hand, the hedgehog is angry and prickly, and on the other, small and scared. As soon as you take care of it, it will soften, hide its thorns and puff contentedly, drinking milk from a saucer.

So it is with the offender. Take a condescending and compassionate position. Praise him, give him a friendly pat on the shoulder, give in, let him win a game or two, wish him all the most beautiful things that exist in this world. After all, it’s not at all difficult to do. Having calmed down, the offender will no longer be afraid of you and, most likely, will understand that in addition to hostile competition, there is peaceful coexistence and partnership.

The “Psychological Aikido” and “Calm” methods also help well. We do not recommend the following methods: “Humor”, since envious people do not understand jokes well; “Sneezing”, since envious people have increased sensitivity, and this can only aggravate aggression.

Other effective responses to offensive phrases:
“Sometimes life doesn’t work out. But you will succeed"
"Of course of course. Come on in. May you be lucky today” (this helps when someone is pushing and jumping in line)
“Rudeness suits no one, least of all you”
“It looks like this is not your role. What do you really need?
“Thank you for being so attentive to my person”
“Do you want to offend me? What's the point?
"This is all?"

Method "Ignore"

And the general method for all causes of rudeness is “Ignoring”. After all, sometimes being silent is good, safe and... beautiful. If you do not need anything from the offender, you are not psychologically ready to engage in a fight with him, or your offender, as it seems to you, is psychologically unhealthy, dangerous to life and health - use the “Ignoring” method.

How to respond to rudeness: responses to offensive phrases It is not without reason that popular wisdom says: “A fool shouts, but a smart man is silent,” “Of two arguing, the one who is smarter is wrong.” Boors always strive to win your attention, but they need to somehow feed on your energy. That’s why simply being ignored is one of the worst punishments for them.

It is important to note: ignoring must be correct. Without an offensive look or sad sighs. A boor should not mistake your ignorance for swallowing an insult, inability to respond or forgiveness. There shouldn't be any emotions. The offender is an empty place for you. You are a happy, successful person who has no time to notice such nonsense.

This is one of the first desires that arises after an insult. But a retaliatory attack is appropriate only if it:

witty;
happens among family or friends;
defuses the situation rather than aggravates the conflict.

In all other cases, even if you consider yourself a wit worse than Oscar Wilde, responding to insult with insult is not the best way. This way you stoop to the level of your boorish opponent and make it clear that his words hurt you, that is, there may be some truth in them.

2. Make a joke

The difference between a witty insult and a humorous response is that in the latter case, you are making fun of the situation itself. The advantages of this strategy are obvious: the insult loses its toxicity, tension, and the audience (if there is one) takes your side.

In this case, you can also take a pseudo-self-deprecating position. This will confuse your opponent and disguise the sarcasm.

Example 1: A colleague says you prepared an ugly presentation.

Answer: “Perhaps you are right. Next time I won’t ask my five-year-old son for help.”

Example 2: A stranger calls you names.

Answer: “Thank you, this is very valuable information. You opened my eyes to my shortcomings. There will be something to think about over lunch.”

3. Accept

In some cases, it is actually worth analyzing words that seem offensive to you. Especially if they come from people close and respected by you. In this case, take their remarks not as an insult, but as criticism that can make you better.

It would be a good idea to think about people's motives and find out what exactly made them use harsh language. Perhaps this is a violent reaction to your less than angelic behavior.

4. Respond to intent, not words.

Any insult always has a hidden purpose. Make the secret obvious: designate it.

For example, in response to rude words, say, “Wow! Something really serious happened between us, since you decided to hurt me.”

So, on the one hand, you can unsettle your opponent, and on the other, find out the reason for his negative attitude.

5. Stay calm

If the insult comes not from a loved one, but from a colleague, acquaintance, or even a stranger, never show that the words hurt you. Most likely, behind them lies uncertainty, dissatisfaction with one’s own life and a desire to simply take it out on you. Don't let the trick work, react calmly and with a smile.

If necessary, continue to pursue your line: ask what exactly caused such a reaction in the person, without paying attention to his words.

6. Ignore

Often the best answer is no answer. If we are talking about Internet trolls, you can simply not respond to their comments or send boors to. Well, “offline” you can always ignore the insult or leave. You have every right to do this.

An example from ancient Roman history... One day, in a public bath, someone hit the politician Cato. When the offender came to apologize, Cato replied: “I don’t remember the blow.”

This phrase can be interpreted as follows: “You are so insignificant that I not only do not care about your apology, but I did not even notice the insult itself.”

7. Use the law

You can hold the offender accountable, or at least threaten him with it. Punishment for insult is prescribed in the Code of Administrative Offences, but libel is already within the scope of criminal law. If you are insulted by your boss, you can contact the HR department.

The main thing is to remember: no one has the right to infringe on your honor, dignity and reputation. But you must answer people in the same way. Otherwise, any recommendations are meaningless.

Let's learn how to be rude beautifully or how to politely put people in their place!

For every force there is another force. When a person is full of anger and resentment, it is not always possible to remain silent in response to his foul language. Sometimes I want to answer. How to answer without losing your temper and without stooping to the level of your interlocutor?

1. To talk with you on the same level, I need to lie down!..

2. I don’t know what you eat for breakfast, but it really works! Intelligence tends to zero!

3. Just don’t take the headphones out of your ears. God forbid you chill your brain from the inside with a draft.

4. Should I see a psychologist? No, of course, thank you very much for your good advice, but you shouldn’t compare everyone to yourself.

5. You will open your mouth at the dentist.

6. To shock me, you will have to say something smart.

7. One more beep from your platform and your teeth will move.

8. So that you celebrate your wedding at McDonald's.

9. If it gave me pleasure to communicate with females, I would have had a dog long ago.

10. Mind like a shell.

11. Looking at you, I begin to understand that nothing human is alien to God. He has a great sense of humor.

12. Talk, talk... I always yawn when I'm interested!

13. You would decorate the world with your absence, before I took sin on my soul!

14. From positive qualities You only have the Rh factor.

15. I live opposite the cemetery. If you show off, you will live opposite me.

16. Is it you that everyone loves? Oh, well, yes, love is evil...

17. So that you could cover yourself with a teaspoon in the bathhouse!

18. – Girl, are you bored? - Not by that much…

19. Your right to own opinion does not oblige me to listen to nonsense.

20. – you can’t put “thank you” in your pocket. - you can carry it in your hands!!!

21. Hey, you little rose! The tulip is out of here, otherwise you’ll turn gray like a dahlia!

22. I came to you with greetings, with an iron and a gun

24. It is better to be silent intelligently than to speak stupidly

25. Is this a bunch of words, or do I need to think about it?

26. Sorry for not living up to your stereotypes.

27. In some heads thoughts come to die

28. Him: Shall we go to you or shall we go to me?
She: At the same time. You - to yourself, and I - to myself.

29. Has the verbal oil well dried up?

30. Madhouse on the road, psychos in nature!

31. What are you watching? Are you in a museum or something? Now I’ll arrange a cultural event for you in two acts without intermission! If I give you a slap, your head will fly off

32. What do you think, that if you yell at me louder, I will listen more quietly?

33. Now you can take your glasses home from me. In different pockets.

34. Your style of speech reminds me of the market talk of the distant nineties at the end of the last century.

35. And don't laugh! Laughing for no reason is a sign that a person is either an idiot or a pretty girl. If you want to convince me of the latter, first shave.

How to respond in specific situations. Examples!

1. Agree with the person who insults you. Classic:

- Yes, you are a complete fool and an idiot!
- Yes. I have a certificate too! Do you think it’s very smart to prove something to a fool?

- You're just a fool!
- Agree! This is because you constantly have to talk to fools.

– I’m not satisfied with your answers!
– What questions, such answers!

– Yes, I’m smarter than all of you combined!
- Certainly! After all, you are crazy. I wish I had a watchman for this shed...

2. Take a statement directed at you to the point of absurdity:

- Hey, slow down!
– I can’t, there must be only one brake. (It’s impossible, our pair already has one brake!)

- What are you doing?
- I'm doing it in my pants.

– Why are you scamming me now?
– And now who do you consider yourself to be, a bee or a rabbit?

3. Turn a negative statement into a positive one:

- You are a horse!
– If it weren’t for the suckers, where would you be now?

- There are only idiots around!
– Is it unusual for you to feel smart?

– What kind of phone is being grabbed when I’m talking to you?!
– I also prefer to talk to smart people!

4. Press the person “too weakly.” After all, no one likes to feel like a weakling:

– You’re dancing somehow crappy..
– I’m not dancing, I’m just moving my legs so you don’t crush me... (And you know how great I am at cross-stitching!)

-What are you babbling about?
- It’s strange, but others like my speech... Don’t you have a sense of beauty, or have hearing problems?

– Are you pretending to be smart?
– Do you have problems communicating with smart people?

5. What do you want?

- Well, why are you quiet?
– Did you already want to get to the surgeon’s table by this time?

- Well, who is brave here?
“You talk to me like that, as if your subscription to the emergency room is disappearing.”

- You are a simple housewife!
– Would you like me to be a currency prostitute?

We need to fight rudeness! If, when you are rude, you want to cry, then the interlocutor has achieved his goal. I have asserted myself at your expense and been strengthened by a considerable share of your energy! Do not encourage this behavior under any circumstances!

We have all heard insults directed at us and, out of surprise, we did not know how to react to them correctly. They started to be rude or cry out of resentment. Our psychologist gives some tips on how to intelligently respond to an insult to an offender. Gives examples of phrases that will help you get out of an unpleasant situation gracefully.

How to properly respond to an insult

First, let's talk about several types of correct reactions to insult.

Calm

Do not underestimate this tactic, because, as you know, the offender always feels satisfaction if he sees that the object of his nagging loses his composure or gets involved in a conflict. Show the offender that you are not offended by his opinion and that you are only a little surprised by the rudeness directed at you. If you sit at a computer or do physical work, without looking up, ask: “Are you having problems?” or "Are you talking to me?" Such a reaction in many cases cools the ardor of the offender, because his words did not bring the expected result. Plus: you will earn a reputation as a reasonable, calm and confident person. Politely responding to an insult means not stooping to the level of a boor.

Aikido

We do not advocate starting a fight and engaging in physical assault. Aikido is a psychological technique of transferring the negativity of your interlocutor onto himself. There are times when a boor does not limit himself to one phrase or humiliates you in the presence of the entire team; in such a situation, not answering anything is wrong. You must protect your honor and dignity, right? Use the Aikido technique, namely, thank the interlocutor for the time spent pointing out your shortcomings. Tell him that you wouldn’t do something like that for him because you don’t care. Make sure that your answers are not sarcastic, but must demonstrate the same steely calm that we talked about in the previous paragraph. End the conversation by saying that you will definitely think about your shortcomings tonight and try to do everything possible to improve. As a rule, such a reaction discourages the boor, and all witnesses to the conflict will definitely take your side!

Boringness

If you are significantly higher in intelligence than your abuser (and this is often the case), you may find the boring technique useful. For example, if a boor tells you: “Your desk is such a mess, it’s as if you evolved from a pig...”, respond to this insult with the following: technically, Darwin proved that pigs have nothing to do with the evolution of Homo sapiens back in the nineteenth century. I can give you a book to read about this so that you can have the correct data in the future." Agree, such an answer neutralizes the words of the offender and even puts him in an awkward position!

Ignoring

Not everyone can ignore an attack in their direction, and this is not always appropriate. But there are times when the insult is so petty that you just want to grin, saying, how narrow-minded and evil this person really is. Don't restrain yourself! Demonstrate a good mood in response to rudeness, show that you are not at all offended by boorish words, moreover, you do not take them seriously. Just don’t answer rudely, don’t insult in return, this is exactly what the boor expects from you.

What not to do when responding to an offender:

respond to rudeness with rudeness
raise your voice to your interlocutor
show weakness, cry

If up to this point you have not thought about your behavior in stressful situations, you may need some time to practice. Ask a person close to you to simulate several conflict situations and try on him the tactics for responding to rudeness that we have suggested to you.

How to respond to an insult correctly, smartly and beautifully

And now a few phrases that will help you respond to an insult smartly, beautifully and with humor:

"Sorry, is that all?"
"I had a better opinion of you"
"Rudeness doesn't suit you very well"
"Are you expecting a polite answer or the truth?"
"Why are you trying to look worse than you really are?"
“Like everyone else, I also have bad days. Don’t be upset, everything will be fine.”
“Yes, of course, go ahead. May luck be on your side” (in case someone jumps in line)
"This role doesn't seem to suit you. What do you really want?"
"Thank you for showing interest in me"
"Do you want to offend me? Why?"
"Rudeness is not at all necessary."

Now you know how to respond to an insult politely, nicely and smartly. We sincerely wish not to meet you at life path boors!