How to hold back your tears when you really want to cry. How to hold back your tears when you want to cry? How to learn to hold back tears and emotions from resentment, during a conversation, in a difficult situation? How not to cry at an important event

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We are all different and react differently to the world. Some almost burst into tears, while others you will never get a tear out of.Both extremes have their drawbacks. Crying for any reason - in front of friends, employees or complete strangers - is extremely unpleasant. On the other hand, experiencing all problems “dry” can lead to the accumulation of tension and even health problems. Psychologist Maria Pugacheva helped us figure out how to find a middle ground.

Why are we different?

The predisposition to shedding tears depends on a person’s personality: character, temperament, upbringing, metabolism and even memories. If a person associates a situation with an unpleasant memory or mental trauma, then it may well cause him to cry, although those around him will not see anything terrible in it.

It is practically impossible to do anything with this predisposition, just as it is impossible to change the type of temperament. “Tears are, first of all, a physiological reaction, a protective reaction to stress. There is very little psychology here, so learning to control tear production is almost impossible. But you can try to reduce the level of stress as much as possible at the moment of onset of crying, then there is a chance to stop the tears.”,” explained Maria Pugacheva.

I'm not crying!

People who cry often sometimes find themselves in situations where tears flow at the most inopportune moment. The boss unfairly scolded them, the trainer at the gym made a remark, or they were rude on the bus, and now they have a lump in their throat, their voice begins to tremble treacherously, their eyes become moist. But you don’t want to cry in front of strangers! But tears don’t care about what you want, they flow on their own, and this makes you even more hurt and makes you want to cry even more...

Maria Pugacheva gave some tips to help hold back tears that come at the wrong moment:

  • Drink plenty of water in large sips.
  • Take 5-10 deep breaths.
  • If possible, make some sudden, intense movements.
  • Induce a “pain response” in yourself by shifting stress from psychological to physiological. Subtly pinch yourself, bite your tongue a little, or pull a strand of hair. This method usually allows you to come to your senses fairly quickly.
  • Switch your brain from a stressful situation: start remembering poems, phone numbers, and multiplication tables in your mind.
  • If a specific offender brought tears to your eyes, do not feel sorry for yourself, but switch to him. Mentally laugh at him - think about his ridiculous habits or in your imagination dress him in a clown costume.

Crying is good for you

These techniques will help you hold back your tears in the right situation. But you shouldn’t try to do this all the time, because Psychologists say that crying is healthy.

"Tears are a kind of psychological release and physiological protection against stress. Therefore, there is no need to constantly restrain them. Feel free to cry over a movie or just to yourself at home. If we just quietly shed a tear, it’s a tiny release. And when we actively cry, we take a lot of deep breaths and exhalations, the chest contracts greatly. In this way, we throw off the negativity at the physiological level, giving ourselves the opportunity to avoid various psychosomatic pressures that can lead to osteochondrosis, radiculitis and other unpleasant diseases,”– explained Maria Pugacheva.

Do you often cry? Have you ever found yourself in uncomfortable situations because of this?

Sometimes it happens that tears come to your eyes at the most inopportune moment - someone has offended you, your bad mood has reached its peak, uninvited memories come flooding back... But it’s not always possible to immediately cry and let go of your soul - those around you are unlikely to appreciate public hysteria. How not to cry at the wrong time?

Tears are harder to hide from people than laughter.: If a fit of laughter can be disguised as a cough, then the tears flowing down your cheeks will give you away. But tears in a public place are not always appropriate. And if they are connected with the fact that someone offended you, then it is a matter of honor not to cry, because with tears you will show the offender that he has achieved his goal.

How not to cry if you really want to? The easiest way is unpleasant physical sensations. It is also used to. As soon as you feel like crying, bite your tongue or the inside of your lip or cheek. Or clench your fists so hard that your nails dig into your palm. Just don’t overdo it, otherwise you’ll still have to cry - only now from pain, and not from frustration.

But this way of not crying is not always effective. If possible, you need to eliminate the cause of your tears, and if this is impossible, then at least take your mind off it. For example, if your tears are caused by someone offending you or scolding you, you can try to imagine the offender in a funny way. Remember how in Harry Potter one of the students imagined the formidable Professor Snape in his grandmother's clothes? You need to do something similar. The main thing is not to go to the other extreme and not laugh.

If there is no specific reason for the tears - unpleasant memories just come flooding back or the mood itself is “unfortunate” for a combination of reasons, you need to somehow get distracted and think about something else. The hero of Krapivin’s book “Lullaby for a Brother” was advised by his grandfather: “When your throat scratches, remember the green baboon Jimmy.” You can follow his advice literally and actually imagine a green baboon to avoid crying.

In principle, anything can become your “Jimmy baboon”. Just try to be distracted by things that are fun and funny or at least neutral. If, while trying to distract yourself from one problem, you remember about a dozen others, this is unlikely to improve your emotional state.

Well don't forget breathe calmly and deeply, this will additionally help you not cry. After all, crying is not just tears accompanied by a certain emotional state. Crying is also accompanied by specific facial expressions, contractions of the diaphragm and changes in breathing (long inhalation and stepwise exhalation or vice versa), outwardly this manifests itself in sobs and sobs. So, even breathing may not help you hold back your tears, but it will save you from the more obvious manifestations of crying - sobbing and sobbing.

By the way, smoking helps some people, and the point here is not only that smoking itself has a calming effect. The point is that when taking a puff, the smoker breathes deeper and more evenly. But we will not recommend this method for use. If you do not smoke or smoke very rarely - no need to reach for a cigarette to avoid crying, it is better to use less harmful methods.

But there is no need to overuse techniques to stop yourself from crying. Use them only when it is really important to you not to cry in public. If you are alone, then you should not hold back your tears and try not to cry., it’s better to throw out all the negativity without letting it accumulate. All the same, sooner or later you will “break through” at the most inopportune moment, and holding back the tears that have been accumulating for weeks and even months is very, very difficult.

By the way, if lately you feel like crying more and more often with or without reason, consult a doctor“Wet eyes” may indicate not only psychological problems and stress, but also about problems with the nervous and endocrine systems.

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Nature is designed in such a way that with the help of crying a person gets rid of nervous tension. And indeed it is. After crying, we acquire the necessary release for the body.

Many girls, having an inimitable talent for making themselves cry, seek pity and attention in work matters and in their personal lives.

And everything would be fine if not for the moments when the appearance of tears is undesirable. IN modern world There are quite a few situations that provoke a stressful state. Resentments, quarrels and annoying incidents almost force us to cry. Sometimes this happens in the most inappropriate place: in the office, transport, supermarket, and just in front of surprised acquaintances.

Besides the fact that it is inappropriate, based on their etiquette, sudden crying can “really” shock the audience.

It turns out that there are several simple techniques that you can use to control your emotions and not show weakness. This is especially true for moments.

Therefore, read our article carefully and learn to hold back your crying.

We trick the brain

Quite often, people experience emotions that cause tears of sadness during... Using a harsh manner of communication, HR tests potential employees for stress resistance. This is why learning to calmly hold back your crying can be very helpful.

Tears don't flow on their own. The triggering mechanism for crying is a brain signal.

Therefore, to prevent anxious emotions from pouring out on those around you in rivers of tears, you need to do something that will outwit the areas of the brain responsible for the manifestation of emotions. To do this you can do the following:

  • Pinch yourself. A sharp pain impulse will block heartache, which will not allow your eyes to shine. This can be done on the inner thigh, arm, or simply on the lip. The main thing is to do this unnoticed by others.

  • Hold your breath. When the body realizes that the next portion of oxygen has not been received, it will automatically switch to a possible emergency situation. Of course, emotions will remain in the background.

If you want to cry during a conversation

If you try to post a list of all possible situations that can make a person want to cry, you will have to create a separate server for this article. However, as practice shows, most unpleasant moments, when we feel unbearably painful, happen during a conversation.

Therefore, we bring to your attention several proven techniques for holding back tears during communication.

  1. Try not to close your eyes or blink. Keep your eyes open as much as possible.
  2. With your eyes open to the maximum, look up without raising your head.
  3. Raising the eyebrows is great for preventing crying. Make this facial gesture as high as possible and hold for a few seconds.
  4. Drink some water. This process should be carried out slowly, in as small sips as possible.
  5. If you want to burst into tears, .

We understand that quite often, resentment causes a huge lump in the throat, which makes you want to gasp for air. Remember: with the first deep breath, a hail of tears will fall.

  1. Another effective tip that will help hold back tears is to close and open your mouth. First, open your mouth as much as possible, then close your jaw, and then open your mouth again.

If you can move

If you can move, walk, or leave the room without obstruction during a conversation, you will probably need another set of crying control techniques.

  1. If you have the opportunity to go into the ladies' room, wet your hands in cold water, ideally up to your elbows. And then put your fingers to your temples. The urge to shed tears will pass, and you will return to the room with a normal complexion and untouched makeup.
  2. Practice sudden movements. Confident, spontaneous physical actions distract the brain's attention. To do this, open the window, move a chair, open a closet or door.
  3. When you realize that there is critically little air and tears are about to flow from your eyes, leave the room with your interlocutor for a couple of seconds. This method is also valid if there is a person nearby who can feel sorry for you.

Remember: words of pity cause more emotional crying than awareness of the insult itself.

Let's use our imagination

It is not always possible to hold back tears using facial expressions or physical manipulation. In such situations, we safely move on to plan B.

One of the surest methods is to keep your thoughts busy. For this:

  • Mentally read the lyrics from the mindless pop song played daily on the morning radio;
  • remember your favorite verse;
  • count the number of leaves on the nearest flowerpot or the number of cars on the road, which is clearly visible from the window;
  • try to remember whether the kettle at home, the iron, or whether the front door is closed.

If the reason for the desire to cry is the words or actions of a particular person, imagine how his wife yells at him. Try to imagine the moment when he is scared of a spider, stung by a bee, teased at school, or scolded by his superiors.

Try to figure out what exactly caused you to feel so desperate. Perhaps it is a raised voice, news or a word. Think about how your more stress-resistant colleague or friend would react to this.

If the urge to cry comes to you too often

There are people who are ready to cry over any little thing.

In life, situations often arise when emotions overflow and you want to cry. However, not everyone wants to do this in public. For this reason, you need to hold back your tears, but not everyone can do this. But there are ways that will help you do this, you just need to pull yourself together and remember them in a stressful situation.

How not to cry if you are offended

Some people take great pleasure in humiliating others in order to become more important. They just like to see others cry because it makes them feel superior. Most often, sensitive people become their victims. In this case, they need to try to respond with rudeness to rudeness. However, in a stressful situation it is quite difficult to fight back. For this reason, tears appear in the eyes. How not to cry in this situation? The best way here would be to hurt yourself. You can, for example, dig your nails into your hand or bite your cheek. Such actions allow you to divert your attention from the problem and the desire to cry will immediately disappear. You can also pull out a few hairs or pull on your ear. What is important here is not so much the action as the moment of distraction.

Another good way to avoid crying in public is to mentally imagine your offender in a comical situation. So, for example, you can put a bucket of slop or garbage on his head. As a result, he will not look stern; on the contrary, he will want to laugh. In addition, he can be dressed in rags or completely undressed. The choice is really wide, the main thing is to practice a little and at a crucial moment, instead of wanting to cry, you will want to laugh. If a person is constantly brought to tears, then this can be done, since this act will discourage him. While listening to offensive things from a spiteful critic, you can mentally throw water, slop, paint, and mud at him. This way, you will be able to distract yourself from his words, and they will not be so offensive.

How not to cry at an important event

Many people have the habit of crying at weddings and birthdays, because they are overwhelmed with joyful emotions and in this way a person gives them a way out. Of course, no one condemns us for this, but the makeup of the fair sex after tears leaves much to be desired. In this case, you should remember how much time it took, then all the desire to cry will disappear. If tears appear, then you should leave and look at yourself in the mirror. An unsightly appearance will frighten any girl, so she will immediately stop crying.

To avoid crying at an important event, you should remember to breathe. As soon as emotions begin to overwhelm, you need to take a few deep breaths. It is best to go outside to get some fresh air, a few minutes will be enough. While inhaling it, you need to imagine how calmness enters the body, and with each exhalation, excitement and the desire to cry go away.

A cigarette helps some people hold back their tears. So, when emotions begin to overwhelm and you want to cry, you need to light a cigarette. One cigarette will be enough. You should not abuse this method, as it will not benefit your health. It is important to know that smoking shifts consciousness from one subject to another, so in this case psychologists advise drinking a glass of wine or water. The main thing is for the brain to switch to another object. You can even go out and eat something, even if it’s just ordinary candy.

All of the above methods will help you avoid crying. in public places. However, when a person is alone at home and wants to shed a tear, you should not hold back your emotions. According to psychologists, crying is good for you. This is explained by the fact that a person needs to give vent to his emotions, and should not accumulate them. Holding back tears can later lead to a real nervous breakdown. It will be much more difficult to treat, since it leads to depression, and this condition often evokes thoughts of suicide.

Man is an extremely complex being, with a highly developed nervous system and pronounced mental activity. We are all - to a greater or lesser extent - subject to emotions. Anger, irritation, tearfulness or euphoria, “having your head in the clouds” and “rose-colored glasses”, mood swings - all these are manifestations of our world of feelings, without which a person would have long ago turned into a robot-like, soulless creature.

Tears as a reaction to emotions with plus and minus signs

What emotions do we experience more often throughout life - positive or negative? It is quite difficult to answer this question. And who can count how many times we stretch our lips in a smile, sigh with relief or tensely and wipe away treacherous tears. It was only for Princess Nesmeyana that buckets were placed during her sobs, that’s why she’s a fairy tale! Is it possible not to cry at all? From physical, from sadness and even from joy? Not at all - of course not! And why, for example, restrain yourself if your eyes are wet from a long-awaited meeting with your loved one or if something makes you laugh immensely? On the contrary, such emotions bring with them only positive, cleansing and inspiring moments. Is it necessary not to cry when it’s really hard and some unpleasant events press like a stone on your heart, disturb your consciousness, and confuse you? Psychologists say unequivocally: on the contrary, in such cases it is not just necessary to cry, but necessary! Why? Because by throwing out everything that has boiled over, we thus receive psychological release, and the body is freed from stress. If we keep the negative to ourselves, worry in silence, then emotions accumulate, compressing our psyche, just as a spring contracts under pressure. But this process is not endless! And one day an explosion will follow, the result of which can be depression, neuroses, insomnia and many other serious problems. Do you want to control yourself in any situation and not cry? Then prepare in advance to become a psychotherapist’s patient!

When to restrain yourself

We looked at situations in which tears are a protective natural reaction of the body to external stimuli. However, any emotion is a double-edged sword. When it acquires affective, i.e. excessive, exaggerated forms, the picture also begins to take on a clinical appearance. And here, indeed, you should understand that in other cases it is better to hold back and not cry than to let yourself go and whine about every occasion. And the situation is not always conducive to open expression of feelings. If you have been insulted, then showing tears in front of the offender means humiliating yourself even more, showing your own weakness and sensitivity, that is, giving your enemy another reason to gloat and triumph. Do you need this? So let's think about how to learn not to cry in an inappropriate environment.

Learn to dominate

Yes, the first tip sounds exactly like that. Develop restraint and self-control, the ability to control emotions, and demonstrate strong will. Various auto-trainings will provide you with good support in this regard. The simplest and most accessible way to calm down and not cry is to take a deep breath several times and count to... Some up to 10, some even more. The main thing is that after such an exercise you relax somewhat, pull yourself together, and your feelings return to a more usual course and degree. This is, so to speak, advice for situations under force majeure. In general - long and hard work on yourself!

Evidence by contradiction

How not to cry if you want to? Another good remedy is the ability to look at a problem from a slightly different position, when it ceases to seem fatal. As in geometry - proof by contradiction. Has your husband left for someone else? Yes, it hurts, it’s hard, it’s offensive, it’s hopeless... You can endlessly select epithets. Or you can sit down and try to think differently: and “his” departure - prospects for new acquaintances, hobbies, flirting, and so on. One page of life is turned - another begins. If there are children, then, of course, the situation is more complicated. But no one can cancel the financial and other help of the “former”! Therefore, you should not behave as if “life was cut short.” No! What makes us stronger is to adopt this worldly wisdom, and it will teach you how not to cry from pain, but to protect yourself, your inner world from external cruelty.

From a smile

Psychologists often recommend: when cats start scratching their hearts, go to the mirror and smile. At first, with a stretch, even if your smile looks like a grin. Then again, again and again... Until you get a smile that is joyful, sincere, from the bottom of your heart. And at this moment you will feel how it becomes easier, brighter, and what tormented you ceases to be so important. Repeat the exercise more often, smile at your reflection, enjoy meeting yourself! Tested in practice: this method is good not only for those who are wondering how to stop crying. It will help anyone to cheer up, gain cheerfulness and self-confidence. Therefore, remembering the famous words of Baron Munchausen, smile, gentlemen, smile!

Distraction

If you are wondering how to never cry, we have to disappoint you: it is impossible. No wonder the poet said: “He who did not cry did not live.” But you can reduce your worries to a minimum. How? Learn to switch and get distracted. If you feel like it’s “rushing” and is about to overwhelm you, try to distract yourself. Some people grab a vacuum cleaner or washing powder to do this, others enthusiastically scribble on a typewriter, trying to kill their teeth with anticipation of a new outfit. Some people are saved by the kitchen and an original recipe, while others pull themselves out of the swamp by rhythmic music, a comedy film or an action-packed book, prayer, meditation, sports equipment and even sex... All the means here are good, as long as they provide the necessary mental release and serve effective lightning conductor.

Going to scream

Yes, if you are choked by tears, it will be useful to simply “scream.” In screaming, we express not only accumulated emotions, but also physical stress. Lock yourself in your room and scream everything that comes to mind - furiously, without holding back, out loud. You'll literally feel better right away, you'll see. True, then there will be conversations with neighbors, and not about the weather... But that’s a slightly different story.

Peace of mind is in our hands

Soulful, i.e. inner peace is a special state of harmony with oneself, peace. It is achieved by choosing a way of thinking and the ability to look at life’s problems from different angles.

And finally, the main thing is to cultivate positive thinking and live, enjoying every new day. After all, life is priceless - it’s your life!

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