The direction is “courage and cowardice. What does cowardice lead to? Is it possible to overcome cowardice?

Man is the crown of nature's creation. If we dream of something, it will definitely come true. Problems, obstacles, all kinds of challenges that life throws at you – all this is nothing. Compared to man's greatest enemy: himself.

We can be our own best friends or our own worst enemies. Confidence and courage are a must in order not to act like an opponent of your own endeavors. Everyone has fears. But difficulties begin the moment we allow them to control us. How to stop being a coward and take control of your fears? Let's look at the main methods.

Notice your fears. It all starts with awareness. Think about what is stopping you from being happy? In fact, this process already helps to free yourself from fears. After all, despite their apparent insurmountability, no fears are concrete walls - they are much less powerful than you might think...
Accept the fact that you are afraid of certain things. Many people know that they, for example, suffer from social phobia or a fear of open spaces. But at the same time, they are tormented by a deep intrapersonal conflict - they cannot accept themselves as they are. And this resistance only gives fear even more power. Denial means flight, not fight, as it may seem. Only when you accept yourself with all your shortcomings will there be a real chance to work on them.
Make decisions quickly. You don't have to spend two hours thinking about what to buy for dinner. One of the best ways to confront fear is to not obsess over choices. You need to make decisions quickly, since you cannot become a brave and self-confident person by spending half a day thinking about your every next step. We think every decision is very important. And because of this, we begin to be afraid of making any decisions.
However, if you choose option “B” over option “A,” nothing catastrophic will actually happen. There will be no consequences, no one will care. So start developing the habit of making quick decisions now. This way you will free up a huge amount of energy that is wasted on hesitation and uncertainty.
Stop apologizing to everyone. You probably think that you always have a good enough reason to apologize. However, we guarantee you that this is not the case. Most likely, you apologize to others or feel like you would like to do so almost constantly without even realizing it.
Therefore, try simply not saying the word “sorry” for 24 hours. At all. Believe me, it's more difficult than it seems.
Keep track of those moments when you would like to apologize automatically, for no apparent reason. It will turn out that most of the “offensive” things you do are actually not offensive at all. Also, using this method, you will be able to discover for yourself that you yourself perceive as an insult actions and things that are far from being such. This will also help in the fight against cowardice.
In an unpleasant situation, make an action plan in advance. It will give you back control over the things that cause you the most anxiety. For example, think ahead about how you plan to eliminate overtime. Imagine the reaction of your superiors or colleagues. Think through your arguments in advance. The usual development of such a plan already significantly helps to reduce the feeling of fear and helplessness.
Question yourself about everything you do at any given time. We are all made up of many habits, but not many of us realize the extent to which these deeply ingrained patterns control our lives. They are especially strong when it comes to fight-or-flight choices. Therefore, when you experience fear, ask yourself the question: “Why am I afraid?” Say it out loud. 99% of the time you will find that the fear is irrational.
Try to practice these questions in other situations throughout the day. Whatever you do, ask yourself: “Why am I doing this?” These questions can be quite annoying at first. However, they can reveal a lot of new information about you. For example, you may discover a tendency towards procrastination (which, by the way, is also often a consequence of fear), or become aware of the choices that you usually make without thinking.
How to stop being a coward in personal endeavors? Be boring as hell. Let's explain. Whether you would like to write a book, or organize a charity for starving children, or simply open a small business, you are most likely concerned about doing everything perfectly. You make a plan, consult with experts, develop a strategy. What happens next? You don't do anything. And the reason for this is fear. After all, in the imagination all this gives much more pleasure than in reality, where all the responsibility falls on you.
For example, you want to be a doctor. To become one, you go to medical school, get a job and treat patients. All. But if you want to open your own clinic, then a lot of daunting questions immediately arise in your head. What will my clinic specialize in? Will I find enough patients? What about doctors? Will they be able to perform their duties at the highest level? The difference between these two examples is that an ordinary doctor concentrates on his immediate responsibilities - treating patients. While someone who wants to open his own company thinks about things, half of which exist only in his head.
If you consider yourself to be in the second category, stop being afraid and do the most routine and everyday work. This way you will bring the fulfillment of your dreams closer and get rid of unnecessary fear of undertakings.

All of the above recommendations work for one reason - they help not to avoid fears, but to resist them. By implementing these strategies into your daily life, you learn nothing less than to live with fear—which in itself is one of the bravest things in life.

Essay topic: Can a brave man be afraid?

It is generally accepted that a brave person is not afraid of anything. But is it? In order to answer this question, it is necessary to define what courage means and what it is like. In dictionaries, courage is a positive moral and volitional personality trait, manifested as determination, fearlessness, courage when performing actions associated with risk and danger.

Indeed, courage is usually associated with walking on the edge, with the threat of life, but it can also manifest itself in everyday situations. Brave people are found not only in war, we meet them everywhere. One can be called brave who is not afraid to express his opinion, who has the courage to be different from the majority, and is able to perceive new things. Does courage presuppose fear? In my opinion, only a fool is not afraid. There is no shame in being afraid, but only a person who overcomes fear can be called brave.

Many writers have addressed this topic. Thus, E. Ilyina’s story “The Fourth Height” is dedicated to overcoming fears. Gulya Koroleva is an example of courage in all its manifestations. Her whole life is a battle with fear, and each of her victories is a new height. In the work we see the life story of one person, the formation of a real personality. Every step she takes is a manifesto of determination. From the first lines of the story, little Gulya shows real courage in different life situations. Overcoming her childhood fears, she takes the snake out of the box with her bare hands and sneaks into the cage with the elephants at the zoo. The heroine grows up, and the challenges encountered in life become more serious: the first role in a movie, the admission of being wrong, the ability to take responsibility for one’s actions. Throughout the entire work he does what he is afraid of. Having matured, Gulya Koroleva gets married and has a son. It seems that all fears have been conquered, she can live a calm family life, but the biggest test awaits her: the war begins, and her husband goes to the front. She is afraid for her husband, her son, the future of the country, but fear does not paralyze her, does not force her to hide. The girl goes to work as a nurse in a hospital to make her contribution. Unfortunately, her husband dies, and Gula has to fight alone. She goes to the front, unable to look at the horrors happening to her loved ones. The heroine takes the “fourth height”. She dies, having defeated the very last fear living in a person, the fear of death. On the pages of the story we see how the main character is afraid, but overcomes her phobias.

The problem of overcoming fear is also explored in Veronica Roth's novel Divergent. Beatrice Prior, the main character of the work, leaves her home, the Abnegation faction, to become Dauntless. She is afraid of her parents' reaction, afraid of not going through the initiation rite, of not being accepted in a new place. But her main strength is that she challenges all her fears and faces them. Tris puts herself in great danger by being in the company of the Dauntless, because she is “different”, people like her are destroyed. This scares her terribly, but she is much more afraid of herself. She does not understand the nature of her difference from others, and is horrified by the thought that her very existence could be dangerous for people.

The fight against fears is one of the key problems of the novel. So, Beatrice’s lover’s name is Faure, which means “four” in English. This is exactly the number of fears he needs to overcome. Tris and For fearlessly fight for their lives, justice, and peace in the city they call home. They defeat both external and internal enemies, which undoubtedly characterizes them as brave people.

I would like to complete my thoughts with M. Twain’s statement: “Courage is resistance to fear, not its absence.” Indeed, there is no need to be afraid of fear and associate it with cowardice; you need to fight it, overcoming not only external circumstances, but also resolving internal conflicts.

I'm a coward. I'm afraid of everything: returning home through the courtyards in the evening, walking past noisy companies, talking to the girl I like - life in general. I can’t stand up for myself or my loved ones. I can’t hit a person, even if I need to defend myself. They tell me I'm a wuss. Nobody takes me seriously. How to survive in this world? How to get rid of cowardice?

At Yuri Burlan’s training “System-vector psychology” you can find a way out of this situation.

I am not a coward, but I am afraid, or what is the difference between fear and cowardice

Why do some people cope with fears and others not? One can walk along a tightrope stretched between skyscrapers, while the other cannot cross the dark courtyard from the bus stop to the house. What is this connected with? It seems that those who are not afraid to walk the tightrope were born without fear. And for those who are afraid to pass by the company on the bench, courage has not been inherited.

In fact, courage or cowardice is a manifestation of our properties, which depends on the psychological state. And if before system-vector psychology it was not possible to accurately determine how the human psyche works and how one person differs from another, now this has become possible.

Everyone without exception can experience fear to varying degrees and for different reasons. Anyone who manages to cope with their fear or forget about it altogether manifests themselves as a brave or fearless person. In contrast, those who have difficulty or cannot cope with their fear exhibit cowardice.

The concept of vector, which is used in system-vector psychology, implies a set of innate properties, desires and values of a person. There are eight such vectors in total; a modern urban person usually has from three to five vectors. Different combinations of vectors and the level of their development explain why people behave differently in the same situations.

It happens that such men live with their mother because they have a very strong emotional connection with her. Since childhood, obedient, “golden” boys, they can grow into “mama’s boys” if the mother constantly pedals praise, literally forming a dependence on her opinion. A close connection with his mother does not allow an adult man to break away from her, create relationships, realize his need for family, love and children, have his own opinion, and live his own life.

Awareness of your properties and values helps to realize them. And then fears and uncertainty go away. And an anal-visual man can discover other ways to solve problems: not fight, but negotiate.

By the way, Yuri Burlan at the “System-Vector Psychology” training does not recommend sending children to martial arts schools so that they can fend for themselves, because this way they will not learn to defend themselves in any other way. It often happens that a person who masters some kind of fighting techniques solves problems solely by force, without using his other properties. That is, mastery of techniques is not an indicator of courage. This issue is covered more widely.

Where is the way out, or How to get rid of cowardice

The first step should be to understand yourself correctly. At the “System-Vector Psychology” training, you can and should do this yourself. Understanding your basic fears helps you understand where they come from and how they relate to situations where we show cowardice.

The next step after realizing your nature is the correct realization of the potential of your psyche in socially useful activities, during which fear is transformed into empathy, compassion and love for people. For the owner of the visual-cutaneous ligament, these are, for example, the professions of a salesman in a women's store, an administrator in a beauty salon, an actor, and a manager. These are all necessary professions that do not require a lot of muscle mass or the ability to swing your fists. Going on stage, even at an amateur theater, is no longer the act of a coward. And customers are simply delighted with well-groomed and gallant salespeople in women's clothing or cosmetics stores!

The implementation for the anal-visual ligament is an archaeologist, historian, art historian, tailor, jeweler, artist, designer, teacher. Thorough knowledge of the subject, inexhaustible patience, attention to detail, the ability to teach others - all this is necessary and in demand in modern life.

Brute physical strength is not needed in such activities and even interferes. What is needed is the ability to see beauty, respect for the experience of ancestors and traditions, the creation of emotional connections, simple human empathy, sensitivity to the needs of others, love and compassion. This is so contrary to the false attitudes that are being implanted - that you need to stand up for yourself, fight and prove something with your fists, and not try to understand and come to an agreement. Without destruction and aggression. After all, the Stone Age ended long ago.

During the visual training session, the problems of such men are worked out in great detail, and they completely.

The changed internal state ceases to attract aggression through a state of fear. It's like with a dog - if you're not really afraid, it won't even think about attacking. A similar mechanism works in humans. When a visual person reveals his nature and correctly realizes his properties, he does not experience fear, which means he does not find himself in dangerous situations.

“I got rid of a huge fear that was preventing me from living... I was simply terribly afraid of dogs, no matter how big or small, and over the years this fear intensified... After the visual lesson of the first level, I thought a lot about fears. And one day I noticed that I was riding in an elevator with a large German shepherd. And no fear. Previously, it was out of the question that I would go into the same elevator with a dog. Everything went unnoticed, of course...”

“I had quite a lot of fears. One of the strongest fears people had was social phobia. The presence of this ever-increasing fear throughout my life greatly complicated my life, significantly limiting my development, my social circle, and prevented me from establishing any new social contacts, which I always tried to avoid.

Now, after almost two years, I don’t feel that former horror of people, I can calmly go out into the street, use public transport, talk on the phone and do many other things without wasting too much time and effort on thinking about and overcoming my fear...”

How to feel psychological comfort and wealth? How to get rid of cowardice? Realize yourself, realize yourself, take your place in life. And for this, come first to .

Proofreader: Natalya Konovalova

The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»

Cowardice is the inability to act during a period of real (or perceived as real) threat, criminal weakness or activity during a period of inability to control one’s fear.

Fear is a normal reaction of the body to a threat to the functioning and integrity of the body. It always exists and is found in all people with intact psyche and full development.

However, we all struggle with it both in everyday and extreme situations. We may be afraid to meet the parents of our chosen one, go up in a transparent elevator, and go ask for a promotion from the manager, or we may be afraid to go into battle, realizing the real threat to our lives. But we pull ourselves together and don’t retreat. But some retreat and run away. This is called cowardice.

Sometimes they don’t just “give up”, but are ready to do anything, consciously or not. And it’s one thing when we turn aside in front of the boss’s office. Well, we’ll still sit in a low-paid position. And it’s a completely different matter when, for the sake of personal salvation, cowards are ready to shoot their captured comrades, drown women and children, removing their life jackets during a shipwreck. Therefore, there is always a negative attitude towards cowardice and it is assessed as “criminal” activity or inactivity. From here the differences between fear and cowardice can be clearly seen.

The difference between fear and cowardice

There are several main differences between fear and cowardice.

Fear is the body’s reaction to a threat, and cowardice is always an act (and passivity is also an act).
This is where the next concept comes from: cowardice is always associated with the volitional determination of activity, or rather its lack.
Cowardice is associated with deep personal attitudes that are formed by each individual and are influenced by many factors. Thus, the mentioned concept is influenced by all the relationships that were laid down for the child, his moral dogmas, the ability to make decisions, a sense of responsibility, in general, the development of his personality from the psychological side. Therefore, some people will prefer to give up their lives if the life of a child is put on the scales; while others absorbed the attitude that children are not of great value and will calmly prefer their own benefit in an extreme situation.

Therefore, from these differences, the causes of cowardice can be clearly deduced.

Causes of cowardice

So, based on the above, let's take a closer look at the reasons for the formation of cowardice and give relevant examples.

How to deal with cowardice?

Let's divide this point into two large parts: in-depth study of oneself and situational principles of combating “attacks of cowardice.”

If we are ready to study the problem in depth, we look at all possible points that could lead to the formation of this way of responding to the situation:

Situational principles of struggle are also aimed at developing self-control. These include breathing exercises that reduce feelings of tension and readiness for impulsive actions; and express methods that allow you to concentrate on an important motive; and, finally, methods that allow you to “create” “helpers” for yourself or find internal reserves so as not to chicken out.

Ernest Renan

There are forms of human behavior that have always been inherent in a certain part of people and which, no matter how hard you want, cannot be abandoned without disfiguring the very nature of man. We can include cowardice as one of these forms, which to one degree or another is inherent in all healthy people, but in some of them it can stand out especially strongly and therefore cause a negative attitude towards themselves. Of course, cowardice is an unsightly form of behavior and often harmful to the one who demonstrates it. It is believed that being a coward is bad, because such a person is overcome by fear, which either pushes him to stupid actions, or, on the contrary, fetters his actions. But in this article I will not be so categorical in relation to this type of mental weakness, but will look at it more broadly in order to see and show you the positive and even useful sides. It is this approach to this form of behavior and state of mind that has allowed and allows me to help people who turn to me for help with this problem. I hope this article will also help someone in need to take a fresh look at their cowardice so that they can use it to their advantage in cases where it is impossible to become a little bolder.

What is cowardice?

Briefly about what cowardice is. Cowardice is the inability to cope with one's fear, the inability to step over it when necessary. Or we can also say that this is the inability to competently respond to fear. Let's say there is some situation when you can and should act in a certain way in order to solve a problem, task and avoid something or get something, but a person acts differently or does not act at all, because of his cowardice. That is, in essence, he does not behave quite adequately to the current circumstances and therefore deprives himself of certain opportunities or does not solve important problems, thereby only aggravating them. But, it should also be noted that in some situations, cowardly behavior can help a person avoid unnecessary troubles and dangers; it protects him from unnecessary problems. Below I will explain exactly what situations we are talking about.

Attitude towards cowardice

First of all, we will say that cowardice in our society is unreasonably despised, condemned and presented exclusively as weakness. This, I will tell you, is not entirely objective, from the point of view of nature, people’s position in relation to this form of human behavior; it is more cultural, because from childhood we are taught that being a coward is bad. Of course, cowardly people most often do not get along very well in life, so it is difficult to see any positive aspects in their attitude towards it. However, a coward is not necessarily a weak person who never achieves anything because of his cowardly behavior. He can use this model of behavior to avoid various threats, run away from dangers, difficulties, problems, instead of fighting them, for the sake of his survival and well-being. He can even defend his interests in this way. Here you just need to remember that a coward is driven by fear, and this is a very powerful incentive, and if you connect your head to it, you can come up with a lot of profitable combinations as a response to various challenges that life and other people throw at us. Where a brave man may act recklessly, a cowardly man will exercise caution and prudence, and will not expose himself to unnecessary risks. So in some situations cowardly behavior helps, but in others it hinders. The main thing is not just to be afraid of something and, as a result, succumb to the influence of emotions, but to go through various combinations of your actions in response to what causes fear - this is what is important for cowardly people to be able to do. If you're afraid to climb a mountain, go around it. You don’t have to overcome fear - it’s important for you to achieve the desired result.

And the negative attitude towards cowardice is explained by the fact that people do not like those who do not take responsibility for solving some problems themselves, who do not risk their interests, health and even life in the fight against various threats, which means that this will have to be done them, these people. But I don’t want to. You want someone else to be the hero in dangerous and difficult situations, and you just benefit from it. Therefore, bold, but dangerous, risky behavior is approved, and more cautious and cautious behavior, perceived as cowardly, is condemned. This is an unconscious moment in most cases in people’s attitude towards cowardice; it is associated with the selfish interests of a person who wants someone else to solve various problems for him and sacrifice something. For example, if you throw yourself under a tank with a bunch of grenades, you are a hero, a brave person, you, or rather your behavior, are praised. Why? Because you did it, you sacrificed your life for the sake of other people, which means they won’t have to do this - give up their lives. But a coward will not do this - he will save himself. This means someone else will have to do it for him - sacrifice his life for the sake of others. Naturally, no one wants to do this, so cowardly people are shown in a negative light. Such, so to speak, are the selfish interests at stake in our matter of condemning cowardice. It's all about our selfishness.

You may ask how it is that people can praise courage in others, for the sake of their own selfish interests, without realizing it, if almost every person wants to be seen as a brave, strong, courageous person. Here, friends, we must distinguish between people’s desire to look brave, strong, courageous and their ability to be so. Of course, there are and always have been people who act boldly, take risks, show bravery and courage, and for this they receive a certain reward, and with it recognition and respect from other people. But courage does not always lead a person to victory, much more often cunning leads to it. It is not courage, I believe, but the cunning of the city that takes over. And then, when a person comes to a certain success, achieves something, he begins to compose beautiful legends about himself, presenting himself in the most favorable light. This is often done by cowards who, with the help of cunning and deceit, were able to succeed in something, to come to something, for example, to power. Or a person can present himself as a hero, although in fact he is not one, but since it is not possible to prove the opposite, he can tell a lot of good things about himself. For example, while some were throwing themselves under bullets and tanks, others were holed up in headquarters, resting in hospitals, and then, when everything had calmed down, they began telling stories about how brave and courageous they were and how many heroic deeds they had committed. Here it is not truth that plays an important role, but eloquence and the ability to lie smoothly. So, wanting to be brave and courageous and being so are completely different things. And that’s why most people want to look brave, but let others carry the chestnuts from the fire.

There is another reason for people’s negative attitude towards cowardice - it is their own cowardice, which prevents them from defending their interests. After all, in other people we often despise what we hate in ourselves. And our own weakness is especially unpleasant for us; we feel a genetic aversion to it. Although, those other people may not worry at all about the problems that bother us and that we see in them. Roughly speaking, if you are a coward and you feel bad because of this, this does not mean at all that another coward feels as bad as you. He may be happy with everything and he doesn’t want to become bolder; he has already learned to solve his problems well. You can despise him, seeing your reflection in him, but this will be exclusively your position, your vision of another person.

There is nothing to say at all about beliefs that may not have real confirmation in life. A person can be convinced of anything, this is his weakness and strength. If you have been taught since childhood that being a coward is bad, then you need to look for something good, useful, and necessary in it, in cowardice, as I do in this article, in order to form your own attitude towards it. Then an understanding may come that, yes, being a coward is bad in some situations. But there are also situations when you need or have to be a coward. After all, for example, if you are accused of cowardice because you do not want to jump from a bridge into the river, although others have done it, and you don’t even know how to swim, then honestly, you are better off admitting your cowardice than trying it refute by choosing to do what you are called to do. You don't need such courage. Remember how I once did this - in this life there is effective and ineffective behavior, one leads to victories and success, the other to defeats and failures. And whether it is brave or cowardly, right or wrong, good or bad, from someone’s point of view, these are less significant factors for assessing it.

Courage and cowardice

The above, of course, does not mean that cowardice is useful and necessary, and that one should put up with it without trying to become more courageous. It’s just that those who suffer because of it need to understand that with it they can achieve their goals. And when people come to me with such a problem, when they complain about their cowardly behavior that prevents them from living a normal life, I always look at their capabilities, at their life experience, at their strengths and weaknesses, before offering them various options for solving this problem. Not all people can simply become brave and courageous, even gradually and even with good guidance and due diligence. I would even say that many cannot do this. Therefore, some need to learn to behave more courageously in some situations, others in others, and for others it is even more convenient to adapt their cowardice to their desires and needs, so that, as mentioned above, they can look for different options for achieving their goals without fighting their cowardice, but using it as motivation and using it to get around the rough edges.

For example, some people cannot behave boldly in conflict situations and, given their mental capabilities, should not do this so as not to aggravate their situation. Because their character does not allow them to be what they ideally should be in conflicts. They will not be able to play a role that is unnatural for them for a long time, they will not be able to respond blow to blow. Therefore, in order not to break themselves and not waste a lot of time on mastering the role of a brave, arrogant, strong, and, when necessary, aggressive person that does not suit them, it is easier for them to resort to various kinds of tricks and with their help achieve their goals. Therefore, I never tried to make everyone I helped cope with cowardice, so to speak, cool, because everyone cannot be cool. But everyone can become more effective, successful, and practical. And if you, being a coward, nevertheless achieve your goals, then why should you worry about it, just do what you can do and receive a certain reward for it. The main thing is not to become limp, not to be inactive. Cowardice must be complemented by flexibility of mind so as not to lose because of it.

Of course, in the long term, any person can be changed beyond recognition by working with him competently, persistently, and individually. But we must understand that by long term we can consider a very long period. Therefore, it is much wiser to learn first of all to make do with what you already have, even if it is an unsightly cowardice that makes you afraid of everything.

And if we talk about courage, then, undoubtedly, it often brings benefits to the one who shows it, compared to cowardice. But we must understand that courage and cowardice are different sides of the same coin. Being brave always and everywhere is also bad; you can fly great in those situations in which bold behavior is inappropriate in vain. Therefore, here it is more about a person’s assessment of this or that threat, danger, risk, and not about the behavior model. Simply being bold, without taking into account external factors and one’s capabilities, means being reckless. Thus, it turns out that one extreme forces people to be afraid of everything, and the other, not to be afraid of anything, which can lead to a completely unjustified risk and the loss of everything. Consequently, a person who knows how to assess risks, who understands his capabilities and, most importantly, knows how to control his condition, and does not act out of habit, can show cowardice or courage and at the same time benefit from one or another of his decisions. But this is from the point of view of the mind. But from the point of view of emotions and feelings, which most of us are guided by in most cases, human behavior is less controlled and deliberate. In most cases, it is formulaic, based on habits formed over the years. Therefore, I sometimes see that a person is not really a coward, but considers himself one simply because he was once accustomed to behaving the way cowards behave, accustomed to being afraid, although he has nothing to fear, accustomed to retreating, although he may well defend their interests in certain situations. In other words, some people do not understand themselves well enough and therefore have problems with the same cowardice, or with courage if they have it recklessly.

To better understand why people sometimes make mistakes about themselves, let's talk about what makes people cowardly and how this state of soul, mind and body then becomes habitual for them.

What makes people cowardly?

So, what makes people cowardly and how can we then change this behavioral and ideological model of attitude towards life, leading it to a more adequate and effective state? Here, friends, it is necessary to understand that a person always adheres to a pattern of behavior that in most cases allows him to get something or avoid something. To put it simply, a person wants to get pleasure and avoid pain. And he probes the boundaries of his capabilities, the boundaries of what is permitted, with the help of one or another model of behavior. Usually, initially, this is a selfish model of behavior, the manifestation of which is arrogance, aggression, whims, calling on other people to do as the person wants at all costs. And if such arrogant, aggressive, assertive behavior allows him to achieve his goals, then, naturally, he will constantly behave this way until something or someone stops him, making him understand that not everything in this life can be obtained exactly this way.

And in our case we are talking about cowardly behavior, which a person resorts to forcedly. This is because most of his attempts to be bold, courageous and proactive ended in failure. Life and other people punished him for his courage, so he was forced to choose a model of behavior that allows him to avoid pain, fight fear and even get something from this world. Cowardice helps a coward survive. Whether it is adequate or not is another question.

Therefore, if this world somehow broke and suppressed a person, not allowing him to be brave, active, courageous, arrogant, aggressive, then all he can do is be a coward who can somehow protect himself from various threats, even though somehow can achieve its modest goals by adapting to circumstances. Think about it, what else can you do in this case, how to adapt to this world, if not with the help of cowardice? If in a person’s life there was a lot of violence, harshness, pain, suffering, because of which he constantly felt fear, if a person does not have an inner core that does not appear on its own, it needs to be developed, if this person does not have the opportunity to demonstrate courage behavior because it will lead him to death or very serious problems, then what kind of courage can be expected from him? Try, for example, to show courageous behavior in a situation where all those who disagree are put up against the wall and shot, what will you achieve? Heroic death? And who needs it? After all, the main task of a person in this world is to survive, and not die with his head held high.

Therefore, it all depends on how a person’s life developed, how other people treated him, especially those close to him, what he was allowed to do and what he was limited in, whether he experienced violence or not, and so on. Life does not necessarily break cowardly people; it can teach them how to live in certain conditions, when your capabilities are limited, when you cannot fight certain forces. There he gave in, here he gave in, he ran away from it, he didn’t bother with it, here he sacrificed his interests, just so as not to escalate the situation - this is how a coward behaves. He is not a fighter by nature, because he has not developed the skills of a fighter, his character is not tempered, and he does not possess the necessary fighting qualities. More precisely, he possesses the qualities of a fighter, but they are suppressed in him. So a person lives as he knows how, as he is used to living, preferring flight to fight and concession to perseverance. By nature he is not a coward, his life has simply developed in such a way that he simply cannot handle courage, courage, aggressiveness, either physically or morally. As a matter of fact, all healthy people can show cowardice in certain situations. No one in their right mind can be strong and courageous always and everywhere, it is impossible. Sometimes you have to and even need to chicken out in order to avoid some extremely negative consequences or to get something, to succeed in something. For example, wanting to move up the career ladder or in the service, a person needs to be able to adapt to a superior, and not conflict with him.

So basically, aggression and cruelty of people make a person cowardly. Less often, this is influenced by illnesses, when a person feels his physical and spiritual weakness and therefore prefers not to get into trouble and not jump over his head, realizing that this will cost him dearly. And also, suggestions can make a coward out of a person - this is a kind of brainwashing, when, for example, you can intimidate a person with some horror stories, say, of a religious nature, and thus make him fear punishment for certain of his actions. Thus, a person can become cowardly without encountering real violence against himself, but only imagining it.

To help a person take a different path - the path of a brave, strong, self-confident person - you need to gradually accustom him to this new model of behavior, showing him its practicality, effectiveness, efficiency, and most importantly, accessibility for him, so that the person believed that he could live a more courageous life. But first, if a person lives with fears that suppress him, he must be rid of them. To do this, you need to sort out in chronological order all the stages of the formation of his personality in order to see when and how his current, cowardly model of behavior was consolidated and to understand what external factors it became a response to. A person may need to rethink a lot in order not to be afraid of what he is used to being afraid of, he will need to change his attitude towards something, so as not to worry and be nervous, but to something, to some fears, he More worthy answers will need to be found.

For example, a cowardly person may avoid making bold decisions in situations that actually do not threaten him in any way, and therefore the courage and determination shown in them is a nut to crack at this particular moment. But he doesn’t understand this, so he prefers to stick to his usual behavior, that is, cowardly, timid and in this particular case absolutely senseless, because he is a chronic coward who sees danger even in his own shadow. To understand what capabilities he has, what determination he can show and, through bold actions, go beyond the boundaries of his usual behavior, a person needs someone from the outside who will push him to decisive action, who, if necessary, will force him to be bold at the right moment. And when, thanks to this outside help, he takes the necessary actions and sees that nothing terrible happened, but on the contrary, everything turned out very well for him - he won, achieved success, due to the courage shown, then this will be his first step on a new path - the path of a brave man. Having made several such steps, necessarily successful, he will consolidate the new model of behavior in his mind and then be able to develop it, showing courage in those cases when it is appropriate, when it is in his power.

There is another important point in this matter. Some people may be afraid of what they do all the time, only under duress, when someone forces them to step over their fear and do a bold, courageous act. That is, they are brave only when there is another person next to them, usually strong, courageous, confident, smart, who supports and guides them, or simply forces them to do something. As a result, they are brave not on their own, but because of someone. It is also necessary to get rid of such dependence, otherwise cowardice cannot be completely overcome. Therefore, it is necessary to ensure that a person is courageous on his own initiative, presenting him with a choice: to show courage or to be cowardly in a certain situation. Of course, these specific situations must be such that a person is able to act in them boldly and independently, without needing outside help and support. Then he will become more independent in this matter.

It should be noted that life constantly poses such a choice to each of us. Only situations in which it spontaneously arises do not always allow us to make bold decisions and perform strong actions in order to consolidate the appropriate model of behavior. That is why some people receive life experiences that allow them to be bold, courageous, proactive and self-confident, while others are forced to become cowards and act from the position of a weak person. Try, friends, to show courage more often, identifying situations in which it is appropriate and necessary. It is more useful than cowardice. Brave people achieve more in this life than cowardly people. But don’t forget that being a coward is also useful when the fear that forces you to give in and retreat signals a really serious danger to which you need to react in this way.