What does mental pain mean? How to get rid of mental pain: useful tips. Psychological pain is a way of adapting to new conditions, acquisition or loss

Sometimes we love a person so much that it leaves deep wounds in our soul. The pain of being rejected is no less than physical pain. And it doesn’t really matter whether your boyfriend suggested breaking up after a long relationship or a new acquaintance refused to go on a date with you. Healing mental wounds is a very long process, but you need to gather your strength and set off on a long journey to a renewed self.

Steps

Part 1

Give yourself time

Allow yourself to feel sadness. Heart wounds are always painful. You cannot ignore the fact that your experiences are causing you suffering. This means that you must give yourself time to process the emotions that come with heartache. These feelings are how your brain literally tells you how much something has hurt you. There is no need to artificially suppress these emotions in yourself.
- Create a healing space. You need time and space to process your emotions and give vent to your bitter feelings. When you feel emotional pain, try to find a calm place where you can cope with the wave of emotions that overwhelm you. Sometimes it’s enough to go for a walk, retire to your room, or just make yourself a cup of aromatic tea.
- When a person experiences mental pain, he goes through certain stages of this process, during which he experiences feelings such as anger, pain, grief, anxiety, fear and acceptance of what happened. Sometimes you may feel like you are literally drowning in your own emotions, but if you can identify exactly how you move through each stage of experience, it will help you go through the healing process easier and a little faster.
- Try not to drown in your despair. There is a clear difference between simply giving yourself time to process your emotions and being completely overwhelmed by them. If you find that you don't leave the house for weeks, forget to shower, and life seems meaningless to you, you should seek professional psychological help as soon as possible. These are signs that the grief process is too difficult for you to cope with on your own.
Live for today. If you want to deal with all your emotions at once and get rid of heartache immediately, you are probably setting yourself an impossible task. Instead, move from one stage to another gradually, and always live for today.
- A good way to focus on a specific moment in your life is to try to live for today. When you catch yourself thinking about the past again and again, stop yourself. Look around: what do you see now? what smell do you smell? What color is the sky above your head? what are your fingers touching? and the wind blows in your face?
- Don't start coming up with a grand plan to forget the person who broke your heart. On the contrary, if you focus on how to cope with your grief, it will happen on its own.
Indifference. When a relationship ends or you're rejected, you'll likely feel like there's suddenly a huge hole inside of you. A huge black hole that absorbs all the happiness from your life. At this point, many people make the mistake of immediately trying to fill this hole with something because they are unable to bear this painful feeling. Yes, this feeling is causing you a lot of pain, and you have the right to feel empty inside.
- Create a space for yourself where your ex is not present. Delete his phone number and you won't be able to text him when you've had too much to drink. Add him to the “blacklist” on all social networks, otherwise you will one day find yourself looking at new photos on his account all night long. Don't ask mutual friends how your ex is doing. The more clearly you understand that the breakup is final, the easier it will be for you to heal after it.
- Don't try to immediately fill the void left by broken love. This is one of the most common mistakes people make when trying to heal emotional wounds. When you try to immediately jump into a new relationship to stop feeling the pain and fill the void left by the previous feeling, it doesn't really help you move through the necessary stages of coping with loss. Your unlived negative feelings will sooner or later return to you, but they will become even stronger and more painful.
Tell us about it. You need to make sure you have the right support to help you cope with your heartache. Having strong support from your friends and family, and even your therapist, will help you get back on your feet faster than anything else. Of course, close people will not fill the emptiness that your loved one left in your soul, but they can help you better cope with this emptiness.
- Find a close friend or relative with whom you can talk about your worries, especially on long, lonely evenings. Try to find a person or people who can provide you with emotional support to make up for the support you received from your partner in the relationship that ended. Ask your friends for permission to call them every time you feel an irresistible urge to talk to that person you are trying to get rid of your feelings for.
- A journal can be incredibly helpful in this situation. Not only is it a good way to let your feelings out, especially if you don't want to put the burden of your suffering on your friends, but it's also an effective way to evaluate the progress you've made. After re-reading old posts, you will suddenly realize that you now think about your ex much less often or notice that you want to go on dates again (In reality, and not just “to fill the emptiness inside left by broken love”).
- Sometimes you may need to talk to a psychologist or psychotherapist. There's no shame in asking for professional help!
Get rid of things that trigger memories. If you constantly stumble upon objects that bring back memories of a past love, this will only slow down your healing process. You shouldn't keep the old lounge pants that your ex usually wore after work in the closet; get rid of this trash.
- There's no need to ritually burn anything that reminds you of your past relationship, especially if those things can be given to people who need them. But you should definitely remove these things from your life, one way or another. Additionally, depending on how bad your breakup was, ritually burning things can release a barrage of feelings that were previously locked away in your heart.
- Take a thing and try to remember what exactly you associate with it. Then imagine putting those memories in a balloon. When you get rid of something, imagine that the ball flies far, far away, and will never bother you again.
- If you still have valuables in good condition, you can donate them to charity. In this case, you can imagine how much joy this thing will bring to the new owner.
Help other people. If you start helping others, especially those who are experiencing the same feelings as you, you can take your mind off your own worries. It also means that you are not drowning in your own misery and self-pity.
- Take time to listen to your friends and help them if they are having difficulties. Don't focus only on your own heartache. Tell your friends that they can always count on you to listen to them and help them if they need it.
- Do volunteer work. Find a job at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Offer your help at rehabilitation centers or shelters for homeless animals.
Give free rein to your imagination. You will imagine your ex coming back to you and talking about how stupid he was for letting you leave. You can imagine in detail how you hug and kiss this person, imagine your intimacy in detail. Such fantasies are absolutely normal.
- The more you try to stop your imagination, the more often such thoughts will come to your mind. When you try not to think about something, especially if you have imposed this strict limitation on yourself, in fact, you only think about it all the time.
- Set aside special times when you allow yourself to fantasize, so you don't spend all your time in an imaginary world. For example, you can give yourself 15 minutes a day during which you can think about how your ex dreams of getting back together with you. If these thoughts come to your mind at another time, put them aside until the time allocated for fantasies arrives. You don't refuse to think about it, you just put these thoughts off until later.
Part 2
Beginning of the healing process
1. Avoid anything that triggers memories. If you have already gotten rid of all the things that trigger memories, as described in the first part of the article, this will help you avoid such moments. However, there are other things that you should keep in mind. Of course, you won't be able to avoid them completely, but at least try not to look for them on purpose. This will help you recover faster.
  - The occasion could be anything from a song that played on your first date to a small cafe where you spent so much time together studying for exams. It could even be a smell.
  - You may encounter this even when you don't expect it at all. If this happens, determine what exactly triggered your memories, and what kind of memories this factor caused. Then try to switch to something else. There is no need to dwell on these feelings and memories. For example, when you come across a photo of you together on Facebook, admit to yourself that you feel sad and regretful because of it, and then try to think about something positive or at least neutral. You might think about the new dress you'll wear tomorrow, or how it would be nice to get a kitten
  - This doesn't mean you should go out of your way to avoid these evocative moments. You won't be able to do this. All you need to do is just try to avoid encountering things that traumatize you and make you regret the past. You need your mental wounds to heal.
2. Good music will help you heal faster. It has been proven that music can have a therapeutic effect and help speed up the healing process. Listen to upbeat, energetic songs. Scientific research have shown that when you listen to such music, endorphins are released in your body, which help you perk up and overcome stress.
  - Try not to include sentimental, romantic love songs. This type of music will not help the release of endophins in your brain. On the contrary, such songs will only increase your sadness and stir up emotional wounds.
  - When you find yourself feeling sad again, it's time to turn on some upbeat music to perk up your spirit. If you turn on dance music, you can simultaneously get endorphins from listening to upbeat music and from energetic dance moves.
3. Take your mind off your heartache. Once you've gotten past the initial stage of giving yourself space to grieve and deal with your emotions, it's time to take your mind off the unpleasant thoughts. When you start thinking about your ex, do something, try to switch your thoughts to something else, come up with some new activity, etc.
  - Call those friends who said you can always count on them if you need help. Read a book you've been wanting to read for a long time. Turn on a funny comedy (and get the added bonus that laughter helps you heal).
  - The more you do to stop thinking about your ex and your mental anguish, the faster you will feel better. Of course it's difficult. It is very difficult to control your thoughts all the time and monitor how much time you spend thinking about your mental pain.
  - Try not to get carried away with "painkillers." It could be something that allows you to stop feeling pain for a while. Sometimes you really need something to give yourself a break from the heartache. However, be careful that these types of distractions do not harm you, especially in the beginning when you need to learn how to cope with negative experiences. Such a “painkiller” can be alcohol or drugs, but it can also be continuous viewing of TV shows or constant presence on the Internet. Or even foods you eat just to make you feel calmer.
4. Change your lifestyle. One of the problems that faces you is that the usual way of life that was formed when you were together has suddenly been destroyed. If you start doing something new and change your routine, it will open the door to new habits. There will no longer be room in your new life for the person who broke your heart.
  - You don't have to radically change your life to break old habits. Do simple things, for example, go shopping on Saturday morning instead of lying in bed; Try listening to a new style of music or discover a new hobby, such as karate or flower gardening.
  - Try not to make radical changes in your life before you have carefully weighed the pros and cons. Especially try to avoid drastic changes in the beginning, immediately after a breakup. If enough time has passed and you want to show that you are really changing, then it's time to get something like a new tattoo or shave your hair bald.
  - If you have the opportunity to take a short vacation, go on a trip. Even taking a weekend trip to a new city can help you gain a new perspective on what happened.
5. Don't hinder your own healing. Of course, relapses happen from time to time when you are trying to recover from a failed relationship. This is normal, this is also part of the healing process. But there are some things that you can anticipate and thereby prevent them from setting you back in your movement towards a new life.
  - Pay attention to the words you usually use. When you say: "Monstrous!" or “Terrible” or “Nightmare!”, you continue to see the world in black. This creates negative thinking. If you can't think positively, try to at least stick to neutral expressions. For example, instead of saying, “It's over forever!”, say, “This breakup was very painful for me, but I will do my best to get over it.”
  - Try not to embarrass yourself. You don't need to drive past your ex's house every evening and see if he has found a mate. Try not to call or text your ex while you've been drinking. Things like this only stop you from moving forward.
  - Remember that everything changes in this world. Your feelings today will be completely different in a week, month or year. We promise that a time will come when you will be able to calmly remember this period of your life without experiencing pain.
Part 3
Accept what happened
1. Stop blaming. An important part of your healing and acceptance of what happened is to understand that it is not helpful to blame yourself or another person. What happened is what happened, so you can't do or say anything to change what happened, so what's the use of blaming.
  - Try to find good feelings towards the other person. No matter what he did or didn't do, try to find compassion in your heart for him and what is happening to him. This doesn't mean you have to forgive him immediately, it just means you stop being angry with the person.
  - On the other hand, don't blame yourself for everything. You can acknowledge and reflect on what you did wrong in previous relationships, and promise yourself that you won't repeat past mistakes in the future. But don’t waste time agonizing over your own mistakes over and over again.
2. Feel when you are ready to move forward. It takes different amounts of time for people to heal from heartache. It is impossible to name a specific period of time that you will need, but there are signs by which you can determine that you are moving in the right direction.
  - You no longer worry if you find several missed calls on your phone from an unfamiliar number.
  - You have stopped picturing the scene of your ex returning to you and on his knees begging you for forgiveness.
  - You have stopped finding associations with your life in films and songs about unhappy love. You notice that you now like to read and listen to things that have nothing to do with this topic.
3. Try to understand who you really are. There is one thing that usually goes unnoticed while you are in a relationship with someone and during the first stages of grief after the relationship ends. This is the ability to be yourself. For a long time, you felt like you were part of a couple, and then someone who was grieving a lost relationship.
  - Work on your personal development, both external and internal. Play sports or change your appearance. These things are great for boosting your self-esteem, which may have suffered during a breakup. Determine which aspects of your personality you need to work on. For example, if you tend to be passive aggressive when you're feeling down, try to work on finding healthier ways to express your anger.
  - Develop character traits that reflect your uniqueness. When you're spending all your time with another person or trying to cope with the aftermath of a breakup, you tend to pay less attention to your personal interests. Try to restore relationships with people with whom you did not have enough time to communicate during the relationship and after the breakup, and again do what you are truly interested in.
  - Try something new. This can help you meet new people who have never met the person who broke your heart. Learning new things can help your brain take its mind off the heartache and start living in the present.
4. Try not to return to the past. You don't want to interfere with the healing process from your emotional wounds, so don't do anything that will trigger your mental suffering again. Sometimes this cannot be avoided completely, but you can try to minimize the risk.
  - Don't let this person come into your life too quickly, or at all. You will only irritate your own mental wounds and feel your misfortune with the same acuteness. Sometimes it's impossible to remain friends with your ex.
  - If you do do this, don't despair. The work you have done to heal from emotional wounds has not been in vain. You will still win. Do not give up. When it comes to relationships, everyone has experienced relapses of heartache in one way or another.
5. Do what brings you joy. When you engage in activities that bring you joy and happiness, you cause dopamine levels to rise in the brain. This Chemical substance, which helps a person feel happy and fight stress (its level after a breakup can rise to a critical level).
  - Do things that don't bring up memories of your ex. Start doing something new or pick up hobbies you gave up while you were in a relationship.
  - Learn to be happy. People are more willing to communicate with those who are happy because happy people Help others feel happy too. Of course, you can't force yourself to feel happy all the time, but try to do things that bring you joy and live a life that makes you feel happy.
  - Reward yourself for every small victory. If you haven't thought about your ex all day, reward yourself with a delicious cocktail or a piece of cake.
- Continue to love yourself, even if it seems overwhelming. In the long run, it will make you stronger.
- By helping other people, you are helping yourself. Let's people good advice and don't show negative feelings.
- A good joke will make you laugh even in these difficult times. Even if it seems inappropriate to have fun at such a moment, laugh - and life will become a little happier!
Warnings
- Don't rely solely on our advice. If you feel like you are getting worse, consider maybe you need professional psychological help.
- There is no need to harm yourself, even if you feel like you have lost the love of your life.

Each of us at least once in our lives has encountered such a condition as mental pain. It can occur after the death of a loved one. Also, mental pain visits us when parting or being separated from a person who is very dear to us. Mental pain appears when our personal self-awareness suffers, we feel bad and our mind is looking for some way out of the current situation.

What is mental pain

Is there an organ in our body called the soul? Any doctor will answer no. But why then does it hurt? In fact, mental pain manifests itself in the discomfort of consciousness, in the violation of the integral “I”. When it’s difficult for you, it’s painful, you don’t want to accept a life situation and put up with it, your soul refutes information from the outside.

With mental pain, your heart contracts as if in a vice, it becomes difficult for you to breathe, your eyes are clouded, and your thoughts are concentrated on only one situation in your life. Mental pain does not allow you to live, work, or study normally. With severe mental pain, a person stops any social life, he closes himself within four walls and endlessly thinks, thinks, thinks... Perhaps he is wondering if everything could have been different, if he could have prevented the current situation.

The human soul is like a living being that is sick during a period of serious emotional upheaval. And this soul, undoubtedly, must be treated so that it does not die. After all, if the soul dies, a person becomes cold, indifferent and angry at the whole world. This cannot be allowed.

Causes of mental pain

Mental pain can visit us in different life situations.

The loss of a loved one causes extreme emotional pain. At first the person cannot come to terms with what happened. He denies in every possible way what happened and does not want to accept it. Gradually, his consciousness accepts and comes to terms with what happened - this is the next stage of experiencing what happened. A person learns to live without the deceased, builds his life without him. All stages of suffering from loss must be gradual and consistent so that a person gets rid of mental pain in the required time frame.
Usually grief goes away within a year of the absence of a loved one. After that, humility remains. Even in religion there are rules according to which you cannot cry for a long time for a deceased person, because “he will feel bad in the next world.” No one can check whether this is true, but long suffering will indeed not lead to anything good.
Parting with a loved one. This is also one of the most powerful experiences. When a close loved one leaves, the world collapses, as well as all the plans made for life together. It is important here not to forget the reason why the separation occurred. Did he leave you? Then why do you need him like that? If a person could not consider all your advantages, you should not run after him and humiliate yourself. There will be someone who will appreciate you. And if you left him, then do not forget about the reasons why you made such a decision. Every time you think about his “beautiful eyes,” remember why you decided to break up.
Illness of a family member or friend. It is also quite a strong and painful feeling. Especially when the disease is serious. Mental pain gnaws at any stage of the disease, especially if a child is sick. Parents feel incredibly guilty. It seems to them that they could have saved, protected, and noticed minor symptoms earlier. The feeling of guilt for not looking after the child gnaws from the inside. In this case, you need to try to pull yourself together and tell yourself that you are not to blame for anything. This could happen to anyone. And in general, you have every opportunity to return a sick person to his former life. Be strong at least for his sake. And don't stop fighting.
Betrayal. When there is a betrayal of a dear and close person, mental pain shackles all the insides. This is very difficult to experience. This is not only about love betrayal, although this is also, undoubtedly, pure betrayal. A close friend or relative can also betray. After betrayal, the main thing is not to become angry at the whole world and not to become hardened. You need to accept that people are different and you didn’t get the best specimen.
Humiliation. For a person, this feeling is another catalyst for severe mental pain. Children suffer when their parents undeservedly and unfairly punish them, a wife suffers from a tyrant husband, subordinates tiptoe around their demon boss in fear of losing their jobs. Such destruction of personality can be found all the time; it has a very strong effect on the psyche. A raped woman experiences the strongest emotional distress—mental pain remains with her almost until the end of her life. Getting rid of such an experience is not easy, because every time we replay the events of the ill-fated day in front of us and remember everything in detail. Any memory is like a knife stabbing into our heart. In this case, you need to understand that you are not to blame for the current situation, you were simply a victim in in this case. Find the strength to accept this situation and move past it. Become stronger and prevent this from happening in later life.

These are the main, but not all, reasons why a person may experience mental pain. Anything can happen in life, because life is a series of good and bad moments, and you need to be able to cope with the negative.

First and most important. After you have suffered, accepted and survived the situation, you cannot be left alone with it. You can’t isolate yourself and suffer, suffer, suffer. Your loved ones, family, and friends should help you with this. They should keep you busy with something interesting and exciting all the time. Try not to sit at home, go out for a walk, just wander around the city. Four walls won't cure your heartache.
If your pain is mixed with anger, it needs to be poured out. Are you angry at a specific person, situation, life or fate? Buy a punching bag for home and hit it as much as you like. This way you can throw out your emotions and experiences.
Animals are considered the best remedy for treating mental pain. They relieve anxiety, worries, and stress incredibly easily. Instead of a melancholic cat, it is better to choose a perky little dog that will not leave you sitting still. A trip to the dolphinarium will also be effective. Dolphins have unique ability charge with energy and give the desire to live.
Forgive and ask for forgiveness. If the cause of your mental pain is guilt, repent. Ask for forgiveness from the person you offended. Conversely, if you are angry with someone, stop doing it. Mentally let the person go and be happy for the situation that happened. For example, if you were betrayed, understand that it’s good that it happened now, and not many years later. If you were wronged undeservedly and very strongly, let go and believe that fate will reward the offender what he deserves and will take revenge for you.
Get creative. After all, mental pain creates a gap and emptiness that needs to be filled with something. Great to deal with emotional experiences Drawing, dancing, music, singing, embroidery helps. You will be able to pour out all your pain into this activity and get rid of it forever.
Constant self-destruction can lead to real illness in the body. So stop blaming yourself for what happened. Try to get rid of mental pain through physical activity. A great choice is running. While running through the alleys, park or forest, you can be alone with yourself, listen to music and finally understand what exactly excites you. Another real way to relieve stress is swimming. The water will take away all your worries. Physical activity produces positive hormones that will help you cope with emotional stress.
There is another way to get rid of worries and pain. Write everything that worries you on paper. All your tears, worries, worries - everything that makes you suffer. And then burn your letter and scatter the ashes to the wind. This psychological technique will force you to mentally let go of your emotional state.

How to prevent heartache from returning

Some people like to suffer. They have not experienced anxiety for a long time, but they are satisfied with the role of the victim. But we know that you are not like that. Therefore, you try with all your might to get rid of mental pain forever.

Don't make an icon out of your loss. If you are faced with such a terrible situation as the death of a loved one, survive it with dignity. In order not to return to the past every time, distribute all the things of the deceased, leaving something for yourself as a keepsake. There is no need to leave the room in the same condition as it was “with him/her.” This will make you suffer even more.

If you broke up with your love, there is no need to leave all your photos together in the most visible place in the room. It takes you back to worries and anxieties, to days of a past life. If you truly want to get rid of heartache, get rid of this pedestal of victimhood immediately.

Mental pain is common to everyone, because we are living people with our own feelings and emotions. If your soul hurts, it means you have it. Don't dwell on your shock, try to move forward into the future. Everything that does not kill us makes us stronger, remember this.

Video: how to overcome mental pain

A person would rather choose to experience suffering at the bodily level than to cope with mental experiences. When mental suffering occurs, a person wants to get rid of it naturally. However, to understand how to do this, you need to understand the very concept of mental pain.

What is mental pain?

The online magazine site defines mental pain as painful, strong and insurmountable suffering that a person experiences at the emotional level. Some sages say that mental pain is much more terrible and dangerous than physical pain. It causes pain that is incomparable to pain during illness. It can also provoke the development of various diseases at the physiological level.

Let us note the most notable examples. For example, when a person experiences a breakup in a love relationship, he may lose his appetite. Isn't this an upset stomach? For example, when a person is afraid of something, he loses sleep.

Mental pain, which begins at the level, also affects the body, which may become ill or cease to function normally.

Moreover, mental pain is the result of a person's thoughts. Problems do not exist in nature. There are simply certain events happening in the world that have no positive or negative connotation. And only a person sees problems in some of them. All this happens because he accepts some things and events, but does not accept others. What a person calls a problem is actually a situation that he is uncomfortable with. He is uncomfortable, he does not want to get involved with something, which is why he calls a completely natural situation a problem.

This is not an imperfect person, but he himself or other people do not accept in him those qualities and characteristics that are inherent in him. This is not a tragic event, but the person himself reacts to what is happening tragically, negatively, with tears.

All problems are in your head. Problems may not exist if you perceive everything that happens neutrally or positively. React to events that please you with a smile, and to unpleasant ones - as if they were tasks that need to be solved. Failures are given to you as lessons that you need to analyze, understand and solve in order to still get the desired result. Some events should simply be accepted as fact. And the remaining cases are given in order to gain experience, knowledge and wisdom.

There are simply situations that may not be comfortable for you. However, this does not make them problems to be avoided. You just need to see the situation with a sober look, impartially, understand what result you still want to achieve compared to what you currently have, and begin to act in the direction to change the situation.

All problems are in your head. You are creating a problem out of some situation with your shouting, swearing and ultimatums. You do not solve a situation, but make it a problem that other people must solve for you. By blaming someone for something you don’t like or feel uncomfortable with, you shift responsibility from yourself to those at fault. You wait for the situation to be resolved on its own or through the actions of other people. When will you learn to solve your “problems” yourself?

Problems are created by man himself. In nature, events simply happen that can be unpleasant. But this is a reason to find a solution, and not to quarrel and. However, a person rarely adheres to the recommendations considered. He continues to create problems in his head that cause him mental and emotional pain.

Thus, mental pain is indignation, rejection, resentment and other negative experiences that a person experiences when he does not agree with something. And there are many events taking place in the world that a person may not like. Is it really possible to react to every event with mental suffering now? Only a person chooses how to feel and react in a situation that he does not like.

At the same time, there is massive propaganda going on. The common man has always been subject to programming by the leaders of society. IN different times people are programmed for one thing or another. If previously it was honorable to join the army and fight, today people understand that they are being used as slave labor. Leaders quarrel with each other, and ordinary people fight, although it is not their fault.

At all times, programming for illness and misfortune has occurred. The common people cannot be happier, richer and healthier than their king/king/sovereign. This is why the majority live miserable and poor, since the king must excel his people. Unhappy people are easier to lead, manage, and manipulate. Promise an unhappy person to give a piece of happiness, and he will do everything you ask of him! This is the mechanism that operates when individuals take advantage of the grief and miserable situation of the majority.

First you need to make people sick and unhappy in order to control them later! From childhood, every common person is educated. Sometimes even the parents themselves don’t notice how they are giving their children false programs, which will later make them poor and unhappy. Any media sources are aimed at making a person mentally ill.

Day after day, from TV screens you hear how wars are happening, murders are happening and people are getting sick. You read from books that you are sick with something or can get sick if you don’t do certain things. Either you are advised to be sacrificial and helpful, or you are programmed to desire to be free and independent. It's all programming.

“Abstinence from sex leads to frigidity/impotence”, “For a woman, the main thing is beauty”, “You need to have sex every day”, “A man is a breadwinner, and a woman is a keeper of the hearth”, etc. All these are destructive programs. People begin to love each other with neurotic love. Men become public figures and women become second-class citizens. Women are made into tools in the hands of men, and men are programmed to have sex almost every hour. But excessive ones deplete the human body.

You are being programmed for a life where your own actions will lead you to poverty, illness and misfortune. For example, the usual expression “To get rich, you need to work more than 8 hours a day” does not lead to wealth. Such a program is beneficial to leaders, entrepreneurs, and employers, who will always be happy to hire people who will only work, not sleep or eat. You won’t get rich this way, but you can please your bosses. Be vigilant and watch what phrases and beliefs you program yourself for mental suffering.

How to cope with mental pain?

Obviously, there are many reasons for the occurrence of mental pain. A person first begins to form it in his head when his ideas do not coincide with the real state of affairs or when he worries about his loved ones. All people can feel emotional pain. But how to deal with it?

All people experience mental suffering in their own way:

Some are trying to suppress it. However, it goes into the subconscious, periodically reminding itself, especially when events arise that hurt just as painfully.
Others talk about mental pain and pour it out. Either they take out their anger on people or objects, or they communicate with relatives and friends who support and help.
Still others are looking for a way to solve a situation that causes mental pain. Perhaps this option for eliminating suffering is considered the most ideal.

How to get rid of mental pain?

If a person does not recognize the presence of mental pain, then he avoids it, and in fact it ceases to be on a conscious level. It goes into the subconscious, from where it periodically breaks out when a person again encounters events that mentally wound him. Here we need to get rid of mental pain, not avoid it.

If you drive the pain of the soul into the subconscious, then it will begin to change a person: his character, relationships with others, and close him off from new opportunities and acquaintances. A person will begin to relate differently to the world and people.

A person stops creating, being proactive, working and resting normally. While he is tormented by mental torment, he is not able to live calmly and enjoy life. All this happens at the level of emotions that control an adult and conscious person.

If you cannot cope with mental pain on your own, then the help of a psychologist is offered, who will help you understand the problem and eliminate it.

Heartache after a breakup

Another form of mental suffering is post-breakup pain. Both women and men can suffer. The departure or death of a loved one always causes resentment and other emotions that cause pain.

After a breakup, a person goes through the following stages:

Negation. First, a person denies the occurrence of an event that does not make him happy. I don't want to believe what happened. The person still has hopes that everything can still be returned.
Indignation, hatred. When a person admits the presence of a separation or departure of a loved one, he begins to look for those to blame. He blames either himself or his departed partner. Here hatred manifests itself both towards oneself and towards the partner.
Pain. Tears, crying, humility and other experiences occur at the stage when a person accepts his problem. He learns to live in a new way, first experiencing acute emotions.

Severe mental pain

Mental pain is the result of thoughts and experiences that a person himself creates. To get rid of severe suffering, which is sometimes unbearable, you need to follow one of the scenarios:

Eliminate the cause of mental pain. For example, make peace with a loved one if the pain is caused by his departure.
Come to terms with the situation, change your attitude and perception of it. If the problem cannot be eliminated, then you should accept it and learn to live with it.

It is recommended not to run from your own experiences. Emotions are painful, but you have to accept their presence. After which you should come to your senses and understand what is happening. Mental pain is denial, non-acceptance, and resentment towards a situation. What happens if emotions change?

The result of heartache

Mental pain does not bring anything good. The sages say that a person grows and develops through suffering. However, an ordinary person often only further develops complexes and fears based on the pain that he experiences. As a result, a person begins to run even faster from situations that can cause unpleasant emotions.

You can get rid of mental pain only by willpower. Even when working with a psychologist, you will have to make an effort and experience the desire to get rid of suffering.

Mental pain, suffering - every person experienced this torment. Resentment from betrayal, betrayal, injustice, grief, melancholy - all these feelings are associated with pain that cannot be relieved with medication.

Unfortunately, many people, trying to escape the pain that torments them, find themselves trapped in addictions. This applies to alcohol, drugs, and gambling addiction.

Running away from problems is for the weak. It sounds corny, but it's true. Most people, who tend not to take responsibility for their lives, who look for the cause of failures and mental discomfort from the outside, cannot survive the slightest pain and do everything not to feel it, which only aggravates the situation.

On the other hand, mental pain pushes creative people to create masterpieces, for example, the most wonderful poems written precisely in a state of mental anguish, looking for a way out.

What to do when your soul hurts?

Let's consider several possible situations when torment arises, and try to understand how you can heal mental wounds.

Hidden benefit

Psychological work with a problem begins with establishing its cause. If you communicate with people who constantly "hit" the possibility, you will not need psychotherapy. It will be enough to change your environment. But if you deliberately find yourself next to such people over and over again, it makes sense to think about why you need this. What pushes you to such “self-torture”? Is there some hidden benefit for you in this?

Very often it causes severe mental pain. In this case, treatment will be useless as long as there is a need to achieve hidden goals. In order to do so, it is necessary to identify them and revise them.

Grief

Another common cause of mental pain is a prolonged experience, for example, from a person or from the loss of a close relative.

In these cases, the help of a psychologist is often necessary, but the person himself can take steps to get rid of the problem.

Firstly, there is no need to fuel memories by looking at photographs of departed people or listening to sad music. Secondly, try to switch your attention to new activities, do what you like most, and most importantly, do not be alone.

When experiencing grief, there is a period when you need to endure the acute pain and let it go. A psychotherapist can help with this. If you are unable to forget the deceased person, try to mentally talk to him and say goodbye. Left alone, light a candle, think about the one who left, internally let him go, making the decision to continue living. Very often, such a choice requires real courage.

Bodily tension

Any phenomena of our consciousness, one way or another, manifest themselves at the bodily level. Acute mental pain leads to the appearance of areas of tension, or muscle tension, in the body. For example, a hunched, tense back, “petrified” shoulders, clenched jaws. Such manifestations are a consequence of restraint. Movement frees the body, returns life to it, and, as a result, mental pain ceases to be unbearable, it “blooms” and gradually goes away. Try to move more, walk, play sports, even if at first it will be difficult for you to force yourself to devote time to this. This will help you cope with pain.

Working with Restraint

You often hear: “Don’t keep your grief to yourself, talk it out, you will feel better.” This is true. On initial stage a person needs to release negative emotions and share experiences with loved ones. If you have no one to talk to, you can do a simple job: take a piece of paper and write on it what worries you, what torments you, what hurts your soul. If you write sincerely and do not hold back, you will quickly feel relief. This work is useful because it helps you understand yourself better, and the experiences taken outside no longer seem so scary and insurmountable. By the way, it is recommended to destroy the piece of paper after completing the work. For example, it can be burned. This symbolic action will help you let go. negative emotions.

Defeat

Mental pain can also be caused by the experience of defeat in a matter that is very important to a person. In this case, the memories come back again and again, a feeling of shame arises, and thoughts of what should have been done are tormented. Such a state of mind will be cured if a person finds the cause of his defeat and builds a different course of action. You need to stop self-searching and understand what led to failure, and what qualities you need to change in yourself to avoid this in the future.

In general, the psychology of experience is built on looking for support in your mind, and only then working with feelings. is the master of himself and his life, which allows him to experience negative emotions without being captured by them. In addition, having learned to think and build our lives correctly, we begin to work for the future, eliminating the occurrence of mental pain and developing resilience in the face of a variety of life circumstances.

Heartache allows you to gain new experience and maturity. The main thing is not to be afraid to live in the present to the fullest, rejoicing, grieving, suffering, learning lessons and achieving new victories. After all, we all came into this world to experience the fullness of existence, and not to hide in a cocoon of experiences. Think about it, you can live and continuously move forward, or you can “experience”, that is, remain in place while life passes by. The choice is yours.

“When you feel unbearable, don’t say, I feel bad.

Speak, I feel bitter, for bitter medicine is used to treat a person.”
Weiner Brothers, "The Loop and the Stone in the Green Grass."

Heartache. No matter how much we would like to get rid of it once and for all, it is an eternal companion of our development, a lifelong journey. We lose loved ones, unexpectedly find ourselves faced with difficult choices, difficult circumstances overtake us, we break off relationships with loved ones... And then an uninvited guest comes - pain. It does not stand at the threshold, does not observe, but unceremoniously climbs into the soul, destroying in its path joy, hope, faith that we will one day be able to recover from this burden. And your arms drop, and your back hunches, and your heart is squeezed in a vice, and there is a lump in your throat, and you want to cry, and, hugging yourself by the shoulders, swing slowly and monotonously, like a pendulum counting down the endless stretching seconds...

And since mental pain comes to each of us sooner or later, we need to learn to coexist with it during this difficult period. This post will help you think a little differently about the mental suffering we all experience. And take bitter medicine in order to heal quickly.

The first thing I recommend starting with for those whose souls are hurting right now is to recognize the postulate that pain opens your eyes to the truth . She is actually an indicator of truth. This means that the time has come not to drown in sadness like a frog in milk, but to churn the butter with our actions and understand why this pain is given to us.