Rules of pedagogical communication consultation on the topic. Communication Ethics Rules for Communication with Teachers

How to establish effective communication?

• Parents meeting
• You came to talk to the teacher
• The teacher called you to talk
• If the conversation doesn't go well...

Many parents do not know how to communicate with teachers! Yes, yes, children are taught during “school preparation” that when Maryivanna enters the classroom, you need to stand up, if you want to answer, raise your hand, and so on. But parents are not taught anything like that! Let's correct this mistake!

Parents meeting

Parent meetings are for informational purposes only. The teacher makes it clear organizational issues, are general for the entire class and will not be specifically about your child. This, firstly, is not interesting to other parents, and, secondly, it is not entirely correct. If your child has educational problems, you probably don’t want this to become the subject of general discussion, right?

” No need to reach out and ask “how is mine?” or “why was the last test given a C, I looked and it was a solid B.” All this is a reason for an individual conversation with the teacher.

You came to talk to the teacher

Of course, you have a desire to talk to the teacher. But it’s good to remember that, as in the joke, “there are many of you, but I am alone.” If the teacher talks with each parent for an hour, that’s already 30 additional working hours per week! Therefore, it would be nice to follow simple rules that will make life much easier for both you and the teacher.

In advance arrange a meeting time, convenient for both you and the teacher. There is no need to wait around after classes and during breaks, because you are “literally just for a minute.” The teacher may have his own plans for just this minute!

In advance formulate a list of questions addressed to the teacher. It’s not easy to answer the question “how’s my life?” Therefore, immediately identify and specify the topics that concern you. For example “we are not good at penmanship, please recommend some exercises that will be useful”. Or “It seems to me that my child doesn’t get along with Vova (Masha), is this becoming a problem in the class and what can be done”?

You may have important information to tell your teacher. Try to formulate it as practically as possible. The story that a schoolchild has chronic ***itis will not make the right impression. "So what?" - thinks the teacher who hears about such a disease for the first time. That's why wishes must be specified: "don't give sweets" or “put me at the first desk”. If there are problems in the family that the child experiences hard (for example, the death of a close relative), it is also worth telling the teacher about this.

Sometimes parents believe that the more information about their child they tell the teacher, the better, and they compile a biography of their child almost from the cradle. There is no need to do this - not a single teacher can keep in his head a detailed dossier on all the students. Communicate something that may be important to the teacher- about your child’s talents and hobbies. "Loves to draw", “goes to music school, vocal class”, “loves animals, participates in the youth club”.

” "Easily offended" , “will do the task only if you cheer him up” and “if he doesn’t solve the problem, you need to ask him again” - important information for the nanny, not for the teacher. A teacher is not a nanny!

The teacher called you to talk

Any parent at this moment feels a little like a schoolboy. Therefore, unfortunately, it often “falls” into one of three positions.

Aggressive: I am challenged to a fight by an evil dragon, which I must confront in order to protect the child. The best defense is an attack. Don’t listen to what they tell me, but blame and intimidate me!

Victim: An evil cannibal calls me into a cave to eat me instead of a child. If I immediately admit that I am guilty of everything, agree with everything, assent and ask for forgiveness, then perhaps they won’t eat me.

Associative:“we” got a bad grade, “we” behaved badly in class, and now the teacher wants to blame “us”, that “we” are a bad child and a bad teacher. After all, the child and I are one!

All three positions are very unproductive. Remember that you and your child are two different people. And also - you are not a lawyer or a supervisor for a child, you are his teacher! If a problem arises, it must be solved together with the teacher as equals.

” It is the ability to be on equal terms with the teacher that determines how effective your interaction will be. Remember, you are now one team!

Find out in detail what the problem is and what the teacher thinks is the cause. Don’t deny it right away - perhaps you “can’t see the forest for the trees.” Take time to think, analyze the situation, talk to your child. Perhaps the teacher doesn’t know something - for example, your child is disrupting a lesson because a classmate is secretly teasing him. Try to avoid blaming and justifying intonations - it doesn’t matter who is to blame for the problem, it’s important to solve it.

If the conversation doesn't go well...

Perhaps you followed all our recommendations, but still failed to reach mutual understanding. It doesn't happen often, but it happens. In this case, suggest that the teacher jointly contact a third party: a school psychologist or head teacher. Sometimes a fresh look stranger itself extinguishes the conflict. Sometimes the optimal solution requires “administrative resources”, for example, transferring a child to another class, or conducting part of the classes individually.

” You should not contact the authorities immediately, over the teacher’s head. Even if he doesn’t agree with your opinion, he is sincerely interested in resolving the conflict.

Finally, there is no need to offer the teacher gifts, money, sinecure (let’s pretend you’re my child’s tutor, and we’ll pay you). A teacher is not a racketeer who must be bought off at any cost. The teacher is a friend to both you and your child.

Prepared by Antonina Rybakova

You know, having read all of the above, I don’t want to talk badly about teachers, but you can’t blame parents either, because who else, if not a parent, knows their child better, and who else, if not a parent, will stand up for the child. Now I have a cry from the heart. It started with the fact that we went in the first grade, my child is very clever, but very hyperactive, I always talk with him a lot, instilling in him a sense of responsibility and respect for elders, but when I went to the first grade I was faced with the fact that I constantly listened and read comments in the diary that he and 3 other students were the most bad and always interfere. (How can you say that children are bad and interfere, I didn’t understand listening to this at the meeting....) Two students left, you can say “THEY WERE EATEN” (the teacher and parents close to the teacher, who had previously gone to kindergarten where our teacher worked, and this is a statement from other parents) then after the next meeting where they announced “that again my child is acting terribly, this is just terrible” one of the parents told me but now they will take on you too. Then at the next meeting I was attacked right away three mothers, all the same ones close to the teacher. Moreover, all this happened after a meeting in front of other parents and with a teacher who, not only stopping the swearing and insults directed at me, quietly walked around the class and was silent, with satisfaction on her face. I endured listening to everything I explained that I, for my part, talk to the child and scold him when necessary, but without hearing they shouted to me that he was constantly beating these three girls, after sorting it out, then after a while it turned out that the girls were constantly calling him names and picking on him, and at the end of the year they themselves turned out to be not gifts, already in grades 1-2 they create groups where they are children of oligarchs (as one of them said) and everything is allowed to them, insulting other children, giving them nicknames, calling them names and humiliating them, the teacher looked at everything quietly and silently, because these are children - girls of close parents. I always went to school asking how our behavior was, how our studies were, I asked the teacher to move us from the last desk to the first one so that I could be seen by the teacher, maybe the child wants to attract attention with his behavior, I asked for advice, on what did they tell me, you’re tall in front of me, you’re in the way, your behavior is worse than anyone else’s, you don’t stick to the program, change schools, then after another remark from the teacher at home, I fucked the child, the child says one thing, I talk to the teacher, she answers me, he’s a liar, and to other parents he says that, oh, there is such a mother who blindly believes the child. Although throughout the first 2 grades I worked so hard on his upbringing, believing the teacher that my child was just a monster, offending for some reason the same girls. Very often I talked with the teacher, looking for a way out of the situation without swearing, trying to find an answer to the question that constantly tormented me: are we really learning and leading worse, and now two years later, with all the circumstances, I realized the teacher was dancing to the tune of the mothers who were bribing her (gift envelopes), those three mothers with whom she is friends. Our grades were constantly lowered, she didn’t call her to the board, she put her in the last desk, she ignored the child in every possible way. After the first quarter of the first grade, the child lost the incentive to study, although in preparatory group kindergarten we were the first to do difficult tasks and the first who all quickly solved some difficult tasks. Now it turned out that we were given another teacher for a while due to the current circumstances. I didn’t recognize my child, he runs after school to do his homework, he’s ashamed of not learning something, he says chokingly that he was called to the board and put on the first desk, although we were taller than other children, but for some reason the teacher immediately saw who should be supervised where, the child’s attitude towards everyone was the same, the endless notes in the diary stopped, only 4-5 began to appear. Having met the teacher, I left with such a positive feeling, she resolved the conflict in front of me, the children immediately stopped swearing and went in different directions, without swearing or taking him out of the class to the level of swearing between parents as was the case with our teacher. I finally saw the light, maybe my the child showed spoiled behavior somewhere, but he whose personality must be protected from the teacher by listening and believing the child. I really scolded myself for what I built and endlessly read nativity to my child, believing the teacher, I always said that the teacher should be listened to, the teacher only wants you kind, always defended her so that there was honor and respect for her, believing that the problem in us was looking for in her child, well, where is he lying, where is he not finishing his word, my child stopped telling me everything that was happening in the class, and the teacher While I was engaged in hypocrisy and discussion behind my back, and constant biting and reproaches of my son in front of his classmates, it was only now that I noticed that my child was silent, never complaining, he was afraid that there might be a conflict. And the conflict appeared when one day our teacher returned (and half the class on the last day of that teacher cried that she was leaving and said you remain our teacher) in front of everyone at the meeting I couldn’t stand how the teacher and mothers made fun of the parents and children whom they ate, the teacher who, giving all of herself, approached each of the students very individually , she said, the children are wonderful, but there is no discipline, and many just need to be pushed to knowledge, to be interested. Standing up for the new teacher, she said that maybe we should learn from this teacher, encourage more to study, calling more to the board, and not just excellent students, and do so that swearing children can measure themselves without leaving school, without leading to a conflict between parents. I wanted to convey to the teacher that children cannot be divided into good and bad, because they are all individuals. After which the teacher said, I don’t want you to change schools. I really want a healthy environment in the classroom for my child, attention, understanding from the teacher, I haven’t seen any of this for 3 years now, but why should I transfer my child at the whim of the teacher and 3 mothers. I thought that the teacher would be more attentive when I turned to him, I never ignored the entries in the diary, I never spoke badly about her, especially in front of the child I tried to raise her authority in his eyes. And instead of the teacher listening to me, she now ignoring me, the child, the place of words of gratitude is that the teacher replaced her, paying attention to our children, she is sorting out the relationship with that teacher and I feel the berries ahead, now I see the true face of the teacher, who is not interested in teaching children, but is interested in raising parents, reproaching what they are like bad and familiarly announce at meetings how bad the children are.....I don’t want to say that she is a bad teacher, but why not take and adopt something from another teacher, why in a month did you see a new teacher in everyone individual personality, and found an approach to everyone, she also scolded them if they made noise, but with her, discipline in the class improved, the children became more attentive in class and this was noticed not only by me, but by other parents, I was also shocked by the fact that parents were discussing it very zealously our teacher is very unhappy with the way she treats children, but for some reason at the meeting everyone is silent as mice, they smile in the teacher’s face, and after the meeting they wash her bones, is this really better, because I didn’t want to offend her, I wanted her to - I adopted something from a new teacher, having somehow abandoned this teacher’s methodology. To be honest, I’m just afraid that in a class like this where there is a reign of superiority of some children over others, and the teacher doesn’t notice it, but flares up and it progresses himself, we can, in the process of clarifying the relationship, who who is right and who is wrong, let the children go...I don’t know what to do......

RULES FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION:

ADVICE FOR A YOUNG TEACHER

1. Monitor the culture of your speech. The teacher's speech should be a standard. It is difficult to achieve mutual understanding with a student, making mistake after mistake.

2. Control the manifestation of your emotional states(you can be sincerely indignant, indignant, rejoice, but not lose a sense of proportion and never shout).

3. Encourage students to express their thoughts and share their guesses. Every child should feel needed in class. Instill in your children the idea that it is better to make mistakes than to do nothing.

4. Learn to listen and understand your interlocutor. Teach children not to interrupt the speaker.

5. Remember for yourself and instill in your children: you can disagree with someone’s opinion, but it is unacceptable to express assessments of other people only on the basis of the thoughts they express.

6. Reassure students that any question they have will be treated with due respect and that any question they may have will be answered within curriculum.

9. Try to end contact with students in such a way that there is a desire to meet again. The student should enjoy communicating with the teacher.

10. Try to overcome psychological barriers. To do this you need:

– Try to “stop and look around” and carefully analyze whether you have this or that barrier in communication;

– in the process of communication, strive to get away from those stereotypes that interfere with successful interaction (mannerism, distance, didacticism, etc.)

The secret of successful communication

Visual Impact

Acoustic impact

Verbal influence

Posture, gestures, how often you look your interlocutor in the eyes, demeanor in general - all this is reflected in the impression you make on people. Remember that movements and facial expressions are eight times more powerful than words, you must be aware of their capabilities and pay special attention to them

The intonation pattern and rate of speech also influence the perception of our words by others. Since almost a quarter of speech impact is acoustic, you have to make it work for you.

Although the verbal component does not play the biggest role in the impression you make, you need to remember: the impression will sooner or later be forgotten, only the essence of what you said will remain in memory

In the new academic year Not only students, but also parents will have to meet with teachers. The reason for such communication may be different - from the usual parent meeting before being called to school class teacher. All mothers and fathers love their children, so they often end up on their side, having a negative perception of the teacher in advance. This often leads to a new round of problems.

How to properly build a relationship with a teacher so that everyone is satisfied with each other - parents, teachers, and students?

Situation one. Parents meeting

How to behave?

A parent meeting is a group meeting. The teacher must bring up class problems and organizational issues for discussion, and familiarize parents with new orders and regulations. You shouldn’t expect one-on-one conversations with the teacher at the parent meeting. Main task parent - listen carefully: write down important things, note for yourself topics that need to be discussed with the child. If the teacher wants to communicate with one of the parents separately, he himself will say so. There is no need to force yourself to talk about your child during a collective discussion of class problems, and certainly there is no need to ask in front of everyone whether this or that student is successful. Can you imagine what kind of ridiculous situation you will find yourself in if you are unsuccessful? And even if he is successful, it is unlikely that other parents will be interested in hearing about it.

As a last resort, you can ask when the teacher is ready to see you to discuss the questions you have accumulated. But never forget that collective problems are no less important than personal ones, because your child is part of a team and his academic performance largely depends on what surrounds him at school.

Situation two. The teacher called the parents to school because he was unhappy with the child.

How to behave?

First, don't neglect the meeting. No matter how busy you are, you need to find time to communicate with the teacher, because one unresolved problem can develop into a serious conflict. Secondly, the dialogue with the teacher should begin on a positive note. For example, like this: “Thank you for taking the time to meet with me and discuss the problems of my child. I hope that we will find the right solution." A conversation between two adults should take place as equals. Do not try to “pressure” if you are older than the teacher. The opposite situation will not be beneficial either - when the teacher is older and the parent bows to his authority and agrees with all the teacher’s conclusions, without heeding the arguments of reason.

If during the conversation it turns out that the teacher was right and his claims against the child are justified, it is best to admit it. If, in your opinion, he is wrong, then you should listen to him in silence, take everything you heard into account and then, without emotion, decide how to behave further. Disputes and demonstrations of superiority will only aggravate the situation. In both cases, when the teacher is right or wrong, the conversation can be turned into a peaceful direction with a calm phrase: “Thank you for telling us about the problem. I'll take note. Has my child made any progress?”

It often happens that a child’s academic performance declines due to problems in the family. In this situation, you need to be extremely frank with the teacher and honestly tell him about what happened at home. If a student is experiencing internal drama, the teacher must know about this in order to choose a model of interaction with the child.

Situation three. Parents decide to talk to the teacher because the child complains about unfair grades

How to behave?

A meeting with the teacher must be scheduled in advance (for example, by telephone or email), and not burst into the classroom in the middle of the lesson shouting: “Why did you give my son a D?” . Respect the teacher's time: firstly, an unscheduled meeting can distract him from checking tests or preparing for a lesson, and secondly, due to being busy, the teacher will not be able to pay enough attention to your problem.

The question that worries you needs to be formulated in advance in order to be specific and to the point.

If the reason for the visit to school was a recently received bad grade, before meeting with the teacher, parents should open the textbook and ask what the child knows on the topic that was rated unsatisfactorily. In most cases it turns out that . Children, even if they study “good” and “excellent”, may indeed not be prepared homework. Then the purpose of your conversation with the teacher is to understand how to help your child master complex material.

But even if the teacher is wrong, the dialogue must be conducted in a respectful manner. In this case, you can suggest that the teacher check the child’s knowledge again and give him a chance to correct the bad grade. Under no circumstances take your child with you to the meeting! A conversation between parents and a teacher is a conversation between adults.

Many parents complain that the teacher deliberately lowers students' grades in order to then offer his services as a tutor. If you find yourself in such a situation, you still don’t need to prove your case on your own. It is better, if the conversation with the teacher reaches a dead end and a way out of the conflict situation has not been found, contact the school principal, but at the same time you must be prepared for the fact that the administration educational institution will test the child's knowledge of the subject.

If it turns out that the student is really poor at the material, do not try to “appease” the teacher with gifts. Talk to the teacher frankly, admit that you were wrong, and leave all the presents until the moment the problem is resolved.

It’s not worth going to the school principal immediately after a problem arises, bypassing the teacher’s office. This is a common mistake that many parents make. The teacher should feel that you are ready for dialogue with him, and not think that in any situation you will complain about him to management.

There is only one teacher, but there are many children. Any responsible parent should remember this, so there is no need to ignore the teacher’s requests to come to a meeting, but you shouldn’t go to school too often either, intrusiveness will irritate the teacher and prevent a successful resolution of the conflict.

However, if you see that a child’s performance has decreased, do not wait for an “avalanche”, but rather immediately talk to the teacher. The teacher will appreciate your interest, and together you can find a way out of any difficult situation.

By maintaining a positive relationship with the teacher, telling him about problems at home that could affect the student's performance or behavior, while maintaining tact and respect, you can create the basis for a positive interaction with the school teaching staff. Any professional teacher will always meet the child halfway, seeing that the parents are interested in overcoming difficulties.

Yulia Shershakova

Rules pedagogical communication.

1. Formation of a sense of understanding.Psychological barriers interfere with communication and negatively affect the well-being of the teacher and students. Psychological barriers need to be overcome. After all, the productivity of the educational process largely depends on how the relationship with students develops. The main barriers that may arise in the process of communication between teacher and students:

1) Barrier of bias and groundless negative attitude.It is expressed as follows: you outwardly, for no reason, begin to have a negative attitude towards this or that person as a result of a first impression or for unknown reasons. You should establish possible motives for the appearance of such an attitude towards a person and overcome them.

2) The barrier of a negative attitude introduced into your experience
any of the people.Someone told you negative information about a student, and you develop a negative attitude towards him, although you yourself know little about him and have no experience of personal interaction with him.

3) Barrier of “fear” of contact with students.This barrier may arise for a young teacher who does not have sufficient experience in communicating with students.

4) Terminological.When communicating with students, the teacher should
rely on their life experience, take into account their level of concepts and
representations.

5) Relationship barrier- the emergence of a feeling of hostility,
distrust of the teacher, which also extends to the information conveyed by him.

To overcome psychological barriers you need:

• Try to “stop and look around” and carefully analyze whether you have this or that barrier in communication;
• in the process of communication, strive to get away from those stereotypes that interfere with successful interaction (manneriness, distance, didacticism, etc.)
• The higher the authority of the teacher, the fewer barriers to assimilation of the information offered.

2. Mandatory establishment of personal contact with children.

People are always concerned about their personality - attitude towards it, understanding, respect, etc. A student, especially a teenager, wants to be perceived as an individual. This explains his desire for self-affirmation and self-realization. Therefore, in the process of communicating with students, it is very important to establish personal contact. All people are divided into 3 categories according to the leading channel of perception (kinesthetic, visual, auditory).

One child will enjoy our tactile touch (touch your hand, stroke your head, hold you close). Another needs to be addressed with some words (called by name, something addressed to him), and for the third, it may be enough that we look at him and make visual contact.

3. Demonstration of one’s own disposition,which manifests itself in how we smile (openly, casually or maliciously), with what intonation we speak (friendly, authoritarian, etc.), how expressively our movements are colored (restrained, dismissive, fussy, etc.). ).

4. Constantly showing interest in your students.When communicating with students, there should always be a genuine interest in the child’s personality. The manifestation of interest is expressed in the way the teacher listens to his interlocutor, asks questions, empathizes with him, confirming his attention with remarks.

5. Providing and asking for help. In every activity
students need to create a positive psychological background,
a background of joy and approval through advances, through emphasizing individual exclusivity, through the removal of fear, through
providing hidden assistance.

6. Pedagogical requirement.

Through our pedagogical influences, we form a value attitude in students or achieve the manifestation of the desired behavior. To achieve this, we place various demands on students. Making demands is combined with respect: if a teacher is not demanding, then this characterizes his carelessness towards his students.

How to make a pedagogical requirement?

1. The demand must be completed.If you asked to do something, then you need to ensure that this request is fulfilled. You cannot stop halfway: in this case, the child gets the impression that the teacher himself is not serious about his requirement.

2. The requirement must be supported by a clear instructional program of action.Competent, thoughtful, and sometimes detailed instructions are a guarantee of success.

3. The requirement must be presented in an ethical manner.It should be remembered that it is psychologically easier for both a child and an adult to fulfill a requirement stated as advice or a suggestion. How can you start communicating with a student? From what speech formulas? (Please do it; be kind.)

4. The demand must be made in a decisive, energetic tone that encourages action.A demand made in a timid, trembling voice is inferior in comparison to one made confidently. Here the teacher will need his ability to pronounce the same phrase with various intonation variations.

5. The expediency and reasonableness of the requirement, its reasoninghelp the student understand the essence of what they want from him.

7. Pedagogical encouragement.

An important part of pedagogical communication is the teacher’s positive attitude towards the student’s personality and a system of encouragement techniques. However, reward itself can be either effective or ineffective. Let's consider the criteria and signs of effective communication:

1. Carried out constantly.
2. Accompanied by an explanation of what exactly is worthy of encouragement.
3. The teacher encourages the achievement of certain results.
4. Orients the student to the ability to organize work in order to achieve good results.
5. Connects what has been achieved with the efforts expended, believing that such success can be achieved in the future.
6. The teacher compares the student's past and present achievements.

If pedagogical encouragement meets these requirements, then it affects the motivational sphere of the student’s personality. Based on internal incentives, the student completes the task with pleasure because it is interesting, or wants to develop the corresponding skill, that is, he receives satisfaction from the learning process itself.

Such encouragement helps to show interest in a new job when the previous task is completed.