Psychological tricks in dealing with people. Psychological tricks in communication. Basic psychological tricks and tricks

Most people during a conversation tend to direct the course of the conversation in the right direction.

Having studied the basic psychological methods of influencing your opponent, you can easily achieve your goal.

Associating with a scientist on a heap of rubbish is better than associating with an ignoramus on a carpet.
Musa al Kazim

How to build a relationship with a person

Many people don’t even think about why they can’t communicate with others. Linguists and psychologists argue that in order to make the communication process more effective, it is necessary to pay attention to certain moments of the communication process.

In some cases, a few on-duty phrases are not enough to establish contact with the interlocutor. It is very important to skillfully and subtly influence a person in such a way that he himself wants to open up and continue communication.

Basic psychological tricks and tricks

There are a large number of psychological tricks and tricks, using which you can achieve your goal. By learning the individual techniques of communication, you can easily find mutual language with any interlocutor.

In our life, sometimes it happens that we cannot find a common language with someone or find ourselves in a situation where we are embarrassed to ask another person about something.

Almost all people on Earth find themselves in situations where they experience difficulties in communication. To overcome such a psychological barrier, it is worth mastering the most effective methods of communication.

Most often, friendly communication is hindered by such factors as: self-doubt, one’s words or actions, self-absorption in one’s problems, categoricalness, bad mood, self-confidence and banality.

✔ Uncertainty most often gets in the way between interlocutors. Discomfort, lack of the right words - these are signs of psychological insecurity. If this interferes excessively with a person in life, in career growth, etc., then there is only one way out - seeking help from a professional psychologist.

✔ Introspection to your problems repels the interlocutor, because everyone is interested in talking about their own, and not interested in hearing about other people's problems. Therefore, when choosing topics for conversation, you need to carefully bypass those issues that are of interest only to you. It is better to prepare topics that are interesting to the interlocutor - so you will pass for an attentive person.

✔ Categorical - not the best friend in the dialogues. Intransigence and rigidity of views, rejection of someone else's point of view repel the interlocutor. This is permissible in isolated cases, when without categoricalness it is impossible to prove one's point of view on some important issue. In all other cases, you should be flexible and allow the interlocutor to defend his opinion.

✔ Few people can command their mood, so it's best to admit to the interlocutor that you are not in the best mood. Thus, you will evoke sympathy and condescension.

✔ Self-confidence is similar to swagger. It should be borne in mind that all people are different, with different education, level of knowledge and worldview, so if you want to be known interesting interlocutor, then you need to be loyal to those with whom you communicate.

✔ Banal topics for conversations cause one desire - to end the conversation as soon as possible. The conversation should be interesting from start to finish, the phrase "How are you?" and the answer "All right" does not provide an opportunity to continue the conversation. It is better to ask the person about his specific plans.

It is important to show your friendly mood during a conversation - smile, say some kind of compliment, etc. This will position the interlocutor faster and more accurately than the flow of on-duty phrases.

♦ Here are some techniques you can use to build relationships with others.

1. In case if the answer of the interlocutor did not suit you- for example, he did not say something, expressed himself unclearly, or lied - no need to ask again. Instead, just silently and carefully look into his eyes - this technique simply will not leave him a chance, and he will be forced to continue his thought.

2. If someone is yelling at you, make an effort and remain completely calm while remaining unperturbed. The first reaction of the screamer is anger, which your behavior will only provoke, but it will subside very quickly, and reaction number two will begin - guilt for your defiant and aggressive behavior. Most likely, it is the screaming one who will ask for forgiveness.

3. If everyone in the company starts laughing at once, then everyone at the level of instinct looks at the one who is most attractive to him, with whom he would like to become closer. Therefore, catch glances after a successful joke - you will learn a lot of new things.

4. If you know that you will hear criticism from a person(they will make comments or scold), take courage and try to sit or stand next to him - in this case it will soften, and the negative will come from it many times less than if you were at a distance.

5. Eating in a person is associated with calmness and security, because we do it most often at home, in our native walls. That is why, if you are very worried, chew gum: This will trick the brain into thinking what you are eating, which means it will make you feel more confident and calm.

6. The old and proven method used by many students in the exam - imagine that the teacher is your good and close friend, then it will be much easier to answer, and you will feel calmer. This technique works in other situations as well. For example, it can be used before an important interview.

7. When meeting a person, express a little more joy in his attitude.: for example, or try to pronounce his name softly and warmly, then over time you will begin to relate to him much better, and the joy of meeting will be sincere.

8. If your work is related to people, then you can "make" them behave more politely and gently: Place a mirror behind you so that your interlocutors can see their reflection. As a rule, in the mirror we always try to look better, smile, but we don’t want to see ourselves as evil and harmful.

9. To win over a person at the first meeting and get his sympathy, just determine his eye color at the time of meeting: eye contact is conducive to you.

10. If want to attract the attention of someone you like stare at an object directly behind his shoulders. As soon as you realize that you have caught the eye of the object of sympathy on yourself, quickly look into his eyes and smile a little - it works flawlessly.

11. Actually we can control our stress: when you are very worried, feel how you began to breathe deeper, how your heart began to beat faster, and try to force yourself to breathe more calmly and balance the knock. We really can do it.

12. Setting any requirements or conditions, initially overestimate the bar. Most likely, the person will not agree to this and refuse. But on the other hand, he will 100% agree to the real conditions that you offer later: people tend to give you less if they denied you something more before that.

13. People are drawn to those who are confident in themselves and their actions., so just show that you know exactly what you're talking about (even if you don't really).

Many believe that the essence of human communication is only the exchange of information. But it is not so.

The essence of human communication is what kind of feedback (at the level of feelings, emotions) you give in response. In what tone, what intonation do you express feelings. It can be surprise, calmness, sadness, joy, delight, etc.

♦ What would you like to know about the principles of communication with other people?

The first is that you should not feel guilty during communication. Psychologists have found that behind the feeling of guilt is the fear of punishment. If you experience fear of punishment, you thereby "open the door" to a person who treats you unkindly. Feelings of guilt have a destructive effect on.

Second - do not react to anger, irritation of your interlocutor with fear or anxiety. It is advisable to learn to defend your psychological boundaries calmly.

Third - no need to make excuses, clarify, explain anything when they find fault with you. It is wiser to answer kindly and calmly, but to formulate the response phrase only in the form of an open question. An open-ended question begins with the words "What? Where? When? From where? What exactly? How exactly? For what purpose?" For example, "What exactly surprises you?"; "What's wrong?"... When claims or wishes are expressed to you, you can say "I'll think about what can be done." With this phrase, you do not allow the interlocutor to associate work with your personality. If you have not coped with the performance of work somewhere, this is not a reason to devalue you as a person.

Fourth - it is desirable to learn to speak, at least in a calm tone. Aggressive, hostile speech, full of hatred and resentment, makes an unpleasant impression on others.
Kindness and the ability to get along with other people are signs of mental well-being.

Our facial expressions are closely related to emotions: we raise our eyebrows when we are touched, we squint our eyes when we cry. And, on the contrary, facial expressions affect the internal state: if right now we make a grimace, similar to the one that appears on the face when crying, most likely, tears will begin to roll on their own☻ .

Use this feature to your advantage: smile! Smile just like that, for no reason, and in just a few seconds this smile will become real and sincere!
According to www.adme.ru, www.psyline.ru, www.vitamarg.com

There are people who radiate an inexplicable magnetism, which attract both friends and enemies to their side. Do you also want to be like a famous actor or politician who has earned a reputation as a favorite of the public? Know that they were not born as such, and the point is not at all in their brilliant external data. As we know, beauty is a subjective concept. In order to achieve universal recognition and respect, these individuals had to use the wonders of psychology. Here are the rules that will help you increase your own attractiveness in the eyes of other people.

Unique look

In order for people to unmistakably recognize you, you need to develop a unique image that can be built around a certain detail. It's not just about beauty and style. Oddly enough, flaws in appearance are remembered faster. For example, the infringement of mimic nerves enables the actors to develop a unique "crooked" smile, more like a sly grin. Let's recall several famous personalities who managed to make flaws in appearance or ridiculous attributes their calling card.

The stage image of Charlie Chaplin is recognizable on all continents. We associate the silent movie star with a funny false mustache, an oversized suit and a cane. Actress Tilda Swinton often neglects makeup, Marilyn Monroe is impossible to imagine without a mole and blond curls. Our contemporary Dita Von Teese gained popularity by exploiting on the screen the image of the beauties of the 40s of the twentieth century with the indispensable red lipstick on her lips. Winston Churchill was overweight and did not let a cigar out of his mouth, Joseph Stalin remained faithful to the Caucasian accent, smoking pipe and lush mustache. The ingenious painter Salvador Dali, in addition to thin branded mustaches, was distinguished by original facial expressions. All these tricks helped famous figures of politics and art to gain wild popularity.

A big dream

In order for others to reach out to you and appreciate you as a unique person, it is vital for you to set a global goal for yourself. Show your ambition and desire to change something in this world. Fight for your ideas and stand up for your beliefs. They say that a person who has no dreams can be compared to a book that has no plot. No one wants to read a meaningless work, no one wants to communicate with a person who has not found meaning in life.

Self confidence

Charisma cannot be cultivated without self-confidence. This is quite difficult for those who are used to relying on someone else's opinion and outside help. But the people who surround you should, on a subconscious level, feel the victorious energy emanating from you. Start making decisions on your own, don't be afraid to take risks and listen to your intuition. Know how to communicate your ideas to others, and if necessary, defend your beliefs. Not only your behavior, but also your speech should betray confident person. Avoid using the words "probably", "hope" and "maybe".

Let go of the complaints

Would you like to be like a person who constantly complains and grumbles about fate? So other people will not set you as an example if you do not part with complaints. Charismatic individuals successfully master the tactics of positive thinking, which does not accept criticism and unpleasant conversations.

Use non-verbal cues

We have already found out that a person who aspires to become a favorite of the public must exude unshakable self-confidence. But in addition to actions and speech, non-verbal signals can come to your aid. You don't have to enroll in a psychology course to master body language. Here are some basic rules: do not slouch, stop fiddling with small objects, smile, make direct eye contact with the interlocutor, avoid closed body positions (crossed arms and legs). When you go out in public, act like you're a Hollywood star on the red carpet.

Become a good storyteller

Many people think what to say interesting story only a select few can. However, this is a delusion, and anyone who wishes to become a good storyteller or speaker can become a good speaker. Speak in a confident tone, use humor (self-irony is especially good), be emotional and positive. Do not attach much importance to your humorous slips, consider it a workout. Tell stories from your life that can interest and inspire other people.

Eye contact

When you are in contact with another person, try to keep your eyes on their face. A closer look can be more eloquent than a thousand words. Eye contact demonstrates your interest in communication. The interlocutor is sure that you listen to him and accept him as a person.

Practice active listening

When communicating with people, try not to be distracted by extraneous things (mobile phone, view in the window or random passers-by). Thus, your interlocutor will understand what is necessary for you and even special. You may not remember everything he says, but try to say his name more often. This is a fail-safe technique that works for everyone without exception.

Use a mirror effect

Mirroring is another easy way to win over other people. To do this, you need to copy the intonation of the interlocutor, his facial expressions, gestures, duplicate some important words. This method is based on the nature of narcissism, so it works flawlessly. The interlocutor will involuntarily begin to feel your commonality with him.

There is an opinion that one of the main tricks to help win people over was revealed by Benjamin Franklin, an American politician. One day, he decided to win the sympathy of a man who was clearly distrustful of Franklin by resorting to a psychological trick: he asked the man to lend him a rare book and then kindly thanked him. As a result, they became friends, finding common interests and topics for communication.

The fact is that a person becomes more favorable to those to whom he has done good than to those to whom he himself owes.

The one who once did you a good deed will be more inclined to do something good for you again than the one who owes you.

Trick #2: Ask for more than you need

This technique works every time, allowing us to get exactly what we need. Its main charm lies precisely in its cunning: if you need to get something from your employer, spouse, or even your own children, then ask in advance for more than you expect to receive.

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A person who does not want to fully satisfy your huge need will most likely offer an easier option. And exactly what was needed! Bravo, you are a virtuoso manipulator!

Trick #3: Call the person by their first name

This is how a person works, that he always likes to hear his name - this is the most pleasant consonance of sounds that you can think of. And you must admit, when a loved one affectionately says “You are my dear Masha / Nastenka / Lenochka”, then it becomes so warm and cozy inside. And this is really a powerful psychological trick that allows you to win over anyone!

Dale Carnegie, famed psychologist, writer, and educator, wrote in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People that mentioning a person's name often can transform any relationship for the better.

Trick #4: The Mirror Effect

In theater universities and acting schools, they often use the Mirror exercise, the main task of which is to learn to capture the mood of your interlocutor and feel him as if you are Siamese twins. Use it in your life and the result will not be long in coming!

To learn how to master the “mirror”, try to train on relatives and friends: pay attention to their gestures, mannerisms, facial and body expressions under any circumstances. And then, communicating with them alone, repeat these movements. This will create a trusting relationship.

Trick #5: Stay close to the critic

A critic is a person who is inclined to express his opinion, often negative, in order to increase his weight in society. In general, the character is unpleasant for everyone, but he still exists and is able to well spoil, if not life, then a day in life.

To avoid overly criticizing such a person, try to stay close to him. We're not talking about friendship or close relationships, it's different: a person tends to speak less or softer about those who are nearby.

Psychological tricks

Bringing the enemy "off balance". Relying on slow thinking and gullibility. Distraction and misleading.

1. Much more interesting are those tricks that can be called psychological. They are based on the knowledge of some properties of the human soul, and some of our weaknesses.

The state of mind during an oral dispute has a huge impact on the conduct of the dispute. When we are "in shock", i.e. we are seized by a light, pleasant excitement, in which thought, memory, imagination work especially clearly and vividly, we argue better than usual. If we are very excited about something, embarrassed, confused, "hot", if our attention is distracted by something, we argue and think worse than usual, or even quite badly. (Of course, other things being equal). From this arises a series of psychological tricks designed to unbalance us, to weaken and upset the work of our thought.

2. There are many different techniques for this. The crudest and most common trick is to irritate the enemy and piss him off. For this, rude antics, “personalities”, insults, mockery, mockery, obviously unfair, outrageous accusations, etc. are used. If the enemy "boiled" - the case is won. He lost many chances in the dispute. Some skillfully try to “turn it up” to the desired degree. I saw a trick: with injustice and ridicule, the sophist unbalanced his youthful adversary. He began to get excited. Then the sophist took on an air of unspeakable good nature and a patronizing tone: “Well, Jupiter! You're angry, so you're wrong." Well, what are you, father! It's worth getting so excited! Calm down, calm down! What (58:) fever are you, etc. So after all, he brought the youngster to white heat! His hands are trembling with excitement and indignation. Throws himself blindly in a dispute, anywhere. I stopped thinking at all and, of course, “failed”. But they also use various other methods to “unbalance”. Another deliberately begins to mock at your "holy of holies." In person, he does not start, no! But a careless idealist can be "inflated" to the last limit. If the dispute is very important, in front of the listeners, responsible, then, they say, others even resort to the "artists' trick." Some artists, for example, singers, in order to “cut off” their rival, before his performance tell him some extremely unpleasant news, upset him with something or piss him off with an insult, etc., etc., in the calculation that after that he will not be in control of himself and will sing badly. So, according to rumors, some disputants do not hesitate to act occasionally before a responsible dispute. Personally, I have never seen this dastardly trick, but it is certainly possible. You have to be careful against it too.

3. If the enemy is a person "not fired upon", gullible, thinking slowly, although it can be accurate, then some impudent "thinking conjurers" try to "stupefy" him in a verbal dispute, especially in front of listeners. They speak very quickly, often express thoughts in a form that is difficult to understand, quickly replace one another. Then, “without letting them come to their senses,” they victoriously draw the conclusion that they desire and throw an argument: they are the winners. The most arrogant sometimes do not hesitate to cite thoughts without any connection, sometimes absurd, and while a slow-thinking and honest opponent tries to catch the connection between thoughts, without in any way suggesting that such impudence is possible, they already leave the battlefield with a triumphant look. This is done most often in front of such listeners who understand absolutely nothing about the topic of the dispute, but judge success or defeat - by appearance. Here is a well-known example of such a trick from The Weckfield Priest.

? "That's right, Frank! cried the squire. ... A beautiful girl is worth all the intrigues of the clergy in the world. What is all these tithes and charlatan inventions, if not a deceit, one nasty deceit! And this I can prove."

? “I would like to hear! exclaimed the son of Moses. I think I could answer you."

? "Excellent, sir," said the squire; who immediately figured it out and winked at the rest of the company to get us ready to have some fun.

? “Great, if you want to coolly discuss this topic, I am ready to accept the dispute. And above all, how do you prefer to discuss issues: analogously or dialogically?

? “Discuss wisely,” exclaimed Moses, happy that he could argue.

? “Again, excellent. First of all, first of all, I hope you won't deny that what is, is. If you don't agree with that, I can't argue any further."

? "Still would!" Moses answered. “Of course, I agree with this, and I myself will use this truth to the best of my ability.”

? "I also hope you agree that the part is less than the whole?"

? "I agree too!" exclaimed Moses. "This is both right and reasonable."

? "I hope," exclaimed the squire, "you will not deny that the three angles of a triangle are equal to two right angles."

? “There is nothing more obvious,” Moses replied, and looked around with his usual gravity.

? “Excellent,” exclaimed the squire, and began to speak very quickly: “Once these premises are established, then I assert that the concatenation of self-existence, acting in a mutual dual relationship, naturally leads to a problematic dialogism, which proves to a certain extent (59:) that the essence of spirituality can be attributed to the second type of precabili.

? "Wait, wait!" Moses exclaimed. “I deny it. Do you really think that I can give in to such wrong teachings without objection?”

- "What?" - answered the squire, pretending to be furious: “you do not yield? Answer me one simple and clear question: do you think Aristotle is right when he says that the relative is in relation?

“Undoubtedly,” said Moses.

? “And if so,” exclaimed the squire, “then answer me directly: do you think that the analytical development of the first part of my enthymeme is deficient secundum guoad or guoad minus and give me your reasons. Bring me your arguments, I say, bring me directly, without evasions.

? "I protest," Moses exclaimed. “I have not grasped properly the essence of your reasoning. Bring it down to simple sentence then I think I can give you an answer.

? “Oh, sir!” exclaimed the squire, “your obedient servant. It turns out that I must provide you not only with arguments, but also with understanding! No sir. Here I protest, you are too difficult an opponent for me.

At these words, laughter arose over Moses. He sat alone, long-faced, among laughing faces. He did not utter another word during the conversation.

Vekf. Holy Goldsmith. Chapter VII

4. A lot of gross and subtle tricks are aimed at diverting the attention of the enemy from some thought that they want to pass without criticism. The most characteristic subtle tricks are of this form.

The thought that we want to carry out in this way is either not expressed at all, but only necessarily implied, or it is expressed, but perhaps briefly, in the most gray, ordinary form. In front of her, they express such an idea, which, involuntarily, by its content or form, must attract the special attention of the enemy, for example, to hurt something, hit him, etc. If this is done successfully, then there is a very high chance that the trick will be successful for an ordinary opponent. He "overlooks" and misses an imperceptible thought without criticism.

Often (especially in disputes without long "speeches"), the technique takes the form of a "real" misleading ". Before the thought that they want to “convey” without criticism, they put some kind of thought that, for all reasons, should seem to the opponent obviously doubtful or obviously erroneous. It is assumed that every opponent is looking for weaknesses in our argument, and the majority pounces on the first weak point that comes across, without much attention skipping subsequent thoughts that come to it, if they are not conspicuous by fallacy. Let's say X needs to carry out without criticism an idea important for his goal, which the enemy can be very picky about if he notices its importance and incomplete evidence - the idea that the house in question is old. X decides to lead the enemy on a false trail. Knowing that an adversary defending, for example, some B. will certainly lash out with indignation at any accusation of B. of dishonesty, X says: deceit." If the opponent "attacks" the accusation, he can skip the "old house" without criticism. Then it remains in the heat of the fight to quietly repeat these words several times, hiding them in the shadows, until “the ear gets used to them” - and the thought is carried out.

This trick allows for a variety of modifications and, so to speak, "fiority". Sometimes, for example, feeling that a false thought, under the wing of which they want to imperceptibly carry out an argument, may not in itself attract criticism of the opponent, they artificially try to show him that they themselves consider it a weak (60:) point of argumentation. This is where talent comes into play. For example, a person, in tone, facial expression, play of pauses, reproduces the behavior of a person who has expressed a weak objection and is afraid for him; unsure of the strength of the argument, and trying to quickly carry it out unnoticed, eluding criticism. An insufficiently sophisticated adversary can quite easily fall for this bait, if the sophist does not "overplay", does not emphasize his "desire to escape" too unnaturally, etc. etc.

It is worth noting that in oratory speeches, one of the strongest means of distracting attention from thoughts and their logical connection is pathos, an expression of a strong emotional upsurge, as well as an excess of successful tropes, figures, etc. It has been verified by experience that usually the listener is the worst at assimilating and remembering the meaning of such sections of speech.

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Chapter 39 Simple tricks - How do you do it? people often ask me, meaning by this, “How do you manage to create prolific and successful?” “I have a lot of simple tricks,” I answer. And I'm not kidding. And although everyone is already tired of hearing about the "inner child", I know that my