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Sheinov Viktor Pavlovich

HIDDEN HUMAN MANAGEMENT

(Psychology of manipulation)

Publishers: AST, Harvest

The book is devoted to techniques for influencing people. It explores the premises and studies

technology of hidden control and manipulation. Numerous examples of the application of this

technology in relations between managers and subordinates, women and men, children and parents, teachers and students, etc.

The book helps you master this method of managing people and teaches you how to protect yourself from manipulators.

Addressed to those who want to achieve a lot, relying on the power of their intellect.

INTRODUCTION PART I. PSYCHOLOGICAL FOUNDATIONS OF HIDDEN CONTROL Chapter 1. EXPLOITATION OF HUMAN NEEDS 1.1. TYPES OF NEEDS 1.2. PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS 1.3. SECURITY NEED 1.4. THE NEED TO BELONG TO A COMMUNITY 1.5. NEED FOR RESPECT, RECOGNITION 1.6. NEED FOR SELF-realization 1.7. THE NEED FOR POSITIVE EMOTIONS Chapter 2. USING HUMAN WEAKNESSES 2.1. WEAKNESSES INHERENT IN EVERYONE 2.2. WEAKNESSES INHERENT IN SOME Chapter 3. USE OF PSYCHIC FEATURES 3.1. PSYCHOLOGICAL CONTAMINATION 3.2. IDENTIFICATION 3.3. TEMPLATES 3.4. FEELINGS 3.5. COMMUNICATION 3.6. PERCEPTION 3.7. IMPACT OF FIRST IMPRESSION Chapter 4. USE OF STEREOTYPES 4.1. RITUALS 4.2. STANDARDS OF CONDUCT 4.3. PRESIDENTIAL STEREOTYPES 4.4. TRADITIONS AND RITUALS PART II. HIDDEN CONTROL TECHNOLOGY INTRODUCTION Chapter 5. OBTAINING CONTROL INFORMATION ABOUT THE ADDRESSEE OF IMPACT 5.1. DETECTION AND USE OF INDIVIDUAL FEATURES OF THE ADDRESSEE 5.2. “READING” FACE AND VOICE 5.3. PANTOMIMIC Chapter 6. TARGETS AND LURE 6.1. TARGETS OF INFLUENCE 6.2. SELECTION OF TARGETS 6.3. LURES FOR THE ADDRESSER Chapter 7. ATTRACTION 7.1. PSYCHOLOGICAL CONTENT OF ATTRACTION 7.2. THE ART OF COMPLIMENTS 7.3. SUBTLES OF LISTENING 7.4. MEANS OF ACHIEVEMENT OF ATTRACTION Chapter 8. COMPULSION TO ACTION 8.1. CONSCIOUS AND SUBCONSCIOUS 8.2. Suggestion 8.3. MANIPULATION OF INFORMATION 8.4. TRICKS 8.5. RHETORICAL METHODS 8.6. METHODS OF NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) PART III. PROTECTION AGAINST HIDDEN CONTROL AND MANIPULATION Chapter 9. PROTECTIVE PROCEDURES 9.1. PROTECTION ALGORITHM 9.2. DO NOT GIVE INFORMATION 9.3. BE AWARE THAT YOU ARE BEING CONTROLLED 9.4. PASSIVE PROTECTION 9.5. ACTIVE PROTECTION 9.6. FROM ESCAPE TO MANAGEMENT Chapter 10.

TRANSACT ANALYSIS AND COMMUNICATION FORECAST 10.1. INTERACTION ANALYSIS 10.2. TRANSACT ANALYSIS OF HIDDEN CONTROL 10.3. TRANSACT ANALYSIS BY MANIPULATION PART IV. HIDDEN MANAGEMENT IN OUR LIFE Chapter 11. OFFICE RELATIONS 11.1. HIDDEN MANAGEMENT AND MANIPULATION IN THE TEAM 11.2. SUBORDINATES MANAGE MANAGERS 11.3. HIDDEN MANAGEMENT OF SUBORDINATES 11.4. MANIPULATION OF SUBORDINATES Chapter 12. BUSINESS COMMUNICATION. NEGOTIATIONS 12.1. CREATION OF THE DESIRED ENVIRONMENT 12.2. SELF-FEEDING TECHNIQUE 12.3. HIDDEN CONTROL AND MANIPULATION OF A PARTNER 12.4. MANIPULATION OF NEGOTIATION PARTICIPANTS Chapter 13. SELLERS AND BUYERS 13.1. HIDDEN BUYER MANAGEMENT 13.2. SELLER'S REMINDER 13.3. MANIPULATION OF BUYERS AND SELLERS 13.4. MARKET IN OUR LIFE Chapter 14. WOMEN AND MEN 14.1. MANIPULATION OF SPOUSES 14.2. SEX AS A MEANS OF MANIPULATION 14.3. MANIPULATION IN A FEMALE WAY 14.4. HIDDEN CONTROL IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS Chapter 15. ADULTS AND CHILDREN 15.1. HIDDEN MANAGEMENT OF CHILDREN IN THE FAMILY 15.2. MANIPULATION OF CHILDREN IN THE FAMILY 15.3. CHILDREN MANIPULATE PARENTS 15.4. STUDENTS MANIPULATE TEACHERS 15.5. HIDDEN CONTROL AND MANIPULATION OF STUDENTS Chapter 16. POLICY 16.1. GENIUS MANIPULATOR 16.2. MANIPULATION IN THE SERVICE OF PROPAGANDA 16.3. GRAY SPOTS OF OUR HISTORY 16.4. HIDDEN MANAGEMENT - WEAPONS OF FAMOUS POLITICIANS 16.5. MANIPULATION OF VOTERS Chapter 17. ADVERTISING 17.1. HIDDEN CONTROL IS THE BASIS OF EFFECTIVE ADVERTISING 17.2. TECHNIQUES OF HIDDEN INFLUENCE ON CONSUMERS 17.3. INEFFECTIVE ADVERTISING 17.4. THE LAWNESS OF MANIPULators Chapter 18. MANIPULATION OF SPECTATORS 18.1. MANIPULATING ARTISTS 18.2. ATTRACTION LIKE AN ACTING 18.3. HIDDEN CONTROL IN THE SERVICE OF STAGE MASTERS CONCLUSION PROGRAM OF PRACTICAL LESSONS LITERATURE INTRODUCTION Many things are incomprehensible to us, not because our concepts are weak;

but because these things are not included in the range of our concepts.

Kozma Prutkov Attempts to control a person, a group of people and other human communities often encounter resistance from the latter. In this case, two paths are open to the initiator of the control action:

1) try to force them to perform the action imposed on them, that is, break resistance (open control);

2) disguise the control action so that it does not raise objections (hidden control).

It is clear that it is impossible to use the second method after the failure of the first - the intention has been guessed and the addressee is on guard.

The second method is used when they anticipate resistance and therefore immediately rely on the concealment of the influence.

In fact, in every group of people there is a person who influences others, often unnoticed, and others unconsciously obey him.

Hidden control is carried out against the will of the addressee and allows for the latter’s possible disagreement with what is being proposed (otherwise the initiator has no reason to hide his intentions).

Is it moral to secretly control another person against their will? It depends on the degree of morality of the initiator's goals. If his goal is to gain personal gain at the expense of the victim, then it is certainly immoral. We call hidden control of a person against his will, bringing unilateral benefits to the initiator, manipulation. The initiator who controls the influence will be called a manipulator, and the recipient of the influence will be called the victim (of manipulation).

Thus, manipulation is a type of hidden control determined by the selfish, unseemly goals of the manipulator, causing damage (material or psychological) to his victim.

Hidden management can pursue quite noble goals. For example, when a parent, instead of giving orders, quietly and painlessly controls the child, unobtrusively pushing him to take action in the right direction. Or the same thing in the relationship between a manager and a subordinate. In both cases, the object of control retains its dignity and consciousness of its own freedom. Such hidden control is not manipulation.

Likewise, if a woman, with the help of all sorts of feminine tricks, secretly controls a man so that he gets rid of bad habits (alcohol abuse, smoking, etc.), then such control can only be welcomed. In other cases, it is quite difficult to draw the line between whether it is manipulation or not. Then the term “hidden control” will have a broader meaning.

In the general case of hidden control, we will call the initiator of a control action a controlling subject, or simply a subject, or the sender of an action. Accordingly, we will call the addressee of the impact a controlled object or simply an object (of impact).

PSYCHOLOGICAL FOUNDATIONS OF HIDDEN CONTROL True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand in life, in ourselves, in the world around us.

Socrates Chapter 1.

EXPLOITING HUMAN NEEDS I cannot control the direction of the wind, but I can always set the sails to achieve my goal.

O. Wilde 1.1. TYPES OF NEEDS Four sources of manipulation Within us, in our misunderstanding of ourselves, lies the opportunity to manipulate us.

We are driven by our needs.

Each of us has some weaknesses.

Everyone is characterized by certain preferences.

We are all accustomed to acting according to the rules and observing rituals.

All this can be used (and is used!) by manipulators.

Classification of needs The following classification of human needs, proposed by A. Maslow, is generally accepted.

Physiological needs (food, water, shelter, rest, health, desire to avoid pain, sex, etc.).

l The need for security, confidence in the future.

l The need to belong to some community (family, group of friends, like-minded people, etc.).

l Need for respect, recognition.

l The need for self-realization.

At the same time, psychologists have established the enormous importance of positive emotions for a person’s mental health (and therefore physical health).

Satisfying each of the above needs brings positive emotions. However, there are things and circumstances that also give us similar emotions, but are not related to any of the five types of needs. For example, good weather, a beautiful landscape, a funny scene, an interesting book or conversation, favorite activities, etc. Therefore, we consider it possible to supplement A. Maslow’s classification with another, sixth type: the need for positive emotions.

Food is a pleasure. Enjoyment of taste. But every time you eat, the acid-base balance is disrupted and there is a danger of caries. Chewing gum "Dirol" with xylitol and urea protects your teeth from morning to evening!

A contagious example In the American city of Cleveland, the director of the zoo was very upset by the behavior of a young gorilla - she stubbornly refused to eat. Therefore, he climbed into her cage every day, ate fruits, bread, and roast until the inexperienced gorilla, imitating him, learned to eat on its own.

Then things went on their own - the physiological need for food plus the acquired skill did their job: the cub gained weight. (However, during the training, the director also gained 15 kg and now exhausts himself with diets in order to get rid of excess weight.) How to overcome the laziness of your husband The inhabitant of the cottage turns to her neighbor, a woman with an excellent figure, who came out into her garden: “Darling, could you wear your bikini? It suits you so well!”

Having received consent, she enters her house and says to her husband: “Would you like to see what swimsuits are now in fashion? Just like this on the neighbor. At the same time, mow the lawn.”

It is clear that the wife is using an erotic stimulus to force her husband to work. In addition, the husband, inflamed by the sight of seductive female forms (the wife knows this from experience), in bed in the evening will not be as lazy as usual.

With this manipulation, the wife achieves two goals at once.

The Naked Truth The effectiveness of manipulations using sexual and erotic needs is evidenced by the following historical episode.

Praxiteles, the famous ancient Greek sculptor, sculpted a statue of the goddess of love and beauty Aphrodite, using the hetera Phryne, who was distinguished by her extraordinary beauty, as a model.

A scandal broke out. In court, Phryne was accused of insulting the cult of the gods and wanting to introduce self-worship into the state. Prosecutors demanded that she be put to death.

The acquittal speech of Hyperides's defender did not impress the judges. Seeing this, he made a last desperate attempt to save the defendant. Turning to the accused, who was sitting next to him on the bench, he told her:

Stand up, Phryne.

And then he addressed the judges:

Noble judges, I have not finished my speech yet! No! There is still a conclusion left, and I will end like this:

look at the weight, you fans of Aphrodite, and then, if you dare, sentence to death the one whom the goddess herself would recognize as a sister...

Saying these words, Hyperides threw off Phryne’s clothes and exposed the charms of the hetaera.

A cry of delight escaped from the chests of two hundred judges.

Admired by the amazing beauty that appeared before them, the judges unanimously proclaimed Phryne’s innocence.

It was impossible, but now it is possible. Physiological needs can be used for hidden control without naturalism.

A certain woman came to the priest for advice. She dreamed of having a child, but her husband did not want this and took every possible precaution. The priest advised her to tell her husband that his efforts were in vain - she became pregnant. The woman did just that. My husband had to come to terms with it, since abortion was strictly prohibited. From now on there was no point in depriving himself of pleasure, the husband stopped using protection... and the wife soon really became pregnant.

Physiology took its toll.

The sexual component of popularity In modern pop music, the sexual aspect is used to the maximum extent. For example, those present at rock concerts claim that they feel a powerful flow of sexual energy coming from the stage.

Successful pop singers are usually sexually attractive to viewers of the opposite sex. Thousands of girls are in love with their idols.

“Stars” try not to start a family for a longer time, so as not to deprive their fans and fans of hope who dream of uniting with the “object” of admiration.

A noteworthy episode from the program “Musical Ring” with the participation of singer Julian. In two rounds, he was slightly ahead of his rivals in terms of the sympathy of television viewers. In the third, opponents asked him a question about his “wedding” with Nonna Mordyukova. After this, the audience turned away from Julian, although he sang incomparably better than his rivals.

Thus, the popularity of pop performers rests largely on the fact that they satisfy the audience's needs for sexual spectacles. This also applies to film and theater actors and actresses.

The sex appeal of many popular television journalists, especially female television journalists, is noteworthy.

1.3. NEED FOR SECURITY Use of fear This human need is the basis of one of the most profitable types of business - insurance. Professional insurance agents first intimidate the client in order to then insure him against all possible misfortunes.

The unforgettable Khoja Nasreddin used fear much more wittily than insurance agents.

Someone suspected neighbors of stealing his wallet. None of them admitted guilt.

Khoja gave each of them a stick of the same length and said: “Tomorrow you will all come to me with these sticks, and I will establish which of you is guilty: the one who stole the money will have his stick lengthened by a quarter overnight.”

Night has come. But the thief did not sleep and thought, overcome with fear: “By tomorrow my stick will increase by a quarter, and I will be exposed.”

He calmed down only by shortening his stick just as much as it should have grown.

"Marie October"

The investigation, built on manipulation using the fear of exposure, also turned out to be successful in a plot from the history of the French Resistance.

An unknown traitor betrayed members of this patriotic movement to the Nazis.

The survivors gathered to find out which of them was the traitor. Each gave evidence of his honesty. And Marie (the main character of the film “Marie October”) announced to the former underground fighters gathered in the room that she had managed to find the Gestapo man who was present at that very interrogation when one of them could not stand the torture and betrayed the rest. He is downstairs now and at her signal he will go up the stairs. “Perhaps the traitor will confess himself?”

The heroine of the film finally asked her comrades. But no one uttered a sound. Then Marie went to the doors, opened them and clapped her hands three times.

And then the heavy thunder of boots of a man was heard climbing the steps. His steps were loud and scary. They are inevitable. They are retribution.

And then one of the former underground fighters, no longer able to control himself, jumped up and rushed out of the room. The traitor gave himself away.

The technique used by Marie October was extremely simple. Of course, there was no “Gestapo man”. She simply asked someone she knew to stomp on the stairs.

The fire that never happened History has preserved another interesting story for our topic, concerning the already mentioned Praxiteles and the hetaera Phryne. The sculptor, as payment for love services, offered her to take the most beautiful statue in his workshop.

Phryne cried out with joy at this proposal, but after a short reflection she said:

The most beautiful of the statues?.. And which of them is the most beautiful?

“That doesn’t concern me,” Praxiteles objected, laughing. - I told you - choose - But I don’t understand anything about it.

So much the worse for you.

Phryne looked around the workshop filled with marble and bronze.

Well?.. - he asked.

“I take your word,” answered the young woman. - I have the right to take the statue from here. This is enough for me; I will exercise my right at another time.

A few days later, Praxiteles dined with his mistress. During the meal, a slave quickly entered, playing the role assigned to him by Phryne.

What's happened? - asked Phryne.

“Praxiteles has a fire in his workshop,” the servant answered.

In my workshop! - Praxiteles cried, jumping up from his seat. - I will perish if the flame destroys my Satyr or Cupid.

And he rushed out.

But Phryne, holding him back, said with a sly smile:

My dear, calm down: the flame will not destroy either Satyr or Cupid, it did not even touch your workshop, all this is nothing. I just wanted to know which of the statues you prefer. Now I know. With your permission, I'll take Cupid.

Praxiteles bit his lips, but the trick turned out to be so witty that it was impossible to get angry.

Phryne received Cupid, which she gave to her hometown a few years later.

Eastern despots As we see, manipulations based on fear have come to us from time immemorial.

History shows that many rulers cultivated fear in order to control people. With unheard-of (even for his time) cruelties, Timur (Tamerlane) kept in fear and obedience not only his entourage and people, but many peoples he conquered (this is described in detail in our book).

Ancient manuscripts conveyed an episode similar to our theme.

Takhmasi Kuli Khan had dinner with one of his favorites. He was served a dish with some new vegetables. “There is nothing better and healthier than this dish,” said the sovereign. “There is nothing better and healthier,” said the courtier. After lunch, Kuli Khan felt ill and could not sleep. “There is nothing,” he said, getting up in the morning, “worse and more harmful than these vegetables.” “There is nothing worse and more harmful,” said the courtier. “But you didn’t think that yesterday,” the sovereign remarked. “What made you change your mind?” “The respect and fear I feel,” the favorite objected. “I can blaspheme this dish with impunity: I am a slave of your highness, but not a slave of these vegetables.”

Having been caught in the falsity of his statements, the courtier cleverly gets out of the situation.

A deliberate demonstration of fear of the ruler is a protective manipulation of the courtier:

emphasizing that his safety depends entirely on the disposition of the sovereign, he thereby plays into his complacency and intoxication with power.

How they sometimes “read” thoughts The need of subordinates for their own safety allows dictators to easily “guess their desires.”

During Stalin's time, there was a practice of inviting outstanding artists to perform for the leader and his inner circle. After listening to Kozlovsky’s performance, the audience began to argue about what to order to sing again. Stalin interrupted them:

Why, comrades, you can’t do this. You need to ask the artist to perform what he wants. And Comrade Kozlovsky would like to perform “I Remember a Wonderful Moment.”

No comments needed.

King Solomon's court...

The need for security forces one to choose the lesser of two evils. Many manipulations are based on this.

The first description of such manipulation is found in the Old Testament, where the court of King Solomon is described:

“And one woman said: Oh, my lord! This woman and I live in the same house;

and I gave birth in her presence in this house. On the third day after I gave birth, this woman also gave birth;

and we were together, and there was no one else in the house with us;

only the two of us were in the house. And the woman's son died at night;

for she slept him. And she arose at night and took my son from me while I, your handmaid, was sleeping, and laid him to her breast, and she laid her dead son to my breast. In the morning I got up to feed my son, and behold, he was dead;

and when I looked at him in the morning, it was not my son whom I gave birth to. And the other woman said: No, my son is alive, but your son is dead. And she told her: no, your son is dead, but mine is alive. And they spoke thus before the king.

And the king said: this one says: “My son is alive, but your son is dead”;

and she says: “No, your son is dead, but my son is alive.” And the king said: Give me a sword. And they brought the sword to the king. And the king said:

cut the living child in two, and give half to one and half to the other. And the woman whose son was alive answered the king: Oh, my lord! give her this child alive and do not kill him. And the other said: let it not be for me or for you, chop it down. And the king answered and said:

give this living child, and do not kill him;

she is his mother.

And all Israel heard of the judgment, as the king judged;

and they began to fear the king;

for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him to execute judgment.”

And the court of "brothers"

But the plot from today's life is both laughter and sin.

On a country road, a huge jeep crashes into a cart, and it flies into a ditch. The horse twitches its hooves in agony, and the peasant lies and thinks: “Now the rich man will give me money for the damage.” A man gets out of the jeep, approaches the horse, takes out a pistol and shoots at point-blank range. Then he turns to the peasant:

How are you feeling, brother?

Thank you, it's fine.

The last two situations are completely different, but the same technique is used in them - the lesser of the two evils proposed by the initiator of the influence was chosen.

This technique is essentially exploited by people who create a reputation for troublemakers (or liars, or lazy people, or bores). They try not to get involved with them, because “to get in touch is more expensive for yourself.”

That is, they give in without a fight. And this is the goal of this type of manipulator.

How to make life easier A small change in this technique allows you to expand the scope of its application.

The following parable illustrates this.

A woman came to the sage, it’s bad, she says, we live - cramped, poor. He gave her advice: buy a goat.

She bought a goat and put it in a room where she lived with her husband and five children. It became completely unbearable.

She ran again to the sage: bad, he says, you gave me advice, we were tormented. Now sell the goat, the sly man advised. That's when the tired woman knew happiness and peace!

The need to believe The need for security is expressed in the need to believe in something. By believing, a person feels protected from adversity, adversity, and misfortune.

The human need for faith is the basis for the existence of all religions. Most believers living on Earth today consider themselves adherents of one of the world's religious faiths - Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism. Religion allows us to believe that the Kingdom of God is within us and that trust in our nature (what is) is nothing more than highest form religion. We trust the creation of Divine hands.

Totalitarian sects All kinds of religious sects pursue an aggressive policy of recruiting into the ranks of their adherents. These are deliberately manipulative religions, because they make a person believe in his own imperfection. They instill in him distrust of his own nature, after which the person begins to feel the need for external guidance of himself. The founders of sects, as a rule, pursue selfish goals of personal enrichment and power over people who have succumbed to their influence. In return, the latter gain a sense of security, confidence in their future and in the correctness of their chosen path.

Fear of death The greatest danger to a person is the threat of death. The following historical episode demonstrates how you can use for your own safety the desire of a tyrant to protect himself from the possibility of imminent death.

Louis XI's personal astrologer, to his misfortune, correctly predicted the death of one court lady. Her death, which soon followed the prophecy, greatly upset the king, and Louis decided that the astrologer himself was primarily to blame for this sad story. In anger, the king summoned him to himself, and ordered the guards to seize the astrologer by a secret sign and drown him. When the fortuneteller appeared, the king asked:

You know so well the fate of others, tell me, how much time do you have left to live?

“Sire,” answered the astrologer, “the stars revealed to me that I should die three days before the death of Your Majesty.

The king was at a loss.

With a resourceful answer, the court astrologer not only saved his life, but also forced the king to carefully guard it in the future.

1.4. THE NEED TO BELONG TO A COMMUNITY Fear of loneliness We are afraid of loneliness. A lonely person feels defenseless and unwanted.

Hence the need for family, friends, like-minded people. Hence the sympathy for orphans, for those “who have no one.”

We treat our fellow countrymen better, people of our own race and nationality, profession, and common religion. Afraid of falling out of the community, the groups to which we belong, we try to “keep a low profile.”

Manipulators cleverly take advantage of this.

English newspapers reported about a concert of silence that was once given by an unknown pianist. Noisy advertising did its job - on the day of the concert the hall was full. The virtuoso of silence sat down at the piano and began to play, but since all the strings were removed, not a single sound was heard. People in the hall began to look sideways at each other. Everyone waited to see what their neighbor would do, and as a result, the entire audience sat with bated breath. After two hours of deathly silence, the concert ended. The pianist stood up and bowed. He was greeted with thunderous applause. The next day, the virtuoso of silence told this story on television and concluded by admitting: “I wanted to see how far human stupidity extends: it is limitless.”

Conformism There is one inaccuracy in the words of this “pianist”. He was faced not with stupidity, but with conformity.

This is the name of the psychological phenomenon of dependence of a group member on the general opinion. Blaise Pascal noted: “Public opinion rules men.” You need to muster up a lot of courage to express your opinion to the first, as happened in the famous fairy tale by H. H. Andersen “The King’s New Clothes”: “And the king is naked!”

N.V. Kuchevskaya writes:

“It has long been established in human science that under pressure from a random group, for example in a queue, a third of its members change their opinion and do not try to defend it when it does not coincide with the assessments of the others, that is, they show conformism...

Whose suggestion do you think will be stronger: the group to which you belong, or a random group of strangers in line? I have no doubt that you consider the impact of your team to be stronger.

However, experimental studies reveal the opposite. The inspiring influence of randomly gathered people is manifested to a greater extent. A person's acceptance of the dominant opinion in an unfamiliar, random group is due to a lack of information about its participants. We are often ready to believe the first person we meet, while we treat the opinion of a well-known person with distrust, knowing his good and bad sides of character and attitude towards himself, which is not always unambiguous.

If a conformist accepts the point of view of the people around him quite consciously, so as not to be judged or rejected, then an easily suggestible person, as psychologists call it, suggestive (Latin suggestio - suggestion) often finds himself captive of the opinions of others, unaware of this dependence of his.”

Basics of conformity By defending our opinion, we take responsibility for its correctness. By succumbing to the general opinion, we absolve ourselves of responsibility.

Everyone can relate to stories from school childhood like this one.

The lesson was disrupted and the whole class ran away. The incident is being analyzed.

Head teacher: “Ivanov, why did you leave class?!”

Ivanov: “Everyone went, and I went.”

In our recent Soviet past, there was an aphorism: At our meeting, everyone individually is “against”, but all together are “for”. Here, conformity was also fueled by a sense of fear of the authorities, who did not stand on ceremony with dissidents.

The crowd phenomenon It is known that in a crowd a person behaves differently than when he is alone. Even the most notorious individualist can be hypnotized by the crowd. Exactly when a collection of people becomes a mass varies from case to case. Borders are fluid. But the more listeners, the sooner they become a mass.

There are principles that determine the behavior of people in the mass.

l The masses react more easily to emotions.

l The masses have weakened mental abilities.

l The mass does not have an antenna for fine logical work. She wants to hear clear opinions and strong judgments.

l The majority of people are gullible and prone to depersonalization. His ability to criticize decreases.

l In the masses, a person's ability to discriminate is limited. He tends to use black and white colors. The instinctive and irrational come first.

All this gave rise to the following aphorism: the crowd has many heads, but few brains.

Therefore, speech addressed to the masses has at all times been a favorite technique for demagogues of all kinds. They used mass forms of suggestion and, manipulating the uncontrollable feelings of the crowd, implanted their will into the subconscious of people - often with disastrous consequences.

For how this was used, for example, by the ideologists of fascism, see Chapter. 16.

Through the mouth of a child...

We have already said that many of us relate better to representatives of our own kind, nationality, and race. It turns out that the need to belong to such communities is embedded in us quite deeply.

If adults most often do not see external differences between close nations, then children guess them accurately. An experiment that took place several years ago involved English children aged 10 (at this age the child has not yet lost his figurative perception of reality).

The thick stack of photographs laid out in front of them had to be sorted according to the “like it or not like it” principle. The children did not know that photographs of Germans and Englishmen were mixed in the packet, but almost unmistakably they collected their compatriots into the “likes” pile and put the strangers aside.

And this is despite the fact that there are fewer anthropological differences between peoples living in neighboring lands than, for example, between Russians living in Kaliningrad and the Far East.

The sensitivity of children is amazing not only in comparison with adults, but also in itself. After all, the external difference between European peoples should initially be insignificant, since geneticists have proven that in general all of humanity descended from one woman.

"Me and the Greats"

People are flattered when they have something in common with the greats or just with famous people. For decades they keep photographs in which they were “shown” next to some celebrity. And they are ready to brag about it on occasion. Responding to this need, Komsomolskaya Pravda introduced the column “Me and the Greats,” where relevant photographs and stories from readers about their origins are published.

Outstanding artists take advantage of this need of people to increase their own popularity. The reader will find examples of this in the last chapter of the book.

1.5. THE NEED FOR RESPECT, RECOGNITION In the most simple way, flatterers use this need. “Grandfather” Krylov very accurately described the power of this technique:

How many times have they told the world that flattery is vile and harmful, but it’s not for the future.

And a flatterer will always find a corner in the heart.

In most cases, the object of flattery understands that he is being flattered, but the very fact of praise is pleasant to him, since it indicates dependence on him, a high social position, and a desire to gain his favor. Satisfying the need for respect and recognition works wonders.

One young man, unsure of his ability to write, for fear of being ridiculed, sent his first manuscript by mail late at night, sneaking out of the house to do so. All his stories were invariably rejected by the editors. Finally, the great day came - one of them was accepted.

True, he was not paid a shilling, but one editor praised his work. The young man was so excited that he wandered aimlessly through the streets, tears rolling down his cheeks.

The praise and recognition that resulted from one of his stories being published changed his entire fate, for had it not been for this, he might have spent his whole life working in rat-infested factories. But the main thing is that the world would not have received a wonderful writer whose name is Charles Dickens.

The famous book by Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) contains many stories of this kind, when showing respect for a person and believing in him (especially during a difficult period of life) helped many to begin the path that made them famous. But the author would like to give an example that is closer in time, but, most importantly, directly related to this book.

At the end of 1995, a little-known author gave away the manuscript of his book “How to Manage Others. How to manage yourself" to the Minsk publishing house "Amalfeya". After the allotted time, I called the president of this company, Larisa Ivanovna Lipen. Here are her words: “I read your manuscript until 4 o’clock in the morning, I couldn’t put it down. I never thought that there was an author in Belarus who could write so captivatingly about serious things. We take the book. Write new ones." Encouraged by this assessment, the author wrote 9 more books over the next few years. All of them were published in various publishing houses in Moscow, St. Petersburg, and Minsk. And the one that L.I. Lipen praised was recognized as the best business book at the Moscow Spring-96 International Book Fair and was translated into English.

The book you are holding in your hands is the tenth in a row. And this story is about me. But I gave all the details not to boast, but to be documented accurately. And to be able to thank Larisa Ivanovna, who is immensely respected by me, for her support at the right time.

Were her words deliberate manipulation? Now, having gotten to know her better, I can safely say that she simply acted as she was used to: she said what she thought and felt. But thanks to a happy coincidence of circumstances, her apparently exaggerated assessment of the author brought benefits to many: the author - to find himself, his, perhaps, main calling in life;

1.6. NEED FOR SELF-realization Attributes of success In accordance with A. Maslow’s classification, this need is the most high level. Her satisfaction is also used to covertly control a person.

Self-realization manifests itself in achievements. These achievements are reflected in all kinds of documents: award certificates, certificates of professors and associate professors, diplomas of a doctor, candidate of sciences, a graduate of a university or technical school, a certificate of completion high school, certificates of commendation, etc.

The degree of importance of these attributes of success varies, just as the successes themselves vary in degree of weight. But we keep everything that testifies to some of our (albeit very long-standing and God knows what) achievements: certificates yellowed by time, badges about sports categories, pennants of competition winners, trophies of sports prowess.

Accordingly, we love to receive all kinds of confirmation of our successes. Experienced managers use this fact to manage people.

Military insignia Let's start with the great commanders. Napoleon Bonaparte was the greatest master in distributing award ribbons and other external attributes of military valor to the soldiers of his army. The army led by him won victories in 400 large and small battles, thanks to the genius of the leader and the courage of his soldiers (you can read more about all this in our book).

About how the brilliant commander A.V. achieved such results. Suvorov, a little lower.

Personnel management Let's turn to modern management. At McDonald's, Tupperware, IBM, and many other companies leading the way in efficient business, there is a stunning variety of situations that are considered appropriate for giving out badges, brooches, tokens, and medals to employees.

Managers look for and endlessly use excuses to give out awards.

To improve the attitude of workers towards work, the “naming effect” is also used:

The company's electrician demanded an increase in his wages. Not wanting to incur additional costs, the administration offered him the position of “energy supply director” with continued salary. This proposal satisfied the employee. Now every day he could admire the sign with the name of his new position on the door of his work room.

Where our leaders were not squeezed into the Procrustean bed of staffing, they demonstrated no less success.

At the peak of the Baikonur cosmodrome’s heyday, so much cargo began to arrive at it that a barrier had to be installed on the highway leading from the nearest station. They wrote an advertisement: “A moving attendant is urgently required. The salary is such and such.” They posted an advertisement in the station village, but since the payment was small and the work itself did not convey any significance, local residents ignored it. For a whole month no one came to the HR department. Then a new advertisement appeared in the village: “Barrier Supervisor Wanted.” The next morning there was pandemonium in the HR department...

In this way, subordinates were given the opportunity to realize themselves in the direction desired by management. The techniques used by Generalissimo Suvorov also serve this purpose. Here's one of them.

Recruit Shapkin got scared during the battle and hid in the bushes. Suvorov saw this, but did not punish him approximately [as was customary], but acted differently. Rewarding those who distinguished themselves in battle, he presented the medal to the completely confused Shapkin. Unable to withstand the questioning of his comrades as to what the award was for, he came to Suvorov and returned the medal. Suvorov accepted the medal, saying that he was taking it only for temporary storage.

In the next battle, Shapkin showed miracles of heroism. This is how Suvorov raised his (as he himself called them) “miracle heroes.”

We will call this technique “medal for growth.” Treat a person like a hero and he will try to become one. Essentially the same technique was used by the warden of a high-risk prison in New York State. He managed to work there for many years, without allowing the excesses for which this prison was notorious before him. Here is his principle: “I treat them as decent people. They behave decently."

By belittling a person, you can make him worse than he is. They say: “Call a man a pig, he will grunt.” The effect of success is inspiring, a person is proud of himself and is ready for great achievements. On the contrary, belittling success has a depressing effect and can break many, especially children and adolescents who are not strong in soul. To illustrate, let us cite Viktor Dragunsky’s short story “Third Place in Butterfly Style” from the series “Deniska’s Stories.”

When I walked home from the pool, I was in a very good mood. I liked all the trolleybuses, that they were so transparent and you could see who was riding in them, that it was not hot outside and the breeze cooled my wet head. But I especially liked that I took third place in butterfly and that I will now tell my dad about this.

I was in a hurry to get home, and when I entered the room, my mother immediately asked:

Why are you shining so much?

I said:

We had a competition today.

Dad said:

What is this?

Swim twenty meters in butterfly style.

Dad said:

So how is it?

Third place! - I said.

Dad just blossomed.

Well, yes? That's great! - He put the newspaper aside. - Well done!

I knew he would be happy.

And who took first? - Dad asked.

I answered:

Vovka took first place; he has been able to swim for a long time. It wasn’t difficult for him - Hey Vovka! - said dad. - So, who took second place?

And the second place, I said, was taken by a red-haired boy, I don’t know his name.

So, did you come out third? - Dad smiled, and I was very pleased. - Well, who was left on the fourth?

I said:

No one took fourth place.

He was very surprised:

How is this possible?

I said:

We all took third place: me, Mishka, Tolka, and Kimka, all of them. We, eighteen people, took third. That's what the instructor said!

Dad said:

Ah, that's it. All clear!

And he buried his face in the newspaper again.

And for some reason I completely lost my good mood.

The great German poet Goethe accurately formulated the phenomenon in question: “If we accept people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat them as if they are what they should be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

In a study of school teachers, it was found that when they expect a lot from their students, this alone is enough to cause an increase in IQ by 25 points.

In “The Brothers Karamazov” by F. M. Dostoevsky, Karamazov the father says: “After all, if only I were sure when I walked in that they would immediately take me for the nicest and smartest person, - Lord! What a kind person I would be then!”

"Freaks"

Self-realization is one of the most individualized needs. What is natural for one may be completely incomprehensible to another (and even many others).

In a large apartment building there lived a man who spent all his time in the yard, organizing leisure activities for other people’s children. He lived on the meager pension of a disabled person and had nothing from his noble labors. The author learned about this ascetic from one of his colleagues, who laughingly talked about the “eccentric” who tinkered with a bunch of street kids for free. Such self-realization of a person was incomprehensible to him.

Or eccentric inventors, not understood by the passive majority: and why they don’t live in peace, they meddle with their ideas, disrupt the established order of things. And what do they have besides hassle?

If you look at the Decembrists (Russian noble officers who came out on a frosty December day in 1825 to Senate Square in St. Petersburg to defend Russia’s right to progressive development and the people’s right to happiness) through the eyes of a tradesman, a layman, then it would be surprising not to ask such a question: what is not did they have enough in life? After all, M. Orlov became a general at the age of 26, and M. was also a general.

Fonvizin. P. Pestel is the son of the Governor-General of Siberia, A. Entaltsev is a lieutenant colonel, S. Volkonsky, S. Trubetskoy and A. Odoevsky are princes. In I. Annenkov’s house there were 150 footmen and 14 cooks. Their self-realization consisted in the fact that they were not afraid to act in accordance with their convictions, and thus preferred deprivation, shackles, and the mockery of a shameful death to brilliant officer careers and the luxury of life.

1.7. NEED FOR POSITIVE EMOTIONS One of the most important needs Man is an emotional being. Negative emotions depress him, under their influence all organs work worse, and the quality of the blood also deteriorates. On the contrary, positive emotions charge the body with energy and improve well-being.

It has been established that the optimal ratio of positive to negative emotions for mental health is 7:1.

Almost all adults feel a significant lack of positive emotions (we have plenty of negativity!). The following figures give an idea of ​​the extent of this deficiency: a child laughs on average 400 times every day, an adult - 15.

Children are the flowers of life Children are closer to nature, not yet distorted by many “don’ts”, they behave most naturally, which is very good for health: they laugh endlessly, if it hurts, they cry (which is the best way to relieve grief), during attacks of anger - are fighting. Having broken out for recess, they run and jump, compensating for sitting motionless in class, accelerating the blood, improving metabolic processes.

An adult is deprived of this naturalness. Most of all, he is deprived of positive emotions. He's missing kind words addressed to you, not to mention affection. The child is not shy about asking for affection.

A woman who recently became a grandmother says: “My grandson is in his crib, falling asleep. I stroke him, saying: “Sasha is good, Sasha is handsome, mom loves Sasha, dad loves him, grandma... - Mom is thinking about something, I look. And he: “Grandma, speak, speak!”

Dispute between the Sun and the Wind A person’s need for positive emotions can be used to covertly control him.

Let's listen to the ancient fabulist Aesop:

The Sun and the Wind argued who was stronger, and the Wind said: I will prove that I am stronger. Do you see the old man in the raincoat? I bet I can get him to take off his coat sooner than you can.”

The sun hid behind a cloud, and the wind began to blow stronger and stronger until it almost turned into a hurricane. But the harder he blew, the tighter the old man wrapped himself in his cloak. Finally, the Wind died down and stopped;

and then the Sun peeked out from behind the clouds and smiled tenderly at the traveler. The traveler cheered up and took off his cloak. And the Sun told the Wind that kindness and friendliness are always stronger than rage and strength.

About honey and poison Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), the 16th President of the United States, who initiated the law to abolish slavery, formulated this idea very briefly: “You will catch more flies with a drop of honey than with a gallon of poison.”

“The King of Football” about our football players The role of positive emotions in competitive sports is interesting. They increase the athlete’s self-esteem and confidence in his abilities.

Once, after watching the training of Soviet football players, leather ball star Pele said that he knew why they were not performing so successfully on the international stage. Their training is devoted to eliminating shortcomings, but it is necessary to develop advantages. According to this football player, he and his comrades have a lot of shortcomings, but few people notice them, because what they do best, they can do perfectly, and those shortcomings that remain are only a continuation of their advantages.

The secret to the success of soap operas

Many people are surprised that primitive Mexican television series are extremely popular, especially among women. It turns out that the success of the series is ensured by the fact that they are made according to certain rules developed by psychologists. Anyone who writes scripts and films them is obliged, like military regulations, to remember special ethical rules and unquestioningly follow them. Here are just a few points:

l Do not use obscene expressions, avoid foreign words.

l Do not touch on the topics of banditry, terrorism, or illegal imprisonment.

l Disagreements and conflicts within the family should be resolved in a spirit of family strengthening.

l It is necessary to emphasize respect for the work of servants, drivers, small traders and other socially vulnerable segments of the population.

l Avoid showing bad doctors, scribbled walls, etc., or immediately condemn it.

l Nothing negative about the president of the country and the persons and institutions subordinate to him.

l Nothing about sexual deviations that exist in society.

This is the code of the soap opera builder.

Viewers of TV series usually say that they “relax their souls” while watching them. And this happens because the observed scenes evoke only positive emotions. Thus, soap operas make up for the lack of positive emotions. And this serves as a means of hidden control of spectators who give up everything for the sake of this unassuming spectacle.

Why are more women subject to this control? Firstly, they are more emotional and experience emotional hunger stronger than men. Secondly, in soap operas the plots revolve around interpersonal relationships, romance novels, and this is always a subject of female interest. The third reason is a consequence of the first two and the primitiveness of the plot. The first two circumstances affect men to a much lesser extent. For them, the rational principle prevails over the emotional. The wretchedness of the plot then immediately catches the eye. The fourth reason: in any dialogue, men are mainly interested in its result, women are also interested in the communication process itself. And the “result” in the series is endlessly postponed. In the foreground all the time there is only the “process”. While women are happy to delve into relationships, men prefer to do something else.

Compliments Their power is enormous, because a good compliment improves the mood of the “object”. And the one who gives compliments becomes a desirable, pleasant interlocutor, since he satisfies the “object’s” need for positive emotions.

Women, as more emotional creatures, do not hide their need for compliments.

Moreover, courtship is impossible without compliments.

However, experience, confirmed by the opinion of psychologists, shows that men are even more “pecked”

for compliments. Due to their inexperience, they are much less demanding about the quality of a compliment, and can succumb to banal flattery. The reader will learn about how to learn to give irresistible compliments and the rules of effective compliments further in Chapter. 7.2.

Protection from unpleasant thoughts Awareness of our shortcomings gives us negative emotions. A strong person rushes to eliminate them. But strong people are a clear minority. Most people tend to hide from problems.

And to prevent them from bothering you, many sayings and excuses have been invented.

For example, people with overweight, having heard about the threat this poses to health, instead of fighting excess weight (which is not easy), they came up with a number of excuses, such as: “There should be a lot of good people” (praise to oneself) or “While the fat one dries, the thin one will die” (sarcasm in address of their antipodes - slender people).

The following sayings and excuses speak for themselves:

l Our shortcomings are a continuation of our strengths.

l We make mistakes so as not to make mistakes.

l The more good a person has, the less he notices the bad in people.

l “Honor those who try to do great things, even if they fail” (Seneca).

l “A great enterprise rarely succeeds the first time” (Napoleon Bonaparte).

They are remembered when they want to calm themselves or another person, replacing unpleasant thoughts about failure with an interpretation of them that evokes positive emotions.

By calming ourselves down, we follow the path of self-deception: lies for salvation, in this case- nervous system.

We reassure others either out of a feeling of favor towards them, or in order to induce their favor towards ourselves. In both cases - hidden control of the interlocutor. The degree of morality of this management is determined, as before, by the degree of plausibility of the goal set.

The power of negative emotions Popular pop artist Yan Arlazorov recalls: “I remember I pushed one boy. It was in 3rd or 4th grade. He couldn’t “answer” me himself. Or didn't want to. In general, I called my brother, a high school student. That one was big. And it seemed to me that he would kill me. But he didn't hit me. He just tore off my hat and trampled on it furiously, cruelly and mockingly... It would have been better if he had killed me then;

and the feeling of spitting in the soul remains forever.”

USING HUMAN WEAKNESSES You can only see your shortcomings through someone else's eyes.

Chinese proverb Seeing yourself in others not only makes you love yourself, but also makes you hate yourself.

G. Lichtenberg 2.1. WEAKNESSES INHERENT IN EVERYONE Our weaknesses There are no weaknesses of ours that would not be used to covertly control people. Here we will list only those that occur most frequently. We will illustrate their use for hidden control with relevant real-life examples.

Here is a list of weaknesses discussed in this chapter: curiosity, self-doubt, stupidity, slowness, compassion, gambling, love of gifts and flattery, humiliation, superstitiousness, suggestibility, susceptibility to the influence of attitudes, boastfulness, ignorance, poor speech, weak character, greed and vanity, lack of a “moral core, envy.

Curiosity We are all curious, some less, others more. Women's curiosity is known, especially regarding who has what kind of relationship with whom... Not taking into account such a human quality as curiosity can lead to funny things.

To attract more customers, the owner of a night restaurant in Colombia, administrative center State of South Carolina, invited a women's dance group to perform on stage in their mother's clothes. There was no end to clients. But there were two diligent police officers who sued the owner of the hot spot and the performers.

To show the jury how immoral the whole performance looked, the policemen repeated the performance right in the hall: they made faces, twirled their hips, imitated love scenes, while sighing passionately and making other seductive sounds. However, the judges, having watched the entire “program” to the end, applauded the police, noting that all this was very interesting and that very evening they would go to see the real performance. The accusation was considered unproven.

Having aroused curiosity, highly moral guardians of order fell victim to it.

Curiosity in manipulation is used to attract and maintain attention. All manuals on public speaking recommend starting a speech with some story that arouses curiosity. And during the speech, insert promises to tell you a little later about something that arouses interest. (You can read more about this in our book.) The next episode in TV series is interrupted, as a rule, at the most interesting place. Curiosity (what's next?) ensures that viewers turn out to watch the next episode.

The beautiful Shahrazad told tales to the formidable ruler Shahryar for three years. With the help of hidden control, arousing the curiosity of the tyrant, she saved herself and a thousand of the most beautiful girls of her country from death.

Imperfection of mental mechanisms We cannot do two things at the same time with instant efficiency. Having switched attention from one object to another, we lose control over the first object for some time.

This circumstance makes us similar to representatives of the animal world.

I. A. Krylov in the famous fable “The Crow and the Fox” demonstrated how manipulation can be done by switching the attention of an object to make it a victim of manipulation.

Demonstrating her vocal abilities, the Crow completely lost sight of (and therefore, out of her beak) the coveted cheese.

This technique is used by scammers to charm the victim. Some subordinates do the same, slipping a paper to their boss for signature and distracting him with conversations in order to prevent him from reading the document.

Suggestibility Almost everyone is susceptible to suggestion to one degree or another. But, of course, to varying degrees.

People who lack self-confidence, as well as children and the elderly, are more suggestible. Women, on average, are more suggestible than men. Education reduces suggestibility: an educated person trusts reason more, and therefore, facts and arguments.

The well-known “placebo effect” is based on suggestibility: instead of the promised medicine, the patient is given a neutral remedy (for example, plain water or a dummy tablet), claiming that it will definitely help. And it really helps a lot!

But often suggestion can cause great harm. We illustrate this, as well as the power of suggestion, with two stories.

The woman turned to a relatively young, but already famous professor. He diagnosed her with a decompensated heart defect. Among persons with this defect there are even famous athletes. To encourage the patient, the professor jokingly said: “You don’t have to worry about your heart at all - you won’t die before me, and if we die, we’ll die together.” It so happened that the next day the professor died suddenly. Upon learning of this, the woman fell into a state of extreme excitement.

She told the local doctor called to the house: “I know that I have to die.” Within a few hours, her heart rate began to decline sharply, and she soon died.

Here's another case. It took place in Paris and became famous thanks to a high-profile court case.

The lyceum warden aroused the hatred of the students with his nagging, and they decided to take revenge on him.

Having grabbed the warden, they brought him to a semi-basement room and, wearing masks, held a trial over him.

The “prosecutor” spoke up and, on behalf of all the students, accused him of “atrocities,” listing all his “crimes.” The "court" sentenced him to beheading. They brought a block and an ax and announced to the condemned man that he had only three minutes left to prepare for death. After this period, he was brought to his knees and his head was placed on the block. One participant in this cruel fun raised an ax, and the second hit him on the neck with a towel. After this, the students laughed and asked him to get up. However, he remained motionless. With horror, the pranksters discovered that the warden was dead.

The success of the inspirer is facilitated by the confidence he radiates. According to reviews from participants in the battles for the world chess championship, during the years of Robert Fischer’s meteoric rise, he exuded such confidence that his opponents felt it was impossible to defeat him.

The influence of suggestion on a person's expectations has been confirmed by scientific experience. Let us cite, for example, the results of an experiment conducted by E.V. Moseyko (Zamrobovsky) under the guidance of prof.

G.M.Andreeva and J. Janoshek.

Observers were introduced one by one into a circle formed by ten seated people (subjects), who received instructions to remember as many of those present as possible. Each observer was given the opportunity to look at each subject for 2-3 seconds, after which the first one retired to the next room and reported on his impressions. The initial phase of the experiment consisted of such exposures by ten observers and their subsequent reports. Then a break was announced, during which for each subject, by interviewing 10 observers, it was determined how many of them remembered it. Then disinformation was produced. If the number of those remembered was below 5, then the subject was informed that 9 observers remembered him; if this level exceeded 5, 1 observer. After a break that lasted 20-30 minutes, the second phase was carried out, exactly duplicating the first. The extent to which such misinformation led to the formation of new expectations among the subjects regarding their “memorability” was clarified by means of a question asked after the experiment. It was found that the expected memorability of the subjects who received “lowering” misinformation during the break decreased significantly, and for the subjects who received “increasing” misinformation in the second phase, it increased significantly;

The “memorability” of the subjects in the control group did not undergo significant changes.

Such studies support the view that suggestibility is indeed an inherent property of us.

Suggestibility increases during stressful conditions. The entire spring period is stressful for our body, so in the spring people are more suggestible. Manipulators of all stripes use this. With the spring sunshine, gypsies pour out into the street with offers to tell fortunes.

Remembering the suggestibility of spring, do not immediately fall for advertising calls like: “It’s time for an update - update something at home too!” or “Nature is blooming - bloom too!” For many traders, the myth of spring as “the time of awakening” is simply beneficial.

Suggestibility is also a source of income for all kinds of magicians, sorcerers, and fortune-tellers. They try to hook each client so that he comes to them again and again: “We definitely need to see what we have done with you... We need to discharge your clock, otherwise your aura will begin to collapse.” A person is intimidated, forced to believe that without a magician he is now neither here nor there. And for each visit you have to pay. It can go on forever, like a soap opera.

Demand creates supply. On the beaches, where there is a lot of free time and a desire to flirt, a new type of fortune telling was born.

At foreign resorts, fortune telling using the naked body is popular. "Prophecies"

will be happy to help lonely vacationers quickly figure out who is better (and more effective!) to put their eye on, thirsting for love and pleasure. These ladies, as a rule, are quite good psychologists and, not without reason, claim that the shape of the body, not burdened with excess clothing, very eloquently testifies to the character of the object itself.

By the bust, for example, they undertake to judge romantic possibilities and abilities for adventure, and the hips will accurately indicate the degree of sexuality, which even the owner (owner) of them may not be aware of.

Fortune tellers do not recommend flirting between thin partners - the risk of conflict is too great. But harmony most often, according to their observations, arises between athletic men and pretty fat women... It is important to note that fortune tellers do not bear any responsibility for their predictions.

And in conclusion - a healthy look at these magicians.

Two friends are talking:

Listen,” one asks, “do you believe fortune tellers?”

I believed until I went to consult with a clairvoyant and knocked on her door. And do you know what she said?

She asked, "Who's there?"

Susceptibility to the influence of attitudes For each of us, any observed phenomenon is seen as we perceived it.

For example, if a person thought that they were shouting at him (this happens, in particular, during quarrels), then no matter how wrong he was and no matter how those around him convinced that no one was shouting at him, he will remain in his opinion: he “heard it’s with your own ears.”

But our perception is greatly influenced by attitudes: we heard what we expected to hear. To illustrate, we present the following case.

At the same time, two performances were to take place: in one place - a lecture by a famous academician, in the other - a meeting with a famous clown.

But the organizers of the performances got everything mixed up. The academician was brought to circus lovers - where they were waiting for the clown. And the clown - for those who were preparing to hear a scientific lecture.

What happened next? No matter how hard the clown tried to make the audience laugh, no one smiled, and some even took notes. But at the academician’s lecture, the audience roared with laughter, and the poor scientist could not understand what was funny in his research.

The influence of attitude on perception and understanding is reflected in the following humoresque:

Are you going to the next one?

No, I already went home.

You probably have nothing in your head?

Wash more often and you will have nothing!

You called my friend a stinkbug. He challenged you to a duel. What weapon do you choose?

Dichlorvos.

Attitude affects not only perception, but also all human behavior. Let us reproduce a short excerpt from the short story “Bonaparte’s Double” (A. Sandler. From the Notes of a Repressed Person).

Small, round, with a chiseled Roman nose and huge black eyes, the head of the camp seemed like a double of Bonaparte. The Napoleonic boss was distinguished by his amazing, anecdotal stupidity. He especially enjoyed the “question and answer” evenings. Once one of the prisoners, the former academician Chekan, told the boss about his resemblance to Bonaparte. A week later, during the morning roll call, I noticed that a book was sticking out from behind the side of the chief’s overcoat. Getting closer, I read: “Tarle. Napoleon."

A person’s susceptibility to attitudes can be used both to his advantage and to his detriment. Let's start with the bad.

A famous French joke says: for a woman there are two opinions: 1) her own;

2) incorrect. The author remembered this joke every time he visited one of his relatives. For I always heard the same thing - the wife, turning to the “learned guest” (as he seemed to her): “Tell him,” she pointed to her husband, “that he is always wrong!” Wanting authoritative confirmation of her own attitude, the hostess did not notice the blatant absurdity of her statement. Needless to say, how difficult her psychological pressure was for her husband. Self-righteousness is the source of many conflicts in families, at work, and in the service sector.

The attitude of some managers that their subordinates are lazy and do not want to work really discourages the latter from working.

If it seemed to you that the battle was lost, then, in general, that’s how it is.

If anyone is not confident in himself, he cannot outnumber Sinyakov.

We will be happy to provide examples of the positive impact of installations.

The great teacher A. S. Makarenko, working with difficult human material - street children, thieves and robbers, achieved outstanding success. The core of it educational work was the following installation: “When communicating with people, set yourself the task of constantly directly or indirectly convincing them of great personal opportunities, the presence of creativity, potential for solving big problems, strive to create a need for action.”

V. Frankl says: “We doctors are faced with a “self-fulfilling prophecy”

daily and hourly (during office hours). For example, we measure a patient's blood pressure and find that it is 160. If we say "160" to the patient's question about his blood pressure, then this will no longer be true, since the patient's blood pressure will instantly rise to 180 in response to this message.

If, on the contrary, we tell him that the pressure is almost normal, then we are not lying. With a sigh of relief, he admits that he had a fear of paralysis, but, apparently, this fear of paralysis turned out to be completely unfounded. If we now measure his blood pressure again, we will be convinced that it has indeed dropped to normal levels in the meantime.”

This shows how beneficial it is to act in accordance with the Hippocratic principle of “do no harm.”

It gives the patient the attitude to overcome the disease. On the contrary, medical charlatans, magicians, and sorcerers are interested in supporting the client’s attitude that it is impossible to solve his problems without the help of a “healer.”

Imperfect speech We often find ourselves in difficult situations due to insufficiently precise statements.

The farmer tells his neighbor:

I have a miracle of nature on my farm - a two-legged ram!

A! - answers the second farmer. - Is this the one who takes care of my daughter?

There is an old parable "Why do crocodiles cry?" A crocodile stole a woman's child. In response to the pleas of the unfortunate mother, he promised to let her child go if she “told the truth.” To which the woman objected: “But you won’t give it away!” And then the crocodile began to think. If he gives up the child, it turns out that the phrase he heard is false, and a lie - according to the condition - does not entail the handing over of the child. But if he does not want to give up the baby, then - by virtue of the logic of the agreement and the words of the mother - he, the crocodile, will have to return the baby. Difficult situation. Tears flowed from the alligator's eyes.

They say that since then all crocodiles cry, remembering that long-ago absurdity.

Although inaccuracies in speech are more common among uneducated people, even the most enlightened can ask stupid questions.

Harvard University President Eliot once told Hans Selye (the one who introduced the concept of stress) this story. Entering the crowded restaurant, he gave his hat to the cloakroom attendant.

When leaving, Eliot was surprised to see that he had accurately chosen his hat from hundreds of others.

Amazed, he asked, “How did you know it was my hat?” - “I didn’t know that she was yours!” - was the answer. “Why did you give it to me then?” - Eliot asked. To which the cloakroom attendant very politely replied: “Because you gave it to me when you came in.”

The jokers couldn't miss the chance to laugh at the imperfection of our speech. Here are some appeals from folk humor on the topic of the polysemy of words used.

*** A woman invited a man to visit her. She set the table, gave him some cognac and finally said in his ear:

That's it, now you're mine.

Yeah, I ran away! Myself!!!

*** Students are sitting, waiting for their friend, saying:

I wish I could pass with an A, I wish I could pass with an A!.. An hour later, my friend finally comes running, joyful.

Well, did you pass? How many?

Passed, 4.80 - one bat turned out to be.

*** - Lieutenant Petrov!

I am, Comrade Colonel!

Do you want to become a senior lieutenant?

Yes sir!

Then here’s an accompanying note for you, go and get Senior Lieutenant Sidorenko from the sobering-up station!

*** A man calls the fire department:

Guard! My house is on fire! Come quickly!

Dispatcher:

How can I get to you?

Are you completely stunned?! In a big red car!

Love for freebies

There is a simple tradition at the Barnett advertising agency that nevertheless ensures the company's success. All employees are simply given an apple every day. Such a primitive method at first glance, oddly enough, has led to the fact that the company essentially does not know what staff turnover is.

Oral folk art responded to the love of gifts, in particular, with the following story.

*** Our man is flying on a plane of a foreign company. He flatly refuses the drink offered by the flight attendant (and included in the ticket price). He doesn’t explain the reason, since he doesn’t know a single foreign language.

A concerned flight attendant turns to the chief steward - the client seems to be dissatisfied with something.

Having assessed the situation professionally, he approaches the passenger with a tray:

Freebie, sir!

Why didn’t she say it right away? Bring everything, including the supplement!

*** Presentation of the new bank is underway. They invited English partners, who were very surprised that many of those present drank bottles of champagne, snacked on herring, then drank cognac and whiskey, vodka and beer. Someone had clearly already eaten and drank too much, someone started dancing, someone was secluded with the girls.

A “new Russian” approached the Englishman, looking at all this with horror, and asked:

Why don't you eat anything?

I don't want to.

Listen, this is a freebie! For free! Eat!

I only eat when I'm hungry.

Well, you're just like an animal!

2.2. WEAKNESSES IN SOME Boasting The desire to look better than he really is makes a braggart an easy prey for manipulators. The technique of manipulation is clearly communicated in the song of scoundrels-manipulators - the cat Basilio and the fox Alice - in the dramatization of the fairy tale “The Golden Key” (the author of the song is Sergei Nikitin):

We must glorify our destiny, While braggarts live in the world.

A braggart doesn't need a knife, You sing along to him a little - And do with him what you want.

Lack of self-confidence Those who lack self-confidence experience a certain inferiority. The latter may be imaginary, but its bearer does not know about it and seriously considers himself inferior in some sense: education, position in society, professional or personal qualities.

Knowing, for example, that the interlocutor is insufficiently educated, the manipulator says: “Everyone knows...” or “Every specialist knows...”. Or he can argue his point by referring to a non-existent statement by one of the great...

It is difficult for an insecure person to say no. It’s easier to convince someone like this by showing that nothing bad will happen if he agrees.

Stupidity An advertisement appeared in the Kharkov newspapers that a certain company, with the help of psychics, could convey a message to the next world to the dead. The price for this “service” was said to be very low. Thousands of elderly people, mostly widows, took the bait on this offer, reasoning: the payment is small, but what if they actually hand it over?

As a result, the company reaped a good harvest in banknotes. What helped them? Human stupidity.

If among people the stupidity of some helps others to deceive them, then among animals the situation is even more cruel.

The relationship between dogs and wolves is known to be hostile. When visiting a village, wolves prefer to slaughter not a sheep, but a dog, and for this they have well-established techniques. One of the wolves, pretending to be a coward, runs towards the forest. The stupid dog, feeling like a hero, rushes after him. But another wolf is lying in ambush. About two hundred meters from the house the dog comes to an end. A forester in the Smolensk region said that over the course of three years, wolves dragged more than a dozen dogs away from him using this technique.

Slowness A person who makes decisions slowly becomes a convenient object for manipulation.

It is enough to create conditions when you need to respond quickly. He doesn’t have time to figure it out and is forced to agree with the proposed solution. Which he later regrets.

Orally folk art this was clearly reflected in a series of jokes about “hot Estonian guys.” The slowness of the representatives of this people is played out in the manner of English equanimity.

*** - What kind of crowd is that there?

And these are the Estonians fleeing!

*** Two Estonians are driving through the forest in a cart. One suddenly speaks.

Ooh! Look, on the side of the road - I think it's Uno's hand!

Ooh! I think it's Uno's leg!

Another minute passes, the first one again with surprise:

Ooh! I think this is Uno's head!

Ooh! I hope he's okay?

Compassion It is known that many of those begging for alms are not beggars at all. This is a type of business that exploits the pity of passersby. And this pity is sometimes caused by artificial “gadgets” and “outfits”.

This phenomenon also did not escape the attention of folk humor.

The “New Russian” threw ten dollars into a beggar’s hat. He didn't even turn his head.

"New Russian":

Man, you're so impudent! For ten bucks I could at least say thank you!

Do you really want a miracle for your crumpled ten? I'm deaf and dumb!..

Inability to stand up for oneself American Don Mudoc decided to get rich in an unusual way. He noticed that people who often have to humiliate themselves in order to get a job, keep a job, or take up more high place in society, there is a desire to show that they, too, can humiliate someone. Guided by this consideration, Mr. Mudoc opened a small company that, for the sum of 35 dollars, undertakes to perform a “small” service: throw a cake in the face of a person pointed out by the client. In just two months of existence, the company of professional jokers completed over sixty orders.

As we can see, the resourceful entrepreneur turned the clients’ problems to his advantage, forcing them to part with a certain amount.

Superstition In 1988, NBC reported that a senior US presidential official confirmed that Reagan followed the advice of an astrologer when making decisions, such as his travel dates and meeting schedules.

In his novel The Lautensack Brothers, Feuchtwanger describes how a fashionable fortune teller, at the instigation of political puppeteers, suggested to Hitler the idea of ​​setting fire to the Reichstag.

Thus, even major politicians can be controlled with the help of superstitions. What can we say about ordinary people...

A certain lady, knowing about her husband’s superstition, decided to discourage him from his new passion. Having found out by chance about the time and place of the meeting, she arranged for a black cat to cross the path of the traitor. There were no workarounds, the date did not take place. Offended by this, the seductress refused further meetings.

Love of offerings A vain person becomes an easy prey for manipulators. By exalting his virtues, they gain favor and trust, and then control him. Let us recall, as an example, just one tragicomedy that unfolded in the 70s before the eyes of the entire country.

In the era of “late Brezhnev,” praises to his address flowed like a deep river, awards and loyal tokens of attention rained down on him as if from a cornucopia. Many then asked the question: “Aren’t they ashamed?”

Folk art responded to this farce with anecdotes. Here is one of them, ridiculing the Secretary General’s claims to the laurels of a great commander.

Marshal Zhukov is approached with a certain question. He thinks and answers: “I would like to consult with Colonel Brezhnev. Find him. He’s somewhere near Novorossiysk.”

The Kremlin and other courtiers knew what they were doing. In payment for their shameless lies, they received the favor of the all-powerful ruler and the adoption of the decisions they needed.

Gambling On using this human weakness feeds an entire branch of entrepreneurship - the gaming business.

Gamblers who get excited bring the casino the biggest income. Therefore, the owners of these establishments create all the conditions to keep the client in a state of excitement for as long as possible and, even more so, not to distract them with anything. Here are some techniques for this.

According to the law, in Russian casinos the game must be played in rubles. Visitors usually come with dollars. In order not to distract the client from the game, he (violating the law) is not sent to the window of the exchange office, but bets are accepted in any currency. After all, in a short period of time walking to the “exchanger” he can change his mind and stop playing.

Everything is done to ensure that nothing reminds of the passage of time: in the casino you will not see a clock or even a thin ray of daylight anywhere. Everything is tightly draped, and the light above the tables is equally dim at any time of the day. Many players really forget about time.

Arriving in Monte Carlo, on the first evening the “new Russian” met his old friend playing roulette in the casino.

What hotel did you stay at?

To be honest, I don’t know yet: I’ve only been here for three days.

Instead of electric dryers in the toilet (as in the old days), towels are changed regularly. Reason: It has been observed that a toilet visitor spends an average of 30-40 seconds drying their hands with an electric towel. It takes no more than 4-5 seconds to dry your hands with a regular towel. This means that this equipment steals half a minute per person from the game.

The most active player is often treated to champagne at the house's expense.

Name: Hidden control of a person - Psychology of manipulation.

The book is devoted to techniques for influencing people. It explores the prerequisites and studies the technology of covert control and manipulation. Numerous examples of the use of this technology in relations between managers and subordinates, women and men, children and parents, teachers and students, etc. are given.
The book helps you master this method of managing people and teaches you how to protect yourself from manipulators.
Addressed to those who want to achieve a lot, relying on the power of their intellect.

Many things are incomprehensible to us not because our concepts are weak; but because these things are not included in the range of our concepts.
Kozma Prutkov
Attempts to control a person, a group of people and other human communities often encounter resistance from the latter. In this case, two paths are open to the initiator of the control action:
try to force them to perform the action imposed on them, that is, break resistance (open control);
disguise the control action so that it does not raise objections (hidden control).
It is clear that it is impossible to use the second method after the failure of the first - the intention has been guessed and the addressee is on guard.
The second method is used when they anticipate resistance and therefore immediately rely on the concealment of the influence.
In fact, in every group of people there is a person who influences others, often unnoticed, and others unconsciously obey him.
Hidden control is carried out against the will of the addressee and allows for the latter’s possible disagreement with what is proposed (otherwise the initiator has no reason to hide his intentions).

Content
Introduction
PART I. PSYCHOLOGICAL FOUNDATIONS OF HIDDEN CONTROL
Chapter 1. EXPLOITATION OF HUMAN NEEDS
1.1. Types of needs
1.2. Physiological needs
1.3. Need for security
1.4. The need to belong to a community
1.5. Need for respect, recognition
1.6. Need for self-realization
1.7. Need for positive emotions
Chapter 2. EXPLOITING HUMAN WEAKNESSES
2.1. Weaknesses inherent in everyone
2.2. Weaknesses inherent in some
Chapter 3. USING PSYCHIC FEATURES
3.1. Psychological contagion
3.2. Identification
3.3. Templates
3.4. Feelings
3.5. Communication
3.6. Perception
3.7. Impact of first impression
Chapter 4. USING STEREOTYPES
4.1. Rituals
4.2. Standards of Conduct
4.3. Prevailing stereotypes
4.4. Traditions and rituals
PART II. HIDDEN CONTROL TECHNOLOGY
Introduction
Chapter 5. OBTAINING CONTROL INFORMATION ABOUT THE ADDRESSEE OF IMPACT
5.1. Detection and use of the addressee's individual characteristics
5.2. "Reading" faces and voices
5.3. Pantomime
Chapter 6. TARGETS AND LURE
6.1. Targets of influence
6.2. Target Selection
6.3. Lures for the recipient
Chapter 7. ATTRACTION
7.1. Psychological content of attraction
7.2. The art of compliment
7.3. Subtleties of listening
7.4. Means of achieving attraction
Chapter 8. COMPULSION TO ACTION
8.1. Consciousness and subconsciousness
8.2. Suggestion
8.3. Information manipulation
8.4. Tricks
8.5. Rhetorical Methods
8.6. Neurolinguistic programming (NLP) methods
PART III. PROTECTION AGAINST HIDDEN CONTROL AND MANIPULATION
Chapter 9. PROTECTIVE PROCEDURES
9.1. Protection algorithm
9.2. Don't give information
9.3. Realize that you are being controlled
9.4. Passive protection
9.5. Active protection
9.6. Defense "Dot the i's"
9.7. From escape to control
Chapter 10. TRANSACT ANALYSIS AND COMMUNICATION FORECAST
10.1. Interaction Analysis
10.2. Transactional analysis of hidden control
10.3. Transactional analysis with manipulation
PART IV. HIDDEN CONTROL IN OUR LIFE
Chapter 11. OFFICE RELATIONS
11.1. Hidden management and manipulation in a team
11.2. Subordinates control managers
11.3. Hidden management of subordinates
11.4. Manipulation of subordinates
Chapter 12. BUSINESS COMMUNICATION. NEGOTIATION
12.1. Creating the desired environment
12.2. Self-feeding technique
12.3. Hidden control and manipulation of a partner
12.4. Manipulation of negotiators
Chapter 13. SELLERS AND BUYERS
13.1. Hidden buyer management
13.2. Seller's memo
13.3. Manipulation of buyers and sellers
13.4. Bazaar in our life
Chapter 14. WOMEN AND MEN
14.1. Manipulation of spouses
14.2. Sex as a means of manipulation
14.3. Manipulation like a woman
14.4. Hidden Control in Romantic Relationships
Chapter 15. ADULTS AND CHILDREN
15.1. Hidden control of children in the family
15.2. Manipulation of children in the family
15.3. Children manipulate their parents
15.4. Students manipulate teachers
15.5. Hidden control and manipulation of students
Chapter 16. POLITICS
16.1. Brilliant manipulator
16.2. Manipulation in the service of propaganda
16.3. Gray spots of our history
16.4. Hidden control - the weapon of famous politicians
16.5. Voter manipulation
Chapter 17. ADVERTISING
17.1. Hidden control is the basis of effective advertising
17.2. Techniques of hidden influence on the consumer
17.3. Ineffective advertising
17.4. Voter manipulation
Chapter 18. MANIPULATION OF VIEWERS
18.1. Manipulative artists
18.2. Attraction like an actor
18.3. Hidden control at the service of stage masters
Conclusion

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SHEYNOV Viktor Pavlovich

"HIDDEN HUMAN MANAGEMENT"

Introduction

Many things are incomprehensible to us not because our concepts are weak; but because these things are not included in the range of our concepts.

Kozma Prutkov

Attempts to control a person, a group of people and other human communities often encounter resistance from the latter. In this case, two paths are open to the initiator of the control action:

to attempt force perform the action imposed on them, that is, break resistance (open control); disguise control action so that it does not cause objections (hidden control).

It is clear that it is impossible to use the second method after the failure of the first - the intention has been guessed and the addressee is on guard.

The second method is used when they anticipate resistance and therefore immediately rely on the concealment of the influence.

In fact, in every group of people there is a person who influences others, often unnoticed, and others unconsciously obey him.

Hidden control is carried out against the will of the addressee and allows for the latter’s possible disagreement with what is proposed (otherwise the initiator has no reason to hide his intentions).

Is it moral to secretly control another person against their will? It depends on the degree of morality of the initiator's goals. If his goal is to gain personal gain at the expense of the victim, then it is certainly immoral. We call hidden control of a person against his will, bringing unilateral benefits to the initiator, manipulation. The initiator controlling the impact will be called manipulator and the recipient of the impact - victim(manipulation).

Thus, manipulation is a type of hidden control determined by selfish, unseemly goals manipulator, causing damage (material or psychological) to its victim.

Hidden management can pursue quite noble goals. For example, when a parent, instead of giving orders, quietly and painlessly controls the child, unobtrusively pushing him to take action in the right direction. Or the same thing in the relationship between a manager and a subordinate. In both cases, the object of control retains its dignity and consciousness of its own freedom. Such hidden control is not manipulation.

Likewise, if a woman, with the help of all sorts of feminine tricks, secretly controls a man so that he gets rid of bad habits (alcohol abuse, smoking, etc.), then such control can only be welcomed. In other cases, it is quite difficult to draw the line between whether it is manipulation or not. Then the term “hidden control” will have a broader meaning.

In the general case of hidden control, we will call the initiator of the control action managing entity or simply subject or sender impact. Accordingly, we will call the recipient of the impact managed object or simply object(impact).

PART I. Psychological foundations of covert control

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand in life, in ourselves, in the world around us.

Socrates

Chapter 1. Exploitation of human needs

I cannot control the direction of the wind, but I can always set the sails in such a way as to achieve my goal.

O. Wilde 1.1. TYPES OF NEEDS Four sources of manipulation

In us, in our misunderstanding of ourselves, lies the opportunity to manipulate us.

We are controlled by our needs.

Each of us has some weaknesses.

Each is characterized by certain addictions.

We are all accustomed to acting according to the rules, observing rituals.

All this can be used (and is used!) by manipulators.

Classification of needs

The following classification of human needs, proposed by A. Maslow, is generally accepted.

Physiological needs (food, water, shelter, rest, health, desire to avoid pain, sex, etc.).

The need for security, confidence in the future.

The need to belong to some community (family, group of friends, like-minded people, etc.).

The need for respect, recognition. The need for self-realization.

At the same time, psychologists have established the enormous importance of positive emotions for a person’s mental health (and therefore physical health).

Satisfying each of the above needs brings positive emotions. However, there are things and circumstances that also give us similar emotions, but are not related to any of the five types of needs. For example, good weather, a beautiful landscape, a funny scene, an interesting book or conversation, favorite activities, etc. Therefore, we consider it possible to supplement A. Maslow’s classification with another, sixth type: the need for positive emotions.

Sheinov Viktor Pavlovich

HIDDEN HUMAN MANAGEMENT (Psychology of manipulation)

Publishers: AST, Harvest

The book is devoted to techniques for influencing people. It explores the prerequisites and studies the technology of covert control and manipulation. Numerous examples of the use of this technology in relations between managers and subordinates, women and men, children and parents, teachers and students, etc. are given.

The book helps you master this method of managing people and teaches you how to protect yourself from manipulators. Addressed to those who want to achieve a lot, relying on the power of their intellect.

INTRODUCTION

PART I. PSYCHOLOGICAL FOUNDATIONS OF HIDDEN CONTROL

¡ Chapter 1. OPERATION OF HUMAN NEEDS 1.1. TYPES OF NEEDS 1.2. PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS

1.4. THE NEED TO BELONG TO A COMMUNITY

1.6. NEED FOR SELF-realization

1.7. NEED FOR POSITIVE EMOTIONS

¡ Chapter 2. USING HUMAN WEAKNESSES 2.1. WEAKNESSES INHERENT IN EVERYONE 2.2. WEAKNESSES IN SOME

¡ Chapter 3. USING PSYCHIC FEATURES

3.1. PSYCHOLOGICAL CONTAMINATION

3.2. IDENTIFICATION

3.3. TEMPLATES

3.4. FEELINGS

3.5. COMMUNICATION

3.6. PERCEPTION

3.7. IMPACT OF FIRST IMPRESSION¡ Chapter 4. USING STEREOTYPES

4.1. RITUALS

4.2. STANDARDS OF CONDUCT

4.3. PREMIUMING STEREOTYPES

4.4. TRADITIONS AND RITUALS

PART II. HIDDEN CONTROL TECHNOLOGY

¡ INTRODUCTION

¡ Chapter 5. OBTAINING CONTROL INFORMATION ABOUT THE ADDRESSEE OF IMPACT

5.1. DETECTION AND USE OF INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERISTICS OF THE ADDRESSEE

¡ Chapter 6. TARGETS AND LURE 6.1. TARGETS OF INFLUENCE 6.2. SELECTION OF TARGETS

6.3. LURE FOR THE ADDRESSEE¡ Chapter 7. ATTRACTION

7.1. PSYCHOLOGICAL CONTENT OF ATTRACTION

7.2. THE ART OF COMPLIMENTS

7.3. SUBTLETS OF LISTENING

7.4. MEANS OF ACHIEVEMENT OF ATTRACTION¡ Chapter 8. COMPULSION TO ACTION

8.1. CONSCIOUS AND SUBCONSCIOUS

8.2. SUGGESTION

8.3. MANIPULATION OF INFORMATION

8.4. TRICKS

8.5. RHETORICAL METHODS 8.6. METHODS OF NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)

PART III. PROTECTION AGAINST HIDDEN CONTROL AND MANIPULATION

¡ Chapter 9. PROTECTIVE PROCEDURES 9.1. PROTECTION ALGORITHM

9.2. DO NOT GIVE INFORMATION

9.3. BE AWARE THAT YOU ARE BEING CONTROLLED

9.4. PASSIVE PROTECTION

9.5. ACTIVE PROTECTION

9.6. FROM ESCAPE TO CONTROL

¡ Chapter 10. TRANSACT ANALYSIS AND COMMUNICATION FORECAST 10.1. INTERACTION ANALYSIS 10.2. TRANSACT ANALYSIS OF HIDDEN CONTROL

10.3. TRANSACT ANALYSIS BY MANIPULATION

PART IV. HIDDEN CONTROL IN OUR LIFE

¡ Chapter 11. OFFICIAL RELATIONS 11.1. HIDDEN MANAGEMENT AND MANIPULATION IN THE TEAM

11.2. SUBORDINATES MANAGE MANAGERS

11.3. HIDDEN MANAGEMENT OF SUBORDINATES

11.4. MANIPULATION OF SUBORDINATES¡ Chapter 12. BUSINESS COMMUNICATION. NEGOTIATION

12.1. CREATING THE DESIRED ENVIRONMENT

12.2. SELF-FEEDING TECHNIQUE

12.3. HIDDEN CONTROL AND PARTNER MANIPULATION

12.4. MANIPULATION OF NEGOTIATION PARTICIPANTS¡ Chapter 13. SELLERS AND BUYERS

13.1. HIDDEN BUYER MANAGEMENT

13.2. SELLER'S NOTE

13.3. MANIPULATION OF BUYERS AND SELLERS

13.4. MARKET IN OUR LIFE¡ Chapter 14. WOMEN AND MEN

14.1. MANIPULATION OF SPOUSES

14.2. SEX AS A MEANS OF MANIPULATION

14.3. MANIPULATION AS A FEMALE

14.4. HIDDEN CONTROL IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS¡ Chapter 15. ADULTS AND CHILDREN

15.1. HIDDEN CHILDREN MANAGEMENT IN THE FAMILY

15.2. MANIPULATION OF CHILDREN IN THE FAMILY

In the American city of Cleveland, the director of the zoo was very upset by the behavior of a young gorilla - she stubbornly refused to eat. Therefore, he climbed into her cage every day, ate fruits, bread, and roast until the inexperienced gorilla, imitating him, learned to eat on its own.

Then things went on their own - the physiological need for food plus the acquired skill did their job: the cub gained weight. (However, during his training, the director also gained 15 kg and is now exhausting himself with diets in order to get rid of excess weight.)

How to overcome your husband's laziness

The inhabitant of the cottage turns to her neighbor, a woman with an excellent figure, who has gone out into her garden: “Darling, could you put on your bikini swimsuit? It suits you so well!”

Having received consent, she enters her house and says to her husband: “Would you like to see what swimsuits are now in fashion? Just like this on the neighbor. At the same time, mow the lawn.”

It is clear that the wife is using an erotic stimulus to force her husband to work. In addition, the husband, inflamed by the sight of seductive female forms (the wife knows this from experience), in bed in the evening will not be as lazy as usual.

With this manipulation, the wife achieves two goals at once.

Naked truth

The effectiveness of manipulations using sexual-erotic needs is also evidenced by the following historical episode.

Praxiteles, the famous ancient Greek sculptor, sculpted a statue of the goddess of love and beauty Aphrodite, using the hetera Phryne, who was distinguished by her extraordinary beauty, as a model.

A scandal broke out. In court, Phryne was accused of insulting the cult of the gods and wanting to introduce

state self-worship. Prosecutors demanded that she be put to death.

The acquittal speech of Hyperides's defender did not impress the judges. Seeing this, he made a last desperate attempt to save the defendant. Turning to the accused, who was sitting next to him on the bench, he told her:

Stand up, Phryne.

And then he addressed the judges:

Noble judges, I have not finished my speech yet! No! There is still a conclusion left, and I will finish this way: look at the weight, you fans of Aphrodite, and then sentence, if you dare, to death the one whom the goddess herself would recognize as a sister...

Saying these words, Hyperides threw off Phryne’s clothes and exposed the charms of the hetaera. A cry of delight escaped from the chests of two hundred judges.

Admired by the amazing beauty that appeared before them, the judges unanimously proclaimed Phryne’s innocence.

It was impossible, but now it is possible

Physiological needs can be used for hidden control without naturalism.

A certain woman came to the priest for advice. She dreamed of having a child, but her husband did not want this and took every possible precaution. The priest advised her to tell her husband that his efforts were in vain - she became pregnant. The woman did just that. My husband had to come to terms with it, since abortion was strictly prohibited. From now on there was no point in depriving himself of pleasure, the husband stopped using protection... and the wife soon really became pregnant.

Physiology took its toll.

The sexual component of popularity

In the modern stage, the sexual moment is used to the maximum extent. For example, those present at rock concerts claim that they feel a powerful flow of sexual energy coming from the stage.

Successful pop singers are usually sexually attractive to viewers of the opposite sex. Thousands of girls are in love with their idols.

“Stars” try not to start a family for a longer time, so as not to deprive their fans and fans of hope who dream of uniting with the “object” of admiration.

A noteworthy episode from the program “Musical Ring” with the participation of singer Julian. In two rounds, he was slightly ahead of his rivals in terms of the sympathy of television viewers. In the third, his opponents asked him

question about his “wedding” with Nonna Mordyukova. After this, the audience turned away from Julian, although he sang incomparably better than his rivals.

Thus, the popularity of pop performers rests largely on the fact that they satisfy the audience's needs for sexual spectacles. This also applies to film and theater actors and actresses.

The sex appeal of many popular television journalists, especially female television journalists, is noteworthy.

1.3. NEED FOR SECURITY

Using Fear

This human need is the basis of one of the most profitable types of business - insurance. Professional insurance agents first intimidate the client in order to then insure him against all possible misfortunes.

The unforgettable Khoja Nasreddin used fear much more wittily than insurance agents.

Someone suspected neighbors of stealing his wallet. None of them admitted guilt. Khoja gave each of them a stick of the same length and said: “Tomorrow you will all come to me with these sticks, and I will establish which of you is guilty: the one who stole the money will have his stick lengthened by a quarter overnight.”

Night has come. But the thief did not sleep and thought, overcome with fear: “By tomorrow my stick will increase by a quarter, and I will be exposed.”

He calmed down only by shortening his stick just as much as it should have grown.

"Marie October"

The investigation, built on manipulation using the fear of exposure, also turned out to be successful in a plot from the history of the French Resistance.

An unknown traitor betrayed members of this patriotic movement to the Nazis. The survivors gathered to find out which of them was the traitor. Everyone brought

proof of your honesty. And Marie (the main character of the film “Marie October”) announced to the former underground fighters gathered in the room that she had managed to find the Gestapo man who was present at that very interrogation when one of them could not stand the torture and betrayed the rest. He is downstairs now and at her signal he will go up the stairs. “Perhaps the traitor will confess himself?”

The heroine of the film finally asked her comrades. But no one uttered a sound. Then Marie went to the doors, opened them and clapped her hands three times.

AND Then the heavy clatter of boots of a man was heard climbing the steps. His steps were loud and scary. They are inevitable. They are retribution.

AND here one of the former underground workers, no longer able to control himself, jumped up and rushed out of the room. The traitor gave himself away.

The technique used by Marie October was extremely simple. Of course, there was no “Gestapo man”. She simply asked someone she knew to stomp on the stairs.

The fire that never happened

History has preserved another interesting plot for our topic, concerning the already mentioned Praxiteles and the hetaera Phryne. The sculptor, as payment for love services, offered her to take the most beautiful statue in his workshop.

Phryne cried out with joy at this proposal, but after a short reflection she said:

- The most beautiful of the statues?.. And which of them is the most beautiful?

- “That doesn’t concern me,” Praxiteles objected, laughing. - I told you - choose

- But I don't know anything about this.

- So much the worse for you.

Phryne looked around the workshop filled with marble and bronze.

- Well?.. - he asked.

- “I take your word,” answered the young woman. - I have the right to take the statue from here. This is enough for me; I will exercise my right at another time.

Fine.

A few days later, Praxiteles dined with his mistress. During the meal, a slave quickly entered, playing the role assigned to him by Phryne.

- What's happened? - asked Phryne.

- “Praxiteles has a fire in his workshop,” the servant answered.

- In my workshop! - Praxiteles cried, jumping up from his seat. - I will perish if the flame destroys my Satyr or Cupid.

And he rushed out.

But Phryne, holding him back, said with a sly smile:

- My dear, calm down: the flame will not destroy either Satyr or Cupid, it did not even touch your workshop, all this is nothing. I just wanted to know which of the statues you prefer. Now I know. With your permission, I'll take Cupid.

Praxiteles bit his lips, but the trick turned out to be so witty that it was impossible to get angry.

Phryne received Cupid, which she gave to her hometown a few years later.

Eastern despots

As we see, manipulations based on fear have come to us from time immemorial.

History shows that many rulers cultivated fear in order to control people. With unheard-of (even for his time) cruelties, Timur (Tamerlane) kept in fear and obedience not only his entourage and people, but many peoples he conquered (this is described in detail in our book).

Ancient manuscripts conveyed an episode similar to our theme.

Takhmasi Kuli Khan had dinner with one of his favorites. He was served a dish with some new vegetables. “There is nothing better and healthier than this dish,” said the sovereign. "There is nothing better and healthier"

The courtier said. After lunch, Kuli Khan felt ill and could not sleep. “There is nothing,” he said, getting up in the morning, “worse and more harmful than these vegetables.” “There is nothing worse and more harmful,” said the courtier. “But you didn’t think that yesterday,” the sovereign remarked. “What made you change your mind?” “The respect and fear I feel,” the favorite objected. “I can blaspheme this dish with impunity: I am a slave of your highness, but not a slave of these vegetables.”

Having been caught in the falsity of his statements, the courtier cleverly gets out of the situation. A deliberate demonstration of fear of the sovereign is a protective manipulation of the courtier: emphasizing that his safety depends entirely on the disposition of the sovereign, he thereby plays into his complacency and intoxication with power.

How they sometimes “read” thoughts

The need of subordinates for their own safety allows dictators to easily “guess their desires.”

During Stalin's time, there was a practice of inviting outstanding artists to perform for the leader and his inner circle. After listening to Kozlovsky’s performance, the audience began to argue about what to order to sing again. Stalin interrupted them:

Why, comrades, you can’t do this. You need to ask the artist to perform what he wants. And Comrade Kozlovsky would like to perform “I Remember a Wonderful Moment.”

No comments needed.

King Solomon's court...

The need for security forces one to choose the lesser of two evils. Many manipulations are based on this.

The first description of such manipulation is found in the Old Testament, where the court of King Solomon is described:

“And one woman said: Oh, my lord! This woman and I live in the same house; and I gave birth in her presence in this house. On the third day after I gave birth, this woman also gave birth; and we were together, and there was no one else in the house with us; only the two of us were in the house. And the woman's son died at night; for she slept him. And she arose at night and took my son from me while I, your handmaid, was sleeping, and laid him to her breast, and she laid her dead son to my breast. In the morning I got up to feed my son, and behold, he was dead; and when I looked at him in the morning, it was not my son whom I gave birth to. And the other woman said: No, my son is alive, but your son is dead. And she told her: no, your son is dead, but mine is alive. And they spoke thus before the king.

And the king said: this one says: “My son is alive, but your son is dead”; and she says: “No, your son is dead, but my son is alive.” And the king said: Give me a sword. And they brought the sword to the king. And the king said, Cut the living child in two, and give half to one and half to the other. And that woman answered,

whose son was alive, to the king< >: oh my lord! give her this child alive and do not kill him. And the other said: let it not be for me or for you, chop it down. And the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and do not kill him; she is his mother.

And all Israel heard of the judgment, as the king judged; and they began to fear the king; for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him to execute judgment.”

And the court of "brothers"

But the plot from today's life is both laughter and sin.

On a country road, a huge jeep crashes into a cart, and it flies into a ditch. The horse twitches its hooves in agony, and the peasant lies and thinks: “Now the rich man will give me money for the damage.” A man gets out of the jeep, approaches the horse, takes out a pistol and shoots at point-blank range. Then he turns

to the peasant:

- How are you feeling, brother?

- Thank you, it's fine.

The last two situations are completely different, but the same technique is used in them - the lesser of the two evils proposed by the initiator of the influence was chosen.

This technique is essentially exploited by people who create a reputation for troublemakers (or liars, or lazy people, or bores). They try not to get involved with them, because “to get in touch is more expensive for yourself.”

That is, they give in without a fight. And this is the goal of this type of manipulator.

How to make life easier

A slight change in this technique allows you to expand the scope of its application. The following parable illustrates this.

A woman came to the sage, it’s bad, she says, we live - cramped, poor. He gave her advice: buy a goat. She bought a goat and put it in a room where she lived with her husband and five children. It became completely unbearable. She ran again to the sage: bad, he says, you gave me advice, we were tormented. Now sell the goat, the sly man advised. That's when the tired woman knew happiness and peace!

Need to believe

The need for security is also expressed in the need to believe in something. By believing, a person feels protected from adversity, adversity, and misfortune.

The human need for faith is the basis for the existence of all religions. Most believers living on Earth today consider themselves adherents of one of the world's religious faiths - Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism. Religion allows us to believe that the Kingdom of God is within us and that trust in our nature (what is) is nothing other than the highest form of religion. We trust the creation of Divine hands.

Totalitarian sects

All kinds of religious sects are pursuing an aggressive policy of recruiting into the ranks of their adherents. These are deliberately manipulative religions, because they make a person believe in his own imperfection. They instill in him distrust of his own nature, after which the person begins to feel the need for external guidance of himself. The founders of sects, as a rule, pursue selfish goals of personal enrichment and power over people who have succumbed to their influence. In return, the latter gain a sense of security, confidence in their future and in the correctness of their chosen path.

Fear of death

The greatest danger to humans is the threat of death. The following historical episode demonstrates how you can use for your own safety the desire of a tyrant to protect himself from the possibility of imminent death.

Louis XI's personal astrologer, to his misfortune, correctly predicted the death of one court lady. Her death, which soon followed the prophecy, greatly upset the king, and Louis decided that the astrologer himself was primarily to blame for this sad story. In anger, the king summoned him to himself, and ordered the guards to seize the astrologer by a secret sign and drown him. When the fortuneteller appeared, the king asked:

“against”, but all together - “for”. Here, conformity was also fueled by a sense of fear of the authorities, who did not stand on ceremony with dissidents.

Crowd phenomenon

It is known that in a crowd a person behaves differently than when he is alone. Even the most notorious individualist can be hypnotized by the crowd. Exactly when a collection of people becomes a mass varies from case to case. Borders are fluid. But the more listeners, the sooner they become a mass.

There are principles that determine the behavior of people in the mass.

The masses react more easily to emotions.

The masses have weakened mental abilities.

The mass does not have an antenna for fine logical work. She wants to hear clear opinions and strong judgments.

People in general are gullible and prone to depersonalization. His ability to criticize decreases.

In the masses, a person's ability to discriminate is limited. He is prone to black and white colors. The instinctive and irrational come first.

All this gave rise to the following aphorism: the crowd has many heads but few brains.

Therefore, speech addressed to the masses has at all times been a favorite technique for demagogues of all kinds. They used mass forms of suggestion and, manipulating the uncontrollable feelings of the crowd, implanted their will into the subconscious of people - often with disastrous consequences.

ABOUT how it was used, for example, by the ideologists of fascism - see chap. 16.

Through the mouth of a child...

We have already said that many of us relate better to representatives of our own kind, nationality, and race. It turns out that the need to belong to such communities is embedded in us quite deeply.

If adults most often do not see external differences between close nations, then children guess them accurately. An experiment that took place several years ago involved English children aged 10-12 (at this age the child has not yet lost his figurative perception of reality).

The thick stack of photographs laid out in front of them had to be sorted according to the “like it or not like it” principle. The children did not know that photographs of Germans and Englishmen were mixed in the packet, but almost unmistakably they collected their compatriots into the “likes” pile and put the strangers aside.

And this is despite the fact that there are fewer anthropological differences between peoples living in neighboring lands than, for example, between Russians living in Kaliningrad and the Far East.

The sensitivity of children is amazing not only in comparison with adults, but also in itself. After all, the external difference between European peoples should initially be insignificant, since geneticists have proven that in general all of humanity descended from one woman.

"Me and the Greats"

People are flattered when they have something in common with great or simply famous people. For decades they keep photographs in which they were “shown” next to some celebrity. And they are ready to brag about it on occasion. Responding to this need, Komsomolskaya Pravda introduced the column “Me and the Greats,” where relevant photographs and stories from readers about their origins are published.

Outstanding artists take advantage of this need of people to increase their own popularity. The reader will find examples of this in the last chapter of the book.

1.5. NEED FOR RESPECT, RECOGNITION

Flatterers use this need in the most simple way. “Grandfather” Krylov very accurately described the power of this technique:

How many times have they told the world that flattery is vile and harmful, but it’s not for the future.

And a flatterer will always find a corner in the heart.

In most cases, the object of flattery understands that he is being flattered, but the very fact of praise is pleasant to him, since it indicates dependence on him, a high social status, and desire.

Many things are incomprehensible to us not because our concepts are weak; but because these things are not included in the range of our concepts.

Kozma Prutkov

Attempts to control a person, a group of people and other human communities often encounter resistance from the latter. In this case, two paths are open to the initiator of the control action:

to attempt force perform the action imposed on them, that is, break resistance (open control); disguise control action so that it does not cause objections (hidden control).

It is clear that it is impossible to use the second method after the failure of the first - the intention has been guessed and the addressee is on guard.

The second method is used when they anticipate resistance and therefore immediately rely on the concealment of the influence.

In fact, in every group of people there is a person who influences others, often unnoticed, and others unconsciously obey him.

Hidden control is carried out against the will of the addressee and allows for the latter’s possible disagreement with what is proposed (otherwise the initiator has no reason to hide his intentions).

Is it moral to secretly control another person against their will? It depends on the degree of morality of the initiator's goals. If his goal is to gain personal gain at the expense of the victim, then it is certainly immoral. We call hidden control of a person against his will, bringing unilateral benefits to the initiator, manipulation. The initiator controlling the impact will be called manipulator and the recipient of the impact - victim(manipulation).

Thus, manipulation is a type of hidden control determined by selfish, unseemly goals manipulator, causing damage (material or psychological) to its victim.

Hidden management can pursue quite noble goals. For example, when a parent, instead of giving orders, quietly and painlessly controls the child, unobtrusively pushing him to take action in the right direction. Or the same thing in the relationship between a manager and a subordinate. In both cases, the object of control retains its dignity and consciousness of its own freedom. Such hidden control is not manipulation.

Likewise, if a woman, with the help of all sorts of feminine tricks, secretly controls a man so that he gets rid of bad habits (alcohol abuse, smoking, etc.), then such control can only be welcomed. In other cases, it is quite difficult to draw the line between whether it is manipulation or not. Then the term “hidden control” will have a broader meaning.

In the general case of hidden control, we will call the initiator of the control action managing entity or simply subject or sender impact. Accordingly, we will call the recipient of the impact managed object or simply object(impact).

PART I. Psychological foundations of covert control

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand in life, in ourselves, in the world around us.

Chapter 1. Exploitation of human needs

I cannot control the direction of the wind, but I can always set the sails in such a way as to achieve my goal.

O. Wilde

1.1. TYPES OF NEEDS

Four Sources of Manipulation

In us, in our misunderstanding of ourselves, lies the opportunity to manipulate us.

We are controlled by our needs.

Each of us has some weaknesses.

Each is characterized by certain addictions.

We are all accustomed to acting according to the rules, observing rituals.

All this can be used (and is used!) by manipulators.

Classification of needs

The following classification of human needs, proposed by A. Maslow, is generally accepted.

- Physiological needs (food, water, shelter, rest, health, desire to avoid pain, sex, etc.).

- The need for security, confidence in the future.

- The need to belong to some community (family, group of friends, like-minded people, etc.).

- The need for respect, recognition. The need for self-realization.

At the same time, psychologists have established the enormous importance of positive emotions for a person’s mental health (and therefore physical health).

Satisfying each of the above needs brings positive emotions. However, there are things and circumstances that also give us similar emotions, but are not related to any of the five types of needs. For example, good weather, a beautiful landscape, a funny scene, an interesting book or conversation, favorite activities, etc. Therefore, we consider it possible to supplement A. Maslow’s classification with another, sixth type: need for positive emotions.

1.2. PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS

Food is a pleasure. Enjoyment of taste. But every time you eat, the acid-base balance is disrupted and there is a danger of caries. Chewing gum "Dirol" with xylitol and urea protects your teeth from morning to evening!

Contagious example

In the American city of Cleveland, the director of the zoo was very upset by the behavior of a young gorilla - she stubbornly refused to eat. Therefore, he climbed into her cage every day, ate fruits, bread, and roast until the inexperienced gorilla, imitating him, learned to eat on its own.

Then things went on their own - the physiological need for food plus the acquired skill did their job: the cub gained weight.(However, during his training, the director also gained 15 kg and is now exhausting himself with diets in order to get rid of excess weight.)

How to overcome your husband's laziness

The inhabitant of the cottage turns to her neighbor, a woman with an excellent figure, who has gone out into her garden: “Darling, could you put on your bikini swimsuit? It suits you so well!”

Having received consent, she enters her house and says to her husband: “Would you like to see what kind of swimsuits are now in fashion? Just like the one the neighbor is wearing. At the same time, mow the lawn.”

It is clear that the wife is using an erotic stimulus to force her husband to work. In addition, the husband, inflamed by the sight of seductive female forms (the wife knows this from experience), in bed in the evening will not be as lazy as usual.

With this manipulation, the wife achieves two goals at once.

Naked truth

The effectiveness of manipulations using sexual-erotic needs is also evidenced by the following historical episode.