Funny stories about school. Very funny school stories Interesting short stories about school and students

Varvara Fedotova

Man, gentleman and sparrow

Once upon a time there lived a man who had food for two days, but not a penny in his pocket! Then the man got ready to go into the forest to chop wood. I chopped some wood and at the same time caught a sparrow, maybe it will come in handy. Arriving home, the man began sorting through the firewood, and the idea came to his mind to sell all the firewood and buy boards and a bridle. So I did. I built a sled out of boards with holes for the legs and covered the top so that the holes were not visible. He attached a small bridle and harnessed the sparrow. The man took this structure out onto the road and began to pretend that a sparrow was carrying him and the sleigh. The people are surprised, but the master liked it the most!

How much do you want for a sparrow, man?

I'll drop my silver cap!

Man, have your brains all dried up?!

No less! Look how strong he is, my sparrow!

The master had no choice but to pay the peasant as much as he asked, he really liked the strange sparrow! Well, after such a successful deal, the man lived and lived and knew no sorrow!

Mikhail Kasyan

Questions for three days

Once upon a time there lived a king, and he had three sons: one was smart, the other was so-so, the third was a fool.

One day the king called his children together with their beloved ones, and the father said this:

Whoever wants a reward must answer the questions: Who is the strongest? Who is the lightest? Who is smarter than everyone? You have three days.

Three days have passed. The smart one says: “The bear is the strongest, the feather is the lightest, the owl is the smartest.”

The middle one answers: “The wind is the strongest, the needle is the lightest, the books are smarter than all.”

The fool claims: “The earth is strongest, it holds us all. The wind is lighter for everyone. And the smartest man of all!”

Who received the award? Well, of course, you're a fool!

Anfisa Zorina

How grandfather taught grandmother a lesson

Once upon a time there lived a grandfather and grandmother. Grandma was lazy and grumpy. When my grandfather wanted to eat, he asked his grandmother: “Cook me some porridge, old woman!”

And the old woman answered: “Cook it yourself, and feed me too!”

“Okay,” says the grandfather, “come on, whoever gets the water into his pot slowest will cook.” And we will carry it with a sieve and a thimble from the stream. Choose!”

Grandma chose a sieve, it’s bigger. The woman carries and carries water, but there is no more water in the pot. And the grandfather quickly filled his pot with a thimble.

Although the thimble is small, water does not escape through the holes! And grandma had to cook porridge!”

Maxim Tsai

How the man got the bread

Once upon a time there lived a man. He didn’t have anything to drink or eat, and he didn’t have a penny at home. But one day he chopped wood, sold it and bought paint. He caught a frog, painted it, put it in a jar and placed it on the window.

Then the gentleman was driving past, saw the jar and was amazed.

What, man, is this overseas miracle?

Yes, the frog is magical and makes wishes come true.

How is this? Come on, show me!

Well, look! I don’t have an ax now, but now...

Frog! Frog! Magic ear! Make sure there is an ax in my oven! And the man poked the frog with a stick. The frog croaked, and the man took an ax out of the oven.

Well, it's a miracle! - the master admires, - How much will you take for a frog?

Ten gold coins!

Whaaaat?

The frog is magical!

Okay, I'm buying it!

So the master bought a frog. But the peasant lived, chewed bread, and did not know grief.

Polina Nemtyreva

About laziness

Once upon a time there lived an old man and an old woman; they were both very lazy and constantly quarreled and swore. One day the old man says: “Clean up the house, old woman!” And his wife answered him: “Clean up yourself!” They argued until they decided whoever fell asleep first should clean up. They sat down at the table and began to sit. They sat for an hour, sat for two, three, and on the fourth they couldn’t stand it and they both fell asleep. And the hut remained so dirty!

As soon as the teacher turned to the board, I immediately went under the desk. When the teacher notices that I have disappeared, he will probably be terribly surprised.

I wonder what he'll think? He’ll start asking everyone where I’ve gone - it’ll be a laugh! Half the lesson has already passed, and I’m still sitting. “When,” I think, “will he see that I’m not in the class?” And it’s hard to sit under the desk. My back even hurt. Try to sit like that! I coughed - no attention. I can't sit anymore. Moreover, Seryozha keeps poking me in the back with his foot. I couldn't stand it. Didn't make it to the end of the lesson. I get out and say:

Sorry, Pyotr Petrovich.

The teacher asks:

What's the matter? Do you want to go to the board?

No, excuse me, I was sitting under my desk...

So, is it comfortable to sit there, under the desk? You sat very quietly today. This is how it would always be in class.

In the closet

Before class, I climbed into the closet. I wanted to meow from the closet. They'll think it's a cat, but it's me.

I was sitting in the closet, waiting for the lesson to start, and didn’t notice how I fell asleep. I wake up - the class is quiet. I look through the crack - there is no one. I pushed the door, but it was closed. So, I slept through the entire lesson. Everyone went home, and they locked me in the closet.

It's stuffy in the closet and dark as night. I got scared, I started screaming:

Uh-uh! I'm in the closet! Help! I listened - silence all around.

ABOUT! Comrades! I'm sitting in the closet! I hear someone's steps.

Someone is coming.

Who's bawling here?

I immediately recognized Aunt Nyusha, the cleaning lady. I was delighted and shouted:

Aunt Nyusha, I'm here!

Where are you, dear?

I'm in the closet! In the closet!

How about you? honey, did you get there?

I'm in the closet, grandma!

So I hear that you are in the closet. So what do you want? I was locked in a closet. Oh, grandma! Aunt Nyusha left. Silence again. She probably went to get the key.

Pal Palych knocked on the cabinet with his finger.

There’s no one there,” said Pal Palych. Why not? “Yes,” said Aunt Nyusha.

Well, where is he? - said Pal Palych and knocked on the closet again.

I was afraid that everyone would leave and I would remain in the closet, and I shouted with all my might:

I'm here!

Who are you? - asked Pal Palych.

I... Tsypkin...

Why did you go there, Tsypkin?

I was locked... I didn't get in...

Hm... He's locked up! But he didn’t get in! Have you seen it? What wizards there are in our school! They don't get into the closet when they are locked in the closet! Miracles don’t happen, do you hear, Tsypkin?

I hear...

How long have you been sitting there? - asked Pal Palych.

Don't know…

Find the key, said Pal Palych. - Fast.

Aunt Nyusha went to get the key, but Pal Palych stayed behind. He sat down on a chair nearby and began to wait. I saw his face through the crack. He was very angry. He lit a cigarette and said:

Well! This is what pranks can lead to! Tell me honestly, why are you in the closet?

I really wanted to disappear from the closet. They open the closet, and I’m not there. It was as if I had never been there. They will ask me: “Were you in the closet?” I will say: “I wasn’t.” They will say to me: “Who was there?” I'll say, "I don't know."

But this only happens in fairy tales! Surely tomorrow they will call mom... Your son, they will say, climbed into the closet, slept through all the lessons there, and all that... As if it’s comfortable for me to sleep here! My legs ache, my back hurts. One torment! What was my answer?

I was silent.

Are you alive there? - asked Pal Palych.

Alive...

Well, sit tight, they'll open soon...

I'm sitting...

So... - said Pal Palych. - So will you answer me why you climbed into this closet?

Who? Tsypkin? In the closet? Why?

I wanted to disappear again.

The director asked:

Tsypkin, is that you?

I sighed heavily. I simply couldn't answer anymore.

Aunt Nyusha said:

The class leader took the key away.

“Break down the door,” said the director.

I felt the door being broken down, the closet shook, and I hit my forehead painfully. I was afraid that the cabinet would fall, and I cried. I pressed my hands against the walls of the closet, and when the door gave way and opened, I continued to stand in the same way.

Well, come out,” said the director. - And explain to us what that means.

I didn't move. I was scared.

Why is he standing? - asked the director.

I was pulled out of the closet.

I was silent the whole time.

I didn't know what to say.

I just wanted to meow. But how would I say this?..

Secret

We have secrets from the girls. There is no way in hell we trust them with our secrets. They can spill any secret all over the world. They can spill even the most state secret. It's good that they don't trust them with this!

True, we don’t have such important secrets, where can we get them from! So we came up with them ourselves. We had this secret: we buried a couple of bullets in the sand and didn’t tell anyone about it. There was another secret: we collected nails. For example, I collected twenty-five different nails, but who knew about it? Nobody! I didn't tell anyone. You understand how difficult it was for us! So many secrets passed through our hands that I don’t even remember how many there were. And not a single girl found out anything. They walked and looked sideways at us, all sorts of crooks, and all they thought about was to get our secrets out of us. Although they never asked us anything, that doesn’t mean anything! How cunning they are!

And yesterday I was walking around the yard with our secret, with our new wonderful secret, and suddenly I saw Irka. I walked past several times and she glanced at me.

I walked around the yard some more, and then approached her and sighed quietly. I deliberately sighed slightly so that she would not think that I sighed on purpose.

I sighed twice more, she again just glanced sideways, and that’s all. Then I stopped sighing, since there was no point in it, and said:

If you knew that I know, you would have failed right here on the spot.

She looked sideways at me again and said:

“Don’t worry,” he answers, “I won’t fail, no matter how you fail.”

“Why should I,” I say, “fail, I have no reason to fail, since I know the secret.”

A secret? - speaks. - What secret?

She looks at me and waits for me to start telling her about the secret.

And I say:

A secret is a secret, and it does not exist to blab this secret out to everyone.

For some reason she got angry and said:

Then get out of here with your secrets!

Ha, I say, that’s still not enough! Is this your yard, or what?

It actually made me laugh. This is what we've come to!

We stood and stood for a while, then I saw her looking askance again.

I pretended that I was about to leave. And I say:

OK. The secret will remain with me. - And he grinned so that she understood what it meant.

She didn’t even turn her head towards me and said:

You don't have any secret. If you had any secret, you would have told it long ago, but since you don’t tell it, it means there is nothing like that.

What do you think she's saying? Some kind of nonsense? But, to be honest, I was a little confused. And it’s true, they may not believe me that I have some kind of secret, since no one knows about it except me. Everything was mixed up in my head. But I pretended that nothing was mixed up there and said:

It's a shame that you can't be trusted. Otherwise I would have told you everything. But you may turn out to be a traitor...

And then I see her looking at me with one eye again.

I speak:

This is not a simple matter, I hope you understand this very well, and I think there is no point in being offended over any reason, especially if it were not a secret, but some trifle, and if I knew you better...

I talked for a long time and a lot. For some reason, I had this desire to talk for a long time and a lot. When I finished, she wasn't there.

She was crying, leaning against the wall. Her shoulders were shaking. I heard sobs.

I immediately realized that there was no way in hell she could turn out to be a traitor. She is just the person you can safely trust with everything. I understood this immediately.

You see... - I said, - if you... give your word... and swear...

And I told her the whole secret.

The next day they beat me.

She blabbed to everyone...

But the most important thing was not that Irka turned out to be a traitor, not that the secret was revealed, but that then we could not come up with a single new secret, no matter how hard we tried.

I didn't eat any mustard

I hid the bag under the stairs. And he turned the corner and came out onto the avenue.

Spring. Sun. The birds are singing. Somehow I don’t feel like going to school. Anyone will get tired of it. So I'm tired of it.

I look - the car is standing, the driver is looking at something in the engine. I ask him:

Broken?

The driver is silent.

Broken? - I ask.

He is silent.

I stood, stood, and said:

What, the car broke down?

This time he heard.

He guessed right, he says, it’s broken. Do you want to help? Well, let's fix it together.

Yes, I... I can’t...

If you don't know how, don't. I'll do it myself somehow.

There are two standing there. They are talking. I come closer. I'm listening. One says:

What about the patent?

Another says:

Good with the patent.

“Who is this,” I think, “patent? I’ve never heard of him.” I thought they would also talk about the patent. But they didn’t say anything more about the patent. They started talking about the plant. One noticed me and said to the other:

Look, the guy has his mouth open.

And he turns to me:

What do you want?

It’s okay for me,” I answer, “I’m just like that...

Don't you have anything to do?

That's good! Do you see the crooked house over there?

Go push him from that side so that he is level.

How is this?

And so. You have nothing to do. You push him. And they both laugh.

I wanted to answer something, but couldn’t think of one. On the way I came up with an idea and returned to them.

It’s not funny, I say, but you laugh.

It's like they don't hear. Me again:

Not funny at all. Why are you laughing?

Then one says:

We don't laugh at all. Where do you see us laughing?

They really weren't laughing anymore. They were laughing before. So, I'm a little late...

ABOUT! The broom is standing against the wall. And there is no one around. Wonderful broom, big!

The janitor suddenly comes out of the gate:

Don't touch the broom!

Why do I need a broom? I don't need a broom...

If you don’t need it, don’t go near the broom. A broom is for work, not to be approached.

Some evil janitor got caught! I even feel sorry for the brooms. Eh, what should I do? It's too early to go home. The lessons are not over yet. Walking the streets is boring. The guys can't see anyone.

Climb onto scaffolding?! The house right next door is being renovated. I'll look at the city from above. Suddenly I hear a voice:

Where are you going? Hey!

I look - there is no one. Wow! There is no one, but someone is screaming! He began to rise higher - again:

Come on, get off!

I turn my head in all directions. Where are they shouting from? What's happened?

Get off! Hey! Get off, get off!

I almost fell down the stairs.

I crossed to the other side of the street. Upstairs, I look at the forests. I wonder who shouted it. I didn't see anyone nearby. And from afar I saw everything - workers on scaffolding plastering, painting...

I took the tram and got to the ring. There's nowhere to go anyway. I'd rather ride. Tired of walking.

I made my second round on the tram. I arrived at the same place. Drive another lap, or what? It's not time to go home yet. It's a bit early. I look out the carriage window. Everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere, in a hurry. Where is everyone rushing to? Not clear.

Suddenly the conductress says:

Pay again, boy.

I don't have any more money. I only had thirty kopecks.

Then go, boy. Walk.

Oh, I have a long way to walk!

Don't ride around in vain. Probably didn't go to school?

How do you know?

I know everything. You can see it.

What can you see?

It's obvious that you didn't go to school. Here's what you can see. Happy kids are coming home from school. And you seem to have eaten too much mustard.

I didn’t eat any mustard...

Go anyway. I don't drive truants for free.

And then he says:

Okay, go for a ride. I won't allow it next time. Just know that.

But I got off anyway. It's somehow inconvenient. The place is completely unfamiliar. I've never been to this area. On one side there are houses. There are no houses on the other side; five excavators are digging the ground. Like elephants walking on the ground. They scoop up soil with buckets and sprinkle it to the side. What a technique! It's good to sit in the booth. Much better than going to school. You sit there, and he walks around and even digs the ground.

One excavator stopped. The excavator operator got down to the ground and said to me:

Do you want to get into the bucket?

I was offended:

Why do I need a bucket? I want to go to the cabin.

And then I remembered what the conductress told me about mustard, and began to smile. So that the excavator operator thinks I’m funny. And I'm not bored at all. So that he wouldn't guess that I wasn't at school.

He looked at me in surprise:

You look kind of stupid, brother.

I began to smile even more. His mouth stretched almost to his ears.

What's wrong with you?

Why are you making faces at me?

Take me for a ride on an excavator.

This is not a trolleybus for you. This is a working machine. People work on it. Clear?

I speak:

I also want to work on it.

He says:

Hey, brother! We need to study!

I thought he was talking about school. And he began to smile again.

And he waved his hand at me and climbed into the cabin. He didn't want to talk to me anymore.

Spring. Sun. Sparrows swim in puddles. I walk and think to myself. What's the matter? Why am I so bored?

Traveler

I firmly decided to go to Antarctica. To strengthen your character. Everyone says I’m spineless - my mother, my teacher, even Vovka. It's always winter in Antarctica. And there is no summer at all. Only the bravest go there. That's what Vovkin's dad said. Vovkin's dad was there twice. He spoke to Vovka on the radio. He asked how Vovka lived, how he studied. I will also speak on the radio. So that mom doesn't worry.

In the morning I took all the books out of my bag, put sandwiches, a lemon, an alarm clock, a glass and a soccer ball in there. I'm sure I'll meet sea lions there - they love to twirl the ball on their nose. The ball didn't fit into the bag. I had to let the air out of him.

Our cat walked across the table. I put it in my bag too. Everything barely fit.

Now I’m already on the platform. The locomotive whistles. So many people are coming! You can take any train you want. In the end, you can always change seats.

I climbed into the carriage and sat down where there was more space.

An old lady was sleeping opposite me. Then a military man sat down with me. He said: "Hello neighbors!" - and woke up the old woman.

The old woman woke up and asked:

Are we going? - and fell asleep again.

The train started moving. I went to the window. Here is our house, our white curtains, our laundry hanging in the yard... Our house is no longer visible. At first I felt a little scared. But this is just the beginning. And when the train went really fast, I somehow even felt happy! After all, I’m going to strengthen my character!

I'm tired of looking out the window. I sat down again.

What's your name? - asked the military man.

Sasha,” I said barely audibly.

Why is grandma sleeping?

Who knows?

Where are you going? -

Far…

On a visit?

For how long?

He talked to me like an adult, and I really liked him for that.

“For a couple of weeks,” I said seriously.

Well, not bad,” said the military man, “very good indeed.”

I asked:

Are you going to Antarctica?

Not yet; do you want to go to Antarctica?

How do you know?

Everyone wants to go to Antarctica.

And I want to.

Well, you see!

You see... I decided to toughen up...

I understand,” said the military man, “sports, skates...

Not really…

Now I understand - all around there are A's!

No... - I said, - Antarctica...

Antarctica? - asked the military man.

Someone invited the military man to play checkers. And he went to another compartment.

The old lady woke up.

“Don’t swing your legs,” said the old woman.

I went to watch them play checkers.

Suddenly... I even opened my eyes - Murka was walking towards me. And I forgot about her! How was she able to get out of the bag?

She ran back - I followed her. She climbed under someone's shelf - I also immediately climbed under the shelf.

Murka! - I shouted. - Murka!

What's that noise? - the conductor shouted. - Why is there a cat here?

This cat is mine.

Who is this boy with?

I'm with a cat...

With which cat?

“He’s traveling with his grandmother,” the military man said, “she’s here nearby, in the compartment.”

The guide took me straight to the old lady...

Is this boy with you?

“He’s with the commander,” said the old woman.

Antarctica... - the military man remembered, - everything is clear... Do you understand what’s the matter? This boy decided to go to Antarctica. And so he took the cat with him... And what else did you take with you, boy?

Lemon,” I said, “and also sandwiches...

And went to develop your character?

What a bad boy! - said the old lady.

Ugliness! - the conductor confirmed.

Then for some reason everyone started laughing. Even grandma started laughing. Even tears came from her eyes. I didn’t know that everyone was laughing at me, and little by little I started laughing too.

Take the cat,” said the guide. - You have arrived. Here it is, your Antarctica!

The train stopped.

“Is it really,” I think, “Antarctica? So soon?”

We got off the train onto the platform. They put me on an oncoming train and took me home.

Mikhail Zoshchenko, Lev Kassil and others - The Enchanted Letter

Alyosha once had a bad grade. By singing. And so there were no more twos. There were triplets. Almost all three were. There was one four once upon a time, a long time ago.

And there were no A’s at all. The person has never had a single A in his life! Well, it wasn’t like that, it wasn’t, well, what can you do! Happens. Alyosha lived without straight A's. Ross. He moved from class to class. I got my C's. He showed everyone the four and said:

That was a long time ago.

And suddenly - five. And most importantly, for what? For singing. He got this A completely by accident. He sang something like that successfully, and they gave him an A. And they even verbally praised me. They said: “Well done, Alyosha!” In short, this was a very pleasant event, which was overshadowed by one circumstance: he could not show this A to anyone, since it was entered in the magazine, and the magazine, of course, is not given to students as a rule. And he forgot his diary at home. If this is so, it means that Alyosha does not have the opportunity to show everyone his A’s. And so all the joy was darkened. And he, understandably, wanted to show everyone, especially since this phenomenon in his life, as you understand, is rare. They may simply not believe him without factual data. If an A was in the notebook, for example, for a problem solved at home or for a dictation, then it would be as easy as shelling pears. That is, walk around with this notebook and show it to everyone. Until the sheets start to pop out.

During his arithmetic lesson, he hatched a plan: to steal the magazine! He will steal the magazine and bring it back in the morning. During this time, he can get around all his friends and strangers with this magazine. Long story short, he seized the moment and stole the magazine during recess. He put the magazine in his bag and sits as if nothing had happened. Only his heart is beating desperately, which is completely natural, since he committed theft. When the teacher returned, he was so surprised that the magazine was not there that he didn’t even say anything, but suddenly became somewhat thoughtful. It seemed that he doubted whether the magazine was on the table or not, whether it came with or without a magazine. He never asked about the magazine: the thought that one of the students stole it did not even occur to him. There was no such case in his teaching practice. II, without waiting for the bell to ring, he quietly left, and it was clear that he was very upset by his forgetfulness.

And Alyosha grabbed his bag and rushed home. On the tram, he took the magazine out of his bag, found his five and looked at it for a long time. And when he was already walking down the street, he suddenly remembered that he had forgotten the magazine on the tram. When he remembered this, he almost fell down from fear. He even said "oops!" or something like that. The first thought that came to his mind was to run after the tram. But he quickly realized (he was smart, after all!) that there was no point in running after the tram, since it had already left. Then many other thoughts came to his mind. But these were all such insignificant thoughts that they are not worth talking about.

He even had this idea: to take the train and go to the North. And get a job there somewhere. Why exactly to the North, he did not know, but he was going there. That is, he didn’t even intend to. He thought about it for a moment, and then remembered his mother, grandmother, his father and gave up this idea. Then he thought about going to the Lost and Found office, it was quite possible that the magazine was there. But here suspicion will arise. He will most likely be detained and brought to justice. And he did not want to be held accountable, despite the fact that he deserved it.

He came home and even lost weight in one evening. And he couldn’t sleep all night and by morning he probably lost even more weight.

Firstly, his conscience tormented him. The whole class was left without a magazine. All friends' marks have disappeared. His excitement is understandable.

And secondly, five. One in my entire life - and it disappeared. No, I understand him. True, I don’t quite understand his desperate act, but his feelings are completely understandable to me.

So, he came to school in the morning. Worried. Nervous. There is a lump in my throat. Doesn't make eye contact.

The teacher arrives. Speaks:

Guys! The magazine is missing. Some kind of opportunity. And where could he have gone?

Alyosha is silent.

Teacher says:

I seem to remember coming to class with a magazine. I even saw it on the table. But at the same time, I doubt it. I couldn’t lose it along the way, although I remember very well how I picked it up in the staff room and carried it along the corridor.

Some guys say:

No, we remember that the magazine was on the table. We saw.

Teacher says:

In that case, where did he go?

Here Alyosha could not stand it. He could no longer sit and be silent. He stood up and said:

The magazine is probably in the lost things chamber...

The teacher was surprised and said:

Where? Where?

And the class laughed.

Then Alyosha, very worried, says:

No, I’m telling you the truth, he’s probably in the chamber of lost things... he couldn’t have disappeared...

In which cell? - says the teacher.

Lost things,” says Alyosha.

“I don’t understand anything,” says the teacher.

Then Alyosha suddenly became afraid for some reason that he would get into trouble for this matter if he confessed, and he said:

I just wanted to advise...

The teacher looked at him and said sadly:

There is no need to talk nonsense, do you hear?

At this time, the door opens and a woman enters the classroom and holds something wrapped in newspaper in her hand.

“I’m a conductor,” she says, “I’m sorry.” I have a free day today, and so I found your school and class, in which case, take your magazine.

There was immediate noise in the class, and the teacher said:

How so? This is the number! How did our cool magazine end up with the conductor? No, this can't be! Maybe this is not our magazine?

The conductress smiles slyly and says:

No, this is your magazine.

Then the teacher grabs the magazine from the conductor and quickly flips through it.

Yes! Yes! Yes! - he shouts, - This is our magazine! I remember that I carried him along the corridor...

The conductor says:

And then you forgot on the tram?

The teacher looks at her with wide eyes. And she, smiling widely, says:

Well, of course. You forgot it on the tram.

Then the teacher grabs his head:

God! Something is happening to me. How could I forget a magazine on the tram? This is simply unthinkable! Although I remember carrying it down the corridor... Maybe I should leave school? I feel like it’s becoming more and more difficult for me to teach...

The conductress says goodbye to the class, and the whole class shouts “thank you” to her, and she leaves with a smile.

In parting, she says to the teacher:

Next time, be more careful.

The teacher sits at the table with his head in his hands, in a very gloomy mood. Then he, resting his cheeks on his hands, sits and looks at one point.

I stole a magazine.

But the teacher is silent.

Then Alyosha says again:

I stole the magazine. Understand.

The teacher says weakly:

Yes... yes... I understand you... your noble deed... but there is no point in doing this... You want to help me... I know... take the blame... but why do it, my dear...

Alyosha says, almost crying:

No, I'm telling you the truth...

Teacher says:

Look, he still insists... what a stubborn boy... no, this is an amazingly noble boy... I appreciate it, dear, but... since... such things happen to me... I need to think about leaving... leaving teaching for a while...

Alyosha says through tears:

I... tell you... the truth...

The teacher abruptly stands up from his seat, slams his fist on the table and shouts hoarsely:

No need!

After that, he wipes his tears with a handkerchief and quickly leaves.

What about Alyosha?

He remains in tears. He tries to explain to the class, but no one believes him.

He feels a hundred times worse, as if he had been cruelly punished. He can neither eat nor sleep.

He goes to the teacher's house. And he explains everything to him. And he convinces the teacher. The teacher strokes his head and says:

This means that you are not yet a completely lost person and you have a conscience.

And the teacher accompanies Alyosha to the corner and lectures him.

...................................................
Copyright: Victor Golyavkin

Interesting stories Victor Golyavkin for junior schoolchildren. Stories to read in elementary school. Extracurricular reading in grades 1-4.

Victor Golyavkin. NOTEBOOKS IN THE RAIN

During recess, Marik says to me:

- Let's run away from class. Look how nice it is outside!

- What if Aunt Dasha is late with the briefcases?

- You need to throw your briefcases out the window.

We looked out the window: it was dry near the wall, but a little further away there was a huge puddle. Don't throw your briefcases into a puddle! We took the belts off the trousers, tied them together and carefully lowered the briefcases onto them. At this time the bell rang. The teacher entered. I had to sit down. The lesson has begun. The rain poured outside the window. Marik writes me a note:

Our notebooks are missing

I answer him:

Our notebooks are missing

He writes to me:

What are we going to do?

I answer him:

What are we going to do?

Suddenly they call me to the board.

“I can’t,” I say, “I have to go to the board.”

“How,” I think, “can I walk without a belt?”

“Go, go, I’ll help you,” says the teacher.

- You don’t need to help me.

-Are you ill by any chance?

“I’m sick,” I say.

— How’s your homework?

— Good with your homework.

The teacher comes up to me.

- Well, show me your notebook.

- What's happening to you?

- You'll have to give it a two.

He opens the magazine and gives me a bad mark, and I think about my notebook, which is now getting wet in the rain.

The teacher gave me a bad grade and calmly said:

- You're kind of strange today...

Victor Golyavkin. NO LUCK

One day I come home from school. That day I just got a bad grade. I walk around the room and sing. I sing and sing so that no one thinks that I got a bad mark. Otherwise they will ask: “Why are you gloomy, why are you thoughtful? »

Father says:

- Why is he singing like that?

And mom says:

“He’s probably in a cheerful mood, so he’s singing.”

Father says:

“I guess I got an A, that’s what’s fun for a man.” It's always fun when you do something good.

When I heard this, I sang even louder.

Then the father says:

“Okay, Vovka, please your father and show him the diary.”

Then I immediately stopped singing.

- For what? - I ask.

“I see,” says the father, “you really want to show me the diary.”

He takes the diary from me, sees a deuce there and says:

— Surprisingly, I got a bad mark and is singing! What, is he crazy? Come on, Vova, come here! Do you happen to have a fever?

“I don’t have,” I say, “no fever...

The father spread his hands and said:

- Then you need to be punished for this singing...

That's how unlucky I am!

Victor Golyavkin. THAT'S WHAT'S INTERESTING

When Goga started going to first grade, he knew only two letters: O - circle and T - hammer. That's all. I didn't know any other letters. And I couldn’t read.

Grandmother tried to teach him, but he immediately came up with a trick:

- Now, now, grandma, I’ll wash the dishes for you.

And he immediately ran to the kitchen to wash the dishes. And the old grandmother forgot about studying and even bought him gifts for helping him with the housework. And Gogin’s parents were on a long business trip and relied on their grandmother. And of course, they didn’t know that their son still hadn’t learned to read. But Goga often washed the floor and dishes, went to buy bread, and his grandmother praised him in every possible way in letters to his parents. And I read it aloud to him. And Goga, sitting comfortably on the sofa, listened with eyes closed. “Why should I learn to read,” he reasoned, “if my grandmother reads aloud to me.” He didn't even try.

And in class he dodged as best he could.

The teacher tells him:

- Read it here.

He pretended to read, and he himself told from memory what his grandmother read to him. The teacher stopped him. To the laughter of the class, he said:

“If you want, I’d better close the window so it doesn’t blow.”

“I’m so dizzy that I’m probably going to fall...

He pretended so skillfully that one day his teacher sent him to the doctor. The doctor asked:

- How is your health?

“It’s bad,” said Goga.

- What hurts?

- Well, then go to class.

- Why?

- Because nothing hurts you.

- How do you know?

- How do you know? - the doctor laughed. And he slightly pushed Goga towards the exit. Goga never pretended to be sick again, but continued to prevaricate.

And the efforts of my classmates came to nothing. First, Masha, an excellent student, was assigned to him.

“Let’s study seriously,” Masha told him.

- When? - asked Goga.

- Yes, at least now.

“I’ll come now,” Goga said.

And he left and did not return.

Then Grisha, an excellent student, was assigned to him. They stayed in the classroom. But as soon as Grisha opened the primer, Goga reached under the desk.

-Where are you going? - asked Grisha.

“Come here,” Goga called.

- And here no one will interfere with us.

- Come on! - Grisha, of course, was offended and left immediately.

No one else was assigned to him.

Time passed. He was dodging.

Gogin's parents arrived and discovered that their son could not read a single line. The father grabbed his head, and the mother grabbed the book she had brought for her child.

“Now every evening,” she said, “I will read this wonderful book aloud to my son.”

Grandmother said:

- Yes, yes, I also read interesting books aloud to Gogochka every evening.

But the father said:

- It was really in vain that you did this. Our Gogochka has become so lazy that he cannot read a single line. I ask everyone to leave for the meeting.

And dad, along with grandmother and mom, left for a meeting. And Goga was at first worried about the meeting, and then calmed down when his mother began to read to him from a new book. And he even shook his legs with pleasure and almost spat on the carpet.

But he didn't know what kind of meeting it was! What was decided there!

So, mom read him a page and a half after the meeting. And he, swinging his legs, naively imagined that this would continue to happen. But when mom stopped at the most interesting place, he became worried again.

And when she handed him the book, he became even more excited.

He immediately suggested:

- Let me wash the dishes for you, mommy.

And he ran to wash the dishes.

He ran to his father.

His father sternly told him never to make such requests to him again.

He thrust the book to his grandmother, but she yawned and dropped it from her hands. He picked up the book from the floor and gave it to his grandmother again. But she dropped it from her hands again. No, she had never fallen asleep so quickly in her chair before! “Is she really asleep,” thought Goga, “or was she instructed to pretend at the meeting? “Goga tugged at her, shook her, but the grandmother did not even think about waking up.

In despair, he sat down on the floor and began to look at the pictures. But from the pictures it was difficult to understand what was happening there next.

He brought the book to class. But his classmates refused to read to him. Not only that: Masha immediately left, and Grisha defiantly reached under the desk.

Goga pestered the high school student, but he flicked him on the nose and laughed.

That's what a home meeting is all about!

This is what the public means!

He soon read the entire book and many other books, but out of habit he never forgot to go buy bread, wash the floor or wash the dishes.

That's what's interesting!

Victor Golyavkin. IN THE CLOSET

Before class, I climbed into the closet. I wanted to meow from the closet. They'll think it's a cat, but it's me.

I was sitting in the closet, waiting for the lesson to start, and didn’t notice how I fell asleep.

I wake up and the class is quiet. I look through the crack - there is no one. I pushed the door, but it was closed. So, I slept through the entire lesson. Everyone went home, and they locked me in the closet.

It's stuffy in the closet and dark as night. I got scared, I started screaming:

- Uh-uh! I'm in the closet! Help!

I listened - silence all around.

- ABOUT! Comrades! I'm sitting in the closet!

I hear someone's steps. Someone is coming.

- Who's bawling here?

I immediately recognized Aunt Nyusha, the cleaning lady.

I was delighted and shouted:

- Aunt Nyusha, I’m here!

- Where are you, dear?

- I'm in the closet! In the closet!

- How did you get there, my dear?

- I'm in the closet, grandma!

- So I hear that you are in the closet. So what do you want?

- They locked me in a closet. Oh, grandma!

Aunt Nyusha left. Silence again. She probably went to get the key.

Pal Palych knocked on the cabinet with his finger.

“There’s no one there,” said Pal Palych.

- Why not? “Yes,” said Aunt Nyusha.

- Well, where is he? - said Pal Palych and knocked on the closet again.

I was afraid that everyone would leave and I would remain in the closet, and I shouted with all my might:

- I'm here!

- Who are you? - asked Pal Palych.

- I... Tsypkin...

- Why did you climb there, Tsypkin?

- They locked me... I didn’t get in...

- Hm... They locked him up! But he didn’t get in! Have you seen it? What wizards there are in our school! They don't get into the closet when they are locked in the closet. Miracles don’t happen, do you hear, Tsypkin?

- I hear...

- How long have you been sitting there? - asked Pal Palych.

- Don't know...

“Find the key,” said Pal Palych. - Fast.

Aunt Nyusha went to get the key, but Pal Palych stayed behind. He sat down on a chair nearby and began to wait. I saw through

the crack of his face. He was very angry. He lit a cigarette and said:

- Well! This is what prank leads to. Tell me honestly: why are you in the closet?

I really wanted to disappear from the closet. They open the closet, and I’m not there. It was as if I had never been there. They will ask me: “Were you in the closet?” I will say: “I wasn’t.” They will say to me: “Who was there?” I will say: “I don’t know.”

But this only happens in fairy tales! Surely tomorrow they will call mom... Your son, they will say, climbed into the closet, slept through all the lessons there, and all that... as if it’s comfortable for me to sleep here! My legs ache, my back hurts. One torment! What was my answer?

I was silent.

-Are you alive there? - asked Pal Palych.

- Alive...

- Well, sit down, they will open soon...

- I'm sitting...

“So...” said Pal Palych. - So will you answer me why you climbed into this closet?

- Who? Tsypkin? In the closet? Why?

I wanted to disappear again.

The director asked:

- Tsypkin, is that you?

I sighed heavily. I simply couldn't answer anymore.

Aunt Nyusha said:

— The class leader took the key away.

“Break the door,” said the director.

I felt the door being broken down, the closet shook, and I hit my forehead painfully. I was afraid that the cabinet would fall, and I cried. I pressed my hands against the walls of the closet, and when the door gave way and opened, I continued to stand in the same way.

“Well, come out,” said the director. “And explain to us what that means.”

I didn't move. I was scared.

- Why is he standing? - asked the director.

I was pulled out of the closet.

I was silent the whole time.

I didn't know what to say.

I just wanted to meow. But how would I put it...

Story 1: “Goodbye!”

After 10 minutes, we open the door for her and go home with the words: “You said, if you’re not there in 15 minutes, then you can leave. 15 minutes have passed. Goodbye.”

- Hello. Is this Sanna?

-Are you her sister?


- Why isn’t she at school?

I hang up the phone and sit for a long time in bewilderment, how can you forget that I am me...

gets baptized) GOD FORGIVE!!!

Story 4: “This is not funny!”

Eh, I remember the five of us were sitting in the office, the director, two head teachers and the class teacher, everyone was torturing us, so that we would confess)) they can’t force us to buy all the locks (by the way, the whole school was out that day - you can’t get into the offices) without evidence and confessions? I remember the stupidest phrase from the class: “Whether you guys say it or not, just be honest! After all, the director knows who it is, he just wants to hear from you” I’m shocked... sometimes teachers think that children are stupid and don’t understand... eh naive! In general, we did not confess, giving the whole school a holiday and a headache for the teachers.

Story 5: "Fingal"

- Who? For what?




- Mom, what are you doing? We didn't quarrel...

The poor teacher had a picturesque picture before her eyes... The toilet, as luck would have it, was busy... And then this little girl runs up to another, slaps her on the wrist and says: “Bye, bye! My lessons are already over, I’ll wait for you.” I won't!"

Download:

Preview:

Story 1: “Goodbye!”

One day we were sitting in class. The teacher told us that if she wasn’t there in 15 minutes, we could go home. After 5 minutes she comes and tries to open the door, and the whole class holds her.
After 10 minutes, we open the door for her and go home with the words: “You said, if you’re not there in 15 minutes, then you can leave. 15 minutes have passed. Goodbye.”

Story 2: "Split Personality"

It happens that we don't recognize someone. Sometimes even friends or relatives. Back in my school years, one story happened... I didn’t recognize myself. I twisted my ankle during training and couldn’t go to school. The teacher is calling. I pick up the phone.
- Hello. Is this Sanna?
“No,” I say for some unknown reason...
-Are you her sister?
“Yes,” I answer automatically, and I’m simply shocked by my answer, as well as by the first one!
But since I blurted out something stupid, I have to blurt it out to the end. Now you can’t say, “Oh, no, it’s still me! I just forgot that Sanna is me!”
- Why isn’t she at school?
“She,” I say about myself, “twisted her leg and will be back in two weeks.”
I hang up the phone and sit for a long time in bewilderment, how can you forget that I am me...

Story 3: "Caring Teacher"

There is one teacher in our school (hereinafter I will call her L.) She is fanatically religious and reads morals to us all the time. One day, during a math lesson, she delivered a long sermon. Then there was this dialogue:
We: - Why are you telling us all this?
L: - How could it be otherwise! After all, God entrusted you to me! When I appear before him, he will ask me, where are your students that I gave you? What will I answer him? Why are you like this? I am obliged to look after you and I am responsible for you before the Almighty...
We sit with extremely serious faces and try not to laugh. After a five-minute pause, she gets up and with a solemn look utters the phrase: “I WOULD SHOOT YOU ALL FROM A KALASHNIKOV AUTOMATIC MACHINE!” ( gets baptized ) GOD FORGIVE!!!

Story 4: “This is not funny!”

And we, students of class 5 "A", are watching how it goes parent meeting... the door to the office is open and we run past, looking in, there are 5 of us, naturally we make enough noise! The teacher couldn’t stand it and closed the door, we were bored, we ran around opening it... she had a fight and a fight, didn’t catch up with us, took it and locked the door. OK. We went to the stationery store, they sold Supermoment glue that glued everything together forever. Why do you think we bought them? We returned to school and poured glue into the key hole))) and for good measure in another 10-15 classrooms as well) and then... we went for a walk, the parents returned closer to the morning (I still don’t know how we got out of there... ) And the next day to school!
Eh, I remember the five of us were sitting in the office, the director, two head teachers and the class teacher, everyone was torturing us, so that we would confess)) they can’t force us to buy all the locks (by the way, the whole school was out that day - you can’t get into the offices) without evidence and confessions? I remember the stupidest phrase from the class: “Whether you guys say it or not, just be honest! After all, the director knows who it is, he just wants to hear from you” I’m shocked... sometimes teachers think that children are stupid and don’t understand... eh naive! In general, we did not confess, giving the whole school a holiday and a headache for the teachers.

Story 5: "Fingal"

My son came home from school with a tattered (not really true) backpack and an impressive black eye. I ask him:
- Who? For what?
- Ahh. It was Slavka who tripped me, I fell, well, I threw my backpack at him... I got him! (face shines with happiness), he punched me in the eye, then I punched him in the nose... Well, we fought...
My son spent another 20 minutes describing the fight itself (an epic battle of the titans), and I, having already realized that nothing terrible had happened, asked:
- So you and Slava made peace later?
The son’s eyes widen, he is extremely surprised:
- Mom, what are you doing? We didn't quarrel...

Story 6: “Children are the flowers of life!”

I heard this story from a teacher friend. primary classes. This happened, it means, in the year when she was working with first-graders. And I’ll tell you that anything can happen to children in class... in general, one child either couldn’t wait to get to the toilet, or didn’t make it, and... peed himself. Well, the teacher, naturally, found a way out of the situation - she called the child’s mother to bring him dry pants, but she had to wash the wet ones.
A few weeks later, this is the situation: a colleague on one floor of the school asks her: “Stay in the corridor, near the toilet, so that the children don’t drop in, and I’ll do it right away.”
It means this teacher is standing in the corridor, guarding the door near the toilet (And it was just recess.) Then a girl from her class rushes and yells: - “Bye-a-aka-a-at.”
The poor teacher had a picturesque picture before her eyes... The toilet, as luck would have it, was busy... And then this little girl runs up to another, slaps her on the wrist and says: “Bye, bye! My lessons are already over, I’ll wait for you.” I won't!"

Why was the dog's name Mumu?

At school I really didn’t like to read, and once we were assigned to read “Muma” by Ivan Turgenev. AND Security Question:
- Why was the dog called Mumu?
I decided to cheat and asked my father. To which he replied with a serious face:
— One small dog was walking on a frozen lake in winter and became thirsty. She started lapping up the ice, but her tongue stuck to the ice and froze. She somehow tore it off the ice, but part of the tongue remained there. From then on she could only moo.

I got the gist, and the next day the whole class was lying down. Our young literature teacher was especially hysterical. From then on I had to read everything myself...
Thank you, dad!

Debriefing

One day, the most beautiful and broken girl in our class, Oksana, was caught smoking a cigarette right around the corner of the school. The times were still Soviet, strict.

The headmistress herself came to the classroom for the debriefing.

- “From today on, the Mongol yoke is introduced for all students in your class!” - she barked.
- “One soldier made a mistake - the whole ten will be executed! Once again I catch her smoking a cigarette - I will deprive all the girls in the class of access to the yard during recess! And this will happen with each of her serious offenses!”

In the ringing silence that followed, while we were comprehending the new rule, a quiet, thoughtful voice was heard:

- “What if Oksana is deflowered?”
To the horror of my friend, the headmistress heard this and screamed: “That means we’ll deprive everyone!”

Our poor girls blushed, not daring to believe their ears. To the general laughter of the boys, the headmistress finished:

- "... the right to attend the school disco!"

This story happened when I was in 7th - 8th grade.

We had such a teacher of Russian language and literature. Veronica Georgievna. She was especially distinguished by her weight (more than 100 kg for sure) and the fact that no one particularly loved her.

And there was one guy who studied with us, who, in general, had nothing to lose. One day he took a coin (5 kopecks) and put it under the tram. After passing it, 5 kopecks. turned into a kind of bun, 7 centimeters in diameter. And before Veronica Georgievna came to class, he managed to place this “bun” on her chair. And then, somewhere in the middle of the lesson, he started to raise his hand. She tells him:
- What do you want?
- Veronika Georgievna, excuse me, please, but you sat on my patch...
Of course, she didn’t understand right away, but when she stood up and saw the bun, the whole class was lying down laughing.

History in first grade.

The teacher reads to the children a fairy tale about the three little pigs. Now she has reached the part where the first little pig is trying to collect building materials for his hut. "So the little pig went to the peasant with a cart full of hay and said:

- "Excuse me, sir, could you give me some hay to build my house?"
The teacher stopped and asked:
- What do you think the peasant said to this?
One boy raised his hand and answered:
- I think he said: “Holy shit! Talking pig!!!”

Theater ticket

In one of the schools, the sponsor provided theater tickets to all students, their parents and teachers. And one of the schoolchildren brings back a ticket and a note from his mother, which says: “Dear Irina Fedotovna, I won’t be able to go to the theater. So I’m returning the ticket to your ass.” The teacher, frowning her eyebrows, did not think for a long time, took a piece of paper, a pen and wrote a reply note: “Darling, Tatyana Gennadievna, I have a ticket for my ass. And this ticket is for you....