The sons from the army can’t find it. Son goes into the army: instructions for parents and recruits. Are there food standards in the army?

“Mothers love their children more than themselves,” said Elder Paisiy Svyatogorets. He is infinitely and incredibly right. Mother's love is a huge power!

No one worries about a conscript as much as his own mother. And that's okay. Unfortunately, the Internet and the media are periodically full of news about how an accident involving conscripts once again occurred in one of our military units.

Then the soldiers in an armored personnel carrier drove through the village and drowned him. They drove the poor conscript into a state of rage and provoked him to commit mass murder, but before the army the guy was calm and balanced. Then just the story of the next soldier who ended this life with suicide will flash on central television. And the young guys can’t be brought back...

Under the influence of such negative influence In the media and on the Internet, many parents are seriously afraid to let their children repay their debt to the Motherland. And even the fact that they are now serving for only one year does not bother them, but on the contrary forces them to take a very balanced approach to the question “to serve or not?” It’s really difficult: not seeing your son for a year, worrying about his physical and moral condition, being left without your son’s support. But the topic of education also arises very acutely.

Many parents insist that the army is a waste of time, dangerous and the possibility of injury/negative emotions/changes in character.

Let's take a little closer look at this serious question for most parents of teenage sons in our country: should they send their son to the army or not? To serve or not? To slope or not?

To serve or to degrade? That is the question…

Let us note right away that we will not be able to clearly give one answer for all parents, since everyone’s situation is different, which means that the approach to solving this issue should also be unique. However, it’s enough just to remember how often in the news Is there really good and good news floating on central television? And how much airtime do they take up? You know the answer: very, very little.

After all, no one is interested in good news. Nobody watches good news, which means that the channel will lose its audience if it broadcasts only good news during the peak activity of its audience. And who needs it? - That's right, no one.

Therefore, our news releases are filled with the most terrible and terrible news that is happening in the country and the world. By the way, I would like to note that not every word reporters say can be trusted. And army news here is no exception, unfortunately.

Do you remember at least one report from Channel One news about a simple rural guy who, having served in the Russian Army, and having received not only the rank of junior sergeant, but also a new Military specialty for himself, after demobilization, got a job as a crane operator in a worthy organization in his hometown? And now his salary is enough not only to satisfy his needs, but he also helps his family in every way he can. What a wonderful helper he has grown up in the family! What a man they raised!

Or another example. A son from a military family, whose parents spent their entire lives serving on the border of our country, has just completed his military service and is being interviewed. When asked by a journalist about how his service was, the boy answers positively and declares his desire to continue serving in the ranks, thereby continuing the work of his parents.

After this, an interview is taken with his parents - active officers Russian Army who did not catch stars from the sky, but quietly and calmly fulfilled their military duty all their lives. And now they tell all the journalists about how proud they are of their child, who Last year has changed a lot and is becoming a real man right before their eyes.

How many more similar situations can be cited to make you, dear readers, realize that such stories do not evoke as strong feelings in television viewers as footage of the bombing in Aleppo or the press conference of the newly elected US President Donald Trump? No one makes such reports, but this does not mean that similar cases do not occur in the country. It does happen! And not one, not two, but tens and hundreds. Are there more of them than negative stories of hazing in the ranks of the Russian army? Definitely yes!

Parents! When you talk about the fact that there is no need to serve, a question arises in us. Why don't you believe in your son? Do you have reason to believe that he will tolerate bullying (which may also be your unreasonable fears)? Or on what basis do you not give him a chance to change his character, become disciplined, change his worldview? Of course, as a mother, you want to protect him from all the dangers of this world, but allow your son to take a step forward, learn to cope with difficulties, make adult and responsible decisions.

Trying is not torture

If there are parents among you who decide to send their child to serve in the army, then we have prepared a useful checklist of how you can influence the placement of your highest son in a good military unit. During a service in which you, as parents, will sleep peacefully, and your son will actually be trained in military affairs, and not provoked and mocked.

1. Study reviews of different military units among your work colleagues, friends and acquaintances whose children are either currently serving or have already served. Additional source reviews can become a comprehensive space on the Internet.
2. Choose for yourself the 5-7 best military units where you would like to send your son to serve and write them down on a piece of paper.
3. With this list and a small gift (or without the latter), go to a personal meeting with the military commissar of your locality, or the one from where your child will be drafted.
4. Meet and have a quality conversation with the military commissar, during which voice your list of wishes for military units (from point 2).
5. A situation may arise that your recruiting station does not send conscripts to the units you have chosen. Then just ask the military commissar what he can advise and what alternatives he can offer?
6. Come to a common denominator in choosing a military unit for your son and do not forget to remind the military commissar about yourself a couple of days before the deadline set on your son’s agenda so that the military commissar does not forget to assign your son to the desired military unit.
7. If the military commissar for some reason refuses to cooperate with you (and, unfortunately, there are such things), then we advise you to contact the head of the distribution point (the place where conscripts are taken from military registration and enlistment offices) with a similar proposal.

Good afternoon or evening to everyone who reads this and can tell you what to do. My son is 20 years old and currently serves in the army. It so happened that before the army he had a mental disorder, he had to be in conditions of harsh communication with people (not in the family), but in educational institutions, then classmates and fellow students, then driving instructors were rude and abusive, and now the army. So now, like a snowball, my nerves are gone. From conversations with him, I hear that he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, they have already told him that we will send him to a psychiatric hospital, which kills him even more. He is afraid that he will break down and something irreparable will happen, and at the same time he doesn’t want to be certified as a psychopath. I don’t know what to do, please help me, tell me how to proceed. Thank you.
Support the site:

Elena, age: 39 / 09/22/2013

Responses:

Lenochka, try to talk to the commander, take a leave of absence. Take your son to a psychiatrist. He can prescribe medications to help him survive. Of course, if your condition allows you to do so. Outpatient.
If not, then understand that health is more valuable than any conventions. This certificate does not go anywhere and does not entail any restrictions.
If a person does not receive help on time, his psyche is more traumatized. Some processes are irreversible. As with any problem, the earlier treatment is started, the more successful it is.

Elena Ordinary, age: 37 / 09/22/2013

Let him not be ashamed to give back for the insult caused. Power has its place in the army. Otherwise it will go crazy.

Leona, age: 25 / 09/22/2013

Lenochka, you need to get your son discharged from the army due to illness, and don’t give a damn about the certificate.
Just imagine that a person was diagnosed with, say, hepatitis, but he does not go to the doctor so that he does not have a certificate! This is absurd. Forgivable for my son, but where do you get such misconceptions? Is he planning to go into space?
A sick child must be treated first; he should not have been allowed into the army.

Agnia Lvovna, age: 72 / 09/22/2013

What about the certificate? He won’t be able to work in law enforcement agencies, that’s all. It is not required anywhere else.
And why do you say “crazy”, you are so insulting to people with mental illnesses, most of whom are mentally competent and not dangerous to society.
From what you wrote, it is not clear what his problem is. Difficulties in service, hazing or his mental disorder. Depending on this, you need to think about what you can do.

Alisa, age: 30 / 09/22/2013

Good evening, Elena!
the same question was asked about. Dimitry Smirnov, he
was the chairman of the Synodal Department for interaction with armed forces and law enforcement agencies.
I don’t remember exactly, but I answered something like this:
First, talk to the commander, he is obliged to take action immediately, and warn that you will contact the military prosecutor's office.
More precisely, look at the blog about. Dimitri, Questions from listeners are listed under each conversation in live. In my opinion, in the program “Conversations with Father”
He says that there is no need to be afraid of anything, but to act. Ask a question live on Sunday at 20-21, Soyuz TV channel, or write to the blog.
Or on radio "Radonezh", I don’t know the broadcast time.

And of course, pray to the Most Holy Theotokos, She leaves no one without help.
Both to God and to the saints.

Father John Krestyankin writes about prayer for children:

Dear in the Lord E!

I received your letter. We pray for you and your sick, suffering sons, but it is very difficult to help you, because neither one nor the other recognizes the only source of health - God. Pray for them earnestly with your maternal prayer, but, of course, do not force them into church - without faith, all the Sacraments are ineffective for a person. Read the canon about the sick about Sasha at least once a week, and pray the following prayer: “God! You know everything, and Your love is perfect, take the life of my sick, suffering children A. and V. into Your hand and do what I I long to do it, but I cannot. Amen." And we will pray, but our prayer is only for your, maternal help.

May the Lord strengthen you in patience."

Agata, age: 50 / 09/22/2013

I see one way out - to look for a person through whom to decide the issue of sending my son home. It's called "committing". Don't delay it, Elena... If something happens, you won't forgive yourself. And it is unknown what consequences there may be.

Olya, age: 26 / 09/24/2013

My dad also had a “certificate”. At the age of 20, he did something stupid to defeat the army. Then, as it turned out, this “certificate” slips over time if the person no longer ends up in a mental hospital. By the way, I have it now in budgetary institution has been working for many years.

So don't be afraid of help. This is not a sentence!

Will the recruit be aware of the conditions of his service?

Much depends on what troops, what region the soldier will be in, what his immediate commanders and the commander of the military unit will be. The situation, of course, is better than before, there is less violence and hazing, but these phenomena have not gone away.

The Mother's Right Foundation, for example, has cases of investigating cases of deaths of military personnel who were (just like that) shot in the army by a mentally ill person or an alcoholic in a state of delirium tremens. Therefore, this charitable foundation opposes thoughtless mass conscription, believing that military affairs should be a profession like all others.

We are going to the recruiting station: what to take with us?

Of course, you need to take with you the usual personal hygiene items - a comb, soap, toothpaste with a brush, a razor, toilet paper, and so on. There is no need to take good clothes and put them on; in the army, a soldier will wear a uniform.

It’s better to take the cheapest, push-button phone that doesn’t cause any envy. The smartphone will be confiscated, if only because it is prohibited to photograph military installations. And this ban, as noted by the Mother’s Right Foundation, not only helps preserve state or military secrets, but also meets the desire of many commanders to exclude unnecessary photographic evidence of violations.

It is worth taking adhesive plaster and other remedies for calluses and abrasions. The legs will suffer first.

Is it possible to express your preferences and choose a branch of the military?

If you have specialized education or skills (canine training, flying club, music education, etc.), which need to be confirmed with documents, you can ask for the opportunity to serve in the relevant units or branches of the military. And it's real. Another thing is that such a decision is made by the draft commission, but then the conscript is sent to a collection point, where this appointment may change.

How to exercise the right to alternative service?

There is still a myth in society that the ACS - alternative civilian service - is a “slope” or an evasion from the army. But this is not so, this is a normal way to pay back one’s debt to the Motherland, and a safe one. Important: the reason for wanting to do alternative service does not necessarily have to be religion. The emphasis should be on the fact that the young man does not want to take up arms, that he is simply a pacifist.

The term of the AGS is 1 year and 9 months. Options for alternative service can be studied, for example, in the legal framework or on the website of the Ministry of Labor, in the order approving the list of types of work, professions, positions in which citizens undergoing alternative civil service can be employed.

At the AGS you can get a job as a nurse, a postman, there are even more unusual options, for example, a reindeer herder or work at a zoo.

True, you won’t be able to choose a job on your own, but education, specialty, qualifications, and previous work experience will be taken into account.

To get into the ACS, you need to submit an application about your desire to take it six months before conscription. The military registration and enlistment office often discourages young people and downplays the importance of the AGS. The Mother's Right Foundation advises to react calmly and not let yourself be broken.

There are also special courses conducted by human rights organizations, where the conscript is psychologically prepared for such “stressful interviews.” If the draft board denies a replacement military service to the ACS, this decision must be appealed in court, and during the period of appeal the citizen is not subject to conscription for military service.

Are conscripts hunted between and during conscription?

Conscription occurs from April 1 to July 15 (spring) and from October 1 to December 31 (autumn). Between calls, no one should be touched, and this cannot influence travel abroad if the person is not listed as a “draft dodger.” But during calls, “hunting” still happens.

In 2017, in Moscow, for example, in Bashkiria, St. Petersburg, and Astrakhan, there were cases of forced conscription; young people were detained, they were kept at a collection point, deprived of the opportunity to challenge the decision of the draft commission. This is illegal, in such cases it is necessary to immediately contact human rights organizations and involve the media.

During the interval between autumn and spring conscription, a citizen can be summoned to the military registration and enlistment office only to clarify documents military registration, but not for a medical examination or draft board.

What to do if a young man of military age is studying at a university or college?

A deferment is given for the duration of their studies (except for correspondence students), and they cannot be drafted into the army from their student days. But if a student is expelled for poor academic performance, he is immediately subject to the possibility of being drafted into the army during the next conscription period.

You can take academic leave during your service. And if a citizen is studying and has the right to a deferment, but the military registration and enlistment office thinks differently, you must definitely seek a deferment, you can do it through the court, it’s not difficult.

Communication between a serviceman and his family: the right to a telephone call is legal

A serviceman has the right to use a telephone every day free time. But usually the order in which the telephone is used is determined by the command. Lawyers for the organization Citizen and the Army argue that allowing people to call home only on weekends is a violation of the rights of military personnel.

If your son does not get in touch, you need to contact the command of the unit (through the military commissariat) and find out what happened.

If you have any fear for your son’s life, it is better to immediately contact the military prosecutor’s office and human rights organizations.

Parents should know that by order of the Ministry of Defense, when conscripts arrive at a military unit, the commander of the military unit sends a letter to the parents of the military personnel, which indicates the telephone numbers of the commander of the military unit, political officer and other commanders.

If such a letter has not arrived, you can write an appeal to the commander of the military district through the Internet reception, and also receive the mobile phones of the political officer and other officials of the military unit when visiting your son in the military unit.

What to do if a soldier gets sick?

Soldiers often receive poor quality medical care. In this case, it is important to urgently contact the military prosecutor’s office, higher command or a human rights organization.

Last year, several families contacted the Mother’s Right Foundation whose sons died in the army from pneumonia, which was not treated there, and the servicemen were called “malingerers.”

In such proceedings, the fund is faced with falsification of medical documents by the military.

Therefore, if your child gets sick in the army, you need to monitor the situation very carefully and immediately go to the child’s unit or hospital.

If your son complains about the inattention of the medical staff or feels unwell, and military doctors assure that “everything is fine,” believe not them, but your son.

Are there food standards in the army?

There are nutritional standards, but they are not always followed. If it is impossible to eat in the canteen, you should contact the military prosecutor's office and higher command. According to current practice, after complaints the situation changes for the better.

What should a soldier do if he is a believer?

Military personnel of different faiths serve in the army. If the leadership itself is a believer, there may be, for example, a chapel, a special room, and so on on the territory of the unit. But the service initially imposes a number of restrictions. It is unlikely that anyone will allow a “military unit” to go to the temple for a procession of the cross, for Kurban Bayram, and so on. It is also worth studying the information from the ROC MP department on interaction with law enforcement agencies and the armed forces.

Recommendations from psychologist Irina Garbuzenko:
It’s better to prepare mentally in advance. Don’t tell your son that this will be a prison and that he will have to “endure.” Better discuss how to use this time more usefully. Quit smoking, for example.
Set your son up so that he does not participate in any bullying, on any basis. You cannot succumb to the herd feeling in other impulses, from the series “let's all get tattoos together” and so on.
A young man should find a friend or two in the army. Mutual assistance, interaction, team play are very important.
A serviceman should not sign any documents without reading them.
Do not give in to the pressure “The Motherland is asking you to go and shoot.” Do not give in to the provocations of your colleagues. “Let’s go for a walk, we have money, they let us go” - don’t agree to dubious ideas. Don’t refuse directly, but refer to something: “Guys, it’s a great idea, but I can’t, my stomach is churning, there will be problems along the way.” That's better.
Parents should listen to their son's signals. Sometimes they behave like little children during this period. They speak not about themselves, but about others, indirectly. Like in kindergarten: “Mom, one boy was hit, and I cried.” Parents should unite in a chat, on WhatsApp, this will help solve problems together.
The young man needs to convey as much information to his family as possible, by any means. Through friends' mothers and so on. Do not be afraid to ask for yourself if it is within the framework of the law and regulations.
Agree with your son about secret symbols in correspondence and SMS. For example, a colon means “come urgently,” a semicolon is also some kind of signal, etc.

Thanks to our experts INEronica Marchenko, Chairman of the Board of the Mother's Right Foundation, and Arseny Levinson, lawyer of the human rights initiative “Citizen and the Army,” for assistance in preparing the publication and answers to the most popular disturbing questions of mothers and conscripts.

Do you have a favorite?
Do you have friends?
But you also have
Which is all alone.

In the heat and bitter cold,
In a storm, or a blizzard,
Waiting for your darling,
Waiting for news from you.

Everything about you is interesting to her,
She wants to know everything.
After all, you are her blood,
You must understand everything.

Forget old grievances
Keep your soul warm
Remember what she gave
How hard it was for her.

I know how a mother feels when her son is drafted into the army. Lots of conflicting opinions. But do we have the moral right to hide our sons behind our skirts? And what kind of man is this who didn’t serve? The myth that the army spoils our guys is a myth. If a son has kindness, responsibility, commitment, integrity, then no army will remove this from his soul. But if a child is not morally stable, weak, aggressive, then even without an army he will go down the wrong path. I wrote this article a long time ago, when my son was in the army. Now we're all behind us. My son has been at home for 5 years now. But the topic has always been and will always be relevant. That’s why I decided to post it on this project as well. Maybe someone will need my advice.

My son is in the army in the ranks, but how can I help him?

It happened, and the most dear and beloved person in your life was taken into the army. I, mother, as my son said, am “experienced.” He served and is already home. How many more of them were there, are there and will be?

You often hear the following words: “There’s nothing to do there” or “there’s hazing, lawlessness and they’ll definitely maim him there, kill him and I’ll die with my bones, but he won’t go into the army.” You tried your best, but it was all in vain.

And now, the child is no longer a child, but a young fighter, you are an inconsolable mother who sheds tears over a photo of her beloved child. But this is not what you need to spend your energy on, but still make every effort to earn money on the side, borrow if necessary, take out a loan from a bank, or whatever, just to go to the oath of office to your son. Believe me, he will appreciate it and will be the happiest fighter in the world.

How much pride will he have to flaunt in front of a person close to him all those qualities acquired during the period of training for the oath.

I was sworn in. It so happened that we had to walk in front of the line of guys, each find their son, and stand on the opposite side of the corridor (the oath took place in the corridor of the barracks, it was almost -30 degrees Celsius outside and everything was numb from the frost). When I passed, I peered into their faces, it seemed to me that this line was so long, the guys were almost all alike and they all peered so carefully into our faces and each looked for their mother and even seemed to ask: “Are you not to me?". And when I arrived home, I not only did not regret the money spent, I even calmed down and began to decorously wait for my son.

It made me feel better because I knew where my son ended up. We were greeted decently and shown how to serve and under what conditions. Let it be feigned, ostentatious. But I saw and touched the place, climate and atmosphere in which my son found himself.

For me it was the main task- after taking the oath, bless him, and if possible, then take my newly-made soldier to the temple of God and receive the blessing. Even if your son was a zealous atheist, still do not forget to bring your son a simple pectoral cross and bless him yourself.

By the way, now in the army this is not prohibited and you can go to church before sending your son. And the pectoral cross is not taken away from the guys. And if you bless the child for a righteous cause (service to the Fatherland), then he will serve with honor and will definitely return home. The main thing is to sincerely believe in it yourself. And this faith will help you wait calmly and not bring trouble to your son. Or maybe your mother’s strong faith will save him and protect him from harm. Moreover, the conversation with the priest gave his son some kind of peace of mind. Next, I asked him to continue to come to the temple every time he was fired.

What else did I do when I arrived for the oath? I bought him socks, and I sewed extra pairs of socks under the lining of his peacoat, and he calmly carried them “without fawning.” And when the old men began to wool the young people, after they returned to the unit, they did not find them from my son and, naturally, did not take them away. And this cunning trick helped him continue to hide his socks from everyone.

Then, simply wearing mittens, my hands froze, but according to the regulations and the year of service, gloves are not required. What did we come up with? I sewed gloves into mittens. I sewed the elastic of the gloves to the elastic of the mittens, and also sewed the fingers so that they would not come out of the mitten when removed from the hand. It turned out very comfortable, practical and warm.

Next, I made two secret pockets on the peacoat, under the lining, where cigarettes and a number of other small items that, according to the regulations, a soldier was not supposed to have, could safely fit. Oddly enough, there is even a provision for statutory and non-statutory cigarettes.

What are our guys trying to do first? They send letters to all relatives, friends and acquaintances with the address of the service. Why do you think they do this? Naturally, I hope to receive letters, many letters. But we often think that this is not the main thing; it is enough that we call the guys. Nowadays even many fighters have mobile phones.

Oh, how deeply we are mistaken. Write letters to your sons. I wrote every other day. I didn't wait for an answer. I wrote everywhere I could. As soon as I had a free minute. I wrote everything, wrote about everything. And I asked him only one thing, to respond to my letters. Let there be only one sentence. And if you hear a voice, then you can understand how you are feeling from it, but you can learn much more from your handwriting. You will laugh, but for me it was important. He sent me drawings and poems that they write in their albums.

I tell him my finds on the Internet. Also poems, pictures and all sorts of, at first glance, nonsense.

But what is most paradoxical is that the closer to demobilization, the less often they write. But they, too, are gradually receiving fewer letters. Friends are often the first to stop writing, then the girlfriend (nowadays girls rarely wait for their boys), which leads to psychological breakdowns in the guys.

Before the army, we just need to hammer into the guys’ heads that loyalty to their beloved is not the main thing. And if this happens, and she didn’t wait, then this is not a reason to commit madness, which means it was not love, but infatuation. True love is yet to come and he still doesn’t know anything about it.

Now everyone is looking to serve close to home. I assure you that this is very difficult. Not only that, the son himself insists that you come to him, like to a pioneer camp, every day off. And this will not give you peace, but on the contrary, you will live in terrible emotional tension for the entire two years.

Now, according to the law, a soldier is entitled to leave. I did my best to ensure that my son did not come. Firstly, in his second year he will want to go home less. Plus, he'll be back a month early. And it will be cheaper for you if you find an opportunity and go to your son yourself during the service. I went twice.

Instead of going to a resort on vacation, we went exactly to where our son was serving at that time. We took him for a week and rested together, exactly where he serves. Believe me, we were interested. We visited the sights, I had a barbecue, went fishing, (he served in Karelia) I organized a real, good bathhouse for him and in general there was a lot of interesting things even from communication. We talked a lot. And when we left, the memory of this meeting warmed our souls.

Now I will focus on what we send in parcels. There are some parents who manage to send their precious child alcoholic beverages and perishable foodstuffs. There are a lot of all kinds of sweets, etc., but they completely forget about the main thing - vitamins, any kind, and the more, the better. This is not prohibited and is very useful. And it’s unlikely that anyone will covet such a message.

Next, cold medicines, tablets that will help our dear soldier avoid hospitals and dubious treatments by a paramedic. Unfortunately, no matter how comical it sounds, this is not an anecdote, but a true story, the bitter truth and the problem of many of our military units - when they have one cure for all diseases. Next, I sent an ointment, like “House Doctor” or something else, that would help in time to prevent all kinds of suppurations and boils that our children suffer in the army.

She constantly supplied him with antifungal and foot care products. After all, our tradition of keeping the soldiers’ feet in tarpaulin boots and foot wraps, according to the regulations (it is completely unclear for what reason and in what kind of year this law was written) spoils the feet.

Naturally, hygiene products were sent in immense quantities. At first I sent the same thing as everyone else. And someone was always stealing a tube of toothpaste, soap, etc. And as soon as she started sending me good shaving cream, toothpaste of good quality and not the same as everyone else’s, these problems ended.

It’s just a pity that no one told me this before. Therefore, I decided to write all this and help with my advice to everyone who has to endure the pain of separation and expectations of our family and beloved children.