I feel like nothing. Low self-esteem - “I’m worthless” What to do if you feel worthless girl

Low self-esteem - “I am worthless.” What to do about it?

If many talented people had not had their self-esteem low, had not been trampled and distorted (often even in childhood) - they would have achieved much more in life and would have given the world many more benefits!

Low Self-Esteem is one of the first and most powerful obstacles on a person’s path to Success and Happiness! Often a person doesn’t even realize that his self-esteem is low and he could do a lot more!

It is especially difficult to live and enjoy life for people who were bullied throughout their childhood - “you’re a loser”, you’re worthless”, “nothing good will come of you”, etc.

You need to get your self-esteem in order! Make you strong, positive and invulnerable!

Low self-esteem/I'm worthless. What to do about it?

Most people, even to a first approximation, do not understand how much their life, their state of happiness, everything they achieve and potentially can have, directly depends on their self-esteem.

The essence of self-esteem is the attitude towards oneself: is it negative or positive? Does a person believe in himself or not? Does he respect or despise? Is he weak and vulnerable or strong and invulnerable?

Let me remind you that if a person does not believe in himself, he will not even dare to dream of achieving any significant goals and peaks in life. If he doesn’t respect himself, doesn’t love himself, he won’t even give himself the right joy and happiness and will bypass all opportunities to become happy.

Even if a person has great, high life goals, but he has low self-esteem, he will never achieve them if he does not level up his self-esteem, learn to love and respect himself, appreciate and protect his dignity and life values.

Low self-esteem, a feeling of one’s own insignificance is one of the first and greatest obstacles to one’s happiness and success in any field, no matter what it concerns. Because like attracts like: the worthy attracts the worthy, the insignificant - the insignificant!

What is low self-esteem and the “I’m worthless” program?

Low Self-Esteem is an inadequately negative attitude towards oneself, one’s soul, body, and destiny. And this negative attitude is always somehow justified, but the problem is that in these justifications there are a lot of errors and extremes (misconceptions).

- this is: A) A negative attitude towards oneself(dislike, self-hatred) B) Lack of self-confidence C) Vulnerability, dependence, weakness(not the ability to protect yourself and your Honor, what is dear)

It is common for people who have low self-esteem not to see or recognize their merits (good qualities, achievements, etc.), and to greatly exaggerate their shortcomings and problems, blaming themselves for them, saying to themselves: “I’m bad”, “I’m a loser”, “I’m worthless”, “I won’t succeed” and so on. This attitude towards oneself is self-deception and absolutely unfair! This will not lead to anything good except the destruction of yourself and your life.

A person who does not see and does not recognize his merits is doomed, he has nothing to rely on in life, he has no self-respect, he will not retain anything worthy and will not be able to protect it. In addition, people with low self-esteem are almost always sufferers; they fill their souls with the negative energy of suffering, worries and pain, since they are internally confident that suffering is their fate, and they will not see happiness.

But in fact, they simply receive what they believe in, what they have cultivated and strengthened in themselves all their lives - "To each according to his faith...".

Where does low self-esteem come from?

Most often this is the result of upbringing and parental programming. On the one side, children copy the programs, beliefs, attitudes, lifestyles of their parents and loved ones. That is, if a mother, for example, has low self-esteem and regularly eats herself away, then the daughter, most often, will have the same internal inclinations and habits.

On the other side, parents and those who most influence the formation of the child’s personality (including teachers at school) often themselves, unconsciously or purposefully, form low self-esteem in the child, calling him bad words like - “You’re stupid”, “You’re mediocrity”, “Nothing will come of you”, “You’re disgusting”, etc.

And if such negative seeds were sown in childhood, during the period of upbringing, then the person himself, as a rule, finishes himself off, screws up, castigates, blames and destroys. And if this process is not stopped in time, the negativity grows on itself like a snowball, bringing destruction, failure and suffering to a person.

Therefore it is very important: 1. Stop the process of self-destruction and self-underestimation. 2 Start removing negative programs - the basis of low self-esteem. 3. Build a strong positive self-esteem that is invulnerable in all respects.

Esoteric reasons. It happens that the Soul already comes into this life with low self-esteem, which was broken in a past life, and the task is to rebuild its self-esteem, dignity, self-confidence, to revive it from the ruins. In this case, you need to work on yourself very carefully.

How to remove low self-esteem and feelings of insignificance?

1. Start with a positive - build self-respect!

2. Eliminate negativity towards yourself.(negative names and attitudes) and replace it with a positive one(beliefs that will give you strength and joy).

Exercise: 1. Divide a sheet of paper into two equal parts vertically. 2. On the left side of the sheet, in a column, write down all the negative names, name-calling, words that others called you and those that you called yourself. 3. On the right side, opposite each negative name, find and write a worthy, positive replacement, how you ideally want to treat yourself. And preferably with justification.

For example:

• I'm nothing - replacement - I am a worthy person because I work on myself, I have a lot of positive qualities, others respect me, etc.
• I'm mediocre - replacement - I am a Soul and I have enormous potential, I have talents and I can do a lot of things!
• I am a loser - replacement - I am a strong person who is striving for success and is constantly learning. All successful people went through a streak of failures, obstacles and even shame, they were able to overcome this black streak with dignity, and so can I!

Believe me, if you complete this exercise efficiently and sincerely (maybe even in 2 or 3 passes), you will immediately feel a surge of energy, an increase in positivity and self-confidence.

3. Start revealing love for yourself and your Soul!

4. Additional recommendation. Especially during the period when you will be working on yourself and your positive self-esteem has not yet strengthened, and your negative self-esteem has become aggravated - limit your social circle. Communicate only with those who respect and support you. And try not to communicate with those who undermine your self-esteem, who treat you negatively, try to humiliate you, destroy your self-confidence, etc.

And when you feel strong, when your positive self-esteem gets stronger, you can start training it to be invulnerable when dealing with such people :)

It must be said that the topic “How to build enormous self-confidence and confidence” deserves a separate article and even a book - and we will definitely consider this topic!

One of the main problems that comes up in my consultations sounds something like this: “Why can’t I do anything?! Why am I such a nonentity, a slanted, incompetent, stupid, slow (and any negative epithet)?..” And in these words there is often so much bitterness, resentment and despair that, with all the sincere desire to console and support, you involuntarily ask the question: “How did the man sitting in front of me, a fully grown man, achieve what he has - and he has quite a lot - if nothing works out for him and he is who he said he is?..” The trouble is that, getting stuck on such self-flagellation, a person wastes a colossal amount of mental energy that he could direct into more productive direction. What forces him to do this?

We all come from childhood and our adult difficulties are overwhelmingly parental echoes. Yes, in my time they protected us from danger and helped us interact with the world precisely at that age level, but when we grow up, the guidelines given by our educators become either useless, limiting, or destructive. Some become inappropriate beliefs - about themselves, about others, about the world around them. Did your parents know about this?

Historically, in a civilized society, it is important to have a high learning score, which potentially provides a tighter wallet than an understanding of human existence. Few people know in advance what does it mean to be a parent– this is not taught in schools and universities. Few sexually mature people understand what a child is - the stork does not include instructions for its use. This has been the case for centuries, but attitudes towards children began to gradually change. Lately they have at least begun to talk about the importance of childhood for a person’s future.

Just think about it! According to statistics, only 6% of children are born with the conscious goal of their parents - to bring a new person into the world. The remaining 94% have children to meet someone’s expectations or, on the contrary, to protest them, for the sake of their own health or to preserve relationships... whatever, but not for the sake of the unique life of a new person! Sad picture. Until the very approach to parenting is overcome, psychologists will have work.

Relationships (except business ones, of course) for the sake of profit or achieving some external goal sooner or later become burdensome. For example, if a child is born because everyone said “it’s time!”, then the goal is achieved, and the child remains in her arms. Feed him, my dear, rock him, protect him, treat him when he is sick, develop and train him - there are many tasks, but little motivation. There is no talk of love and care here. This is how the parental attitude is formed " must».

How are things going when we should? Especially without breaks and when you are very tired? At best, through the stump of the deck. In relation to the subtle child's soul, this is often fatal. The parent stops see living feelings in a child and nature ripening according to its own laws. He becomes demanding and irritable, since he no longer has enough time for himself, and now his shoelaces are slowly being tied. I’m not even talking about my own unlived childhood “dramas”...

“Give it here, clumsy! Something always doesn’t work out for you!” the parent hisses in their hearts, leaving a crack in the child’s soul and dropping into it the seed of conviction of their worthlessness. Gradually, in this crack, which a parent or another adult will widen more than once, a weed of feelings of inferiority and inferiority, toxic with feelings of guilt and shame. Especially when the requirements do not correspond to the child’s age. After all, the main thing is to get rid of this worry!

For a parent, these are just words thrown into the hearts, but for a child - the whole world. “The parent is angry. Angry because I'm so worthless that I can't. So I'm bad. They don't like bad people. They leave the bad ones, they are not loved. It's scary because I'm small and I'll die alone“- this is what the baby’s reaction to tugging because of shoelaces, spilled milk or an unclosed tube of toothpaste would look like in my mind. He accepts his parent’s anger with his whole being, takes reproaches completely personally, he believes in his club-handedness, and not because the matter is not going well.

“My parents taught me the impossible: Shut your mouth and eat the soup!” - the child is forced to learn to “jump above his head”, despite his real capabilities. Parental demands take up residence in the head little man a soulless cruel mechanism, feeding on the fear of rejection for failure, which will drive him all his life from goal to goal without a feeling of satisfaction from achievements. After all, the main thing is to do it, no matter what, and better quickly, so that they love you and don’t leave you… Consequences? Perfectionism, loser complex, low self-esteem, the role of the victim, psychosomatic illnesses, loss of meaning in life, etc.

In general, we can end the article here, because then painstaking work begins with this grown-up child to separate false beliefs from his own, proven by experience. A reversal of energy from self-flagellation and self-destruction to creation, creativity, self-love. Creating a real opinion about yourself and your capabilities. To make up for what the parent did not teach - rejoice at your any achievements, notice the pleasure from the process of activity and life in general. Such simple, but so important things that charge you with the desire to live to the fullest.

If an article is reviewed for you, take care of yourself. Reduce the degree of self-criticism - this is not yours and not about you, and sign up for a consultation with me. Together we will do a thorough cleaning of your soul.

Question for a psychologist:

Good afternoon. I am 20 years old. I don’t know where to start, because I want to say so much. Perhaps I should start with the fact that I feel insignificant. That I'm worse than others. Insecure, constantly feeling guilty, ugly, uninteresting, weak. I feel like I’m saying something wrong, behaving wrong, walking wrong, looking wrong, dressing wrong, acting wrong. That everyone is watching and judging. I feel constantly dirty, even though I wash myself every day. I feel negativity in my body and soul, like dirt on my body. Although she didn’t do anything sinful. I'm afraid of everything. I am being treated by a psychiatrist. Anxiety-phobic disorder. I have been taking antidepressants and sedatives for three years now. Plus VSD. I always carry pills and ammonia with me. I'm afraid of fainting (this has happened before). Low pressure. Sometimes there is a feeling of unreality, obsessive thoughts and states always occur. Before going to bed, you need to check everything 5 times - gas, door. Although I remember that I turned it off, I wonder if there was a fire, or something didn’t close completely. I need to control everything so that everything is perfect. I'm so tired of this, sometimes my head just explodes from pain. I'm very suspicious. My parents take great care of me, although what I described is all happening in the soul, no one sees it. They don’t let you go anywhere in the winter after 5:00 pm - it’s dark, there’s no point in wandering around the streets at night. I'm not like that, I don't like nightclubs. But sometimes you really want to go out with your girlfriend or boy. Dad is hysterical about this. Grandmother takes care. When you leave home for the city to study for a week, wave your hand through the window (on the way to the station). I can't live like this. If you come from university, call, if you leave, call. They are very disturbing. They constantly ask how are you, is anything wrong? I can not take it anymore. There are only bad thoughts in my head - what if something happens. I love them very much and I’m afraid of offending them; I’ll say something and the guilt will overwhelm me so much that I can’t breathe.

I don't have a boyfriend, I'm terribly lonely and I'm afraid to be alone. I always sit at home at the computer - either studying or the Internet. I tried to meet people there, but they were either vulgar, swearing, or smoking and drinking. I do not want it. I can't stand it. I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a decent guy and will remain an old maid. I don’t know how to be friends with guys, I perceive every male person as a future guy. And this is already driving me crazy. I am also very afraid of relationships, including intimate ones. I'm afraid that they will offend me, mock me and abandon me, that they will laugh at my inexperience or something else. Everywhere there is a cult of intimacy, but I want to communicate, I want to walk, hold hands. I have never had anything like this, no one looked after me.

I started watching bloggers on YouTube. There is one couple who films every day. They are so beautiful, good, positive, happy. I started living their life. I stopped perceiving myself. I don't feel like taking care of myself. For what? I'm still ugly, no one looks at me. I can’t hear myself over all these videos, advice from family and others. I want to sit down and look at one point, without thinking about anything. But I can’t stop watching the video. It's already like a drug.

Recently I had a heartbreak. I was left without a close friend. My cat died. He was always with me. It pains me terribly that I will never be able to bring him back, return my childhood with him, hug him. He died when I was in the city studying. I constantly remember my mother’s words on the phone - the cat died yesterday. When I imagine that he is in the ground, dark, cold, wet, I feel so sick. I don’t know how to continue to live with such pain. I'm afraid of losing my loved ones. I wrote this and now I’m thinking, what if it really comes true because I said it? I'm very tired. I have no one to talk to. I often take Corvalol because it’s hard to breathe and I can’t calm down at night, not cry and fall asleep. Sorry for the confusion, it was very difficult for me to carry this inside myself.

Psychologist Alexander Evgenievich Zhuravlev answers the question.

Hello, Inna.

Thank you for your candid letter. It's probably really hard for you.

In general, a cool letter, where every question seems to contain an answer.

I `m ugly! - So be beautiful!

I'm worse than others! - So be better than others!

I'm afraid of everything! - Be brave!

Inna, I have some questions for you.

Were you often bullied as a child? Mom and Dad said to you: “Where are you going, daughter, to play with other children! You’re scary here, and they’re so handsome!!!”

Do your parents take care of you only in winter, when it gets dark early? Or in the summer too? But after 22 hours!)))

You need a decent guy - this is class. But with your anxiety states, obsessive-compulsive manifestations, fears and strange self-esteem, it will not be easy to find such a person.

Tell me, did you ever have a boyfriend? If so, how was the relationship built? Was it love or just like that?

And friends??? Were there (or are there) friends? How have you generally built relationships with your peers throughout your life?

What do you love most? What are you most afraid of? What are your cherished dreams?

How do you see your future and how would you like to see it???

This is how easy it is to help in a letter to a person who::: ATTENTION:::

Observed by a psychiatrist;

He listed (in the form of a self-diagnosis) five of the most serious neuroses and psychosomatic disorders;

He says to himself that “I am insecure, I constantly feel guilty, ugly, uninteresting, weak”;

Moans from the attention of relatives, calling it “overprotection”, etc.

(I continue the phrase) is not possible.

But I will try to do something.

Tell me, can talking about philosophy and looking for an idea work?

Well, let's say, banal things like “life is a precious gift from God” or “look around - there are a lot of really unhappy people in the world”! A?

Are you generally a believer? Honestly, it would be good for you to “clean up.” But not physically (this theme sounds very vivid in your letter), but energetically, or something... It doesn’t matter whether in church, at yoga classes, in the park, looking at the heavens, listening to your favorite music, and so on. Cleanse yourself energetically - track and remove from your head everything that prevents you from moving into the future!!! And these are, first of all, your thoughts and your strange beliefs.

Eliminate ALL CRITICAL CONCLUSIONS AND THOUGHTS, all dogmas and attitudes of a critical nature, everything in which resentment is heard - resentment against the world, parents, oneself, etc.

"I `m ugly". "I won't succeed." “All the guys are vulgar, and the non-vulgar ones are not interested in me.” "I am guilty". "I'm offended." I can continue ad infinitum.

All this in your head can be replaced with ONE or TWO key phrases-ideas or affirmative settings:

“I forgive you all for not being what I would like you to be. And you will forgive me for not being what you would like me to be.”

“Thank you for making me understand better and now I know what to do!”

This is described in more detail in the book that you really need: Louise Hay, “The Power Is Within Us.”

And in general, any book by Hey is a real gift to people with a story like yours. And (for some reason I’m sure) all your troubles will go away. Even of a somatic nature.

You revel in your problems too much, Inna. This too, excuse me, is visible to the naked eye. I read it carefully, but I didn’t find one thing anywhere: have you ever tried to fight? Without the help of specialists and doctors! What did you even try to do?

VSD? Cardiovascular issues? Breathe heavily? So, Inna, this is quite easy to treat.

You are 20 years old. Have you tried physical exercises and basic home physiotherapy in the form of a dull contrast shower?

Now, if you need to start somewhere, it’s with this!

Something I don’t like is that you are “addicted” to psychiatry and drug therapy.

Try what I recommend. Maybe it will get better?

You wrote absolutely nothing about HOW EXACTLY you live! You are working? Are you studying? What is your daily routine?

I will act at random!

1. Daily routine. IT MUST BE REINFORCED CONCRETE! Get up and go to bed at about the same time. You should sleep no less (preferably and no more) 7-8 hours.

2. There is no need to jump out of bed immediately after waking up. You should have a little “play” - three to five minutes, when you just lie down with eyes closed, but without sleep. At this time you BREATHE: inhale for 1-2-3, exhale for 1-2-3-4-5, mentally saying “good morning, Innusya”! Exactly!

3. Go to the kitchen and calmly drink a glass of water.

4. Shower. Necessarily! And start with a comfortably warm one. You have to warm yourself up, followed by five seconds of cold (or tepid) water. Then it's warm again. The cycle can last as long as you like. But you must complete this physiotherapeutic procedure with WARM water!

For psychology, I’ll add: a great way to set yourself up is to say an old and very nice saying-mantra while taking a shower: “As water is off a duck’s back, thinness is off my back (poverty, emptiness, etc.)!”

It works! Yes!

5. Just after the shower - 5 minutes of physical warm-up.

Everything should be very comfortable. My scheme (specifically for VSD nicknames):

1 minute - jumping;

2 minutes - calm squats at a slow pace. These are 3 sets of 10 squats with pauses for rest.

1 minute - push-ups from the floor “on your knees”. That is, you stand on the floor on your hands and knees (on all fours) and do push-ups. that's all! Three three times five push-ups!

1 minute - any abdominal exercises on the floor.

Everything is done in a calm, comfortable rhythm, without demanding anything from yourself, but trying your best!

6. Rest 5 minutes.

7. Breakfast (required!): Hot drink + any porridge (except semolina and rice). No bread needed.

8. According to your individual plan.

Nothing particularly complicated or expensive. And the main thing is to start doing it.

Inna! I guarantee your mood will improve. And if the mood is good, then something will definitely work out!

You haven’t written anything about other “sources” of positive emotions, except for this video blog. But if it exists, then that’s good! Still, there are people there that you would like to be like.

So, dear! In essence, a morning like this will DEFINITELY make you much closer to these people, in terms of lifestyle!

But!!! You need to look for other opportunities to “feed” your motivation.

Is there anything else you like besides the Internet? Clothing, music, cinema, theater, books, etc. Search and try!

But you need to start with the most important thing: you must definitely organize your life. You need to develop your own style! And the daily routine and activities for yourself and your loved one is number one!

It feels like I need to quit psychiatry. Unless we are talking about schizophrenia. Everything else, all your compulsive and obsessive “manifestations,” I’m afraid, are only getting worse.

You definitely have neurosis. It must be treated, including with medications. But, following your story, everything is not very successful so far. Conclusion: we need to change therapy, methods and (or) doctors!

Hold on!!! Everything will definitely be great if you write to us regularly and put into practice at least something of what, in general, highly qualified specialists advise.

4.4268292682927 Rating 4.43 (41 Votes)

Greetings, dear readers! Sometimes a person is faced with too many problems and he is unable to cope with them. What to do if you feel worthless? What to do when everything falls out of hand and nothing works out? Maybe this is just another stage in life? Or is it better to consult a psychologist with a similar problem? Today I would like to talk to you about failures in life, why it can be difficult for us to cope with them and how to change it.

Just a period

One day a client came to me in terrible depression. She considered herself the most unfortunate and worthless person. Her personal life was not going well, she was fired from her job, she had no hobbies, no friends. The man saw no meaning in anything. And gradually this feeling pulled her in so deeply that the girl fell into a terrible depression.

During our work with her, we found out that similar feelings overwhelmed her during her graduation from university. Then she had a similar period when she broke up with her boyfriend. The girl panicked catastrophically before any changes, was too critical of her failures, it was difficult for her to gather her strength, she did not see or know her strengths.

Why is this happening? I am sure that there is not a single person on earth who could be called insignificant. Each of us has unique characteristics, has a specific purpose, so to speak. And if you are currently experiencing a period of apathy, then don’t worry. This can and should be fought.

And there were stages in my life when I gave up and didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t see any future and didn’t understand at all what I was doing here and why all this. The main thing is not to make a universal problem out of this. If you get hung up and worry, you can easily fall into depression. And sometimes it’s not so easy to get out of this state.

If now you are worried about the lack of meaning in life, you cannot find your place, you do not understand where you are going and why, then I recommend that you read the article “”. Surely in it you will find the words you need that will help you look at the situation from a different angle.

Two sides of the same coin

I had a friend who at one time fell into a terrible depression. His business collapsed, his wife left for his best friend, leaving him nothing, he got into terrible debt. It would seem like excellent ground for giving up. But no. He gathered his strength and pulled out necessary lessons and within two years he was at the top again.

But what's stopping you? How to stop blaming yourself? People tend to exaggerate their shortcomings. Give yourself some freedom. Allow me to be wrong. Don't criticize yourself too harshly. Be kind to yourself, because if not you, then who?

Try to abstract yourself from yourself and describe the person you see. What is he good at, what does he do better than others, what can he be praised for, what can he be an example of. Describe yourself as if you were the hero of a novel.

Besides, you should never stop. Movement is life. It's always worth doing something. Be busy with something. Firstly, in business there is not so much time to constantly think about your failures. Secondly, small successes attract major successes.

Changing your attitude towards yourself or a situation can be difficult. In order to make your task easier, I have a special article - “”. Start small.

Ask for help

No one will ever tell you how to live correctly, what to do to avoid failure, how to never make mistakes. Remember - life is yours, and only you decide what and how it will be arranged.

But sometimes there is no way to cope on your own, you don’t have enough strength, you need support, but there are no loved ones nearby. Don't be afraid to seek help from a specialist.

If you are not yet ready to take this step and you are scared, then read Louise Hay’s book “ Heal your life" In it you will find many interesting and useful thoughts that can push you to the right decision.

Book " How to get rid of an inferiority complex"will help you overcome your shortcomings that cause dissatisfaction with yourself.

In addition, I have an article "". In it you will find simple, but very effective ways simplify your life.

You can find help in books, films, and forums. The main thing is that it helps. Of course, a conversation with a psychologist is more effective and productive. After all, he is the one who can figure out the reasons for your mood and apathy. From the outside, he will see your successes.

Love yourself and don't criticize too much. You will definitely succeed!
Best wishes to you!

Psychologist's answer.

Hello, Alexandra!

Let's go in order.

You want to know how to deal with low self-esteem, right?

Start praising yourself, learn to notice your strengths, look positively at your actions.

For example, tell yourself: I’m great for taking responsibility for my life into my own hands and taking concrete steps to correct what doesn’t suit me - in in this case, we are talking about the fact that you turned to a specialist for help.

You know what you want: “I want to live and enjoy life.” Knowing what you want is a character trait of confident people. Make a note of this for yourself!

Next you write that after school you “lost” a whole year. Are you sure you lost it? Try to rephrase this sentence so that it has a positive meaning. Perhaps you didn’t like the specialty you entered? What do you want to become, what specialty do you see as the most attractive for yourself? Matching your inclinations? One on which you can develop your abilities? Perhaps you needed to think about everything specifically, understand yourself, without being distracted by anything? And then this year cannot be considered lost!

You don’t sit idly by, you work – and any work is worthy of respect!

What exactly scares you on the street, what thoughts and emotions appear when leaving the house? How much do they really correspond to the real state of affairs?..

Yes, character traits can be changed, but first you need to accept those that exist and love yourself for who you are now. Treat yourself with understanding, approval, care, love!

You write, you need education. Change the word “need” to “want”. Do you want education? Answer yourself: for what? The important thing here is to want it! I want to because... continue yourself.

“What should I do and what should I do?” Ask yourself what has caused you to maintain a low estimate until now? What advantages have you found for yourself from the current state of affairs? What are you willing to do, what to invest (effort, time, etc.) to improve the quality of your life?..

The process of becoming oneself confident person It will go faster and easier if you read special literature, for example, Albert Ellis “Humanistic Psychotherapy”, Louise Hay “Heal Your Life”, and other books or work for some time on your self-esteem with a psychologist.