How to learn to cry at any moment. Why is it harmful to hold back tears? How to learn not to cry in people

Tears - a person’s natural reaction to a very abrupt, unexpected situation or trouble. People during times of stress or grief may break down and cry. This article contains the best psychological techniques that will help you hold back tears at a certain moment.

Exercise to stop crying

During emotional arousal, psychologists recommend concentrating on your own breathing. You may have noticed that during times of stress or resentment, breathing becomes difficult and quick, and sometimes there is not enough air at all. Control your breathing to calm down and avoid crying. Do you feel like you no longer have the strength to hold back? Lift your chin up a little and take 3-5 deep breaths through your nose, exhaling through your mouth. Imagine cool air entering your airways and filling your lungs. Also, cool water or green tea is great for getting rid of a lump in the throat.

If tears are already starting to appear in your eyes, then try to blink them away. Do not try to wipe your eyes with a napkin or your hands - this will worsen the situation, and you can also rub your cosmetics. Psychologists say that if you close your eyes for a couple of seconds, the tears will go away. In addition, you can use a simple exercise - look first down, then up, and then look to the right and left.

Physical actions - a great way to distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts. You might make a fist, pinch yourself, or bite your lip. This method will help you shift your attention by causing discomfort. Also, if there is a loved one nearby whom you completely trust, then try to take his hand - this really helps a lot.

Hugs - pleasant and effective method to calm down. Walk up to your loved one and just hug him. Then you will feel strong support and also calm your nervous system.

How to hold back tears at an important moment - psychological exercises

Some experts recommend that a person apply mathematical solutions in his head. Repeating the multiplication table or solving just an example - all this helps not to cry at the wrong time. You can also start reading your favorite poem or humming your favorite song to yourself. It is important that the melody or verse be cheerful and funny.

Remember your positive moments in life. Surely you had a very fun day that you will remember for a long time. Concentrate and begin to remember those events that brought you laughter and joy.

Motivate yourself not to cry. Tell yourself how strong you are and there is no need to cry at the moment. Tell yourself that you can handle the situation and that you can control yourself.

Walking in the fresh air, watching your favorite movie or TV series, meeting with friends, reading a great book, exercising - all this will not only improve your mood and calm you down, but will also have a beneficial effect on your entire body.

This is interesting -

It is important to understand that you should not hold back all the time. Sometimes everything that he endures for a long time accumulates inside a person. In this case, tears will only be beneficial.

How to learn to hold back tears - video

Tears are the liquid secreted by the lacrimal gland. They consist almost entirely (up to 99%) of water. The rest is inorganic substances: sodium chloride (this is the basis of table salt - hence the salty taste of tears), calcium sulfate and phosphate, sodium and magnesium carbonate.

Tears also contain lysozyme, an enzyme that gives them antibacterial properties, and oleamide, which forms the basis of an oily layer that prevents moisture from evaporating.

Why are tears needed at all?

They perform several important functions. Tears supply the cornea of the eye, which has no blood vessels, with all the necessary nutrients, clean the surface of the eyeball from foreign particles and maintain the normal functioning of the organ of vision.

Tears secreted to moisturize and protect the eyes are called reflex, or physiological. And those that are associated with any experiences are considered emotional. Scientists have long established a neural connection between the tear glands and the area of the brain responsible for emotions.

So crying is part of what makes us human.

Do animals cry?

Animals definitely produce physiological tears. It is believed that our smaller brothers cannot experience emotions close to human ones. This means they don’t cry from worry. But the more scientists study this topic, the more they become convinced that not everything is so simple.

For example, University of Colorado Professor Emeritus Marc Bekoff mentioned Do Elephants Weep as an Emotional Response? about scientific research that confirms that elephants and other animals may cry in response to emotional distress. In his opinion, this issue requires deeper study.

What about crocodile tears?

Crocodiles actually cry while they eat. But not because they supposedly feel sorry for the victim. Tears are secreted due to excess salts in the body of alligators. And the process of eating food mechanically activates their release.

Turtles, iguanas, and sea snakes cry in the same way.

Is it true that there are different types of tears?

American biochemist William Frey found that emotional tears chemical composition differ from physiological ones, caused by irritation from the caustic fumes of onions. It turned out that the former contain more proteins. Frey suggested that in this way the body gets rid of chemical substances, the release of which was provoked.

This is why emotional tears are more viscous and are more visible on the skin. They may also contain stress hormones and other substances found in excess in the body, such as manganese.

So it's good to cry?

Research shows that people with stomach ulcers and colitis (common stress-related illnesses) tend to cry less often than people without such disorders.

Ad Vingerhoets, a professor at Tilburg University, concluded after extensive research that many people feel worse immediately after crying. But after an hour and a half, their emotional state stabilizes. And then it gets better than it was before they started crying.

Lauren M. Bylsma from the University of Pittsburgh found out When is crying cathartic?: An international study. that people are more likely to feel better after crying that was caused positive emotions, or if tears helped to understand and realize something.

If the tears are caused by suffering or the person is ashamed of crying, he will feel worse.

Also, the condition will depend on the witnesses to the crying. Those who shed tears alone or in front of one person (especially if it was a supportive loved one) felt better than those who cried in front of two or more people.

Why do we cry not only from grief, but also from joy?

Crying is a protective reaction of the body in response to stress. And it can be caused by both negative and positive emotions. It doesn't matter what feelings caused the crying. Tears help the body recover faster from stress.

What is the reason that women cry more often than men?

Mainly with the common stereotype that crying is a sign of weakness. That’s why they simply try not to show tears in public. Surveys show that they actually cry much more often than they think. Just no witnesses.

The lack of restrictions associated with tears in the fairer sex may be one of the reasons that women, on average, live longer than men. More crying means less stress.

Scientists suggest that hormones influence the frequency of crying. Testosterone can suppress crying, and the female hormone prolactin most likely provokes it.

And one more important nuance. Dianne Van Hemert, Ph.D., Senior Researcher at the Netherlands Organization for Applied scientific research, found that residents of more prosperous countries may cry more often, since it is not condemned by society.

Are there people who don't cry?

The lacrimal glands of a healthy person usually produce from 0.5 to 1 milliliter of tears per day (an average of half a glass per year). Stress increases their number, and some diseases reduce it.

For example, dry eye is characteristic of Sjögren's syndrome, an autoimmune disease. Scientists have found that such patients suffer not only from discomfort associated with the eyes. It is often more difficult for them to understand and express their feelings and emotions, resolve conflicts, and establish connections with others. This once again proves the importance of tears and crying.

What if you can’t cry, but really want to?

Try to control your breathing. Take several deep breaths through your nose and slowly exhale through your mouth.
To hold back tears, you can blink quickly.
Try to force a smile while looking at yourself in the mirror.
Take a few sips of cold water, wash your face, and apply ice to your temples or forehead.
Try to switch your attention to something neutral, start looking at some object, remember the multiplication table or the alphabet.
Pinch yourself, bite your lip, but without fanaticism, so as not to cry from pain.
Do a little exercise: wave your arms, turn your head, squat or do push-ups several times, stand for a couple of minutes.
If tears are choking you, try screaming. Usually after this emotional stress subsides quickly.

If possible, it is better not to hold back your tears. Don't rub your eyes, don't cry with your face into the pillow, apply a cold compress to your eyelids. All this will help you quickly get yourself in order.

First you have to get rid of embarrassment. Many people do not cry, even when it is very painful, because they are afraid that they will be judged, that they will think badly, that they will laugh. Observe others, and you will understand that only in childhood, drops from the eyes were something negative; in adulthood, it is a means to get your way, as well as a way to express real emotions. And there is nothing wrong with such manifestations.

Physical ways to make you cry

The easiest way to induce tears is to not blink. Keep your eyes wide open for a few seconds. The surface will begin to dry out, and drops from tear streams will be a way to restore water balance. You can turn away and then raise your tear-stained eyes. But it’s better to practice in advance.

Onions can make you cry. You just have to smell it or cut it. This option is suitable for filming or theater, in real life The smell of this plant will give you away, so be careful. A similar method is menthol balm or “star”. Apply a small amount to the skin under the lower eyelid. The strong smell will definitely bring tears to your eyes, be very careful not to get this substance in your eyes.

Use special drops - natural tears. This is a safe way to even cause hysterics. They will roll like real ones. But to implement this, you will have to step away for a couple of minutes to bury them unnoticed. You can buy such a product at the pharmacy, and it is important to follow the instructions for use.

You can also hurt yourself. Pulling hair from the nose or eyebrows also causes lacrimation. And this can be done in almost any atmosphere, and everything will seem very natural.

Moral ways to cry

To squeeze out a tear, you need to remember something terrible. Everyone has a grudge, a severe shock, the death of loved ones, or something similar. Just replay such a moment in your memory, and tears will well up in your eyes. Of course, it’s not very pleasant to return to that time in memories, but if you really need it, then it can be used. Not everyone succeeds the first time, because the habit of hiding emotions gets in the way, so practicing in front of a mirror will not be superfluous.

And if you don’t want to think about the unpleasant things in your life, think about the films or literary characters that shocked you. Images from childhood especially evoke a reaction. For example, a picture of how Gerasim drowned Mumu can touch the heart and help in realizing his plans.

But the most important thing is not just to play tears, but to be sincere so that people around you believe. Therefore, look for something bad in the circumstances around you, take a closer look, and perhaps the tears themselves will begin to flow without any special influence.

All people cry from time to time. However, there are times when you can and should cry, and there are also times when you need to be able to hold back your tears, but you still cry.

If you are wondering how to control such emotions, this information is just for you. But at the same time, remember that the old stereotypes that tears are a purely female emotional reaction are all in the past. Nowadays, all people cry. This is actually sometimes beneficial because crying balances your emotions and relieves stress.

Of course, there are times in life when you don’t want anyone to see your tears. Fair. You decide when, where and for how long you will do it, right? But if you don't know how to control your tears, then sometimes everyone can see them when you don't want them to.

If you want to know how to stop yourself from crying in the worst situations, here are 13 tips to help you control your tears.

Breathe

Everything is exactly the same as in the movies. Just breathe deeper. Now it's our turn to tell you about it! Focus on your breathing, take long, deep breaths. If you have trouble concentrating and you can hardly breathe due to anxiety, try to focus on someone else's breathing.

Pinch yourself

Crying is always very difficult to control because it is a psychological response to a particular situation. So you can control it by using physical force to create a distraction. If you want to know how to stop crying, pinch yourself. Surprisingly, this will distract you and you will focus on the physical pain instead. However, be careful not to overdo it. All you need is one solid nail prick or pinch.

Tighten your muscles

If you want to control your tears, try tensing your muscles. When people cry, it means they feel passive and helpless. Therefore you should do the opposite. When you tighten your muscles, you will feel more confident and thus will not cry.

Drink something cold

This is kind of a weird tip when it comes to how to stop crying at inappropriate times, but it really works. Your tears are stimulated by the facial nerve. Therefore, all that needs to be done is to stimulate the facial nerve with another sensation.

You need to pour yourself a glass of cold water and drink it as if you were dying of thirst. This will stimulate the endings of the facial nerve and at the same time shift your attention away from the unpleasant news that is about to make you cry.

Step back

It is obvious that there is something in your environment that upsets you. So, if you can, try to get out of this situation as quickly as possible. Try to avoid moments that will trigger these emotions, at least for a while, until you calm down. It's not worth it.

Pay attention to your thoughts

What makes you cry? Why do you cry when you see someone cheating on someone or when your dog licks your face? Perhaps some memories from childhood cause these emotions? Ask yourself these questions so you can understand what's upsetting you. This way, the next time the situation is the same, you will recognize the triggers.

Look away

It may sound and look a little strange, but if it works, why not? Look away, turn your attention to someone else. This may actually help you hold back your tears. Of course, people around you may throw strange glances in your direction, but keep looking around until you calm down. Do whatever you can to help you stop crying.

Physical movements

Don't sit in your chair - this will only make the situation worse. You need to get up and move around, for example, you can clean the room or go for a coffee break. Move, because this is the only way you can distract yourself. Yours the main objective- escape from bad thoughts.

Try to push the lump out of your throat

You know what we're talking about. This lump is causing all the problems. When you are about to cry, you can feel it building in your throat. You need to get rid of this obstacle as quickly as possible if you don’t want to burst into tears. So, take a couple of sips of water, keep some in your mouth and sip slowly.

Don't listen to happy music

You probably thought that positive music would not be on this list, but often these are the tunes that bring tears. It is best to listen to sad music. This will help you regulate your emotions and calm down.

Think about the future

Perhaps you just broke up with your partner or lost your job. If you can't help but cry at this moment, think about the future and tell yourself that everything will be fine. You may be worried deep down, but this will help you look to the future rather than the current situation.

Talk

This may seem a little strange, but when you feel like you're about to cry, just talk to yourself. Yes, it probably seems strange, but it really helps to calm down, especially if you have no one else to talk to. If you have friends, talk to them about how you are feeling. Verbally releasing emotions can prevent tears from escaping from your eyes.

Let it all out

Over time, you will learn to hold back your tears, but at some point you will need to let out everything that has boiled up, everything that you have been hiding inside for so long. There is no point in holding these negative feelings inside yourself. Find a place where you feel comfortable to cry.

Take a warm bath or watch a sad movie. No matter how you want it to turn out, just do it. In the morning you will feel much better.

While it's important to let go of these emotions, sometimes you just don't want to or shouldn't do it. So, try some of these tips to stop yourself from crying the next time you feel like the tears are about to burst out.

First, try each of these methods separately, determine the most effective ones for yourself. And then you can experiment, combining two or more methods; everything will depend, so to speak, on the complexity of the situation. The main thing is not to cry at the most inopportune moment, and this is what you are striving for. Learn to control your emotions when necessary.