SIXTH STAGE OF AWAKENING

Acceptance is, in my opinion, one of the main human virtues that contributes to the achievement of happiness. Acceptance frees your attention from everything superfluous and allows you to direct it to what is really important.

What is acceptance? Acceptance is the opposite of denial, rejection. Acceptance allows accept reality, such as it is, and not feel frustrated that it does not meet your expectations.

Much human suffering is born out of differences between people's expectations about the nature of reality and how that reality presents itself to us.

Our expectations may relate to how people should behave, how we ourselves should be ... We can expect all people to treat us well. We can expect our government to be humane and just. We can expect from ourselves that we will always be healthy, attractive and perfect.

But, our expectations are often not quite adequate to the state of reality. Reality dictates its requirements. Reality acts according to its own laws, not according to our expectations.

Not all people show sincere admiration for us, no matter how good we are. Government workers have the same vices that we are subject to, and do not always act fairly. And we are not perfect, our health and beauty are not eternal.

These are the facts of life from which there is no escape. We can either come to terms with these facts, accept them, since we do not always have the opportunity to influence them. Or we will experience eternal rejection that some things in this life are not the way we would like them to be, although we still cannot influence these things.

Of course, we can influence our health, go in for sports, give up bad habits. But we will not be able to change the fact that it deteriorates with age, no matter how healthy a person is initially.

Banal truths

We can either accept these facts of life or not accept them, creating meaningless suffering. Naturally, the best of these options is the first option.
Someone will think that I am saying terribly banal things. But, as I have noted many times before, many of the most valuable truths are very obvious! Originality is often a property of delusion and confusion. And the truth is simple.

Despite its simplicity, it is not accepted by most people. Remember how many times you felt angry because of those things that you cannot change? For example, because of rudeness on the road, in public transport, or because of the arbitrariness of your company's management.

Yes, people are evil, unfair and act in their own interests, neglecting the interests of others. Didn't you know that? Isn't this an obvious statement? Of course everyone knows about it! But you forget about it every time you yell at someone, get upset because you were rude or treated unfairly.

At such moments, your emotions are a reflection of your reaction of rejection. You seem to be shouting: “I refuse to accept this order of things, I don’t want to, I won’t put up with it, even if I can’t do anything!” In this impulse, you become like a child who was offended by the bedside table when he hurt his leg on it.

Acceptance is a very simple concept within its formulation. "Take the world as it is!" What could be easier? But reality proves that acceptance is not easy to achieve.

The greater our expectations, the more they are divorced from reality, the deeper the suffering and rejection.

We potentially have more power over our inner world than over our outer reality. Therefore, when we are unable to change the world around us, we can always correct our perception of this world, our expectations...

Acceptance is not the same as passive resignation!

Here I want to make an important clarification. Acceptance is not a way of passive resignation to any circumstances, it is not a way to give up and adapt to all conditions.

Accepting reality as it is does not mean resigning yourself to the fact that your husband offends you. This does not mean putting up with a job that you do not like, giving up and silently enduring. This does not mean accepting your shortcomings and doing nothing about their eradication.

Acceptance does not exclude struggle, work on oneself, constant improvement of one's life, improvement of the conditions of one's existence. Acceptance only means that you don't get emotionally involved in things that you can't control. And even if you can influence something, then you do it with a mind free from resentment.

Suppose a colleague is systematically rude to you at work. For example, his rudeness is due to the fact that your salary is higher than his earnings. He envies you and considers it his duty to somehow pry you on the sly. Can you influence the fact that a stranger to you is experiencing envy? No you can not. At least not to your own detriment. You will not give up your salary so that your colleagues do not envy you? People are envious and envy makes them cost intrigues and behave ignoblely. This is a fact of life.

Can you somehow influence the fact that you are rude every day? I think yes. You can just calmly talk to this person, find out what the problem is. One face to face conversation is enough. Even if this dialogue does not contain any threats and is peaceful.

People love to weave secret intrigues, to act on the sly, to play the game in front of the public, but they do not like to act directly, “on the forehead”. And when they are directly asked about their motives, called to account, they experience the shame of exposure, the bitter feeling that you are talking to them about what they avoided to talk about directly. This contributes to the fact that these people lose their desire for unwanted behavior towards you.

If talking doesn't help, then you can take other measures...

In general, you can't influence the fact that people feel jealous in any way.

But you can exclude rudeness in your address in a particular case. It's up to you. Therefore, you calmly achieve this. At the same time, you don’t think, “what a bad person, what a boor, so I’ll show him, he must answer for this!”.

You don't spend the whole evening thinking about this person, longing for revenge. You are the master of your state. You do not allow anyone to manipulate you and influence your mood. You accept the fact that people are unfair, rude towards you as one of the facts of life.

But at the same time, instead of silently enduring this rudeness, you correct the situation in your favor. And do it calmly, without irritation, anger and constant thoughts of injustice. If you can't do that, then it's not so bad. You are not strongly attached to the idea of ​​restoring justice, if it is not possible to restore it.

You accept that justice is not always an inherent property of reality. This is acceptance!

This is where it differs from passive humility, and I have gone into this example at length to emphasize this difference. Acceptance is not the opposite of action!

Acceptance and self-development

Acceptance is a very important property in the process of self-development. Why? Because self-improvement means that your best qualities will develop, and your shortcomings will disappear. But one of the “side effects” of personality development is a strong rejection, a stage of denial.

Denial is a chimera of self-development. And this must be fought. You need to constantly pay attention to this.

Why does this denial arise?

Next, I will talk a little about myself, about my experience with rejection. You may not have that experience, but you may experience something similar. This part of the article will warn you against some things. I have already briefly touched on this issue in the article,. Here I will talk about it in more detail.

When I began to analyze myself, to direct my attention to my own development, I suddenly realized that what I had always considered an integral and uncontrollable part of my personality, in fact, was controllable.

I used to think that emotions, fears cannot be controlled by willpower, and personality cannot be changed. But then I realized that I can become the master of myself! And most importantly, I was convinced of this by my own example. But here a danger arose, which partly stemmed from excessive arrogance.

I believed that I can always control everything. It became my installation, my indestructible credo! And so I refused to accept that sometimes, after my success in self-control, my emotions again took over me.

I felt frustrated that, despite my belief in all-powerful self-control, I was still lazy, nervous in certain situations, losing control of myself. Of course, this has already happened much less frequently than before. Since then I have made considerable progress in controlling myself. But I couldn't full force rejoice in this progress, as I felt disappointed because of my failures.

The very fact that I can't control everything has always bothered me a lot. Because of this, I was angry with myself. I also got angry at other people...

The result of this rejection was that I began to project it onto the people around me. I didn't accept things in myself and, as a result, I didn't accept them in other people. I experienced

frustration that people act on emotions, are prejudiced and do not understand things that have become obvious to me.

My rejection turned into such a form of denial that I began to deny all my previous habits, all my previous life, all my previous experience. I thought “here is the old me - bad”, and “the new me is good”. Yes, I did have a lot of bad habits. But I didn’t think much about what was bad and what was good in my old and new life, and I simply denied everything.

But only later I realized that even in this past life there was a lot of useful and valuable experience that needs to be transferred to a new life, and not to deny it. And after all, there is no past and new life, there is only one of my lives. She may have changed a lot, but it was always me, who did not stand still and changed.

I have changed, I have realized many things, but I am very far from perfect, I can still have weaknesses, I can still experience emotions, which I write about overcoming on my website. It's normal, there's nothing you can do about it. I am working on myself, but not everything is in my power!

Yes, I will fight, I will act, but there are things that I cannot influence.

The same goes for other people. They have the same weaknesses that I have. And they have rights to these weaknesses! People are what they are! Someone wants to change, someone can use my help. And someone will criticize my ideas and deny my experience.

And I can't always influence it!

Such is the nature of things! This is another fact of life that should be accepted! Why should I make something that I can't influence, my own problem and source of frustration?

This understanding had (and continues to have) a very beneficial and sobering effect on me. It was even fatal and marked a whole new stage in my development.

I consider this very important and therefore I try to provide this article with detailed examples.

"Lion Stage"

In connection with the last example from my life, I am reminded of the stages in the formation of a personality that the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche outlined in his book “As Zarathustra Spoke”.

I experienced the great influence of this philosopher in my youth, having read all of his major books. But now my views are almost the opposite of the main ideas of Nietzscheism, for which I am unspeakably glad. Nietzsche's philosophy contains the most dangerous delusions for the individual. My ideas have nothing in common with the sophisticated aesthetic hedonism and egocentrism preached by the German philosopher.

I won't go into detail on this. Let this be the topic of a separate article. This was a necessary remark. Since I am citing an example from Nietzsche's book, I must also briefly indicate my attitude towards his views.

So, the philosopher designates three stages of personality development.

The first stage is a camel. Man, like this animal, hangs tons of weight on himself. Of course, the load is a metaphor. This refers to the ideological load: moral norms, social stereotypes, behavior patterns, ideals. The camel does not ask what exactly lies in those bags that were placed on it. Also, a person does not ask about the meaning of those values ​​that have been "hung" on him.

The second stage is the lion. This stage corresponds to a reassessment of values. The lion is a formidable and aggressive predator. A personality, like a lion, after a reassessment of values, will aggressively attack its past ideals, which society “hung” on it at the camel stage.

He will not ask what is bad and what is good, but will simply mindlessly destroy all this cargo.

This stage corresponds to the stage of denial, which I wrote about above.

The third stage is the baby. The baby looks at the world with a clear eye. His perception is pure and free from stereotypes. The lion destroyed the old ideals, and now the baby can re-learn nature, create new system values.

I gave this classification because I partly agree with it. Only I do not agree with the conclusions to which the philosopher comes. His infant forms a new, bloodthirsty, opportunistic, hedonistically oriented scale of values. My baby is partly returning to the traditional values ​​of kindness, love and compassion and happiness (namely, permanent happiness, not transient pleasure), only he already perceives these values ​​consciously, and does not thoughtlessly “throw” on himself, like a camel.

These values ​​cease to serve him as abstract ideas, but become real, applied experience.

So, I gave an example of Nietzsche's reasoning in order to clarify this article. I want you to pay attention to the lion stage. This is the opposite of acceptance - denial, nihilism. Only in my example, the lion's fury is directed not only at values ​​and ideals, but at the world in general (and yourself in particular) along with all its properties.

You have taken some steps in self-development and have seen what you had not paid attention to before: your many problems and the problems of other people. And suddenly realizing these problems can lead to denial!

You must understand that denial, the “lion stage,” is not the last stage of personality development. I do not want you to think that when you began to notice the weaknesses of other people more than before, when you began to pay attention to your shortcomings, when you began to attack your former ideals with the fury of a predator, then you have already reached the limit of development.

The lion stage is inevitable for many people involved in self-development, so there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you do not linger in it or, even worse, do not stay in it forever.

There is a tempting temptation to constantly feed on an illusory sense of one’s own superiority over other people, to blame their values ​​and ideals, to criticize their behavior, although you yourself have moved away from them by a millimeter step and yesterday you were the same as them ...

As awareness develops, reality reveals many new properties to you. And along with these properties, all the injustice and grief with which reality is saturated begins to appear.

There is a danger of being carried away by the denial of this reality, in connection with your new, enriched understanding of it.

Do not go in cycles in this denial! Know that something even better is ahead of you! Defeat the lion in you!

How to defeat a lion?

How to defeat this aggressive predator inside you? How to learn to calmly accept reality as it is?

Get rid of expectations

As I wrote above, the stronger your expectations, the less they correspond to the facts of life, the stronger your rejection of reality becomes.

Expectations or mental attitudes that prevent you from accepting reality as it is, may be the following:

“I have to be better than others in everything”

The fulfillment of this desire is impossible, because there are no ideal people and it is impossible to be better than others in everything. There will always be someone who is better than you at something. And there is nothing wrong with that, it is normal. This is even good, which is why people learn from each other, share experiences, adopt the strengths of other people.

Both the development of society and personal development are based on the mutual exchange of knowledge and skills.

If you rely only on yourself, believe that you should be the best, then you will suffer, because you will never be able to fulfill this desire. And instead of learning from other people, you will grieve that they are superior to you in some way.

I dwelled on this aspect in more detail in the article why communication is needed.

"Everyone should treat me well"

It is impossible, just as it is impossible to be better than others in everything. No matter how good you are, you are unlikely to win the love and respect of every single person. There will always be people who won't like you. And people who treat you badly are not necessarily bad.

And if someone does not like you, it also does not always mean that you are bad yourself. Each person is a whole individuality. And often the attitude of people towards other people depends on personal attitudes, upbringing, principles, available information, state of mind and many other internal factors that you cannot influence in any way.

The problem of attitude towards you is not always your personal problem! And it depends not only on you, but on the subject who perceives you.

Therefore, it is impossible to please everyone and everyone (more on this in the article). So what's the point in worrying about it?

But a bad attitude towards you is not always only the problem of another person. Sometimes it can show you your weaknesses. And if so, then a bad but fair opinion about you only benefits you, because you can change thanks to it! This is good, therefore, there is no point in worrying about this, again!

"I must always be right"

Every person can make mistakes. And you are no exception. You are not always right, even when you are sure of it. And if you think that the truth is only yours, then such an attitude will prevent you from being flexible, changing your views if they were wrong before, or simply supplementing them.

Each person's experience is limited and therefore opinions based on that experience are often erroneous or incomplete. The exchange of opinions between people should enrich each individual (more details in the article). But this will not happen if you think that your opinion is the only correct one. And you will suffer, because reality will sometimes show you how much you are mistaken. This is normal and should be accepted as a fact and not be frustrated about it.

“I have to prove that I am right to those who disagree with me”

No, they shouldn't. You will never convince some people that you are right, even if you are really close to the truth and are infallible in logic. Therefore, attempts to convince someone of something are often doomed to failure and cause only mutual indignation on both sides of such a dialogue.

Many people will never accept your views and beliefs, no matter how correct they may seem to you. This is a fact of life. So what if the person disagrees with you? Who cares? Even if you suddenly manage to convince him, what will you benefit from this? Often nothing!

“I have to respond to every insult addressed to me”

No, they shouldn't. If your neighbor's dog barks at you, you don't have to bark back at him. The fact that you have been insulted should not create a problem for you. It remains the personal problem of the one who offended you, not yours.

There is an excellent Buddhist parable. Once the Buddha and his disciples passed by a village. People from the village began to insult the Buddha, but he did not react to this. The disciples of the Buddha began to ask the teacher why he did not respond to such vile insults.

The Buddha said, “These people are doing their job. They are angry. They think that I am an enemy of their religion, their moral values. These people insult me, this is natural (My note: If you adapt the last statement to the context of this article, then it can be paraphrased as follows: people are angry at those who trample on their values ​​and ideals. This is natural. This is a fact of life, I accept this fact).

I am a free person and my actions stem from my inner state. Nothing can manipulate me, including other people's insults. I am the master of my own fortune."

In turn, the Buddha asked the disciples, "When we passed by another village, people brought us food, but we were not hungry and gave them back their food, what did they do with it?"

“They must have taken it back from us and distributed it to their children and animals.”

“That is so,” replied the Buddha. “I do not accept your insults, just as I did not once accept food from the inhabitants of another village. I return your resentment back to you. Do with it what you will."

Here, the Buddha's words "do not accept" do not mean "rejection" in the terminology of this article - do not confuse. On the contrary, the Buddha accepts the fact that people can be rude to him. Not accepting insults, he simply does not let them into himself.

"I can always control everything"

No, not all. Life situations can get out of your control, as well as your emotions. Accept it.

“In life, everything should turn out the way I want”

Life exists according to its own laws. And these laws do not always meet your expectations.

"I must always remain joyful"

There are moments of joy and moments of sorrow in life. A person is subject to different states and one state replaces another. It is difficult to always remain cheerful and joyful.

Accept unpleasant emotions when they arise.

This advice may seem strange to those who have been reading my blog for a long time. After all, I always said that you need to get rid of negative emotions, and now I advise you to accept them.

One does not contradict the other and, on the contrary, complements. A person can be at times angry, irritable, prejudiced, envious, no matter how well he knows how to control himself.

Accept this as a fact and don't berate yourself for the fact that at some moments you show weakness, that on some days you are not as collected and focused as on other days.

Everything is constantly changing within a person. One day you can stay focused, be confident, be in a sense of happiness and harmony. The next day, everything will fall out of your hands, you will be frustrated and nervous and, sometimes, you yourself will not know what it is connected with.

Such is the nature of things: nothing is eternal, everything is constantly changing, and we cannot always trace the reasons for these changes. It remains only to accept it as a fact. Today our condition does not meet our expectations: we are tired and irritated. But this is only a temporary mood, like any other. It will be replaced by another state. Therefore, one should not dwell on it, experience rejection. As soon as this feeling appeared, so it will pass.

This is what it means to accept.

"Health and beauty will never run out"

Health is a transient thing, as well as beauty. Accept the fact that these things won't be with you forever. Now you are young, healthy, successful with women, but it will not always be so.

No need to be sad about this, just accept this fact so as not to be disappointed later. People who are too strongly attached to sexual pleasure, the sensual impressions of youth, external brilliance, have great difficulty parting with these things when their time comes.

If these things once formed the basis of their existence, then, having lost these things, these people seem to be deprived of everything. Therefore, I believe that one should not get hung up on these things, but it is also necessary to take care of moral, intellectual, spiritual development.

"There must always be justice in life"

Unfortunately, life is neither fair nor unfair. The concept of justice exists only in the human mind. Justice is not an objective property of nature.

Your young neighbor can live much richer than you just because he has rich and influential parents, although he himself did not lift a finger in order to achieve this position. Everything that you have been striving for all your life through hard work, but have not achieved, your neighbor already has now.

Reality constantly demonstrates to us its inconsistency with human concepts of injustice.

How your life will develop depends very much on you. Much stronger than many of you are used to thinking. But, nevertheless, much depends on chance, on blind arbitrariness, beyond your control.

And instead of thinking about how unlucky you are, with the fact that your life has not turned out the way you wanted, lamenting that you were born in the wrong family, in the wrong country, think about how lucky you are!

After all, things could have turned out much worse. I constantly think about how well my fate turned out, that I was not born in the USSR during the repressions, I don’t go hungry and don’t work for 14 hours at a factory somewhere in North Korea, I don’t go deaf from shell explosions, sitting in the trenches at the front, I don't suffer from any fatal disease.

When I hear about such horrors, I immediately begin to think that I myself could easily find myself in such a situation and I am immeasurably lucky that I have food, water, a roof over my head, health and a bunch of other advantages of civilization. I do not put myself in mortal danger every day, which I am very glad about.

I do not want to bring my reasoning to the fact that you need to put up with everything, not to try to make this world a better place. No, I want you to accept this world as it is, with all its injustice and bitterness, and stop denying the things it shows you.

Strive to make this world a better place and people happier! But accept what you can't control!

People are rude, angry and fixated on themselves. It's a fact of life, accept it. Those on whom you depend do not always follow justice and considerations of caring for others. It's a fact of life, accept it.

Life doesn't always meet your expectations. It's a fact of life, accept it.

Acceptance is not identical to some kind of dull humility, when you understand that everything is bad and dejectedly lower your head, constantly being aware of the imperfection of this world.

No, acceptance means the absence of suffering for an empty reason, the absence of denial, which depletes your moral strength, causes anger and intolerance. Acceptance implies peace and freedom.

The freedom of your state from the negative manifestations of the outside world and from the will of other people!

Voltaire said: "We live in the best possible world!"

All we have is the world we live in. And this world is what it is, and no other world is given to us.

very important to you accept your destiny. What does it mean? First, you need to understand that your Destiny is the greatest Teacher for you. Fate-Teacher asks you questions to which you must find answers, creates situations for you that develop you as a Human, does everything to increase your self-awareness and will. Calls to take your Destiny in your hands and manage it are the calls of narrow-minded people who are not aware of who is destiny and therefore, trying to oppose the great Teacher, leading them through Life.

The wisest way is to accept your Destiny in absolute humility and gratitude.

Humility will give you a state from which you will see all the spaces of the world - both mental and physical ...

In a position of humility, you will acquire detachment and invulnerability, and as a result, you will begin to feel and act better.

In a position of humility, you will cease to be a slave or a master, a victim or a predator ...

Humility quickly transforms your sense of self-importance, all selfishness and complexes inherent in it.

But humility will give you peace, ease and joy. This joy comes from the acceptance of one's Destiny and a truthful and adequate assessment of both oneself and one's own strengths - without exaggeration, but also without understatement.

At the same time, your behavior will become impeccable, and your life will become invulnerable, that is, you will stop being offended, suffering and making claims ... And no one will be able to make claims against you, no one will be able to offend, insult you, etc.

Thanks to your humility, fate will give you Freedom.

Your Freedom will be manifested in the fact that you will be able to do what you must do to realize your Goal, to increase Humanity in the World, Reality. This is your Freedom and your Destiny as a Warrior of the Spirit.

You will merge with the time of your life and you will cease to depend on haste, fuss and slowness. You will do everything at the right time.

You will stop clinging to anything or anyone, i.e. money, power, pain and pleasure, the desire to please.

You will cease to be sad and grieve about your losses and unwanted acquisitions.

You will gain invulnerability to negative emotions, feelings, events and people who are hostile.

You realize that grief and sadness not only do not solve your problems, but also intensify precisely the states and events that are undesirable for you. In addition, the stronger you become, the more destructive your negative states and emotions manifest themselves for the surrounding psychosphere, but first of all - for yourself. For this reason learn to focus your attention on your Spirit, good health and good mood.

Let go of habitual thoughts, words and deeds...

Then neither the feeling of hunger, nor pain, nor despair, nor other sufferings can enslave you.

You will stop wearying yourself, your life and others with your clinging, passions and needs.

Your Freedom will increase your Love for Life, and Life and Destiny will open up unlimited possibilities for you.

Humility is a special topic for me. One of my karmic tasks in this life was to learn to be humble before the will of God in relation to me. For a long time I was a very unhumble person - a kind of fighter who has to constantly fight against life's difficulties. And it must be said that there were plenty of difficulties, there was enough pain and suffering in my life! Of course, I heard the word humility, but I never thought about its true meaning, I didn’t understand the full depth of this meaning at all, and even more so I didn’t think that humility could have anything to do with me.

But one fine day, with the help of the Teacher, this word began to open itself to me. And I realized that humility is what I need. In principle, this is what we all need - anyone and everyone living here on Earth. Now I know that humility is a huge, magical power. Humility has changed me and my life 360 ​​degrees for the better. Life has become easy and simple! I do not want to say that the difficulties and problems have completely ended in my life. On Earth, we will always have problems, because this world was created in order to create problems for us. But the number of problems in my life has drastically decreased and it has become very easy for me to solve them!

So what is humility. Humility is, first of all, to live with peace in the Soul! In harmony with oneself, in harmony with the surrounding world and God. Humility is an internal acceptance of situations that happen to us. Any situation, no matter what areas of life it does not concern.

For example, Ayurveda - Vedic medicine, believes that a sick person has no chance of being healed if he does not accept his illness. Almost any disease can be cured, but only when a person internally accepted it, humbled himself, understood why the disease came into his life, worked through the tasks that the disease sets before him. It is the same with all difficult situations in life - until you accept, you will not change.

How do I know if I accept the situation or not. If I accept, there is calmness inside me, nothing clings to me, does not strain me according to the situation. I think about her and talk calmly. Inside, complete calm and relaxation. If I don’t accept it, then there is tension inside, internal dialogue, claims, resentment, irritation, etc. Pain. The more pain, the more rejection. As soon as we take it, the pain goes away.

Many understand the word acceptance or humility as weakness, humiliation. They say I reconciled, so I sit back and come what may, let everyone wipe their feet on me. In fact, true humility gives a person dignity. Humility and acceptance on the inside are internal qualities, and on the external level I take some kind of action.

Let's look at a few examples:

1. We often face difficulties in personal relationships. In our head, there is a different picture of relationships with a loved one than the one that we get in reality. In our head, both the image and the behavior of a loved one are different than what we get in fact. It is the discrepancy between the desired and the actual that gives us suffering and pain. Often we see the root of our troubles not in ourselves, but in others. Here he will change and I will stop suffering. Remember, the cause of troubles is not in another person or his behavior, the cause is in us and in our attitude towards a loved one.

First of all, we must accept reality as it is. Our reality is created by our subconscious programs and God. We don't really get what we want, but what we deserve. This is how the law of karma works - you reap what you sow. The current reality is sown by us, by some of our actions in the past - in this or a past life. To protest and suffer is stupid and not constructive! It is much more constructive to internally accept reality as it is. To accept a loved one as he is, with all his shortcomings and virtues, with all his attitude towards us. Take responsibility for everything that happens in our life - for events, for people, for their attitude towards us - on ourselves! I alone am responsible for what happens in my life.

This is what we “pulled” to ourselves. These are some of my actions and energies that force the second one to act towards me in such a way that it may not be entirely pleasant for me. Our own karma comes to us through those close to us. And then, rolling up your sleeves, you need to start the inner work. Everything that happens to us here is a lesson. Our loved ones are our most important Teachers. Each difficult situation sent to us not to fight it, but for our education. Thanks to this situation, we can better understand life, change something in ourselves for the better, develop unconditional love, rise to a new level of development, get some life experience necessary for our Soul, pay our karmic debt.

Only after accepting the situation, you can finally start thinking about what is being taught. Why is this situation sent to us? With what behavior and thoughts have we brought this situation to life?! Maybe we are not coping with our role as a man or a woman, developing in ourselves qualities that are alien to our nature? So we must go and learn how to properly fulfill our role. How a man should act in this world and how a woman should act, so that it would be in harmony with the laws of the Universe. I always say that in order to be a man or a woman, it is not enough to be born in a male or female body. You have to become a man or a woman - this is a big life task. And our destiny in the world begins with the realization of this task.

But this is not the only cause of problems in relationships, although it is of course the most global and it is from it that all other problems in gender relations are born. Again, each case is of course very individual. Maybe this situation teaches us self-respect and we should say no to relationships. Or maybe we need to learn to stand up for ourselves, not to let another person insult us, humiliate us and, God forbid, beat us. Those. Having internally accepted the situation, I already defend myself not on the emotions of resentment and irritation, but on the emotions of love for myself and for another, on the emotions of acceptance. Those. internally we have complete calm - and outwardly we may say rather harsh words, take some measures, do not allow ourselves to be offended, put the second person in place harshly. Those. we act on the external level without being involved in emotion, not from the position of the Ego and resentment - we act from the position of the Soul.

When we struggle with a situation without acceptance, everything comes from our emotions and from the Ego. You need to feel like a Soul and learn to act in this world like a Soul, and not like a bunch of egoism. Another very important point Yes, on the external plane we take some actions to change the situation, but we must be ready to accept any development of events inside all the time. Repeat as often as possible that it sounded in you like a mantra - I am internally ready or ready to accept any development of events! Everything will happen as God wants — man proposes, God disposes. We must free ourselves from our leads for the result - they say, I want only this way and not otherwise. Here on Earth in everything and always the last word is with God – and we must accept it!

Another point - often problems in personal relationships are given to develop character traits - perhaps the behavior of a partner indicates to us that we are touchy, jealous, critical, rude, assertive, despotic, we are trying to subdue the second to our will, not taking into account his desires, we are trying to remake him for yourself, etc. So we have to get rid of these qualities. For example, if you are critical, then you should stop focusing on the shortcomings of a person and learn to see the merits in a person, speak kind words to him, praise, and compliment. Every person has qualities for which to praise him - learn to see them!

If you are jealous, you must learn to trust the person and your relationship. Giving your partner free space - he is not your property. And also in this case, you must develop confidence in yourself and your attractiveness. Take care of yourself, correctly fulfill your male or female role. And most importantly, give love to your partner. Jealousy says that your partner is dear to you and you do not want to lose him, but jealousy, as a way of expressing love, is very destructive, because sooner or later it will destroy relationships. Keep in mind, if you are jealous, you are already energetically inviting a third person into your relationship and its appearance is a matter of time.

So with all the other emotions: all that is required of you is to replace the negative with a positive opposite and train your mind for a new attitude towards the partner and the situation.

Relationships are always respect, freedom, love and bestowal. This is service to each other! In a relationship, we should think less about what our partner should do to us and think more about what we should do to him. Since we often have a list of requirements for the second half, we, to put it mildly, do not correspond to this list ourselves! Always remember your area of ​​responsibility in a relationship and think less about your partner's area of ​​responsibility.

Everything starts with you - the right energy will come from you and your partner will also begin to give you harmonious energy. As old as the world saying - change yourself and the world around you will change too. A person who is not humble, instead of changing himself, wants to change the world. This is the trouble, this is the whole root of suffering. And the chest is so easy to open!

2. Or another example. Consider illness. For example, we have a confirmed diagnosis of cancer or any other unpleasant diagnosis. And then people start asking questions - why is this with me, why should I. The fear of death is included. There is a complete rejection of the disease and a run to the doctors - who will save and who will help??!! This is the road to nowhere!!

The first thing to do is to accept the disease. The disease is not stupid, it always comes targeted, because the disease is actually a signal from our subconscious mind that we are doing something wrong. This is a signal that our behavior and our reactions to events are harmful to us. Illness is the appeal of the Universe to us. God tells us through illness - you are violating the laws of the universe, stop! Speaking specifically about cancer, it is a disease of resentment. A person is strongly offended by someone and for a long time bears this resentment in himself. Perhaps for years. On a subconscious level, being offended, we send destruction to the person we are offended by. And this program of destruction, like a boomerang, is returning to us.

A person's resentment corrodes, and therefore cancer - cancer cells, corrode the body. We need to work through the past, forgive and let go of grievances. Accept both past situations and the disease that is now. And only by doing this internal work, we can expect that our external actions in connection with diseases - hospitalization, drugs, surgery and chemotherapy will bring positive results. If we fight the disease, do not accept it, use only external methods, run to various specialists without doing work inside, the result will be deplorable. Because fighting the situation only makes it worse. Here I gave cancer as an example, but we should do the same with any other disease!

True, do not go to extremes - do not look for deep causes in a slight cold. A cold can only mean that yesterday you dressed too lightly and stood in a draft for a long time! Or that you have been working too hard lately, so your body decided to put you to rest. Relax, pamper yourself and go!

But serious diseases already require study. In general, the path to many serious illnesses begins with insults - if a person does not internally accept them, then betrayals are given, if this person does not pass, then illnesses and blows of fate continue. And the more selfishness, the stronger the blows. We also get sick when we do not go according to our destination, we do not fulfill our tasks. When we eat incorrectly. Western medicine says that all diseases are from the nerves, and Eastern medicine says that all diseases are from malnutrition. Therefore, in order not to get sick with anything other than a cold, learn to accept, stop being offended, start living in harmony with yourself and God, do your duty, follow your destiny and lead a healthy lifestyle, eat right! On the inner level, learn to open up and live in complete trust in the Higher Source! In full trust and love! Understand that you are God's creation and God knows what and why he does in your life!

And if you still get sick, then approach treatment and recovery in a complex way. Work on the inner plane and use what medicine has to offer. Work for example with a psychologist and work with a doctor! More than once I met people who follow the spiritual path and believe that a disease can be cured only by internal work on oneself - they say, medical manipulations, medicines are not required. Be reasonable! We are still very far from the level where only internal work on ourselves would yield results.

Do not go to the other extreme: when a person believes that he can be cured only by using external methods - medicine, medicines, etc. For healing, we still need an integrated approach, because when we are in an embodied state, then there is a trinity - Spirit, Soul and body. And a failure on one of these planes indicates a failure on the others! After all, a disease first arises on a subtle plane - from our wrong worldview, thoughts, actions, deeds. And only then does it move to the physical plane. Therefore, it is necessary to treat both the internal and the external - only then will there be a lasting result. After all, it often happens like this - like a person was cured, and after a while he fell ill again. And all because there was no change inside!

3. Well, just a household example. For example, a wallet with documents, credit cards, money was stolen from us - we accept it inside and are not upset, but outwardly we take action: we go write a statement, we do everything to find our documents, wallet, punish the criminal. Only we are not driven by this resentment, anger and irritation. We do not wish another that his hands would wither and no longer grow, we do not send curses on his head, etc. No, we are calm inside - we understand that since God sent us this, it means that for some reason this is necessary. We just calmly do what is required of us, without tantrums and curses against the thief. Again, maybe the wallet was not stolen from us - maybe we dropped it ourselves?

Or let's say we don't have a job - we accept it inside, we don't blame anyone for this: they say the country has got the wrong one and the situation in it. We do not attribute everything to circumstances and do not retire to drink bitter. Yes, today it is - we do not have a job, which means there is more time to figure out what we really want to do professionally. Was the job we did before the job of our dreams? Or maybe we just worked for her to pay the bills? Maybe God intentionally deprived us of this job, so that we would finally go and start doing the work of our dreams, start realizing the talents inherent in us!

Or, for example, if I am a woman, maybe it’s time for me to devote more time to the house and shift the financial support of the family onto the shoulders of my husband, as it should be in general ?! Maybe it's time to finally feel like a Woman - the Keeper of the Hearth and start organizing a space of love and beauty around you and in the house?! We are calm. And we calmly analyze the situation. In the outside world, we do not lie on the couch, but at least look through some ads, send out CVs. At the same time, we do not scold our fate, God - they say we didn’t see it, the government, etc. we have time to rest from the eternal race) and maybe with the purse that was stolen from us, we bought off more (emphasis on o) problems than just losing money. Who knows? This is known only to God. Only he has a complete picture of the world. So in everything - complete trust in God, knowledge and understanding that God knows what and why He is doing in my life! Adoption!

The most amazing thing is that internal acceptance and calmness solve many problems very quickly - a person recovers, a wallet, and often with all the money and documents, relationships with loved ones are restored. One way or another, because or another scenario, any problems are solved. I have observed this many times. Both in their lives and in the lives of other people who have developed and practice acceptance of situations. Because acceptance opens up a huge flow of energy. – we find ourselves right in this stream and attract the best solutions to ourselves like a magnet. Everything is very simple - we just go through the situation correctly and we are rewarded a hundredfold. Acceptance is love. And what we love always becomes our ally! Accepting situations means responding to situations with love. And love is the most powerful energy in the world. Actually, for this we come - to accumulate love in the heart and respond to all situations with love!

Where does humility come from? From what we know there are laws that govern Destiny and we are willing to learn and follow those laws. We have a clear understanding that I am not this body, that I am the Soul. We are all Souls. When we incarnate here on Earth, unfortunately most of us forget this and begin to consider ourselves a mortal body and live according to the principle - we live once and therefore everything must be done in time! But in fact, each of us has hundreds and thousands of incarnations. We do not belong to this world - we come from another. The Earth for us is the School. Or, as one of my Teachers says, a training camp!

Therefore, it is important for each of us here to take the platform of the Disciple. We are all students here. We must learn here on Earth to stand on a platform of trust and openness to the Higher Source - everything that happens to me here on Earth is given for my good, even though sometimes at the first moment it may seem to me that this is not so! Each of us must understand that there is a Higher Power that takes care of us. This Higher Power is God! And here even a blade of grass will not move, if there is no will of God. If something happens in our life, then God willed it! When we do not accept the situation, then we, as it were, express our disagreement with God - they say, God, you did not see something. We express our reproach! By such behavior we put ourselves above God, and in Christianity this behavior of ours is called pride.

Pride, if you remember, is one of the 7 deadly sins. A proud person is always weak, because he lives without taking into account the laws of the Universe. He comes into conflict with God's will. Who do you think will win? Man's Will or God's Will? The answer is obvious. Because the will of man is the will of selfishness. And the will of God is the will of Love and Supreme Justice. Higher Justice, because there is a law of karma - you can avoid the judgment of man, but it is impossible for God. And for good deeds we will be rewarded, and for bad ones. The events of our life are created by ourselves. They are created by our past incarnations, our thoughts and actions in the past. Our past created our present, our present creates our future! All Souls incarnated on Earth are under the control of the Higher Forces, under the control of God, who monitor the fulfillment of the karmic law. We all walk under God. We are all children of God! A proud man forgets about it!

As soon as we are not with God, we have a lot of selfishness, claims to this world, various fears, resentments, etc. We have many blows to fate. We are scarce, flawed inside. In this world, we act only in two directions - either from the Soul, or from the Ego! Everything that we do from the Soul is our selfless deeds. We just do it and don't expect anything in return. It is these actions that fill us with happiness and bring us closer to God. Everything that we do from the Ego (our Ego and our mind is a single bundle) - we expect the same response from the second, and if we don’t get it, claims, resentment, irritation begin. We are moving away from God! When we are humble, we are with God; when we do not accept situations, we are without God. And happiness and harmonious solution of problems is possible only when we are with God. Tell me, is there any problem that could not be solved if God is with me?

For me, one example of true humility is Nick Vujicic. A person who was born without arms and legs. However, today he is a millionaire, a lecturer in demand all over the world. He is married and has a son. Lives a full, happy and fulfilling life. Help and inspire others! All this became possible after he humbled himself - accepted himself the way God created him! He was able to see the Highest Divine Plan in the fact that he was born disabled. But you know, I can't bring myself to call him disabled. He is not disabled. Disabled many of us are disabled souls! Nick, of course, also went through rejection and despondency .... however, he understood what God wants from him! Humility opened to him a huge flow of energy in order to fully realize his full potential. Watch an interview with Nick here, I hope it will inspire you a lot and give you a new outlook on life:
http://www.1tv.ru/news/world/230810

From the bottom of my heart I wish you to understand and be imbued with the understanding that humility is the greatest pearl. Become the shell in which this pearl will grow and live. And your life will be filled with miracles! Love and all the best to you and your loved ones!

Learning to create your own destiny is not the same as learning how to fix a clock or learning a new language. Therefore, it is important to understand from the very beginning that if it takes time to acquire the most basic skills, how much more time will be required for those of us who want to learn how to change our future!

That is why you must be patient. And trust that the book you hold in your hands will reward you for it.

On the following pages, you will come across some ideas and concepts that you may not have thought about before. This book contains the keys to an inner gate that few people suspect exist, let alone open and enter. But you can succeed. In fact, although you do not know it yet, you have already taken the first steps towards something Higher.

How?

Just because you are holding this book in your hands, your destiny has already changed and become new. I will explain to you.

The part of you that prompted you to buy this book already belongs to the Higher Destiny line that exists in you. The very desire to be a Higher person comes from Above and means that there is already a connection between the person you want to become and who you are now; between the new destiny destined for you and what happened to you in the past. All you need to do is stay on the path that has already led you to this moment, as it will lead you straight to the Highest Destiny you are striving for. You are on the threshold of a new stage of your journey.

Before you opens a lot of new and exciting. But you must remember that the best intentions are the most exalted ones, requiring your own efforts to reach new heights. Let me give you a few tips that will ensure your continued progress on the Higher Path.

First, as you advance in the doctrine of the new life, you may encounter certain difficulties more than once. You will be visited by an unsettling feeling of not understanding what you are doing or even Why are you doing this! But every time you are ready to raise your hands to the sky or fly the white flag, try to remember the following. No matter how strange your insecurity may seem to you, you must see its true meaning: it is Good, not bad! After all, in your work you have been advancing to this very moment all the time.

How is this possible? Let me explain.

Your confusion indicates that you have reached the true inner threshold; you have the opportunity to enter into something really unknown to you. And this incredible place is the very gates of a new destiny. So, be bold!

Secondly, if you simply persevere in your path, you will overcome these times of trial. I promise it. Nothing can stop your sincere search, not even those thoughts and feelings that tell you that you are not moving on because you do not understand how to take the next step. Take this step anyway. And then you will understand.

The light from one brief moment when you honestly ask yourself a question is much stronger than the darkness accumulated over millions of years of doubt. So dare to go further... and you will succeed!

Every uncertainty is a special invitation to life to penetrate the mystery of the eternally new, so that one day, in the vastness of this limitless world, find yourself its master.

Ever since men and women set foot on this earth, they have comprehended the secrets of the world around them. It is in our nature to explore, discover new things and push the boundaries of the known. One by one, from fire to nuclear fusion, we patiently and steadily forced Mother Nature to reveal her great secrets and put them to our service.

But despite all our knowledge and victories over the forces of the world around us, we still live in darkness when it comes to understanding the nature of those forces that lurk within ourselves.

What is this undiscovered world within us? What do we really know about his oceans of turbulent feelings? About countless invisible forms of thought? Only a few will dare to admit that this inner world is dominated by the same invisible forces that make the world around us revolve. And it is difficult to understand: why do we explore the external world and completely ignore the world of our soul? With all that he can give us, with all the numerous forces that can open up like a casket with placers of treasures ... Why are there so few who dare to try - and take possession of all the breathtaking secrets of power over themselves, over their own secret me?

This book invites you to be one of the few. You hold in your hands everything you need to arrive in the invisible inner world to master and subdue your own thoughts and feelings. What adventures await you once you have the power you need to create your own destiny!

As we travel and study, we will discover together why many of the paths we take every day seem predetermined against our will. Why, when we really want to do something new or become someone else, we almost always end up doing just the opposite. Instead of challenging, we choose the path of least resistance. And then we blame people or circumstances, or dejectedly complain about our own weakness.

If you are already tired of this, then the book is about creating your own destiny will give you secret keys that will make you master of your life path, as well as all your life experience. You will learn to predetermine your destiny. Such secrets exist. And they can open up to you.

With the help of eleven effective exercises for improving the inner life, which this book will teach you, you will discover how to feel and fully master not only the obvious, but also the subtle forces that determine your choices in life. And since this choice is decisions made on a daily basis to feel the influence of invisible internal forces that determine these decisions is like taking control of your own destiny.

You must become one of the few who always goes exactly where he wants; one of those whose entire life experience serves only self-enrichment. This is the fate that is destined for you! So let's put together what will put it in our hands.

To rise above yourself, you must first become yourself. This does not require any mental effort from you, but only the willingness see yourself the way you really are.

This is not the law of the life of a man or a woman in particular, but the Law of Life in general: before you live another life, before you become happier, wiser, gain peace and calm power over yourself, you must change your essence. Essence- it's all.

WHAT IS ESSENCE?

It is worth thinking just for a moment to understand that everything around us has its Essence. Why? Because all forms of physical life - living or non-living - are the expression of that One Great Life, whose boundless energy of intelligence and creative energy is the basis of all that exists. Thus, even an ordinary stone has some kind of Essence. And all kinds of Essences - from stones and roses to me and you - have their own nature...

WHAT DEFINES THE NATURE OF THINGS?

The nature of a stone is entirely determined by the natural forces acting on it. This means that his Essence has no choice; that both the nature of the stone and its fate are in fact predetermined. One day it will turn to dust. Gradual decay is part of the nature of all physical things.

In the same way, a graceful rose, dressed in its fragrant velvety petals, cannot choose its nature. Each individual rose cannot decide whether to have thorns or not, to attract bees or not. Like the stone next to which it grows, the nature of any rose is unchanged manifestation of her essence.

But human nature is your nature - not immutable. It may change.

This amazing quality, the potential for change inherent in our own nature, puts us above all the countless creations of the Lord. And this fact of the uniqueness of our nature gives us a special power. The peculiarity of our Essence is that each of us is endowed with the power to choose the course of our own destiny. Let's see how it goes.

Your Essence is in a process of constant unfoldment. You don't decide it. Essence is a gift received at birth. She just there is. But how your life unfolds is what you you can influence. This is called making a choice. In order to have a real voice in making decisions in your own life, make sure you understand the following exactly.

Before you can change the course of events and learn to create your own destiny, you must first find your way to that cherished place within yourself where your own future is created moment by moment. Yes, there is such a place. And you can get in there and control your own destiny.

This is truly a place outside of time and space, where all decisions in your life are made, what we understand by the Present Moment. This is a place of exceptional and limitless power, because the True Now is a kind of Seed sown from the Cosmos, from which all that will happen later will sprout. This brings us to one of our main lessons.

Together with the knowledge that you have already received in the course of our classes, your awareness of the following concept will bring you one step closer to gaining control over your own destiny. The Present Moment is the place where the impudent Essence, being a boundless and absolute energy, meets with our nature and breathes life into it. Now our nature exists in time, that is, it is woven from all your previous experience. In other words, nature is a psychological vessel for our memories and knowledge, created under the influence of our social, religious and economic situation.

The Present Moment, where our Essence and nature meet, is the moment of our destiny. Up to this moment, we could only to a small extent decide how our destinies unfold, because everything was run by our nature - our past with all its accumulated fears, forced actions and doubts. A few more facts will help us move forward in understanding the problems associated with this subconscious inner state.

Our true nature is the nature of thought. She has to think - that is the only way she can be aware of herself. And for this reason, our inner nature is unable to see that many of its own thoughts are not at all what they seem to it. For example, we all considered ourselves strong or were sure that our lives were “in perfect order”. But we were shocked by the depth of our own self-deception. We returned to reality and saw that our idea of ​​ourselves is just a thought that has no real power!

Similar situations, repeated over and over again, make this quite obvious. Our real nature cannot know when a wrong decision is made, because at the very moment when it is busy deciding our fate, using its confused or false idea of ​​​​it, this nature itself is such a wrong decision. Not only does she not see the forest because of the trees, sometimes she does not even know what is hidden in this forest!

The reality would be very harsh if we had no other choice and we would be forced to live in the captivity of our limited consciousness until the end of our days. Our life, day after day, would differ little from the position of a passenger in a carriage driven by six powerful horses without a driver! Yes, we could reach our destination. But during the whole trip, we would be tormented by doubts about where we are going and whether we will get there at all! You agree with me, I know! And it helps us take the next step on our journey. Perhaps the most important step.

It's time to introduce you to the third character, operating in the carriage and horses metaphor. You are on the verge of becoming acquainted with the power that dwells in your own consciousness, by calling upon which at every meeting of your nature with your Essence, you will have at your disposal both the charioteer and the harness you need in order to begin to rule your own destiny.

You can think of it as some kind of third force that, once at your disposal, will open up a sort of exit for you into the Present Moment. It is called Awareness. This is the most unique feature of our nature, and for this reason: your awareness of the Now and is the Present Moment itself.

At this point you must stop for a moment. To take this concept out of the realm of thought directly into your life and decide to be fully aware of yourself.

If you've never tried this before, here are a few tips to help you.

Look inside yourself, this moment. Without plunging into thoughts, just feel all the sounds, pictures, feelings, thoughts, sensations of texture and warmth inside and outside of yourself. right now. Again, this awareness of yourself and your environment is not achieved by the power of thought. And if you master this higher kind of self-knowledge, you will see that this awareness is the very Present Moment that you have just experienced. They are one. This means that this self-awareness is also part of your Essence, since it contains the Present Moment. Here it is, that moment of inner truth, to which we have been going all this time.

By realizing the Present Moment, which is a hidden part of your True Being, you do not have to choose which path is best for you. Your mind knows this because it sees it. Where your ordinary nature is often blinded by its own hidden interests, your Being, currently represented by your consciousness, easily sees through these treacherous thoughts if they come up from your subconscious.

The presence of this Supreme Intelligence will save you from defeat. And it's like making you win in a whole new way! Because every time you realize that you no longer need to choose from the narrow range of options limited by the nature of your thought, as before, completely new, higher possibilities will open before your inner eye. At such moments, we receive messages from our very True Being. And guided by these principles, you will be able to create your own destiny as easily as you are now confident in yourself - because how can you not succeed now when the Truth itself guides you!

SPECIAL NOTES

For even greater success, reread this chapter one or more times until you gain an understanding of the new concepts described in it. Some of important concepts considered in this and subsequent chapters of the book may seem too complicated to you, but they are not beyond the possible - costs only take a chance and go to temporary inconveniences in order to reach out to what seems to you now unattainable. All much closer than you think! And that's why.

The concepts described in this book are based on on real facts i.e. they are available anyone who wants to see them. Your success depends entirely on the strength of your desire to see beyond your present understanding. But when you understand that your current level of understanding does not allow you to know what is really beyond it, you will understand what you need to do to reach this new, higher level of consciousness.

So dare to rise above yourself - seize and hold on to this desire until a new support appears under your feet. It will be so if you take this step.

The greatest power of self-realization is that no one can reach it without fully knowing its character from the very beginning.

After this short chapter, I want to introduce you to eleven exercises designed specifically to help you master the inner skills needed to create your own destiny. Each of them has unique properties and helps you to make an inner challenge that will help awaken in you a new self-awareness on highest level. With painstaking work, you will soon master the power to change the course of your life by changing your own nature as expressed by the Now.

To get good results, read all eleven exercises at once, like a normal book - from beginning to end, then return to each lesson separately, fully focusing on it for at least one day.

For excellent results, I suggest you work on each exercise for a full week. You can practice longer if you want. But no matter what time frame you choose, do your best by working on any single exercise in your lesson every free minute ... and I'm sure you will have a lot of them within twelve hours.

Start with any of these exercises. Perhaps one of them is better suited to your personal condition at the moment. This is fine. Whichever exercise you start your inner work with, it is important that you complete each one.

And here is the last instruction, designed to significantly accelerate your progress in working on yourself.

Once you've completed one exercise and are ready to move on to the next, don't stop repeating the exercise you just finished. Even if the next exercise requires your full attention, you can manage and continue working on two exercises at once. And you will find that these exercises will reinforce and consolidate each other's results and thus hasten the process of your self-discovery.

Succeed at least once in at least one of these unique exercises, and your life will never be the same again. Everything will become new to you, because both your victory over your own nature and your New Knowledge - everything now tells you: you you can create your own destiny!

There is no such thing as a wasted step when your ultimate goal is to change yourself.