How to become an interesting conversationalist. Burnout, stress and fatigue. How to counter this? What techniques make advertising so tenacious? Is it possible to use these techniques to attract the attention of others? Yes, you can

Quarantine in connection with the spread of the coronavirus put a big cross on many goals. If your plans for 2020 did not include a month of staying at home, then you need to find a way to make good use of the time that you have. While you are wondering what to do in order not to waste quarantine and then regret it for a very long time, we suggest that you familiarize yourself with several useful online courses. After all, the quarantine will end, the epidemic will recede, and the knowledge gained will remain with you forever.

experiencing emotional stress, our body connects reserve forces and adapts more easily to changes in environment. But constant nervous strain affects the well-being of a person and leads to physical and moral exhaustion. How to increase stress resistance and create invisible armor against life's adversities?

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Just as we can develop behaviors that attract people, we can also develop toxic behaviors that frighten those around us. Such toxic behavior can negatively affect our relationships with family or friends. Therefore, in order to care for those we love and not threaten our support system, we must be able to identify and change the behaviors that scare others. Sometimes toxic behavior causes jealousy. This is a negative emotion that can harm our relationships and affect communication.

Not every fatigue and overload should lead to stress or professional burnout. However, in every burnout there are elements of fatigue, overload, and more.

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Almost everything that happens to us is our own fault. Yes, yes, dear reader, that's right! Now many will object to me that they say - but what about fate, predestination, etc. things? Well, I will say more - I am a believer and believe in fate. But what is fate? And is it possible to change fate with your own hands?

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Why is it sometimes better to say "no"

Many have watched the movie "Always Say Yes", almost everyone has heard the saying: "it is better to do and regret than not to do and regret", but there are things in life that you need to categorically refuse, we will tell about them in this article.

My clients often ask me about how to be an interesting companion for a man. The answer is simple - ask questions and learn to listen with interest to the answer. The question has an amazing property to concentrate the brain in the direction of the answer, it launches such a mental search engine.

This means that attention is focused, firstly, on the topic of conversation, and secondly, on the personality of the person who is asked the question - after all, before answering, we subconsciously evaluate who we will answer. In the first case, you need to direct your thought in the right direction for you.

For example, if you want to be a Holiday for a man, talk to him about the holidays, but if you want relationships, love, talk to him about love. Better ask. Don't be afraid to be too curious - people like to talk about themselves and remember pleasant things. And let his interest and attention, recreated pleasant emotions, be associated in his mind with your person - this will benefit your relationship.

The second benefit of asking questions is information that you can use to understand whether you need such a partner or not. By the way, try to pay attention not only to what your partner says, but also to how he says it. In fact, a person often and a lot talks about himself - we just don’t want or don’t know how to analyze information, we prefer to live in illusions, and we are focused on our person during the dialogue. Although timely attentiveness could prevent both small disappointments and big tragedies in our personal lives.

The best time for questions is the period of flirting, courtship. This is the time of the very beginning of a relationship, when it is better to keep your ears open, and not to rush to open your heart to a stranger. Ask with a share of childish spontaneity, sometimes in a playful tone, easily - and analyze. Get to know him better with the help of prepared questions that you can simply choose from the collection below and learn the basics of active listening. Everyone likes people who talk to us about us))

  • What is "freedom" for you?
  • I wonder by what signs a woman can find out that a man likes her?
  • I wonder how a man understands that a woman likes him?
  • Is it true that men prefer weak (strong) women?
  • I wonder what was the best thing you did for your woman?
  • Interesting, how do you relax?
  • Interesting, how do you have fun?
  • How often do you fall in love?
  • Do you believe in love at first sight?
  • What is the first thing you pay attention to when meeting the opposite sex?
  • Who can you say that he or she is “the love of my life”?
  • Would you like to change your gender even for a day? Who would you like to be then? What would you do?
  • Who did you have the longest relationship with?
  • What's the best gift you've received from a partner?
  • What clothes do you find sexy?
  • What is "pleasure" for you?
  • What is the most valuable thing in life for you?
  • What's your favorite love story?
  • What is your favorite love song?
  • What's your favorite love movie?
  • What is the best thing about marriage?
  • Can you be happy just because your partner is happy?
  • What is more important to you: the process or the result?
  • I wonder what a man looks for in a woman first of all?
  • When was the relationship perfectly happy?
  • What famous person would you like to have a sexual relationship with?
  • Do you consider yourself a romantic?
  • How would you like your partner to show their love?
  • Describe your ideal marriage. How does a day go in such marriages?
  • What is love?
  • Should there be a law punishing unfaithful lovers?
  • Why do people try to change each other?
  • What kind of people do you love?
  • Describe how you felt when you first fell in love?
  • Name two qualities that do not attract you to the members of the opposite sex? Attract?
  • What is your idea of ​​an ideal man/woman?
  • What important lesson have you learned from past relationships?
  • Who do you think is the most romantic couple in world history, in books, movies?
  • Describe your ideal partner.
  • What kind of weather do you find the most romantic?
  • Who was the last person to say "I love you" to you?
  • What kindles the fire in you, and what extinguishes?
  • What characterizes a good marriage?
  • What love lesson from your experience do you remember for a long time?
  • What are three things you love to do with your partner?

An exercise

Choose 5 questions you like from the list. Ask them in the near future in a conversation with a man. Track the reaction.

What conclusions do you come to? Then the next five...

The ability to strike up a conversation and communicate with people helps to make new friends, climb the career ladder, increases self-esteem and generally only benefits a person. Casual secular dialogues allow you to defuse the situation and hush up any awkward situation.

1. Feel free to ask questions

Do you want to learn how to become an interesting conversationalist? There is nothing difficult in this. For starters, forget about shyness, and feel free to ask strangers questions. Ask the interlocutor what he does. The person’s answer will probably be long enough and the conversation will not end there.

Not sure where to start the conversation, ask the person what brought them to the business event or party where you met. How it relates to his job or interests. And then use the answers to continue the conversation.

2. Compliment

Telling how to become an interesting interlocutor, psychologists recommend giving people compliments. We love to please, and to continue the conversation with the person we like, we want more. Compliments equally effectively "work" in both women's and men's companies. When talking to a lady, praise her appearance, outfit or jewelry, and it is enough for a gentleman to say that he looks great.

Do you struggle to find questions to talk about? Do not waste time in vain, but ask your interlocutor for advice. Say, for example, that you want to know his opinion on a work project or the choice of wine for a holiday, ask if he knows about an upcoming event or if he saw a new movie. People like to help others and they enjoy it. Even the most modest and silent person, having heard your request, will show himself from the other side and, in the truest sense of the word, will blossom.

4. Tell us about yourself

Thinking about how to build a conversation, it is not necessary to form a list of questions and anticipate possible answers to them. Try not to ask questions to the interlocutor, but to the first one. This technique is especially effective for starting a dialogue with shy men and women. Seeing your openness, they will relax and be more willing to make contact.

5. Use the circumstances

If you don't know how to start a conversation, use the circumstances around you: you can start a conversation about the weather, the results of a sports game, the performers on the stage if you are at an event, etc. After that, smoothly move on to more interesting topics.

6. Find common interests

To know how to build a conversation with a new acquaintance in the future, find common interests. It can be anything: a love of fishing, reading books, drawing, collecting scale models of equipment.

7. Use Active Listening

By finding topics and questions for conversation, earn a reputation as a pleasant conversationalist. To do this, not only speak, but also listen carefully to the other person. Look at the interlocutor when he says something, nod to him and help, if necessary, find the right phrases.

8. Smile

Knowing how to strike up a conversation is only half the battle. When conducting a conversation, it is important to show that you are disposed towards a person, be open. To do this, smile more often. The smile is felt even during telephone communication. However, do not overdo it, so as not to be considered too frivolous a person.

9. Use "I" Less Often in Conversations

Not knowing how to start a conversation, we begin to tell the interlocutor about ourselves. This is normal, but you should not constantly use the pronoun "I" in dialogues, demonstrating undisguised. Change the form of statements. Having decided how to continue the conversation and telling something to the interlocutor, instead of "I'm surprised" say "surprisingly", instead of "I want" - "I want".

10. Call your interlocutor by name more often

When telling how to continue a conversation or start it, it is worth clarifying: you must definitely find out the name of the interlocutor and actively use it in dialogues. It has long been known that it is difficult to find something more pleasant than the sounds of one's own name.

11. Avoid difficult terms and phrases

Do not try to give yourself an edge by using complex scientific terms in a conversation. A smart person will understand what you are without it. When expressing thoughts, explain complex things in simple terms.

Are you telling a compelling story and seeing people yawn? Perhaps this story is not as interesting as you think. Try to complete it and let others have their say.

2. Learn to listen

Let the interlocutor talk about himself. Ask him counter questions. Strangely, the people we like the most always say little.

3. Discuss the interests of the interlocutor

Ask a person about him, ask different questions and discuss them. You are already 80% close to being liked. If you are well versed in the hobby of the interlocutor, then you can easily keep up the conversation. If not, then ask him for more details. He will speak with great pleasure.

4. Keep Three Stories in Stock

People are not interested in the features of your new phone. What really turns them on is real events that happened to you. So always have three stories to tell. They must be exciting and emotional. Let the interlocutor be interested in what will happen in the next minute.

5. Develop charisma

So much meaning is put into this word that it becomes difficult to understand its true meaning. Someone says that they are born with, and someone believes that this personality trait is developed over the years. But here's what's interesting: research The Heart of Social Psychology: A Backstage View of a Passionate Science, conducted by two psychologists in 1967, proved that in a conversation only 7% of attention is paid to words. The rest comes from tone of voice and body language.

Laugh, smile, be emotional. Don't forget about gestures and don't rely on words alone.

6. Live an interesting life

Chat with different people, read more books, watch movies, travel. The best way to become interesting person- live an interesting life. And believe me, this will give you much more than just the opportunity to be a good conversationalist.

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